A Formal Apology To Those Offended By Those Of Us In The Foxhole

First, I would like to extend my heartfelt apologies to anyone that was offended by anything that I said in my contributions to some of the threads. I can only express my own apologies and hope that, for those were offended, you will find it in your heart to forgive.

Until Gayef's post I simply thought that we were having a mature, reasonable debate/discussion and, unforunately, did not take all differing points-of-view into consideration.

I do find it interesting to debate mature topics in a rational/non-offensive manner with the people of this forum whom I have come to know and respect. But, it certainly is NOT worth it at the expense of upsetting others.

Again, I am sorry for my contributions to this!

So I take it that this thread has been removed?????

Meme,

Yes, I deleted it. The last thing we need is more young eyes viewing some very personal and intimate topics.

Donna

Ok Donna thank for letting me know.

Dear People Involved,

Please know that I was not offended by the topic matter of this thread so much as the blatant disregard for the fact that youngsters might be (and in this instance WERE) looking on.

While mature, adult topics ARE interesting to discuss with others, and I in no way would expect you or anyone else to censor yourself in discussing such things with other mature adults, I would hazard a guess that you would choose NOT to discuss such things were you aware of the presence of children, would you?

Anyway, I do not hold any one individual personally responsible, let's move on from that - but I do ask that you think in the future before you post. People lurk and read the messages every day yet never ever make themselves known to us. One of those people is my son. Next time, it could be yours.

And now just in case you might ask how I handled this today...When my boy asked me what was meant by some of the terms used, I took the Wuss Express right outta town and immediately sent him straight to his father. *grin* Now, I would love to be a fly on that wall as my husband's responses to these questions might provide endless mirth on my part. *LOL*

No hard feelings?

Gaye

I've been worried about this thread for some time now, but wasn't sure how to handle it... Not being an American, I was afraid of doing something stupid because of some cutural gap...

Anyway, I take full responsibility for that happened and I want to thank Donna for deleting the thread while I've been away. I am sorry if anyone got offended and I apologize.

That said, I want to say that I did appreciate the mature and fun way in which those issues were discussed. I don't know many online communities where people feel that comfortable to express themselves and I think that's a good thing.

I don't want to set any rules about this, I think we have all learned from this and will probably use our judgement differently in the future.

well....I can tell you one thing.....I have not a darn clue what these posts mean I guess I am slow to catch on or I an not easily 'offended' if that is the right word...... typical of me :LOL:

Well Amanda dearest you're not alone. I seem to have missed a lot of things over the weekend...

I think we've all learned from the thread in the nick of time. I would hate to see this site shutdown because of lack of good judgment. I will do my part to use common sense in picking subjects to discuss. I hope everyone will do the same. I apologize to Amanda and Billie for deleting it before they could see what was going on. Let's move on.

Now really I am of two minds here....

On one hand I can see where things were getting pretty far afield from a purely cat site,but that has been a hallmark of this site from when I first joined. It is also the reason why I have spent far more time here than other more restrictive sites I have been to.

Plus a request was made for more controversy and while it started off pretty mild things seemed to take a life of their own here. A lot of things were said by MANY people that seemed to be needed to and we all got to understand each other a bit better. That can never be a BAD thing.

Now frankly,the idea that any of us OWE an apology to someone OFFENDS ME GREATLY!!!! If this site belongs to someone it is ANNE. All that should have happened was for some member to mention that they were becoming uncomfortable with the thread,then we could have just decided together to tone it down a notch or two. The idea that we OWE it to someone to keep her kids from asking questions that she is uncomfortable with is sheer arrogance.

So I guess I'll just pull the foxhole in over me and move on.

Chuck..apologize if you want,but this is one member of the foxhole crew who is NOT apologizing to anyone.

Perhaps Anne you or someone else here could develop an "Adults Only" forum to the site;password protected maybe to keep the children out??

Kittyfoot:

My greatest respect goes out to you for having the nerve to post what I have felt about all of this.

I sent Anne that very idea to have a password protected forum for discussions like the ones we were having.

I have calmed down since reading this thread last night, but honestly, my first thought was sheer annoyance at being blindly censored. I understand now that Anne has some obligations as far as keeping the site to a "family nature". But I feel that should have been explained before we were deleted.

I also have not posted in this thread before this time because I also do not feel I owe an apology to anyone. The remarks in any of the threads in question did nothing to personally attack anyone, the only reason I would see where an apology would be due.

As to the issue of children on the site, it is my firm belief as a parent that internet use by minors should be strictly monitored. I don't consider the web an open forum for children, and if kids are reading these or any other sites, the issue lies at home at the computer.

I don't think this site is appropriate for children, regardless of any of the recent threads. Others post links to sites that include instances of pictoral animal cruelty or other places that I wouldn't want my kids exploring freely.

Enough said from me. This post is not meant to point the finger directly at anyone. I just feel as though the concerns about recent threads should have been posted and left for those of us participating to act upon.

ANNE.....

I have been thinking... that may be good or it may be bad....lol But it seems to me that a lot of us on the catsite not only enjoy posts on the cat topics but we also enjoyed posting on the threads that were more adult oriented. It was nice to be able to discuss some of these adult topics with others in a sane and rational way. Some of the views in these topics were very interesting and helpful. Ok so I don't know if anyone else would be interested in this but here goes anyhow. Would it be possible to have an adult type forum for those of us that are members and wish to use it? Someone suggested we use PM's for that type of thing but that wouldn't work at all. Maybe it could be password protected and the password only given out by you so as not to offend anyone or be viewed by children? Ok well it is just an idea I had as I for one will miss those discussions.

Kittyfoot,

How many times have you observed the way young people are (mis)behaving in our society today and wondered to yourself..."Where are the parents?" ... Have you ever listened to a news report of a kid committing a very adult crime and thought, "Why didn't the parents do something?? How could they not have known?" - if you are like a lot of people, then these are questions you ask frequently.

Well, the next time you find yourself asking, remember that you think I am arrogant.

I am trying to make a difference. I am trying to address the question of "Where are the parents". I am RIGHT here, in your face, attempting to do what you expect me to do. I am involved. I am participanting in my kid's life and activities. And you think I am arrogant.

Well, sir, I think you are no gentleman.

Gaye

Well, I think from this point forward, we should all "agree to disagree" on the various issues that are now creeping up as a result of recent posts.

This looks like it is beginning to turn into an all-out war.

The real issue to be solved from this point is how to we proceed from here so that everyone feels the issues have been resolved to their satisfaction.

Some good suggestions have been made as far as a password protected forum for those of us who feel we have gotten to know others a little better than the "how do you do" stage.

I must say I disagree with Deb and Kittyfoot on this one.

I agree that parents are responsible for monitoring their kids on the web, but I think that once you ascertain that a website if family safe that should be enough.

As I have explained in some private emails, this site is rated as family safe in several places, including search engines and this web host. Had anyone complained, I could have been in trouble and the site would have been shut down. The point you bring up about animal abuse links is a good one, but as it happens, what most hosts/ advertisers/ search engines are worried about is sexually explicit material.

I consider myself to be fairly liberal, but I think that that thread went way too far for this site. I was at fault for not stopping it on time or/and asking people to tone it down and for that I am very sorry.

I haven't seen anyone here who demanded an apology and I think that Gaye was extremely nice and pleasant through the whole things, so there's no need to get mad at anyone. Meowman was apologizing to anyone who might have been offended and not said anything and I join him in the apologies.

Now, as for an "adult" password protected forum. That is not feasible for the reasons I mentioned before. My host won't allow such material and hosts that do charge three times as much. I am very happy that we have such a close knit community here, and I am seriously considering starting a new forum, totally separated from this one, where there would be a password protected adult forum.

Anyone who's interested in this new venture, please email or PM me. I'll be happy to hear your opinions.

I don't know you,nor do you know me. Neither of us is in any position to make personal statements about each other and that was not my intent.

Indeed I applaud that you are concerned about your children. Good for you.

HOWEVER....what I find VERY OFFENSIVE is your apparent idea that everyone here MUST CONFORM to your beliefs. If you are offended by me or anyone on any site you have a very easy option. Shut the site off.
Either that or POLITELY POST that you thought we were getting into subjects you are uncomfortable with. To DEMAND that the thread be closed to suit your tastes is not teaching a very good lesson. THAT is what I and others here have a BIG problem with.

Not a gentleman??? Madame,if that were true I could tell you what to do with your narrow-mided outlook. As I am..I will just wish you a very happy life,on whatever planet you are from.

Kittyfoot,

With all due respect, if your desire is to talk about things that only adults should be reading, perhaps you should go into a sex chat room and pour your heart out. YOU were the one that seems to be setting off the firecrackers in these threads and then diving for cover in your little foxhole. Does COWARD come to mind?

Remember, this is a CAT site not a SEX site. While I am no prude and am very open minded, what you and Meowman started embarassed alot of the members including myself, that's why I didn't respond when it got too racy. Things of that nature are too intimate to be on a CAT site.

Right on Gayef!!! I applaud you for being involved in your kid's life. Most parents use the computer as a babysitter. Stick to your guns.

Donna

Anne....

Maybe you didnt see the letter that Gaye wrote before the thread was deleted. Seems to me that she was demanding an apology. Below is an exact quote from that post........

It is my personal opinion that you guys might wanna consider using the Private Messaging functionality of the site to continue - AND, I might add - you ALL owe me a big apology.

Click to expand...

And I for one would love to have that adult forum that you mentioned. Oh and Anne I think you run a wonderful site!

Okay - you seem to be typing away much faster than I do...

I'll be closing this thread now to avoid further flaming. I happen to think you're all pretty decent and nice people and I really hate to see these insults posted.

I've said what I've had to say in my post. I'll be closing this thread now and I'm asking everyone to cool off and not carry the flaming into any other thread. If you still want to carry the argument, please use the PM or email functions.