Friend is devastated,

my best friend just lost her 15 yr old beloved cat named Chloe. Like me she has no children and her cats are truly her children( I feel the same way) and this loss has really hurt her heart and I know how bad it hurts. My concern is that she won't take any phone calls stating conversation will only bring tears. I have been sending emails and cards and leaving messages that there is no pressure to respond,. My question is when and how do I get her to
Share the pain she is obviously feeling, we have always talked out all of our joys and hurts and now being sort of cut off I worry she will later feel I'm not there for her. My friend is extremely sensitive about everything and the last thing I want is to offend her somehow.
Anyone have some advise?? Thank you.
3catnight

The poor thing... Everyone here will feel her pain. 

You can't make her share, but you could write (on a card, not an email) and tell her how sorry you are, how you're thinking of her and that you're really looking forward to hearing from her  when she feels she's able.  If there's something you could include that would make her feel better, then do that as well.

Thanks Mani,
I have sent some awesome sweet cards which she loved, I just feel badly for not being there with her at least for a visit. Some years back both of us had cats that passed at the same time it was unbelievablly painful, and I have lost 2 other cats since then ( heart disease) and I
Got through it with her support and others too. This time it is different and now she has a husband , I just realized this may be why, hope he is empathetic .

You are such a good friend to be concerned about her in this way.  I too have found it hard when support links have changed with partners coming and going, and it is hard to know what to do sometimes.  I think a card would be a lovely way to show you care about her, and to sensitively approach whether she has support without bustling in.   I'm sure she still needs you even though there is a husband in the picture now too, and she needs to know you're there when she's ready.   Everyone needs friends and good ones are precious.   

Well, you definitely are there for her. She isn't willing to speak right now, is all. That is her choice. Hopefully, her husband is providing some comfort and she will be able to express herself at some point.

I think you're doing great. Your approach of reaching out without being too in-your-face is, I think, the right one, under the circumstances.

There is no way to make her ready to share, or to accept your offer as a shoulder to lean on. She'll get there in her own time. Some people take a while to get there. Personally, I was crying into a drink with my bestie the same day, but that's me.

Keep on keeping on as you are, and I'm so sorry for both of your losses.

I think you are doing fine, just letting her know you are there when she is ready to talk is a tremendous help. I know I myself couldn't talk about my baby dying either, I would just burst into tears every time I heard her name. People and relatives did call and leave messages on my phone (which I cried through too) and that was much appreciated. There are some beautiful pet sympathy cards out there too you might send. Just know that she is going through a very rough time right now and it's going to be a while. Have her post on this site if she can, it does help to reach out to others. Good luck and thanks for being such a friend!

Thanks everyone for your support, I have posted twice but the submit claims I have already sent it and now I can't find it, so anyway I'll keep you posted
3catnight