(Help) Adopting A Potential Stray/Feral

Hello Folks,

Made an account just to ask this question, and thanks in advance for any help you can offer.

I'm going to give you folks full details, so heads up for a long post.  Gonna organize it in order of the events that have happened over the last few days. If it's too long skip to the 'The Issue' section for my specific questions.

Day 0: 

My girlfriend and I were out walking and saw a ragged-looking gray cat out prowling our neighborhood in North Carolina. This creature had clearly been outside for a long time, and was hungry. We didn't see it again, but it was near to our house so we left out a can of tuna to try and attract it + give it something to eat. 

Day 1: 

We put the tuna out the morning after we saw the cat, and later that afternoon the tuna was gone. That night we put out another can of tuna, and as I was working upstairs my girlfriend called up to me because outside there was a beautiful big (not fat, just large) golden-brown cat eating the tuna in our drive way. This was not the same cat we saw outside the previous day.

My gf had brought him (we think it's male) a bowl of water and had managed to get reasonably close to him while doing so. After I came down we brought out some cat treats and sat a few feet away from him while he ate and drank. While he was eating the tuna he purred so loudly -the loudest I've ever heard a cat purr - which makes me think he was happy for the food. That night he ate two whole cans of tuna and drank a bunch  of water, which makes me think he had been on his own for a while.  He even ate a treat out of my gf's hand!  He let me sit with her while he ate his food, but when I got up to get more treats and came back, he ran away into the neighbor's yard 

Day 2-Day 5: (Today)

We put out food every morning at 7:30 and at the afternoon around 4pm. The cat seems to come back periodically to eat because by noon the morning food is gone and the evening food gets eaten between 4:00pm and 8:00pm. We have seen the same golden brown cat come back each day at least at night.  We have been putting the food right outside our back door on our back porch, and the cat has no problem coming right up the back steps and eating off our porch so long as we aren't looking. Last night there was food out on the back porch as always (to get out there we have two doors, a screen and a solid wooden one) and as i was cooking dinner my gf wandered toward the door and saw the cat at the top of the stairs. The second the cat saw her it turned around and ran to lurk at the bottom of our porh stairs.

The Issues: 

We want to adopt this cat as our outdoor cat, and maybe move it to an indoor cat eventually, but we are not sure how to win its trust. The first night it seemed quite willing to let us be near it and it was brave enough to come near our house. Now it seems more jittery and scared of us.

Why do you think this change happened? We believe that the cat doesn't yet understand that we're giving it the food, but it thinks it's stealing it. Maybe it thinks that when we go to be present as it eats we're going to challenge it/shoo it away, which isn't the case. we just want to love it and earn its trust. 

We have tried leaving the screen door closed but the back wooden door open so we can see out, but it hasn't worked. Last night I took some used shirts of mine (one from the gym and one i've worn a couple times this week) and hung them on the railing near the food bowl, and the food got eaten. This morning I put one of those shirts in a pile behind the food bowl and the food got eaten. I want the cat to associate my smell w/ food.  We were also considering getting a ComfortZone plug and plugging it in in our kitchen w/ the screen open so the cat feels more welcome, but we're afraid the cat will think it's another cat being territorial. Are these good ideas? What do you think? Any other helpful suggestions on earning this cat's trust?

Also, we are not sure if it is feral, stray, a neighborhood outdoor cat, or a lost cat. It doesn't wear a collar and seems quite afraid of people (aka us) except on that first night. If it's someone's pet with a microchip, we don't want the family to worry any longer, but if it's a stray/feral we don't want to traumatize it and make it hate us by trapping it. 

What do you folks think? Any and all ideas and suggestions are helpful.

Thanks in advance,

Shake

First, thank you for taking care of this cat.
For now, I'd just keep on feeding it at regular times morning and evening. Put it down at a certain time, check to see if it's eaten by the time you go to bed/work, and then take it up. I'd do this for several reasons: you don't want to be feeding racoons and you want to make sure the cat(s) get use to you feeding them. You can leave out water 24x7.
Putting out a smelly t-shirt is a great idea; you can even put it under the food bowl. And yes you could use Feliway, but I'm not sure what you mean about territorial issues: do you have a cat of your own, or are you referring to the ragged looking grey cat? If it gets cold in NC, you could consider building a small winter shelter.
If you see the cat eating:
If inside, just observe. Don't stare at him; he takes that as a threat. (Stare at their ears; within your Peripheral vision, you can observe his movements.)
If you happen to be outside and you see him eat and he sees you: sit down where you are, or even back away a little. He may still run, but it's a start.
The golden-brown cat: I gather he isn't skinny, which can mean a number of things: been on the streets for a long time and knows where to get food; or he is a she and is pregnant. If he appears well groomed, then he may be an indoor/outdoor cat. The skinny one you mentioned could be recently abandoned or sick.
You could look on PetFinder, put up notices around your block and/or ask your neighbors if the cats belong to anyone.
Here is an article about socializing feral kitttens. While the cats in question don't seem to be kittens, the principles are the same. And, if you read some of the other posts on this Forum, you'll learn that older feral cats can indeed be socialized. Patience is the Key here. And lots of it.

Thank you for helping! The grey cat doesn't sound feral - he would have not let you near him if he was. He's probably a lost or abandoned pet. As Ritz said, keep to a schedule. Also, please buy some wet cat food. Tuna has a lot of mercury in it that isn't good for cats.

Mix it up a little to determined which kind really tempts him. You can use that when you get ready to trap him/get him in a carrier.

Hey folks,

First of all, thanks for you all for your quick responses. 

I think I need to clarify somethings: Grey cat was just an introduction to why we had tuna in our yard in the first place. We haven't seen grey cat since the first day, and as far as I know has wandered off to some other part of town. There is only one cat in the picture: Golden-Brown Cat (GBC).

GBC is the cat that let us come near him the first night while ate, and has continued to appear on our porch every night since to take food. He has become more skittish since the first night, which is weird. The fact that he tolerated  us the first night then got more skittish makes me think he's a stray/feral cat who was desperate to eat.

@Ondine  We've switched to wet cat food, don't worry. Also thanks for the advice, I just got more today that was different kinds, so hopefully he responds. 

 @Ritz  I've bee regular about morning feeding (7:30am pretty much on the dot) and decent about pm feeding, but I don't see GBC out there when I put it down. Does the cat need to see me put the food down for this to work? As I said I think the kitty thinks it's stealing from us, and I want it to know we're giving the the food freely.  I will make a point to take it up before bedtime but leave water out. 

It's not that GBC is fat/pregnant looking, he just looks large. In the same way that you'd call a 6'6 person who was proportional 'big.'  He didn't necessarily look "well groomed" he was more "not patchy and skinny looking." Our plan, if we ever trap him, is to take to a vet ASAP and check for a chip and sicknesses. 

I also took your advice and put the food on top of the shirt. I also bought some catnip from the store where I bought the cat food and put some in a sock out there and also sprinkled some around on the porch. Is this also a good idea, or will this just confuse/overwhelm his nose?

About Feliway: As I understand it it mimics cat facial pheromone. I want the cat to settle down and feel welcome, but the concern would be that he would mistake the facial pheromone for another cat and get aggressive/agitated instead of calm. We don't have any cats, but I am worried the Feliway would make him think we do. 

Until I see him eating, I'll read that article and see if anyone has lost him.

Thanks again for your help now and in the future,

Shake

No, the cat doesn't need to see you put down the food, though it doesn't hurt: he'll quick realize that *that* house is the one that gives him food. (I fed a feral/stray cat colony twice a day for two years. I moved a year ago, feed them on the weekends only. The cats still recognize me and the sound of the engine.)
I'm not sure about the catnip, but my inclination would be not to. Some cats react to catnip, some don't. When the time comes, you could put some catnip in the wet food/bait (it is completely edible).
Feliway is 'neutral' in mimicing facial pheromone; he won't mistake it for another cat.
What do you mean by "As I said I think the kitty thinks it's stealing from us, and I want it to know we're giving the the food freely." I don't believe cats think that way.

Maybe I'm wrong about how the cat thinks. I've never had a cat before, but my gf grew up with them. I just saw went to the door by chance, opened it, and there he was having scurried down the stairs (like clock work, this cat.)

Having gotten a good look at him in the day light, he seems healthy but maybe not well groomed. He had a lot of hair, but his coat seemed to be in tact. I had put the cat nip out and it clearly didn't stop him from going on our porch and eating but I don't know if it affected him. 

This time, when he saw me open the door he looked up at me. I looked at him for a second then remember to look away (I was talking on the phone to my dad), but I quickly looked away by looking up and then turned and walked away from the door leaving it open. So... progress? 

I'm sitting with the wood door open and screen shut working so he can maybe come back and get used to me. 

Yes, progress. Little steps lead to slightly bigger steps.
Cats live very much in the moment.
And have relatively short-term memories unless something traumatic happens to them.
Excellent idea about leaving the wood door open. If he does come closer, kind of ignore him. You can say softly "hi there" (cats have really good hearing), but at this point in time/socializing process, don't make any sudden moves.
You can also play soft music, cats seem to like harp, but any soft music is fine.

So, great news!! 

Where we are was rainy and gross today, so the cat did not eat the morning food (which made me think it either a) has a home or b) was hiding out). At night, though, I went to the back door and opened it to see the cat sprinting down to the bottom of the stairs where it looked up at me and I looked away, occasionally looking back and blinking. After a minute it retreated under my car and waited. 

Seeing the opportunity, I walked down to the bottom of the stairs with the food bowl and put it a few feet from the bumper. After that I sat a few feet up talking softly in a high pitched voice - "hi there!" and other things - and did some tutting. Eventually, after some time, the beautiful cat (and it was GBC) made a sound that sounded like a mix between a chatter and a meow (if i had to mimic it in type, it would be "m-m-meow"). It made this sound several times and then it cautiously it came out and ate until the bowl was empty. Do you folks have any experience with that sound or a sound like it? What does it mean?

Then the following would happen several times: 1) I would go down and partially refill the bowl 2) it would make that chatter-meow sound, sometimes a few full-on meows. 3) I would move back to the stairs (each time closer than the last. 4) The cat would come out cautiously (sometimes still make a few small meows) and eat. 

The last time through  I was sitting arms length from the cat while it ate and it didn't seem afraid at all. It didn't bump my hand (I held it out in a fist), but it didn't run away. I heard it purring loudly, too. While I was sitting there I noticed that along the back of its neck there were some patches where fur wasn't growing. It looked like it could have been mange, but it also could have been mating/fighting scars. Aside from that the coat seemed good, but maybe not "well groomed." 

Also, when I was sitting a little hunched. Once I relaxed back the cat's tail shot right up, it finished the food, then walked tail-up back under my car and wouldn't come back. I'm guessing it was just not hungry, but seemed quite happy.

Anyway, I am so happy! It talked to me!  What do you folks make this? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks,

Shake

Tail up is a good sign. It is something cats do when calm and relaxed.

Talking is a good sign, too.  It means the cat has been socialized at some point.  He's trying to communicate with you - with the hesitant "meows" and the tail up.

I would continue the routine - sitting and talking to him while he eats is great.  At some point, you are going to have to trap him to get him to the vet.  The damage on his neck might get infected and if his coat is disheveled, it tells me he doesn't have a safe place to groom himself.  If he has long hair, it will soon mat and pull away from the skin, which causes terrible wounds and is really painful.

In any case, decide how you're going to capture him.  You can buy or borrow a humane trap.  Tie it open and start feeding him in it.  Get him used to eating in the trap and then set the trap the night before his appointment.  It will be traumatic but way better than life on the streets.

If you decide not to use a trap, you still have to get to the point where you can pick him up to get him in a carrier, which is traumatic in itself.

Thank you for helping him!

We didn't see the cat last night. There was some construction in our neighborhood and we didn't put new food out (we just left out the previous day's food), but we're still worried. We're staying optimistic but we're worried about the cat. 

We'll keep you posted.

Best,

Shake

Massive Update:

1) The cat is most definitely a girl, or, at the very least, it is not an in-tact male.

2) After not seeing the stray for a few days (around 4 or 5), it finally showed up at night again on our back porch. This time, it was extremely affectionate.

I walked down to the bottom of our porch stairs, and set the food out, while extending my hand in a fist. The cat came over and rubbed/bumped her head on my hand before  going to eat the food. After it had finished eating it continued to meow at me until I sat down, draped a t-shirt in my lap, and let it climb into my lap. It's getting cold where we are (around 40F) and the cat is rail-thin (you can feel her hip bones pretty prominently), so it's no surprise she needed some warmth. She climbed on my lap and kneaded my lap and suckled on my sweatshirt. Because it was so cold, we decided to bring her inside. 

She let us pick her up without any trouble, and only started to resist once we got inside the house. She's now hanging out in our emptied dining room with a litter box (half covered in dirt, the other half in litter), a food bowl, and a water bowl, hard wood floors and room to explore. 

She's got a patchy coat and obvious flea bites. We've given her one dose of topical flea medication (and she seems to be handling it fine). She meows for our attention and seems to calm down when she has a hand petting her or a lap to crawl into. She is also smart and curious, and I think really wants to explore our house. 

We have a vet appointment tomorrow. 

The question, then, is this:

Given that this is a female cat that disappeared for a few days then came back, is it possible that it went and had a litter?

I know winter kittens are less likely, and we didn't get a good enough look at the cat to begin with to tell if she lost a lot of size. Also, she doesn't seem at all stressed. She has a tail up, and meows at us when we're around (we're assuming this is because of flea discomfort and/or being confused by strange new surroundings). I imagine she wants to go back outside because inside is strange, but she does not seem desperate to get back to kittens, if she has them. She does not appear to have any post-natal discharge and we tend to think that in her current shape she wouldn't have come through birthing a litter well to be how she is. 

We don't think she had a litter, but is there any way to tell for sure? If you folks do think she had a litter, where should we check for the kittens? Are there places that cats tend to give birth? How far away should we look? 

I've heard stories of fed strays bringing kittens to the people that care for them, and she seems to like us. We don't want to take her away from kittens in need, but if she didn't have kittens, we don't want to let her back out into the world and have her be scared of us and our house as winter comes in. 

We appreciate any and all help. Thanks in advance. 

Best,

Shake

What a wonderful update.
I am by no means an expert about pregnancy, but regarding whether the cat has had a litter: are her nipples big? Any discharge from them?
Given how thin she is, it is unlikely she could have carried the kittens to term.
The vet should be able to determine quickly if she has had kittens (could you get in to the vets today or first thing tomorrow morning).
Actually, some of her behavior leads me to think she might be in heat; females get very affectionate when they are in heat. (Males on the other hand spray.)

She's going to the vet tomorrow at 12:15pm . We'll see what happens. 

She has some loose skin hanging off her belly, but we can't tell if that's because of kittens (either to term or miscarried + then reabsorbed by the body) or lack of nutrition. 

Anyway, we're happy to have her around. She seems like an extremely calm cat, though. Perhaps less vocal than we're seeing now if she's in heat.