Darn drivers!

Oh Barbara, thank you! 

The police officer just called. He spoke with the man and he (driver) admitted everything....he took complete responsibility for it all and said he would take care of everything for me. The officer told me that he can only suggest, but he is suggesting very strongly that I no longer walk outside here. In his opinion, it's simply too dangerous He can't tell me not to walk, but he can suggest. I had told him about the other night (I think it was Tuesday night), a woman drove by me; she didn't even try to get over and, she actually sped up as she got close. And as she passed me, she gave me the finger. Nice, eh?

Anyway, I just called the man on the phone. I told him I was OK and he started to cry. He was so worried about me and he said he's never ever been in an accident before. Ever. He's in his late 60s. Things happen and he gets that. I still think that he simply wasn't paying attention. He told me to call my doctor, get the bill and send it to him....he'll cover everything. And if I need anything, I am to call him right away. Bless his heart. I'll call my doctor on Monday morning. I told him that I'm not really allowed to walk out there anymore and he says he feels just terrible and he is so sorry. I believe him; maybe I am naive, but I believe him.

As for the basement, I am simply petrified of dark places. Just petrified. When Rick first started to travel like this, I'd be fine during the day. But at night, I'd turn on every outside light and every single indoor light, so that all the rooms in the house were lit. And the lights would stay on all night long, until it got light enough outside that I felt safe. I couldn't go back to the bedroom once it got dark....I was too scared. Even with the lights on, I was still too scared. I always slept on the sofa in the living room. It's only been during the last couple of years that I've been able to actually keep all the lights off and go to bed at night. And even so, I have the tv turned on in the bedroom for the light. Sound is turned down very low. I need the light.

To be in the basement in the early morning (4:00) without Rick in the house scares me. Even with basement lights on. I usually have my ear buds on while I'm walking....I can't walk without anything or it would take forever to get the miles done. And then every little thud or sound upstairs would give me the creeps, even though I know that those sounds are caused by the cats. With the ear buds, I can only hear music. And that creeps me out, too. I'm a real coward about darkness. Honestly if the power ever went out at night and I was by myself, I'd die of fright. It's really pathetic. I tried it the last time he was in Oregon....I went downstairs around 4:00 and managed 1/4 mile on the treadmill. And then it got the best of me and I ran up the basement steps. I don't even like going down there to do laundry if it's dark outside and I'm alone in the house. I can hang out downstairs all day long during the day, with the treadmill, cleaning, vacuuming, anything. Once it gets dark, I'm done.

I know it's pathetic and I know it's a bad phobia or whatever. I've been that way all my life, from the time I was 5 years old. When Rick and I were first married and lived in the trailer, I walked back the hallway to the bedroom. He turned the hall light out and pretended to be the boogie-man, started growling and told me he was going to get me. And I passed out right in the hallway. Cold. Just from being scared. Needless to say, he never did that again!

Parents can be very cruel sometimes. And things that they do have lasting effects on their children. I am 58 years old. When it comes to being in the dark, or being in a basement alone in the house, I'm still five years old. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.

We've been thinking about putting a tv in the basement. And putting curtains at the windows....no, there are no curtains at the windows. We never really saw the need because we've been working down there as we get some spare time and some extra money. But we haven't done any curtains. And I have been startled at times. One morning I was walking down there and a cat showed up at the window....scared the crap of me until I realized that it was a cat. One morning a doe showed up and looked right in the window. That's kind of neat, in a way, though. But it still scared me for a second. It is a walk-out basement. I keep a shovel at the door handle when I'm home alone, so the door can't be opened. 

There's a way around this; I just have to figure it all out. At least for now, I can start walking outside over lunch at work again. That, combined with my treadmill in the mornings once Rick gets back home, will give me my two walks a day.

I'm just a big baby.

ETA: Peaches, I'd bet I've been walking along that road now for about ten years. Just from about the middle of April or so until the beginning of November or so, when it's too hot and humid to walk in my work neighborhood during my lunch break. It's never really been a problem, although, I don't know why, but some people refuse to move over. Nor will they slow down. In my post I mentioned about the woman giving me the finger. That happens often, believe it or not. And it's primarily women. Men will move over, if they're at a stop sign, they'll motion for me to go in front of them. I always wave and say "Thank you". Always. Women? They are nasty sometimes. They won't move over, they speed up, I guess, to try to intimidate people. I don't know. I'm not the only walker along the road and I've talked to others. Everybody (walkers) thinks it's getting worse as more and more people move down here. People fly along this road.....I do, too. But I always slow down and move over for a walker or a biker.

Oh I'm not chastising you at all! I know how aggressive drivers can be! I live on a resort island and we dread the tourists. I have almost been hit, so I walk and make loops on the roads that I do. I've had people blow their horns, give me the finger, and etc. when I clearly have the right of way. My favorite was when I stopped to let a bicyclist cross (he hit the button for the crossing light, we HAVE to stop). Woman behind me got mad, gunned it getting around me and cussed me. Almost hit the cyclist...she never saw him. But one of the things she said was about me being a bad driver from the south. Yeah, OK.

I won't go into my fears of darker places, for fear of adding to yours! But, maybe if you got curtains, mirrors, something to help?

Oh my, I am glad your arm is not broken. It is a good thing the man is taking responsibility for what he did. Keep us posted how you are doing.

Ok, I think I was wrong about encouraging you to walk that area again! Oops! From what you just said, you are right in avoiding it. I didn't realize the road was that bad!

You are not a big baby. I understand phobias.  I have had agoraphobia since I was 14.  I can go places, but often get flaky about certain roads, buildings, etc.; mostly, it's to do with heights and suspension bridges, but not always. So places just put me on edge; sometimes, I can drive there; mostly not. I find myself making excuses with family and friends. I'm too ashamed to admit my irrational fears. I think it's due to my father's verbal, psychological and physical abuse.  I think I'm afraid of accomplishing big things that take me away from home--years of being told how stupid, fat, etc. that I was stripped me of any self-confidence I had. I also think my parents had some dirty little family secret, and they were afraid I'd either blab something, and strangers would put 2 and 2 together, or that I would find out from someone else. Keeping me at home served their needs, as well;  I was brought up to cater to my parents and not get married. If I got wings and flew, then they couldn't keep me at home. They did a lot of damage to me with this stuff. Luckily, though, at least I'm not afraid of many others things--nor the dark!  It's just as well, as I spend a lot of time alone at home, due to DH's work hours and reenacting. It is a bit weird, I must admit--after all, until I met him 10 years ago, I never had been alone at night anywhere I lived.

I'm glad things are working out for you with the police thing, etc.!

Pam, just a couple of thoughts.

First and foremost, I'm SO glad you're okay.  Thank God for that.

About the basement - PLEASE install window coverings immediately to make sure nobody - not even a cat - can look inside.

Also, please, seriously think about installing motion sensors and whatever else might be needed to make sure nobody can be on your property without you getting a warning.  (Friends of ours and some good neighbors around us have had these sensors for years and the protection makes them feel secure because they have solved some serious problems for them they couldn't have solved otherwise.)

There is nothing, absolutely nothing worse than things that don't make you feel secure in your own home.

Fortunately, there is a lot your can do about that.

It's 6:30 a.m. and I've been up since about 4:00 because that's when our Bootser starts screaming for breakfast. It's a shame because I could have been in the basement long before this and my 3 miles would be done. It's just barely starting to get light outside....that's the bad thing about the shorter days of fall and winter. As it is, I've been cleaning throughout the house and am taking a coffee break right now. I'm also on my third load of laundry....I can get into the basement long enough to throw a load of laundry in the washer or dryer in the morning, but then come right back upstairs. And I won't go down there at night. Silly? Yep. I know it.

I don't think that parents realize that what they do to their kids can sometimes have long-lasting effects on them that can stay with them for the rest of their lives. And I know that many people are afraid of the dark for one reason or another....I'm not alone. I also know that it's really stupid, but it's the way it is. I have a close GF who is scared to death of tunnels. When she and her DH go anywhere, he has to make sure they don't have to go through any kind of tunnel. She won't go near the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel and she won't drive into mountain tunnels or anything like that. We all have our phobias. And it's OK. 

As for the road, Rick said he will continue to walk, simply because by next month, it will be too dark after work, so he might as well get in whatever time he can get for now. And I can walk at work; I am lucky that I get an hour for lunch and can take advantage of that. I'm going back to work on Wednesday, so can start back in with my neighborhood walks again. I haven't walked out there in months and months, so it will be something new for me again.

ETA: Hi Violet! We do have motion sensor lights around the back of the house. We put them in a few years ago and the deer have a tendency to turn them on quite a bit.   And Rick and I have talked about curtains now, too, for the basement. I need to start looking for something. It's been long overdue. This is not a case of being afraid of people or flesh-and-blood people per se. I'm not afraid of my house and I actually feel pretty secure here, even when I'm alone (except for the basement, of course). It doesn't really bother me.....and I can say that honestly. I'm simply afraid of being in the dark. 

I think it was last year. Rick was gone and I was here. I got up one morning and couldn't find my keys anywhere. I looked all over the place. And then I thought, "No! No way!" Opened the front door and there were my keys still in the lock. And the back door in the kitchen was unlocked....I never locked it the night before; I had been outside and didn't even think about it. Now, I'm not normally that scatter-brained at all, but sometimes my brain tends to fry on me. But I'm not afraid of living here and I'm not afraid of being here. It's simply an "I'm afraid of the dark" kind of thing.

Aw don't worry Pam; I've got a phobia I've never met anyone else with. And it's a panic, faint-feeling inducing type phobia too.     At least you've got a jump start on chores.  I'm sure with a little time and Rick getting home; things will settle down for you or you'll figure out a new routine that works.  How is your arm feeling now that it's been a few days? 

Glad you are ok. This has nothing to do with a driver but my son in law hit a deer last week and wrecked the car. He is ok.

Wow, I'm glad you are OK. How scary!

I'm not a big fan of my basement after dark either. I grew up with an odd person across the street from me. He did look in people's windows. To this day I have to close all the shades at night.

Okay, a few suggestions. Wear light-colored clothing with reflective stripes on them. Carry or wear one of those LED flashing red lights that bicyclists use. Get a petition going to have the county put up signs, WATCH FOR PEDESTRIANS.

The guy was so relieved because you have a good lawsuit against him. You could have his cell phone records subpoenaed, and if they found he was talking on his phone or texting, he could be charged with reckless driving.

My clothing is usually lighter-colored, although I do have a fluorescent orange t-shirt that I like to wear, simply because it is so bright (it's a old union shirt of my husband's and the color is meant to draw attention). Never thought about the LED lights....that's a good idea. The ends of my shoes have a fluorescent green, so they can be seen, too.

It's up the state to put up the signs, not the county as it's a state road. And the state has said it's not worth it (we checked into that a few years ago). They have to do a traffic study and all that. The road has to warrant signage.....I think it would, but it's a matter of money.

I don't think the driver was on his phone; I really don't. I don't know why I think that. The police said that if I wanted to file charges, they would do so. But as long as he takes care of the doctor bill, I'm fine with it. And I think the driver knows that he is very lucky, too, because I'm not doing anything. 

The police charged the driver....I received the paper in today's mail, something about roadways lined for traffic. So he has received a violation.

I'm glad they went ahead and did it. I couldn't. I know, I know. But I couldn't.

I received an application to file for a copy of the report....I will go ahead and ask for a copy. I have to wait two weeks before mailing the application.

It's good he was charged with a moving violation.  Maybe a large fine and loosing a good driver discount on his insurance if he had one will make him think twice about being absent minded and or reckless.

I'm very glad you're ok. When my son was about 12 he had a massive hematoma on the back of his hand. The doctor put a cast on it to keep it still. He also was slightly hit by a car near school but enough for him to fall. The man got out, checked that he was ok, went into the school to the headmaster and reported himself to the police! My son didn't tell us. Then we got a phone call from the police to see if he was ok! Then questions to the police and to my son.
I was scared of the dark when I was small. My parents left the bedroom door open a bit and closed it when they went to bed.
You must walk with lighting to see you even if it's light.

You are so extremely lucky to have suffered such minor injuries compared to what MIGHT have happened! Every day I watch the speeding drivers use our road as a race track. Most are texting or on the phone, a lot of them come right up to the curb and stir up the dust there before they jerk back. With all our ferals and wildlife around here I have nightmares  thinking about them. I've buried so many...... Ours is one of the few 'through' streets in town, so a LOT of drivers use it (and pick up a lot of speed). We, and the neighbors have called the police several times, they do seem to patrol it more. Just yesterday we had two dirt bikes race through that my husband estimated to be going 90-100MPH!  Winchester, I'm so happy you are OK! I enjoy your expertise on cat care!

Thank you. I am fine. Honest. My arm doesn't even hurt anymore or anything. And the colors of the bruises on my arm are starting to fade.

People (including me) fly up and down our road. I always slow down and move over for a biker or a walker....it's not just common courtesy, it's a safety thing!

Yesterday, I was out walking in my work neighborhood. I was watching two elderly women get in the car in a driveway. The driver started the car up. And started backing out of the driveway into the street. She never looked....not once; she was busy talking. A car was coming and that driver hit his brakes. I just stopped and stood there (had I not been paying attention, she would have hit me, no question about it). When she saw me, she put her hands up to her face and screamed, "Oh my God!" I put my arms out and said, "Really? REALLY?" She told me she didn't see me. I told her she didn't even look. The driver yelled something very nasty to her, swerved and kept going.

I should probably just walk on my treadmill and be done with it.

Thanks so much! 

Stick to the treadmill! That street sounds dangerous!

Old people shouldn't be allowed to drive past a certain age and from ten years before that should have to redo the test.
I don't drive! Never learned.

The age group that causes the most accidents is the 16 - 24 age group. What do you propose for them? I agree that the next most accident prone are the 75+ age group.

They started something here quite a few years ago. For about 6 months after they have passed the test they can only drive with a qualified driver in the car and there was a sort of curfew at a certain time. Not to be home but off the road. I'll have to ask my son if it's still in operation. This is for the 16-24 year olds.
My cats are having a rare good time in the living room. And it's 2.30am.