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Fiance vs. Felines

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
My fiance and I will be getting married in November and we have just moved into a new house together. He is not the loser as mentioned in another thread - he is absolutely wonderful! The only thing that has come up in our relationship is the cats.

My cats have always had free run of the house. They sleep on my bed, my head, my pillow with me or next to me, and even under the covers with me. I could care less about sleeping on a pillow with cat hair. My cats (and my dog) are my babies.

He doesn't dislike the cats but he doesn't understand cat behavior and he doesn't have the bond that I do with them. One of my cats is extremely jumpy - especially around people other than myself. It annoys him that the cat runs from just about anything and everything. I understand the cat - we have a special bond different from the other cats (my bond is different with each of them).

Furthermore, upon moving into a house together he has made it a rule that there is to be no animals in the bedroom (he does not want to sleep in a bed full of cat hair he says). He also gets annoyed by them when they get into things - like when they want to get up on the cabinet tops right underneath the kitchen ceiling (he says that allowing them to do this will create cat hair in the kitchen that will get into our food). Well cat hair can get anywhere not matter what!!!

He really and truly doesn't dislike the cats, he feeds them and does the litter boxes and will pet or play with them. It just really hurts that they cannot sleep in the bed with me anymore. One of them has been crying at the door to come in because she used to get under the covers with me every night.

Any words of wisdom out there?
post #2 of 17
Yes and I speak from experience. My fiance and I live together also. At first, he did not like the idea that I kept my cats inside. He grew up with dogs that stayed outside. He thought I was a nut for thinking an animal is part of the family. Now he babytalks them and calls himself "daddy" to them.
My guess is that he is all new to this and he will get used to them being inside. I'm sure he will let them sleep in the room once he really starts loving them. For now, try compromise. Try to make them get off of the counter when he is around. Cats are smart. They can learn not to get on the counter while he is home and when you're home it's differeent. Scott(my fiance) doesn't want "cat hair arond the computer". So I'm supposed to shut them out of this room. Well, they are laying next to me now. And when he comes home, they know to not scratch on the door.
Be patient, he sounds like a good guy, he's just not used to cats as family members. But he'll come around. How can he not?!!:flower: :flower:
post #3 of 17
I hope things work out for you with the cats. I guess being a cat lover it is hard to understand not wanting them everywhere....LOL.
post #4 of 17
Thread Starter 
Just wanted to say thanks to ya'll for the words of encouragement! Obviously I am new to the site and after months of searching for a site where I could find some feline support I have finally found one!!!!
post #5 of 17
Sleep without cat hair??? Can people really do this? I've been breathing and wearing and eating cat hair for so many years I think I would go into withdrawal if I suddenly went without it!

Give him time...I'll bet that he becomes as hooked as you are before too long.
post #6 of 17
Hi sfell,

Welcome to the catsite. I am sure you will find many educated cat
people here.

I agree that hopefully you fiance will come around. However, I most definitely could never imagine someone telling me
that I could not sleep with my kitties anymore. They are attached to
me as much as I am attached to them.

That is probably why I am still single :LOL:

Good luck to you.
post #7 of 17
Not to change the subject but I thought I'd let you know that I have a friend named Sabra!! Cool, huh? She says she has only ever known 1 person with that name.
post #8 of 17
I just thought I'd let you know that my husband and I have a similar circumstance. My husband is not nearly the animal person I am, but he likes the cats pretty much. However, he is a very light sleeper, I mean everything wakes this man up. And let me tell you, he's a bear when he doesn't have enough sleep. Because of this, the cats aren't allowed in our room at night. We actually put them in their own room during the night so he can get his sleep. They've learned to live with that arrangement. There have been times in my 10-year marriage where I've had to let my husbands needs outweigh my animals, and it is hard sometimes, but he is my husband after all.

Now, there is a difference in our situation. My husband and I were married before I had the cats, so he did come first. Also, the cats have always slept away from us, so it wasn't something new for them. Hopefully after your fiance has been around the cats for a while, he'll see that sleeping with them isn't all that bad, perhaps even enjoyable. Let me assure you, when my husbands out of town, the cats are in the bedroom and my outside dog is there too!

Good luck!
post #9 of 17
Here's a suggestion. Get him the book Cats for Dummies. My husband knows my cats (and dogs) come first but we do have an agreement that when we are not home, they are in their own room because if somebody broke into my house, the cats would escape. They have a radio, beds, TV (sattalite no less), water and whatever they need in their room and are very happy with that. Hope this helps. BTW, welcome.

post #10 of 17
sfell, Hopefully he will come around! It used to bother me to have cat fur on me, because I never had cats when I was growing up. But, my husband's parents have a cat, and when I used to stay over when we were dating, I got used to it!! Now, our one cat,Cinnamon, sleeps on me sometimes! Give your fiance a chance... maybe start out with one animal and gradually increase?
post #11 of 17
Welcome to the site! and Congratulations on getting married soon!! :pinky:

Hmmm as for the cat situation, I would go along with everyone else!! hopefully he'll come round, but I also think its a good idea to compromise at first, let the cats around the house but as said before just don't let them on the counters etc when hes around, as for shutting them out of your room at night, stick with it - the sound of them whining and scratching on your door might make him see sense!!! :laughing2 :laughing: :LOL:
post #12 of 17
Welcome to The Cat Site! I hope that he comes around soon.. just hang in there and see what happens.. and please let us know if he ends up spoiling them more than you.. odds are.. he'll fall head over heels in love with em.

As for your name.. one of my best friends from school days had an aunt named Sabra. I didn't know her that well.. but she was a very beautiful, hardworking, respectable woman... and I used to say "when I grow up I want to be like her"

Also.. my mother lives in Houston, TX and I just moved from there May 31. I'm going back in august to visit her for her birthday. What part of Houston are ya from?

It's lovely meeting you and I look forward to reading more of your posts!

post #13 of 17
Thread Starter 
Cassandra_Star, to your question - I grew up in Humble, TX which is about 20 minutes from Houston. Thanks for your advice and everyone else thanks a bunch too!!!! This site is so great!!!

post #14 of 17
Wow Humble?!?!

Kiera.. (the girl that was my bestfriend in schooldays) her family spent time in Humble, Texas. Wow. You aren't her Aunt Sabra are you? :laughing:

post #15 of 17
Not sleeping with my furbaby - NO cat hair on the sheets - no tail in my face - no kneeding - unthinkable!!!

I am only speaking for myself BUT I think a compromise is in order from your intended. He seems like a good guy and I truely hope he sees the light. How about sneeking in one at a time and next thing he knows he is "out voted'!!

Best of luck and I an crossing my fingers
post #16 of 17
I know where your soon to be husband is comming from. See I was the one who grew up with dogs and no cats. When we moved in together it bothered me that his DHS shed so much. She is white so it shows on almost everything. I put up with her until our daughter was born. I said no cats in the baby's room or in our room. He was not happy but see he works midnight so it really did not make that big of a deal. This cat hates me anyway. Now I have 2 Siamese cats and one slept with me from the time he came home. I know I should not have let my cat sleep with me if his can't sleep with him. It only happened because we had limited space and had to seprate the cats so they could get used to eachother. The only place we had to put him was our bedroom. Since I moved this cat has stopped sleeping with me so we are back to no cats in the bedrooms. I will also be having a baby in september so I do not want the cat to sleep in the baby's crib. My husband has gotten used to me asking this of him and is ok with it.
post #17 of 17
sfell...I am SO glad you have joined us here!!!!And Congrats on your upcoming wedding!!!
My hubby was the same way.....he liked cats, but NOT in the house. So for the first 6 years of our marriage, I didn't have cats in the house. I live on a farm, so I have lots of room for cats outside.
He was okay with that.
He always said that cats in the house destroy the carpet, tear up the furniture, and shed all over....and he would not allow it.
But then a year ago.....Merlin came into our lives. he was born a wek after my father (Merle) passed away. It was such a rough time for me, and this kitten was abandoned when it was only 3 or 4 weeks old, so I think that's why he let me bring it into the house....he knew what a tough time I was going through.
I fed and loved my little Merlin....and he grew and grew.
My husband fell in love with him in the process.
He (Merlin) will lay on top of my husband, and sleep at night. My husband never says a word....because against his better beleifs.....he fell in love with Merlin.
So keep hope!!!! I now have one cat that is allowed indoors!!!! (other than the two babies I just found this weekend in the yard, and am bottle feeding. But they will go outside as soon as they are older.
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