In memory of all the animals who've blessed my life

It's so hard for us who love our animals, whos' lives are much shorter than ours, when we have to say the final goodbye. Each friend we loose along our lives is another piece of heart break. But we love them, and give them all the comfort we can while they are with us.

They give us so much more. Love, undieing love, even when we don't feel as if we deserve it, faithfulness, through all trials and troubles, laughter, when they play, or sit on the step we are just going to put our foot on, and comfort, as I am sure they know when we are down, and we get that extra little rub against our legs, or a lap nice and warm, with their soft fur.

Animals are those for whom Paradise was made, humans may sometimes gain the right to join them over the Rainbow Bridge.

Animals seem to know, in old age or illness, when it's time for them to go. We comfort them in their final hours if we"re lucky, and think in tears, of the happy times we've spent together.

I hope I merit the honor to rejoin the animals I've loved and lived with for their too short lives, when I too sleep for the last time.

I still cry when I think of them all. In 55 years I've known a lot of animals, and all are part of my life and my heart. Souls that gave so much, and had in return the best I could offer them, at least in love and gentleness. They always will be part of my life, while I'm capable to give them the care they need.  I admit I prefer my animals friends to many two legged beings I know.

For Pirate, Canelle, Star, Negus, Pins, Pandorra, Loki, Dartagnan, Tickles, Wikki, Caleche, Coutie, Alf, Flippy, Brandy, and the other friends who passed a moment with me... I'll look for you all, over the Rainbow Bridge if I have the honor to arrive their.                             

That was very touching and I agree with what you had to say about our animals along the path of life. I gained the privilege along the winding roads, to meet up with some pretty special friends. Its so hard in the world we live in because of rules to own pets, when you live in certain areas. I happen to be a person that was not lucky enough to have a lot of funds coming my way and have lived in harsh places that didn't allow them.

What comes to mind for me was many years ago.  I was around the age of 15 or 16. I was an awkward teenager with few friends. I was shy and lonesome. I had a lot of pain growing up with bullying being a big issue for me then. My life was tormented for years to come. I lived with my grandmother, which in the end, turned out to be a blessing one could say. She saved me from what could of been a complete useless and shattered life. We always moved around a lot. She would move from one of her adult kids to the next. Nothing was settled or calm in the homes we lived. Around this age of 15 or so, my grandmother had a daughter in New Jersey that had a dog. He was half Rat Terrier/Chihuahua. His name was Chico. Her husband did not like him. This ugly man broke something in Chico's ear causing it to just dangle. I was upset cause it was not known what else could of happened. My aunt asked my grandmother did she want to take him for me. Well, it turns out that we did take him, and with me, he flourished amazingly. He was my partner in crime. I use to dress him up in his coat in winter, and he would ride around with me when I got my license to drive. He tagged along everywhere with me. He loved to ride in cars.  Well, as ugly fate would have its way, we had to move and we had to move into an apartment that did not allow pets. We worked it or I should say my grandmother worked it so that one of her daughters would take Chico, and he would be company for her dying husband who had cancer. The day that they arrived to pick Chico up was the worse day of my young life. Chico left not knowing what a life saver he was. He was my strength. He had the spirit of a Pit Bull and the bark of a German Sheppard and I would always laugh at how he would bark and show teeth when someone came around me. Well, on this day, I got his coat and his toys together. They showed up to pick him up, and when they were ready to leave, I opened the back door to the car, and Chico jumped right in the car. I was crying so feverishly that I could hardly see out my eyes. When that back door slammed shut, and he realized we were not going with him, he stood up in the back seat clawing at that window trying to get back out to us. I ran so hard as my body would take me, back to the home, and threw my body onto the sofa, and laid there and cried and cried and cried. I laid there so much I couldn't move. I laid around for that week on the sofa and still cried. They did come to visit us, and on that first visit Chico walked in the door,  he remembered me and he ran to me, and twirled around in circles, and ran through the room and back to me again, and jumped up on me and I held him, and he made whining sounds and was excited beyond belief. I, myself, was pretty excited too. They left after that and it would be my last time ever of seeing Chico. My aunts husband would go on to die from his cancer and my aunt then living alone had to find a place for Chico. She was unable to care for him herself as he was her husbands dog. Anyway, what broke my heart was to learn that Chico ended up right where he had started. Back in New Jersey with that mean man that did not like him, and was the reason of them giving him to us. He escaped out the yard once, and his collar was still on his neck with our contact information on it. We lived in another state. Virginia. Well, a man found Chico and called us and said, I found your dog.  My grandmother told him that he had been given to my aunt in New Jersey, and gave him the address. He said 'oh, well she lives right around the corner' and took him back to them.  Chico would go on to escape one more time, and his adorable little self was never seen nor heard from ever again.  OHHH Chico ...The memories and pain.

Years later I moved into my own place. As usual, again a NO PETS policy in effect. All we were allowed at that time was fish and or a bird. Well, I entertained the idea of both and did eventually wind up with a 10 gallon aquarium and a beautiful male cockatiel that I named RAVEN. He was quit the character!  That bird had personality, and he became my shadow. He always craved attention, and I let him out of his cage a lot, and he would fly and land right on my shoulder and stay for hours. He taught himself to talk pretty much besides the phrase that I taught him. I had him saying, 'whats ya doing? whats ya doing?  over and over he would say that. He learned to make the sound of me brushing my teeth. His ole body bouncing up and down as he churned out that teeth brushing sound. He made the sound of the hall closet opening up. He made the sound of the blinds being raised. It always had this weird squeak. Years back when a popular commercial was on television about pita bread, I would later hear where he taught himself to say , 'eat a pita' eat a pita'.... I couldn't laugh any harder.  Raven would often times go into the bedroom with me where he would lie in the sink of my chest and fall asleep. We often took naps together like that . He always loved to nestle in his favorite spot on my body and off to dream land we would go.  Once, upon one of those times we fell out together, I woke up and he was not on my chest area . He was no where. I called out to him. No sound. Nothing. Door was shut I knew he couldn't get out. Quiet  panic broke out in my heart.. I screamed out loud OH MY GOD NO!! I raised my body upward where I could reach underneath me and to my horror, there he was. Underneath my body and he was dead. To this day, I never really figured out how he got underneath me,  as we fell asleep the same way we always did. I was on my back and I had a small twin sized bed at that time and never turned over or nothing. But there he was. My friend of 8 years gone that quickly! I still remember the nice elderly woman upstairs that turned out to be my good friend for 20 years before she died suddenly in 2002. Anyway, I ran up to her place .. Knocked on her door frantically. In shock, she answered the door and I was crying uncontrollably .. She said 'what is wrong, something happen to your granny'?  I cried, NO, I killed my bird Raven. She was kind enough to take a tissue box she had there, and go down to my apartment and place his body inside the box. I would later take his remains over to my grandmothers home, and buried him in the back yard.  I blamed myself over and over for his death. All I have today is memories and pictures. He lives forever in my quiet resting place in my mind.

Time would march on. I suffered from great depression. Have since my early stages of life when I dealt with the bullies and the unkind treatment I suffered at the hands of others. It was in one of those meetings with a therapist, that I was in such grief, being held by the grips of unrelenting depression.  She would ask me what is it that would make you happy right about now?  My answer to her was 'if only I could at least have a pet or something! Something I could love and have it love me back. But NOOOOO... living where I did, and having the no pets policy just made me very angry!  It still does today....Here we have millions of animals with a shortage of homes for them because everywhere you live, unless you are one of the fortunate ones that can buy your own home, are just without any recourse at all. They cry out , ADOPT!! But how does one, when everywhere says no pets??  Anyway, she went on to write a letter for me and mailed it to my landlord. She expressed in the letter the many benefits of pet ownership, and how I would benefit greatly from having a pet around, as my social circle was nearly extinct. It was worth a try I told her.  Not long afterwards, that therapist called me up, and left a message on the machine. She said give me a call, I have something to tell you. So I did and she said well, I talked to your landlord, and she told me that you could have a pet!  I shouted into the phone, WHAT? OMG. What great news!!!  My spirits lifted, and I cleaned up my place real good, and I went out and looked around at the pets for adoption on Saturdays at the local pet smart.  Well, I found the most rambunctious cat and he was 8 months old. I went on to name him Chad. I tell the story of Chad in this forum too. Chad was my first ever cat. To be honest, I never really use to like cats. I had unfavorable opinions of cats, and was not a big fan. Well, soon, all that changed and my heart swelled with great happiness at my new fur family member. That was 2001. I was so excited too that my elderly neighbor friend got to meet him before her death. She took a liking to him as well. I let her baby sit him a few times. She loved that. When we talked on the phone, she would always ask, what is our boy doing? Life was good. Then in 2002, my friend upstairs died from a sudden heart attack. I watched as they brought her body out on a gurney. I wept so hard at seeing her taken out like that. She was a good friend to me and she considered herself as granny number 2. Well, time marches on and through all the years of gladness of having Chad grace my life with his black and white presence, it would be 2012 in early July that I detected the tragic lumps that would later be diagnosed as cancer. My boy was dying and my head was spinning in utter terror. The thought of losing him after all these years was just unimaginable. I lost my dear friend Aug. 16, 2012.  I still have his pictures that grace my fridge. I have his ashes and I made a beautiful photo book that is on my coffee table.

Well, not too long afterwards while in the horror of loss, I adopted another cat named Joey. Joey was also rambunctious and a joy having around. I adopted him on Sept 10, 2012.  Well by Sept 22, 2012, family arrived at my home, and we had a fun day talking and they getting to meet my new fur family member.  Later that night is when we all went out to dinner and had a nice time. While driving home it would be the last time id ever see my boy's face again. Joey perished in an electrical fire in the home. My place was destroyed by the force of this monster. I lost my belongings and Joey all in one swift move. The anniversary was last month, and it hurt greatly still. I made it ok and hope that in time the memory will soften and I can smile at having given Joey a chance at his forever home. Forever was just not long enough. It can still sting when I think about it.

Today, my home is filled with the antics of a beautiful long haired boy, Tyler. He is a tan/white long haired cat. What a beauty he is. Sometimes I feel guilt. I am afraid to love him as I would like to . I am overwhelmed with the tragic events that has happened, that it gives way to panic. Loving Is a gamble. Love is a risk. I will make it. Time marches on. This November marks one year for Tyler. I do not regret anything. I like to bring out my friends from my warm, safe, tucked away place within me time to time, to remember the feelings and thoughts that made my life what it is today. My fur family is at peace. I loved them each and every one. So you are responsible for me taking them out of the safe spot this time because of your post. I'm glad though. It was nice sharing it with you and everyone. Don't forget to hug your fur friend today! Life is short. Life is fragile, but memories last a life time.

We are truly blessed to know the love of our animals, they are precious and unique, every one of them. I too have known many in my 57 years, I carry a lot of guilt over the senseless deaths of some, and anguish over the deaths of each and every one. I don't understand at all the hatred that some people carry towards these innocents, how they can maim and hurt and not feel anything. I learned a long time ago not to trust people like this, it's a very small step to go from animals to people. They get 'desensitized' to the pain, just as I learned seeing blood over and over as a nurse, it doesn't bother you as much when you get used to it. My heart also breaks when I see a kitten, shivering and cold with no home to go to. As soon as I find one a home another shows up. My heart is breaking over the death of my Chrissy, a death I could have prevented. But I had her love for ten years, and I pray I'll have her 'brothers' love for many more. Each and every one of my precious babies has a spot in my heart, some for their bravery, some for still being so loving even after being abandoned by their owners on my doorstep, all of them for loving me and making me a better human for having known them. RIP all you precious souls, know you all live on in my heart, you will NEVER be forgotten!