Stray kitty is breaking my heart!

Hi everybody! I have a calico kitty that showed up on our deck a few days ago and was soooo skinny. I have 2 rescue cats inside that are very well taken care of so I think this stray knew what heart strings to tug on!

I have this huge sense of guilt and I lay awake at night because I am not able to take this cat in- my husband says no more cats! I am doing everything I can to try to find this kitty a home but not having much luck. I have made a little shelter for this kitty to sleep in and I feed and water it everyday and it is always on my deck when I come home. I am just so worried about the winter coming up and this little guy- why do such sweet kitties have to end up like this?? I am still working on my husband and trying to get this kitty in the house but for right now my plan is to keep feeding and watering it and providing some shelter for it- we live near the woods so there is a lot of coverage for him out there but again, it just breaks my heart to leave him out at night. I have also decided that if he sticks around I am going to take him to get him neutered/spayed (I dont know for sure if a female or male).

I guess I am just kind of posting this because of the guilt I feel and just need some reassurance that i am doing everything I can to try to help this kitty.

This little girl, if she is a calico. Very rare for male calicos.

Awww, poor kitty. Have you contacted any local rescue groups? Maybe they can help. Hopefully your husband will change his mind!

blacklab77 said:

and just need some reassurance that i am doing everything I can to try to help this kitty.

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Yes, you are doing nicely considering the situation.  continue to plan with spaying - could be soon now, so you dont risk she happen and get pregnant.   Cats are inductory ovulators, so if a male mates her she will get pregnant.  Many females dont go into heat in winter, but this may be thus not enough.

Continue to foster her, so she will be easier to adopt.   Also, few shelters admit semiferales.

Try to use your networks, friends, ex-school mates, your church group, etc, to find a new home.

Resuce groups and shelters are good if you find some nice such, but if you find her a permanent home with someone you know - takes the Prize.

And if everything else fails - she may be your outside cat. It is a life this too. If she is spayed she will make nicely.

Tx for caring!

Good luck!  

Can't you schmooze your husband a bit and say awww it's only one more pretty kitty and make with the big eyes. Does that work with him?

Hello,

My husband said no more cats after we rescued our first stray too. I agree with Stewball, a little schmoozing goes a long way. 

Cats do pretty well outside even in the winter. Get her spayed as soon as you can. The kittens I took in last year all came into season in January, when it was -15 and we had 2 meters of snow on the ground. Cold weather doesn't always stop them coming into season if there are amorous tom cats around.

As long as she has plenty of food and a place to sleep she'll be fine. If you line her shelter with cardboard and newspaper and then put some hay in as bedding she'll be nice and cosy. The hay that pet shops sell for rabbits works well.

I'm sure that if she hangs around looking cute all winter your husband will eventually cave.

I think you should try taking it steo by step with your husband. On one hand show him you are putting the effort to find a home for the kitten, whil you shelter her close toy our door and feed/pet her. Then as soon as it gets cold try to get the kitten inside to some indoor space not necessarily the house if that applies then slowly take the kitten in.

I tried this with my family an it worked. Slowly raising the bar while making the effort to fulfill their desire.

2 cats is much different to one cat. But 3 cats is almost the same as 2 cats

it is important that he know that you created a bond with the kitten too.

I wouldn't be able to turn a blind eye when I know it is materially possible for me to help. Great job ur doing.

Thank you everybody for the great advice and kind words! Kitty is still here and is such a lover! My husband I think I can slowly chip away at and DJoe, that is how I ended up with my other cats,I swore I was finding th a new home an they where just staying with us for the time being! But my husband fell in love with them so I am hoping I can weasel this kitty into his heart as well! I will keep everybody posted on my efforts and I am not done yet!

The only suggestion I have is to get her spayed as soon as you can, if that hasn't happened already.  Whether or not she comes inside, you do not need kittens!

But even if she stays outside, if you provide food and shelter (and spaying) she should be fine.  I will send vibes that your husband sees the need to bring her in though! 

Keep schmoozing. If I could put in smilies with my phone I'd have a thumb up smiley there. Go girl.

Hi everybody!

Nothing new to report- kitty is still outside and has been staying in her shelter that I made for her and she is eating and drinking really good. She still cries at my door and on Saturday I snuck her in the house and she napped with me on the recliner for about 4 hours! Now I am not sure if that was the right thing to do because my heart breaks even more when I see her outside. It was so cold and rainy on Saturday that I couldn't handle her outside in that. She is the sweetest little kitty ever and I think my husband is melting a little bit because he will feed her before I get home from work but he still hasn't budged yet on letting her in.

I plan on spaying her but I am afraid of her needing recovery time and what do I do if my husband wont let her in - has anybody else had experience with spaying/neutering outside kitties? How long would I need to have her rest inside? I haven't had much luck in placing this kitty with anybody- I just hope that the more it comes around and I know it looks at my husband with its big eyes like "you dope, you know you want me!" My husband is really a tender heart when it comes to animals as he is a farmer and has farmed his whole life-but he is also a realist and knows saving and caring for all animals is hard to do.

Thanks everybody for the great messages and I will continue to keep everybody updated on this baby!

When I had a shelter cat neutered the vet used dissolving stitches which don't need much looking after. They can't open the stitches. You just have to keep your eyes open for infection which is highly unlikely. I'm sure he wouldn't leave her out in the cold after an operation. That my be the way to get her in. Don't ask him. You're your own person not a chattel but don't tell him that. Once she's in to recuperate then she's in. Carry on with the schmoozing and making his favourite food and just don't draw his attention to her at all. He may just accept her as one of the family. Tell her to also schmooze daddy. Sit on him. Purr loudly when he's around. All the sneaky things kitties no what to do. Good luck my friend

Hi. 

I've had lots of stray cat's spayed in the past few years. My vet keeps them in for 24 hours, using the dissolving stitches as Stewball mentioned and gives them a shot of antibiotics to make sure they don't pick up any infections. Some of them are a bit wary of me for a few days after being spayed, but they soon forgive and forget and keep coming back to be fed. I've never had any problems with them.

Maybe you could ask your husband if you could have one room as her safe room for a few days while she recovers? Then point out that it's getting colder and she still has a shaved belly? Then that it's nearly Christmas and Santa won't come if you put the poor little thing out in the snow? 

Good luck, I hope he gets smitten with her soon.

Hello Everybody!

I have some great news- as I type this "baby kitty" is sleeping next to my husband on his recliner! It rained here so hard the last couple of days and baby kitty was at our door crying, I was crying, and I think my other cats where crying as well and my husband couldn't take it anymore and opened the patio door and let kitty in! YIPEEEEE!!! I was so happy and my husband made my heart melt yesterday even more then he usually does!

Baby kitty has already found where I keep the food and water for our other cats, already likes that I put ice cubes in their water, and loves Fancy Feast! Also has already found the litter boxes and has perked up a bit and has been playing and sleeping in the kitty hammock we have in the family room!

My husband and I are not able to have children and I think these little fur balls have been placed in our lives for a reason as we treat them as our kids. I have always said if I ever where to win the lottery I would open a sanctuary for stray animals as there are so many in need of just some love in this world.

I will try to figure out how to post a pic on here soon- I am terrible at anything computer related!

Thank you again for all the great info and kind words that have been sent my way! I appreciate it more than you know!

That is such terrific news! I am so glad to hear of a happy ending for baby kitty. You and your husband are such caring people to take in these strays. I do believe cats know who to go to for help. It is impossible to help all the strays in this world, but a little goes a long way in the lives you do save and touch. Thank you.

That's fantastic! I'm so glad to hear that she's indoors and is already settling in well.

I can't wait to see some pictures of her.

I am so happy she is in the house and doing so well!!!  Your husband is a good and kind man!  It just warms my heart to hear wonderful stories as this one. 

That is the best news of my week. I'm delighted. Although I know that this wasn't the case, I should have told you as a last resort to let the tears flow but it happened naturally. Yay. What are you going to call her.
I don't use my laptop, it gets on my nerves, so I use my phone and if I can work out, after a lot of failures, to get my pictures in then you can. One of the others can tell you what to press. Somebody told me. I'm dying to see her and all your other babies. That's what they are to me too.
Did I tell anybody here that blighty, male, suckles from whisky, male, and he lets him. Blighty squeaks and pushes his head into Whisky' s tummy and off he goes. Kneading, purring and sucking loudly. Whisky lies on his side and washes blighty.

Hi Everybody! Just a quick note on "Baby Kitty"...she is doing great and has sure made our home her forever home! She is so comfortable in our house and she acts like she has lived here since she was born! Makes my heart melt when a stray kitty transitions as well as she did!

Baby Kitty actually has an appointment with the vet on Friday to be spayed and front de-clawed (I hate having to do that to her, but she will strictly be an indoor cat and my husband insisted on this). I still have not figured out how to upload pictures since i take them all on my phone and have no clue how to upload them on to my computer! But I will figure it out!

Will post again soon and let everybody know how she is doing after her procedures this week.

Take care!

blacklab77 said:

Baby Kitty actually has an appointment with the vet on Friday to be spayed and front de-clawed (I hate having to do that to her, but she will strictly be an indoor cat and my husband insisted on this).

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Please please please consider persuading hubby that it will do great harm to the kitty. You didn't save her and give her a good life just to rob her of her natural defense. There is zero benefit to Baby Kitty, and it comes with much risk of behavior problems. She was outside for a long time before you found her, which means she'll have likely used her claws before. To have them taken away so abruptly is going to be traumatic at the very least. She may resort to aggressive biting in the future as she has no way to defend herself anymore. 

There are paw covers you can put on Baby Kitty's claws to prevent her from destroying furniture. This is a much more humane alternative than amputating her. I really really hope you can persuade hubby to reconsider. Declawing is very cruel.