I need some help...first time cat adopter. Any help is appreciated!

Hi guys, I am a full time college student who is living in a single bedroom apartment now. I just moved in this past summer.

So my friend has a cat but she is travelling during the summer. She asked me to take care of her cat during summer. I had to stay in town the whole summer because of my job so I accepted the cat. I had absolutely no idea of how to take care of a cat but the cat is amazingly friendly. Quite frankly she made my summer so memorable. When school started my friend returned to the city and brought the cat back with her. I felt like there was a hole in my heart

I got most of my cat knowledge from a good friend of mine who works at the university library. She is a cat-lover. She works with a local rescue group. About one month ago they rescued a group of stray cats from the animal control. Knowing that I miss having a cat around, she asked me if I would like to adopt one of the cat or not. I was very glad to say yes. The rescue group literally rescued them from the animal control the day they were supposed to be put down.

I got this one-year old tabby. She was so skinny when I first met her, but she was very friendly to me. This is the picture of her when I first saw her. My girlfriend named her "Princess" because she wanted me to treat her like one.


I felt we started off pretty good. Princess was sneezing a lot and she had ear mites. However, she would follow me around and even jump onto the counter of the bathroom when I was brushing my teeth. Maybe she was just hungry and was begging me for food. After having Princess with me for like five days, my librarian friend set up an appointment with a vet to treat Princess. I tried to put her into the carrier but she was terrified and ran around the apartment. I managed to get her into the carrier eventually, but I think I scared her pretty badly.

She received ear mite treatment and a shot for her sneeze. When I brought her back she seemed less active than before. A week later, me and my girlfriend gave her a bath and groomed her. It went better than I thought but she wouldn't let me trim her front claws. Since then, we have been living in peace. She doesn't approach me at all, maybe let me pet her every once in a while. I spend little time with her because I have one of the worst schedule imaginable. I spend like 12 hours at college three days a week and I work on other days.

Since last week, all she does is hiding under my bed and she would never leave there unless when I feed her. She would run away whenever I approach and she don't even try to eat treats from my hands. I can't pick her up or pet her and she doesn't come to me at all. She doesn't hiss or growl at me, just tries to stay away from me as much as possible. I think she is in depression! 

Here are my questions

1. Is is possible for me to bond with the cat again? Did I do something wrong that made her so scared of me? 

2. Should I stop making her going under the bed? I know i shouldn't pressure her, but I think she would have a habbit of hiding under there then there will be no chance for me to ever bond with her again.

3. Princess does not play with ANYTHING AT ALL. Even laser pointer. She doesn't seem to like catnip either. It's like there is literally nothing interests her in this world. Is this normal? What should I do to make her play with toys again?

4. I know stray cats take time to settle in and trust people, some probably will never trust people but I really feel like I'm not doing enough. What should I do to make her more friendly?

5. She uses litter box exceptionally well, does that mean she used to be an indoor cat?

6. What is my next step in terms of taking care of her? Should I set up an appointment with a vet about getting vaccinations and spay her and all that? Would that make her even more scared of me?

7. Would Feliway solve my problem? Even a single bit?

My girlfriend feels dishearted because she really loves Princess. I am not quite ready to give up yet. Sorry for so many questions. I am a newbie at cats so I would appreciate any help from all of you kind people!

Interesting development.  I think she was so friendly at first, as she wanted to please herself in. yes, they know when they are in trouble.  she knew she got to do it, especielly as she was sick.

Now she is in, and lets her natural shyness take over...

Yes, a Feliway adapter should help.  there are also different flower essences worth trying. google up  Jackson Galaxy´s firm, they do carry them.

If you can, sink your bed on the floor.  Let her have a cat igloo or a sideturned cardboard box as her legal hiding place...

If you need to cut her nails, wrap her up in a towel.   (look also up the parallell post I wrote 30 minuters ago).

Yes, spaying should be useful, and should be done anyway sooner or later.

Tx for caring!

Good luck!

Hello and welcome to TCS.

First..thank you for saving her and giving her a home. Yes, it will take time, yes she WILL eventually come around. You have to remember, she has already had a very uncertain first year of life and so will need time to know she is now in her forever home. She needs time to trust again, feel safe again.

I second the vote on using a feliway diffuser. Now..they do take a bit of time to start to fully work. About a week or so. I too, would put your bed on the floor, or block it off somehow as StefanZ suggests, and giving her an alternate hidey spot. Cats do like to either have a place to hide or a high spot when they are frightened or uncertain. Perhaps a cat tree or shelf.  I would also confine her to one room with everything she needs. You can play her soft music, like classical or harp, this all helps with setting a calm environment and establishes a safe room.

When you are in the room with her, keep your body low to the ground, by either laying down or sitting. Talk to her all the time, read a book out loud. This helps her to learn your voice. Keep treats near by. Offer them out to her on an open palm. If she doesn't come to you when you do this, put them down near her, but outside of her hidey place and move away. Be consistent. Do this frequently, slowly decreasing the distance between the treats and you. Let her set the pace. It may take some time too, finding the right treat that she will LOVE. Freeze dried liver or chicken has worked for me.

She does need to be spayed and vaccinated, but as she is at this time confined, I do not think you have to rush it.  But if you want to do it sooner then later, I myself would probably do it now BEFORE starting this process or risk having to just start all over again, since she had such a bad reaction returning from her last vet visit.

Remember, she is still young and she will adjust. She just needs time, patience and love.

Hope some of this helps and keep us posted please. She such a pretty girl too btw. Good luck.

Oh, poor dear.  She does look like she's had it rough.  Thank you so much for adopting her.  I believe that once the dust settles in her mind, she'll be fine.  I agree with Katluver- spay her now!  In addition to getting it out of the way, it will put your mind at ease.  You do not need her escaping when she goes looking for love.

Once that's done, she'll calm down.  Feliway, reading aloud to her, just spending quiet time with her will all work wonders.  Another tip - put a little Gerber chicken baby food on the end of a spoon and hold it out to her.  I am willing to bet that within minutes, she'll come out for a taste.  Just sit quietly and let her eat.  If you do this once or twice a day, pretty soon, you will be able to pet her.

Always put your hand out in a fist.  It looks like a cat's head, looking for a head bump.  If she lets your hand come near her head, slowly open your hand and give her head a scratch or two.  She may back off - open hands are threatening.  But between the baby food and quiet approaches, she should come around pretty soon.

You can block off under the bed as this will give you easier access to her.  But if you do that, please give her a hiding place.  A cardboard box with a blanket or towel is good.  The cat carrier itself is good, too.  It being open in the room is an excellent way to neutralize it.  Most cats never see the carrier until vet time and they learn that fast!

Good luck and thank you for your patience!

What kind of shot did she get for her sneeze? Antibiotics? Does she have an upper respiratory infection? Is she still sneezing? I think part of the reason she is hiding is that she is still not feeling well, either from the URI or the meds or both. Antibiotics usually affect the GI system since they wipe out all bacteria (including the good ones). Hiding while sick is very common. I think as she starts to feel better, she will be more interactive.

While I also recommend spaying sooner rather than later, please make sure she is 100% healthy before spaying. Also, while a lot of vets give vaccinations at the same time as spaying, I don't like this. It's too much stress on the system at once. I think vaccines should only be given when 100% healthy as well. Please read this link on vaccines before deciding when and which vaccinations. http://www.catinfo.org/?link=vaccines