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I took off that gorgeous ring tonight . . . . - Page 2

post #31 of 34
I am glad you are moving on , no matter what .
post #32 of 34
Viva, don't focus on the time that's been set down by Alex. Try to focus on you and do what you want to do. It's an opportunity to do things without having to consider another person's feelings/plans/schedule/opinions. It sounds like you haven't done that for a long time. You're allowed to be selfish. If you want to cry, then cry. If you want to scream in anger or frustrations, then scream. Feel like venting, then vent. If you want another cat, get one! Live your life. Make a schedule that suits you. Don't try to fit your life into someone else's schedule.

And while you're figuring out what you want to do, don't forget that there are people who do care about you and love you for who you are. Don't forget that you have family and friends that won't think twice about being there for you.
post #33 of 34
Viva, I'm so happy to hear that you aren't allowing youself to dwell and pity yourself. Just take it one day at a time, and do just what you are doing...keep busy, stay active. Of course, allow yourself to grieve too - that is important.

I have to disagree with what someone said, that personalities don't change after 16 or 17 years old. I am NOT that same person at all!! In fact, I've changed a lot in just the last couple of years. Sure, some of the basics remain - I'm honest sometimes to a fault, I have some of the same interests as I always have - but there is more different about me now at age 31 than the same when I was 16. But I really believe that when I finally found myself, my real self, was when I was single and by myself in the real world. I didn't have anyone else to answer to, so I was able to figure out what I wanted - whether that was what to do on a Friday night or what I wanted to do with my life. When you are in a relationship for a long time, it is so easy for you to take on personality traits of the other person. That is true with friends as well as significant others.

Once you get to know and like yourself, by youself, then you can truly be in a mutually respectful relationship. And when your personality changes as you mature, grow old, grow up, the person you are with can still respect you as they also mature, grow old, grow up. Just my opinion, though.
post #34 of 34
Viva- I am so sorry he hurt you. Try to look as this as a life lesson to make you stronger! You have your family and your friends to support and encourage you when you need it and don't be afraid to be sad and mad all at the same time!
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