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Making hard decisions

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Mike and I have been having some in-depth conversation today, concerning whether or not we want to continue to rescue. We have lost 5 cats this year! A staggering amount for us, the most we have ever lost in a short amount of time. All died from different causes- had it been one disease that wiped them out, I might be able to have prepared for it, but they all just struck out of the blue, and just when my heart started to begin to heal, we would lose another one. It started with Dunkin, and ended yesterday with Ripley, and in between we lost Stryker, Bartee, and sweet Shredder. I hope it ends soon, I don't believe either of us can stand to lose another one.

The question is, can we stop rescuing? There is such a need for it in this area where people have such small regard for these noble creatures. It is so ingrained in us to help these cats, I don't know if we can stop helping them or not. I just know our hearts ache at the insurmountable losses of late.
post #2 of 11
We have lost alot of kitties this year too The ones we lost we did not have for a very long period of time so the pain is not as deep as yours (isadora two weeks and bonnies kittens (maui, cali, and halli one week).
Even though the losses were great the successes were greater (Snowwhite, nimby, stormy, blizzy, granet, marble, lola, ashton, sebastion, trinty, and bonnie).
Just look what you did for the trips. If it wasnt for you those three little love bugs would have died a horrible death. M.A. You are a wonderful person, and you have a gift for rescueing ferals. Not many people want to deal with the wild ones, but you can look past their ruff and wild ways and see the speical animal they are.
If losing them didn't hurt so bad it wouldn't be worth doing. The pain is because of the deep loss of a speical freind. Isn't it worth making that speical friend through? All the joy they bring out ways the sorrow. You gave them a chance to know love.
I would not give up those two weeks with isadora for anything. Knowing what I now I would have done things different, but I would never give up those memories of her.
You need sometime to heal M.A. But you have an amazing gift. Weither you decide to use it or not is up to you. You can try to give up rescueing but I think you are way to gifted to be able to give it up for ever. (((HUGS)))
post #3 of 11
Mary Anne, I'm so very sorry to hear about Ripster. (((HUGS)))

Val really said a lot in that post, and said it better than I can possibly put it.
post #4 of 11
I agree...Val, you wrote that perfectly. MA, I'm so sorry about your losses this year. The pain has to be tremendious for you & Mike. I truly hope that your luck changes.

post #5 of 11
M.A. I know grieving is very hard and sometimes it take a long long time to over come that sorrow in your heart . I know first hand how hard it is . We had a special cat and his name was Kikko , he was a Oriental Shorthair . Kikko was the most lovable cat we ever had in our life . He also was Mike's (hubby) cat .To this day we really don't know why he had to die . He passed away 5 month ago and we are still hurt and griev over him .But sometimes we have to look at the blessings in life . The good times , the joy and laughter we have . You give those cats new hope , they would not get any place els . They lern to trust again , a human who may have hurt them befor but now trust again . Where would they end up if you don't help them ? No more hope and no more future . Only sickness and starvation (sp) and death . You have a great gift , why not use it . Give the gift you have .Do you know how many times I look for your postings ? Every day I look . I get excited with you , I cry with you and I rejoice with you . I even laugh with you .All thos wonderfull rescue you do . And how many people have learnt from you ? I may not be able to count on both hands those people . Please don't give up now . I Love you (((((((HUGS)))))))
post #6 of 11
You should definately get in touch with Jeri from Safe Haven for cats....she takes neonatal babies...which as you know can "fade" for no apparent reason. This is her site:


She is really great to keep in contact with!!

Whatever you decide...know that because of your dedication some cats did live who wouldn't have without your assistance.

post #7 of 11
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the link, but these were adults we lost, not babies. I have had good luck with raising orphaned babies. I have only lost one in the last three years.

Thanks for your words everyone, they have led me to believe that right now I am just in a slump from losing so many. As Mike pointed out to me tonight, many of these cats came from colonies that were wiped out with disease and none of the cats are living that we know of. So we gave them at least 5-10 years they didn't already have. I guess when it comes right down to it, I can't not rescue, and again as Mike pointed out, we don't go looking for these cats, they find us in some fashion or another. And in the cases such as with Stryker and Dunkin we couldn't stop the cancer that was growing inside of them, we could have prolonged their lives (and probably gave them some stress and misery for a few months) but decided against it and let them go peacefully as we could. They have peace, we on the other hand do not-at least not yet.
post #8 of 11
I am so glad to read that you will continue your work with ferals. You have a gift from God. Sadly it seems that those who have special gifts of healing are also given equal amounts of pain and suffering to balance out the special power of giving life. I wish there was a way for you to keep your gift and to lose the pain that you have had to suffer. I hope that remembering all of the lives you have saved and how so many furry lives have been improved through your efforts will help you through the heart wrenching sorrow you are carrying with you right now.

Just remember that we are all here for you.

post #9 of 11
Please do not give up rescueing. Take a break if need be, but to give up is to not be realistic. All things will die in their own good time, but to die after being loved and cared for is so much better than to die after being abused or neglected. If you had not taken those kitties in, sooner or later they would have died anyway, but they would not have known your love for them. Many losses in a row is a VERY difficult thing to deal with. I was there,(years ago) losing 3 kitties in a 6 month period . But they were all about the same age and it was to be expected. The kitties I have now are many of the same age and this cycle could one day again happen to me. But we can't count on tomorrow, we can only live for today.
{{{HUGS}}} in your time of sorrow and prayers for the strength to continue
post #10 of 11
As hard as losing any may be, think about how long they might have lived had you not been there for them. You know in your heart that better than most!! I also take in the hard cases that no one else wants to deal with and people wonder how I can deal with losing some of them short of ripe-old-age. It brings out true compassion and humility and we are better people for it.

I'm glad that you chose to remain on your path. Could you do it any other way?
post #11 of 11
Oh MA, my heart aches for you! When I first started reading this thread, my heart froze. MA consider not rescuing? Of course I completely understand why. But I can't see that making you any happier. Like others have said, a break, perhaps - like when you threaten to take a few days off the boards. You're usually back within a day. You can't help it. No matter how frustrating the Internet community is at times, you are driven to be a good Partner, do what you can to help others with their cats, and be there for people. I think it's the same with rescuing. No matter how many times you suffer losses and your heart is breaking and you think it just can't break anymore... I just can't imagine that you could say "no." If you weren't doing the rescuing, you'd be helping someone who was, and the pain of loss, though not direct, would be there anyway. As you've told all of us so many times, it's a part of rescue.

Gary and I think our hearts are going to break just adopting out the kitties. Thank god we haven't had to face a death yet. I so understand Debby needing to take time off from TCS when Merlin died. I think that's what you're experiencing. The sense of loss is so overwhelming you need time to grieve. But your heart sings when you rescue, when that next feral sleeps on your bed (or Mike's chest ) - especially when you never expected it. I don't see you as someone who can live without those smiles. You may need to take a break from time to time, but you do truly have a gift, and it will come calling.

I guess when it comes right down to it, I can't not rescue, and again as Mike pointed out, we don't go looking for these cats, they find us in some fashion or another.
All of us knew what you've rediscovered. But that's part of the role of TCS, MA, and you've helped create that too.

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