Unfriendly feral

Just after last Christmas, two kittens appeared under a shed in the garden.  We live on a farm and this is not the first time someone has dumped a kitten here, but these were very young.  We managed to catch them, both females, and brought them indoors where they stayed in a cage for a few weeks and then we gradually introduced them to our two resident oldies.

One of them was immediately at home and has become a loving, if rather demanding companion but the other, Toni, remains defensive and suspicious and will not allow us to even touch her.  One year later she is no nearer being tamed.  I've tried pheremones, special food treats, everything I can think of but she won't even sniff my hand.  They all have access to outdoors and in summer spend most of the day sleeping in the sun, now they tend to stay in the house, they seem happy but little Toni remains afraid and distrustful.

Where have we gone wrong?

What can we try, or shall we resign ourselves to the fact that she'll never be truly tame although she knows where to come for a good meal.

I wouldn't give up hope, but she may never be a warm and snuggly lap kitty!  There are some great Youtube videos on socializing ferals.  I watched one that was for kittens even though my feral was almost a year old when I started working with him.  I think with ferals it's always a work in progress.  I will add a few things that I tried:

1.  Feral cat Rehab from Spirit Essences.  It worked wonders on Shadow and also on the 3 other strays/ferals that found their way to me. 

2.  Lots of play time.  I started with a feather wand.  Some days he would only watch it, but day by day he would start to bat at it.  Once he was fully engaged, I started to touch him with the feather.  At first he was freaked out, but then he started to realize that it wasn't going to hurt him.  I would "pet" him with the wand.  Once was comfortable with the wand/feather, I started pulling the wand towards me so that it was no my hand and not the wand.  He didn't even realize.  I started with a few quick touches and before the end of that week, I was petting him all over.  Now, he was still skittish, but he so loved the pets.  Next I introduced a brush.  He loved that one too.

3.  Gerber Stage 1 Chicken or Turkey baby food.  Not sure what you have that is equivalent in the UK, but you want baby food that is only meat and water.  No added fillers or salt.  Cats just love it.  You can put some on a plate and give a small amount so that she gets to know how delicious it is, then move to putting it on a spoon and offering it to her.  Next move to putting some on your fingers.  Never underestimate the power of food.  This is not to replace her regular food, just to use for training.  I also used plain cooked turkey or chicken. 

4.  Keep the sessions with her short so to not overwhelm her.  You want to end on a positive note before she gets too stressed. 

5.  Building her confidence is key too.  I have used the Da Bird toy and well as Neko flies.  Let her chase and catch the toy.  Then reward her at the end.  Have you ever watched Animal Planets, "My Cat from Hell" with Jackson Galaxy?  He has great tips for working with difficult cats.  He always says to use Eat, Play, Love. 

I think when working with ferals, it's a life time of ups and downs.  They move to their own agenda.  You never know what can set them off and then set them backwards.  My feral, Shadow is always a work in progress, but after 3 years together he will now even sit in my lap! 

Hope this helps!

I have two former ferals - brought inside at six months old.  One has a room to herself, as she hates all our other cats and there would be no peace otherwise.  In the six years we've had them, she has come the farthest.  She likes being petted now but only on her terms.  After five minutes or so, she gives us an annoyed "brrpp" and indicates we may leave.

Chester, her brother (the kitty in my avatar) is out with the others but still only allows very short (like seconds long) head scritches.  He is a sweet kitty but still acts like we're going to barbeque and eat him.  We've resigned ourselves to the fact that he is safe and happy.  BTW - my grand daughter was here for the summer and did not see him until August.  She was so delighted when he allowed her to pet him - for a nansecond - before he ran and hid again.

Your Toni may just be the type who doesn't warm up to humans, even though she's savvy enough to know where her food comes from.  I would allow her to be herself.  You never know, after a few years, she may grace you with permission to pet her!

Keep up the good work!