Downstairs Neighbor Complaining about Allergies

ellyr · Dec 19, 2013

So I just moved into a new apartment last week. Today my downstairs neighbor politely informed me that he is allergic to cats, and that his allergies have been flaring up. He mentioned that he and his wife would be an air purifier for their apartment, but then started to talk about dander shampoos and the like.

I'm sorry, but What. The.

He was very polite, seems like a nice guy, but... I'm sorry, you live on a first floor apartment. What do you want me to do? My application was approved, and I said upfront that I have cats. My cats can be here with me!

I'm trying my best to be responsive to his comments about the noise levels, but allergies? How does that *happen*?

natalie_ca · Dec 19, 2013

ellyr said:
So I just moved into a new apartment last week. Today my downstairs neighbor politely informed me that he is allergic to cats, and that his allergies have been flaring up. He mentioned that he and his wife would be an air purifier for their apartment, but then started to talk about dander shampoos and the like.

I'm sorry, but What. The. F&*#.

He was very polite, seems like a nice guy, but... I'm sorry, you live on a first floor apartment. What do you want me to do? My application was approved, and I said upfront that I have cats. My cats can be here with me!

I'm trying my best to be responsive to his comments about the noise levels, but allergies? How does that *happen*?

I wouldn't worry about it. The next time he mentions your cats, just politely say, "I see" or "I'm sorry to hear that." and carry on with your business. You don't need to justify having cats. As you said you didn't hide the fact that you have them, and the agency knows.

peaches08 · Dec 19, 2013

Play the helpful suggestion game with him and suggest antihistamines to him. :lol3:

eb24 · Dec 19, 2013

peaches08 said:
Play the helpful suggestion game with him and suggest antihistamines to him.

Haha agreed! Or, perhaps slip the info for one of those big giant bubbles that people who are allergic to everything roll around in? Because that's where he is headed! I fail to see how your downstairs neighbor could be so severely affected. Sounds more like allergies of the mind than the body to me!

AbbysMom · Dec 20, 2013

Is your apartment heat/air conditioning centralized so that he could be getting fur and dander through the vents?

stewball · Dec 20, 2013

Oh really. I doubt if the ac could be bothering them. He may be a perpetual complainer. How does he know you have cats in any case? And he's giving you advice on how to bring them up? Anti dander shampoo?
I've never bathed a cat. The way my 2 behave they'll never need to bath them!

denice · Dec 20, 2013

I don't know where you live but most areas here in the U.S. have plenty of rentals that don't allow pets. If he is really that sensitive and/or dislikes cats that much why doesn't he just move to a no pets allowed rental? If that's the case in your area then he is probably just a complainer. Just be civil and ignore the comments about your cats.

swampwitch · Dec 20, 2013

I wouldn't automatically call him a nutbar, you don't yet know what's going on exactly. I agree that it seems a stretch that it could be your cats bothering him, but if your cats are indoor / outdoor, and there's a shared area (for example), he could be right. Also what AbbysMom pointed out about centralized heat / air is a valid point - it's possible he has a legitimate concern.

We all know it's not easy to just move to another apartment, especially for elderly people who are also most likely on a fixed income. Since he was polite, why not try to work things out?

If I were in this situation, I would try to make friends with the couple. Knock on their door to talk about the problem and discuss possible solutions. Obviously you are not moving again or getting rid of your cats, but what does it hurt to hear the guy out and try to come to an agreement with him?

What you do now might determine if you are going to have an enemy neighbor downstairs, with all the future problems and nightmares that come with that! Or you could show up at their door a loaf of zucchini bread or box of chocolates (or whatever, a peace offering would be great but not necessary), willing to hear him out and show you are concerned about causing him problems. (Sometimes that's all people want to hear.)

You could end up with a friend and ally downstairs, who knows. But please hear the guy out before you judge him, he was polite. Maybe he IS super-sensitive, maybe your cats ARE causing him problems, put yourself in his place and go talk to him. Even if he's just crazy or a troublemaker (or especially if he is), talking to him could smooth things out for the future. Good luck!

stewball · Dec 20, 2013

SwampWitch said:
I wouldn't automatically call him a nutbar, you don't yet know what's going on exactly. I agree that it seems a stretch that it could be your cats bothering him, but if your cats are indoor / outdoor, and there's a shared area (for example), he could be right. Also what AbbysMom pointed out about centralized heat / air is a valid point - it's possible he has a legitimate concern.

We all know it's not easy to just move to another apartment, especially for elderly people who are also most likely on a fixed income. Since he was polite, why not try to work things out?

If I were in this situation, I would try to make friends with the couple. Knock on their door to talk about the problem and discuss possible solutions. Obviously you are not moving again or getting rid of your cats, but what does it hurt to hear the guy out and try to come to an agreement with him?

What you do now might determine if you are going to have an enemy neighbor downstairs, with all the future problems and nightmares that come with that! Or you could show up at their door a loaf of zucchini bread or box of chocolates (or whatever, a peace offering would be great but not necessary), willing to hear him out and show you are concerned about causing him problems. (Sometimes that's all people want to hear.)
You could end up with a friend and ally downstairs, who knows. But please hear the guy out before you judge him, he was polite. Maybe he IS super-sensitive, maybe your cats ARE causing him problems, put yourself in his place and go talk to him. Even if he's just crazy or a troublemaker (or especially if he is), talking to him could smooth things out for the
future. Good luck!

I suppose you're right in a way but how can anything be sorted out. They're probably house cats - it's not easy to have indoor/outdoor cats in an apartment building. I live in one.
So if they're indoor what arrangement could there possibly be. As you said she's not going to get rid of the kitties move. It was rather ridiculous on his part to have even said anything but making friends is good and I think a normal cake would be best. Not everybody likes zucchini in bread or out.

jcat · Dec 20, 2013

AbbysMom said:
Is your apartment heat/air conditioning centralized so that he could be getting fur and dander through the vents?

That was my first thought, because if so, it can be very dangerous if he's extremely allergic to cats. Unfortunately, some people are, and no amount of antihistamines or simple air filters help. This isn't something to be taken lightly, i.e., just brushed off because it doesn't suit you.

As some of the longtime members know, my brother was severely allergic to cats, lived in an apartment building with central pushed-air heating/air conditioning, and died of an asthma attack a few days after getting a new neighbor - with three cats. He was just 37 and had been living there for a number of years. Was he supposed to move because the next-door apartment was rented to somebody with multiple cats? I know from growing up with him that having one short-haired cat confined to the downstairs, allergy meds, air filters and vacuuming every day weren't enough to keep him symptom-free. The poor woman felt horrible about what happened, simply devastated, and has had to live with the knowledge that she unwittingly caused his death. You don't want to be in that situation, believe me. Please sit down and talk to your neighbors and try to find a mutually satisfactory solution.

I love cats, too, but I'm honestly shocked at the attitude in some of the posts in this thread.

ellyr · Dec 20, 2013

We think it's probably the central air system. I got an e-mail from the landlady this morning saying that she didn't know the downstairs tenant had cat allergies, but that I shouldn't worry because the landlord has always allowed pets. So at least there's that.

Given that I've also gotten complaints about the cats running around on the hardwood floors at night, though, I've basically spent the week since moving in crying with frustration and sadness. It is a building where pets are allowed. I moved with the understanding that my pets were okay. I don't think my neighbor is a malicious sort, but I'm stressed. He's said that I'm not overly loud, it's just the cats. *My* upstairs neighbor clomps around at 3 AM every morning and keeps me up; I'd rather have cats chasing each other, personally.

peaches08 · Dec 20, 2013

I didn't mean to offend anyone.

I have asthma and I'm allergic to cats. I know that some people have it way worse than I do. However, this man moved into a complex that allows pets. I've lived above a chronic complainer before. Hopefully that's not the case here and they can work something out.

jcat · Dec 20, 2013

peaches08 We don't know his side of the story. Perhaps the apartment building had a no pets policy when he moved in, he didn't know before constant exposure to cats that he was allergic to them, the problem is caused by there being more than one cat, or it's one cat in particular that sets off his allergies. My allergist is on my case about getting another black male cat, because they supposedly are "the worst", though I don't believe that's been satisfactorily proven. You can have an allergic reaction to certain breeds, or to one pet, but not to others of the same breed, simply because of their coat.

It doesn't seem fair to just assume the guy is a crank because he politely indicated there's a problem.

E ellyr Could you put a rug down in the room where the cats play the roughest? That would dampen the sound.

stewball · Dec 20, 2013

I know it's very hard if you're allergic but as was mentioned but what can be worked out? He lives in a animal allowed building. She moved in with the landlords knowledge that she's a cat mother. When you say work something out what do you suggest? As to the noise they make, like a herd of elephants
:lol3: !.. are you supposed to put slippers on their little paws? Stop crying. You haven't done anything wrong. Stop stressing. You'll make yourself ill for no good reason.
It's terrible that the brother died. Of course it is but it's not the owner of the cats fault. People with cats are allowed to live wherever permissable. No one is going to ask are there people with allergies in this building ? Ol I'll look for somewhere else to live although there isn't.
I'm sorry. I'm not being cruel mean or nasty. These are facts of life.

peaches08 · Dec 20, 2013

jcat said:
peaches08 We don't know his side of the story. Perhaps the apartment building had a no pets policy when he moved in, he didn't know before constant exposure to cats that he was allergic to them, the problem is caused by there being more than one cat, or it's one cat in particular that sets off his allergies. My allergist is on my case about getting another black male cat, because they supposedly are "the worst", though I don't believe that's been satisfactorily proven. You can have an allergic reaction to certain breeds, or to one pet, but not to others of the same breed, simply because of their coat.

It doesn't seem fair to just assume the guy is a crank because he politely indicated there's a problem.

E ellyr Could you put a rug down in the room where the cats play the roughest? That would dampen the sound.

That's totally possible. I'm not saying that he is a crank, but I've certainly dealt with that type.

As far as black cats, I've never had them bother my allergies. My soul kitty Grey (who was grey), good grief would my eyes water! Taking Zyrtec and Singulair helped a lot. I still take it and these 3 cats don't bother me as much. That might be an option for him.

andrya · Dec 20, 2013

@jcat l'm so sorry to hear about your brother

@ellyr this has to be disheartening to say the least, excitedly moving to a new place only to be hit with complaints right off the bat. My personal "guess" would be that he is just whining, and l only say that because the noise was mentioned first, and the allergies were secondary. Perhaps he thinks he has a chance of getting you to move/give up the cats if he claims allergies? Just a thought.

However, it could very well be that he guy does have serious allergies and that would obviously need to be addressed. lt's the same with any allergy - here, schools are nut-free environments because some children are deathly allergic. Some workplaces will do thorough wipedowns nightly to prevent allergic reactions in one/some of their staff. These are accommodations the majority have to make for the small minority willingly, because we all have the right to be healthy.

l think the first step, as @SwampWitch said, would be to have a thorough and open conversation with the guy and see what the facts of the situation are. lf he doesn't like cats, hates the noise, and has a sniffle, he'll have to get over himself. But if he's an older gentleman with serious allergies, l think that's something you should be aware of, and hopefully everyone involved can effect a resolution.

MoochNNoodles · Dec 20, 2013

I love the old saying; you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. He was polite; I'd be polite in return and talk with him. If it's a shared, forced air system then it's very possible. DH is allergic so the girls aren't allowed in our bedroom. But he notices a difference in his symptoms if the filter on the furnace isn't changed regularly. He changes ours every 3 months. We also go for upgraded filters. Not top of the line; but ones designed to catch more allergens. When I lived at home; I honestly do not remember the air filter ever being changed. My own seasonal allergies were much worse there. I wonder if it's possible to find some kind of filter that works in the vents themselves?

larussa · Dec 20, 2013

A few people mentioned that this guy was elderly but your post didn't say that. Is he elderly?? Not that that matters but some older folks can be real pain in the butts. Everything bothers them, maybe your apartment was vacant for a long while and now the downstairs neighbors aren't real happy someone is again living above them.

I wouldn't let him bother me, just take care of your kitties and let him take care of himself. If you try to be friendly and he still has an attitude, just ignore him from then on. There is nothing more you could do.

I would be considered elderly by the way and I try not to intrude on other people's lives. Good luck to you.

stewball · Dec 20, 2013

LaRussa said:
A few people mentioned that this guy was elderly but your post didn't say that. Is he elderly?? Not that that matters but some older folks can be real pain in the butts. Everything bothers them, maybe your apartment was vacant for a long while and now the downstairs neighbors aren't real happy someone is again living above them.

I wouldn't let him bother me, just take care of your kitties and let him take care of himself. If you try to be friendly and he still has an attitude, just ignore him from then on. There is nothing more you could do.

I would be considered elderly by the way and I try not to intrude on other people's lives. Good luck to you.

What do you call elderly? I'll be 70 next August
:argh:

But I wouldn't dream of telling another tenant/owner that I'm allergic to cats/dogs so what are you doing to do about it!
I know he didn't say that but that's the implication.
Be nice. Be charming. But be strong. You are completely in the right here.
When I lived in my old flat and my kids were small the elderysh gentleman one floor down complained about noise from the kids. They were no noisier than other kids. What did complaining do for him?
Not much. They were children.
You've got cats whose little feet do make a noise when they're playing
So put down some rugs
I was also disturbed in my new home by the kids up above me. I didn't complain
No point.
Same here. It's unfortunate but you're not going to move because of this.
I don't know what else to say.

denice · Dec 20, 2013

I think what constitutes elderly changes as someone gets older. I am 57. When I was in my early 20s I thought 57 was elderly, I certainly don't think that now. Amazing how that works. I will say that things like loud music from another apartment gets on my nerves more now than it used to but it always did bother me. I think what bothers me about it though is that I feel people are being inconsiderate. Little random things like some one moving something doesn't bother me that's just part of living in an apartment.

Downstairs Neighbor Complaining about Allergies

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