Lost my baby boy georgie last week...sorry this is so long but i need to explain everything

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <woNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]

I am so heart broken and devastated...my sweet little Georgie left me last wed morning at 5:am..it is such a long story of he and I...he was born to my two indoor cats along with 3 other siblings on July (One did not survive the birth) he was about 5 weeks old when i noticed he would lean and then fall into a sitting position when he would stand or walk and was  a little concerned but thought he was just leaning how to be sturdy on his feet. The one day he was sitting on my couch perched at the end of the cushion looking down at the other kittens i have play..i thought he was too scared to jump down so i picked him up but he wasnt expecting me to and he freaked out, actually looked like he had a short seizure, but then he was fine but from then on he could not use his back legs to walk, he could move them and feel them but just not walk on them. He learned to scoot about the house using his front legs rather well  he did always seem to have a swollen belly though that never went away but never seemed to cause him any pain

From that day on I took total care of him putting him in a separate room to eat and only canned food as I noticed he had trouble going poop regularly and didn’t want him to have a hard time, I would bath him a few times a day because he was incontinent and he loved it especially when he got out and I would wash his face with a soft cloth, I played with him and held him all the time and he slept in the crook of my arm each night. He caught a cold and an eye infection 2 weeks ago and I was so worried about him, he wouldn’t eat so I fed him cream and baby food and water from a syringe. I had to wait 5 days to bring him to the vet bc I don’t have much money and have to wait until payday to do so…the   Thursday before I got paid he had just suddenly improved almost 100%..the cold was gone and his eye was no longer swollen, still infected but not swollen shut like it was and I had polysporin drops for him ..he got better and better day by day, even finally purred for me one day..he was scooting around the house and every time he heard me wake up (we would go to bed together but sometimes he would get down in the middle of the night to play with the other kittens) or come home from work he would “run” to me..omg telling this hurts so much I cannot believe he will never do this again….i adored him and he loved me I know it he would kiss me all the time and play with my fingers…last Tueday he didn’t want to eat in the morning and was cranky about taking a bath but I thought nothing of it, it seemed so innocent. Then I heard he still didn’t eat until later in the afternoon and then not much…when I got home he was just sitting in a corner of my room and didn’t seem to notice I was home, when I picked him up he had pooped  I gave him a bath (now here is where I mention that he had issues with pooping..he would go a few days not pooping then one day he’d poop a few times and this would repeat so this is why I wasn’t concerned about the pooping) and carried him around the house with me then gave him to one of my sons to care for while I showered then I noticed he pooped again so I washed him up and he and I went to bed Then about 330 am I woke up and saw he was awake but just laying there then he saw me and gave me his soft little meow and i picked him up and saw he was covered in poop like he had been going the whole night (here I should note that pooping was involuntary for him) I panicked and brought him to the bathroom to wash up ..he drank some water but would not eat even though he showed interest in things  that he loved like cheese and his old bottle..he got weaker and I was panicking big time cuddling and kissing him hoping and preying he’s be ok until I could get him to the vet before work…then all of a sudden he started to look like he had the hiccups but more like taking huge breaths and dry heaving…I was blowing gently in his face in case it was the hiccups and then he just died…I am hysterical all day and all night even at work I cannot calm down..i want to know what happened? How did he go from absolutely fine to having such an issue and dying?? He was 3 months old certainly old enough to stand all that pooping…I feel awful I miss him so much i cant get over it i am blaming myself why on earth did i not still take him to the vet that day??? They could have found out if he had in infection and gave him meds or something and he'd still be here..i need him back so back so bad he was my everything even in such a short time...i thought about him all day at work and called to check on him several times a day and spent all weekend with him making up for all the time i was at work during the week...he was the first thing I thought about in the morning and took care of him and looked forward to coming home from work and being with each night..this pain is terrible ..can anyone please tell me what they think could have happened to him? I should mention that as he got a bit bigger one leg was all the way out of the hip socket and you could see the ball joint and it seemed as if he had no pelvis..he never had any pain in the legs and could move them and did a lot but could not walk on them..please help me please [if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults v:ext="edit" spidmax="1026"/></xml><![endif][if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout v:ext="edit"> <o:idmap v:ext="edit" data="1"/> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]

My heart is breaking for you, I am so very very sorry you have to go through this. You did EVERYTHING you could for this poor baby, way above and beyond what was required. And most of all you gave him love and the most wonderful care. He sounds like he just had too much against him and may have been weakened from his cold. PLEASE know you did nothing wrong! It hurts so bad when they leave us, but you know he would never want you to be so sad. Mourn him as you should, but try to remember the good times and how much you two loved each other. I'll pray for you both, try to keep busy and love your others with all your heart. Take care of yourself, we'll help you all we can.   RIP beautiful little Georgie.  

thank you so much I keep going over and over all the things i should have done. I hope he know i adored him with everything I had..and thank you for the prayers they are so needed right now .
 

Forever Loving Georgie 

I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but your little Georgie was so lucky to have you and to be so loved and comforted in his life. And it sounds like he had a very happy life even though he was struggling with illness.

I don't know what happened to Georgie, but I have a friend who had a kitten die after losing control over his back legs and then he started to get sick. It turned out the kitten had FIP and there was nothing that could be done but give lots of comfort and love while he was here.

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <woNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]That’s what I have been afraid of since day one when I realized he had problems with his back legs bc everything that I looked up kept pointing to is but I kept disregarding it bc his parent were indoor cats (but I did rescue his mom from my vet she had been dropped off there 6 months prior to me getting her so I figured she was all vaccinated and safe) and his dad was one of kittens born in house….i guess there is no denying it though…thank you so much for your kind words everyone of you my heart feels lighter knowing so many people care

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you've given little Georgie the best care and love, but sometimes our babies are just too sick. I really don't think taking him to the vet earlier would have made much of a difference I hope you'll find some comfort in thinking he is at peace now and his short time with you was blessed with so much love. Hugs, take care!

i am really trying to take comfort in that and that he would never have been happy not being able to walk and he is better now ..but with today being the 1 week since i lost him i am hysterical ...i cant think i cant eat i wish i had spent more time with him done more things with him i miss him so much i am in incredible pain i want to hold and kiss him again...but thank you so much for the kind words

but thats why this is so hard ...on monday he wasnt sick...i mean he wasnt great he was still getting over an eye infection and he couldnt walk on his back legs but he wasnt sick...he had diarrhea on tues annd was was dead by 5 am wed morning..he was never sick that i thought he'd be gone from my life..unless i was missing all the signs but he was happy even kissing me playing with me then he left me...i know he always had a bit of a swollen belly but he was a baby

 

I'm very sorry for your loss. The poor little mite didn't have much time on this earth. RIP, Georgie.

does anyone think that Georgie's spirit is stuck here? That he is this poor little spirit kitten that I can't see or hear ( he never meowed with sound he was a soft meower) and he is follwing me around wondering why i am ignoring him? why i dont pick him up and hold him? I hope not i really really hope not i hope he is running free somewhere time stands still so when i get there it seems like i was just at work and i finally came home to get hm like eveyrday....can anyone please tell me what they think? I hope i can put my brain at rest on this

I want to thank everyone here for all of their kind words and support and prayers and for putting up with me these past few days. My heart is just so heavy and missing Georgie is the hardest thing I have ever had to get past...i know i really should now turn my focus back on to my senior cat Squiggly now that i am no longer fully dialed into Georgie..i really love all of you for everything you said to help me...and Georgie mommy loves you so much

No, I think he is WHOLE, and running and playing on all FOUR legs at the rainbow bridge with all our loved lost kitties   I know you are blaming yourself somehow, and that's why your mind is torturing you so, but Georgie had something wrong from almost the beginning, and we'll never know exactly what it was.  All we know is that you loved him as he was, and he knew that too .

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's so hard when they can't tell us what's wrong and you beat yourself up about "what could I have done?"  It sounds like the poor baby was really sick and you couldn't have made a difference.  When cats get sick, they do so REALLY quickly and often there is nothing to be done.

Please don't beat yourself up.  Just grieve the little guy and then focus your attention on your other little one.  Lots of hugs!  xoxox

I agree with mrsgreenjeans. Georgie is whole and free and is happy where he has moved on to because he was so wonderfully loved in his life here. Those feelings you are having are a part of grieving and the guilt you feel. Georgie will always be in your heart. Always hold him there and he will always know he is loved.

My experience is that the love, attention, and analysis after the fact is the proof that you loved the beautiful kitten. You gave this little creature attention he would not have received from about 99 percent of people out there, with his physical ailments. Feel good for the brief love you experienced with this little live creature. It hurts so much, for many of us, and for such a youngin' it is so painful to see something so young, go so fast. Trust that the thoughts of him are the proof that you did what you knew to do... I lost my cat a month and a half ago, she was much older, but I still felt like I didn't do it right... death comes early sometimes, even to humans... life happens in all sorts of ways, and that means death happens in all sorts of ways. It sounds like you love cats a lot, you have a family of them. Keep on loving your beautiful cat creatures, and turn the loss of this little one into more love for all cats you encounter. Your pain is proof that you did what you could!

thank you so much i just wish this would get easier and these thought would stop...i loved him so much and not having taken him to the vet is killing me inside..as well as thinking i should have spent more time with him while he was alive instead of so much time crying for him now that its too late i didnt do allthe things i should have

how do i celebrate Georgies life? I am not sure how to do that....and should i still talkt o him where i burried him?

I'm so sorry for your loss. Georgie sounded like a truly special little guy. I know your playing the 'what if's' over in your mind and I'm sure I would do the same. But there is no way of knowing if the vet could have helped Georgie. The vet might have put him through medical tests and unnecessary stress without success. It sounds like Georgie had a few problems and, sadly, nature ran it's course. But I'm certain that you helped him by keeping him safe and comfortable. You did the very best you could and thanks to you, Georgie knew love and happiness. There will always be 'should haves' but that's just how our minds torture us because we miss our loved one so much. It will get easier, it just takes time and a lot of tears in the meantime

My heart is breaking for you, Georgie was truly a beautiful soul. Why does something so good have to end? I'll pray for this tiny baby, and for you, who gave this little one such good care and love. Keep busy, and celebrate the love you two had, it is a rare thing.