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Because I'm a man (joke)

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in, and blame that problem on you to.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't, know where to start." We will then drink beer, and think about something naked.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart while drinking a beer despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to
put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator),but it was while watching something naked, oh and drinking a beer.

Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone, unless we ran out of beer? Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the hell could he know
where we're going? Are we out of beer?

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either cars, beer, or football, or something naked. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, and I don't have a beer or see something naked then I didn't.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it---looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? I'm out of beer.

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2003, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Oh can you get me a beer?

This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the Male!!!!!
post #2 of 9
post #3 of 9
post #4 of 9
How true! LOL!
post #5 of 9
Kellye. I got scared there, "Because I'm a man" LOL

I love this!
post #6 of 9
okay - so its all true - and your point is??????

Have just worked out for a while on my step thing, whilst doing this, I had a beer and thought about something ...........naked.

No worries about it here and how true is that thing on getting lost. I would rather freeze in hell than admit that am lost as my wife will tell you! Then whilst driving out of the problem and going whereever we are now going, I think about something ..........naked.

As far as colds are concerned, rubbish! when I get a cold - its worse than the plague. I dont get a cold - I get raging headaches, streaming eyes, pouring nose, throat that cannot swallow anything - children get colds, men get flu- women get on with it as I am told, however, Just to get my temperature up and sweat it out, I think about something .......naked.

Finally, as I am a man - when my wife asks that question "do I look good in this?" referring to the new dress, its always when I have a beer in my hand. I will always say yes, cause as soon as we get home from whereever we are going and its my wife... I have every intention of getting her n......

not naked - just knackered
post #7 of 9
post #8 of 9
Kiwideus! Kev!
post #9 of 9
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