A Perfect Cat... Kuro <3

I want to tell you about Kuro, I want the whole world to know how perfect she was.

Kuro (it means black in Japanese) had a tuxedo, short and fur-like hair, a unique black spot on her nose and lips like she sniffed some ink and the cutest eyes I'd ever seen. She was about 6 months old.

And she passed away of liver failure on October 30, 2013. Just two days ago.

I don't want to get into details because it's painful, really painful for me to do so. I want her known and remembered as the lively, energetic and playful cat she was when she first came to us.

I share a room with my sister and her cats, they were 9 in total with Kuro, they may not be my cats but I live with them.

My sister got Kuro on 14th of June, she was the eighth cat to join us. My sister said she had felt a connection when she first saw her and she had to get her and I felt the same, like she was meant to live with us because she brought so much joy and happiness. I'm not even exaggerating.

I'm a little bit glad because on her last day I had told her goodbye before I left to university, I didn't know she was dying but I had told her I loved her, I wasn't with her when she passed away but I made sure I buried her myself.

It hurts so bad, knowing that she isn't here anymore. That she won't play around me when I workout or try to jump on the treadmill's screen to get to me, that she won't be there meowing when I give the other cats food.

I miss her, she ate, drank and slept with me, she woke me up on most days, she liked to sit on my forearm while I walked her around, she used to open the drawer of my nightstand to get all their toys out.

She was the only cat I'd look for before I sleep or when I wake up in the middle of the night, I'd look for her white paws because they were the only parts of her body to show in the dim light, sometimes I'd feel the floor around like a blind person to get her, when I think back now, I must've looked ridiculous to her when I did that *faint smile*

During the day it's all good, people and chores distract me. Staying out of the room is also a good way to try and be normal. The problem is when I go in my room to sleep and I have my mind and thoughts to my own, when I think and realize she is gone. I'm struggling with the emptiness she left behind, if I'm not crying I'm feeling sad, empty and zoned out..

The first night I couldn't sleep, I forced myself but then I dreamt that she came back, I awoke after three hours while convincing myself that it's real life, and that in reality the dead won't come back. 

It took me three hours to write this, through the tears and the zoning-out moments, and I still feel like I have more to write. She may have stayed with us for only five months but she affected me way deeper than that, because she was so different it was special.

I wish I could still communicate with her, tell her that I love and miss her, I hugged her one last time before burying her and I get some comfort remembering that hug whenever it becomes too much to bear.

I don't wonder why she passed away nor do I feel like she was too young, no one's too young to die and that applies to cats too. I also believe that her passing was meant to be, even though I could see that we had chances to make it better, but the way things are now I believe it was out of our control.

I just truly love and miss her <33

Thank you for reading and taking away a bit of the pain, I haven't shared this with my friends because I'm not yet ready but writing it down helped.

I'm so, so sorry you have to go through this, I know the sorrow and anguish you are feeling. I, too, feel those terrible thoughts and emotions returning when I lay in bed. I have to get my mind on something else, but it is so hard to do. It does help to share your sorrow with others, it helps in the grieving process that we all must go through, some stages again and again. We hurt so bad because we loved so much. We miss our babies and there is a terrible void in our heats that takes a long time to heal. But also in your heart is that little place where Kuro will live forever, protected and happy, until you meet again at the Rainbow Bridge. Please share your sorrow with us, we'll try to help you and in the process maybe help ourselves. RIP beautiful Kuro!

My condolences - no matter how long or short a time they're with us, their loss causes acute pain. You can still talk to her, even though more hugs and pats will have to be in your dreams. She sounds like she was a remarkable little cat. RIP, Kuro.

I'm sorry you lost your little girl.

I've lost young cats as well and it's all the more painful because you only had such a short time with them.

Be grateful for every moment that you spent together and for the fact that you had the good fortune to be such a huge part of her life. You must have meant as much to her as she did to you.

Sleep peacefully, Little Kuro.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your kitty. She sounds like she was an extraordinary cat. I know her little life was short, but is sounds like your life was blessed because of her. I've lost quite a few cats in my lifetime. I loved everyone of them. Some hurt more than others. We do understand what you're going through. When you get ready to talk about it you'll find lots of support here. Rest In Peace Kuro.

Poor baby, she was far too young to cross. But know that Kuro is safe at  the bridge now 

Kuro