Grateful for any advice

epidaurus · Sep 8, 2013

Hi guys! Completely new to both cats and this site, but I've found it very helpful. I guess we're just looking for advice and reassurance.

My girlfriend and I live in New York City. Yesterday, we rescued a feral cat. We don't know its age or sex, but if I had to take a stab, I'd say it was 3-4 months old. The cat (kitten?) used to come out of back alleys at night (11 PM on the dot) and follow us to our stoop. This was before we had any food. We decided to buy cat food and made this our nightly ritual. I'd jostle my keys and the cat would come running. We moved the food closer and closer until it was feeding at our feet. There are 5 or 6 strays on our street, but we started talking in earnest about how this might be a cat we could take in. A week later, we bought a crate and took the cat home.

Once we opened the crate in the hallway, it panicked and bolted. This threw me off, although I now know this is normal. It settled on a sleeping bag under our bed. It's been 14 hours. The cat hasn't moved.

My girlfriend and I are worried sick. Did we do the right thing? Did we break its trust forever? Does it hate us? Last night, we slept on the bed. I barely moved. The cat didn't move either. I don't know if this is a good sign, a bad sign, or no sign.

On the advice of other poster's from this site, we've drawn the curtains in the bedroom and shut the door. We knock before entering. When we do enter, we talk in a soothing voice. No hissing or antagonistic behavior from the cat yet. It's basically paralyzed.

We put a littler box in the bedroom with some Fresh Step. This morning, we scooped some dirt from the sidewalk to add to the littler box. We don't know if this will have any effect at all.

The cat hasn't eaten anything and we can't tell if it has had any water. We put food beside the bed last night -- the same food we've been feeding it outside. We removed it before bed and placed it under the bed this morning, thinking maybe it would be more likely to get to the food if it didn't have to come out from under the bed. It's still untouched.

Going to the vet is obviously a priority, but we have no idea how to even begin the process without scarring it forever.

We both love this cat very much and just want to give it a warm and loving home for the remainder of its life. We'd be grateful for any help. Thank you in advance!

StefanZ · Sep 8, 2013

That situation is quite common! This may even happen with bough cats! Proceed like you do, no stressing, softly friendly talking, food water, litter near. The first time he goes out he will prob do it at night.

Im not sure what this brand of Fresh step is. It shall be unscented, preferably common baked clay, but as long as its unscented should do. Other natural material ok too. Your laying in little dirt was good idea. May help. You can perhaps have two boxes, with different litters, so you double the chances everything kicks in.

A smart way is to take them to the vet immediately after the capture, before you bring them home.

Now it is probably better to let him land, as you dont have any resident who need to be safeguarded. Only some risk of fleas, but you know that.

You can try with buying a Feliway adapter or spray. They arent cheap, but works often nicely for calming and feelign them good. A well equipped pet shop should carry them. Otherwise at the vet, or at the pharmacy, if they do carry also preparates for animals.

Otherwise, be careful with buying medicines for cats OTC at pet shops - some may be OK, others are dangerous - so you must know exactly which one to buy there.

Another tip for calming may be relaxing music on low level. Classical harp music is best, but most soft relaxing music can work....

Continue with reports and questions!

Good luck!

Welcome to our Forums!

nccarol · Sep 8, 2013

How great of you to take the little one in. Its probably just scared but yes getting it to the vet would be a good start. I have taken in some strays in the past and they will hide till they are comfortable with the surroundings. Please let us know how it is doing. Bet it will start slowly creeping out at night little by little

epidaurus · Sep 8, 2013

StefanZ, nccarol, thank you so much for your replies!

StefanZ, I bought a Feliway adapter this afternoon. After plugging it in, we left the kitten alone for three hours and just knocked and entered fifteen minutes ago. It on the window ledge! Unfortunately, we had no idea it was there. The point of the visit was to open the curtains and give the kitten a little evening light, so rustling the curtains scared it half to death. It's back under the bed. But perhaps that was a good sign? Maybe the Feliway adapter helped a little bit? We set a little spoonful of tuna down under the bed and together spent some minutes softly apologizing. I also turned on a reading light on my bookshelf. It's away from the bed, but now the kitten isn't in near-total darkness. I don't know if that's the right thing to do either. I'll take you up on the music!

I feel terrible that it's alone and scared, but both of you really calmed my nerves by reinforcing that all of this is normal. I can't thank you enough.

It's been 24 hours since the little one has eaten.

As an aside, we both have to come inside the room every night to sleep on the bed (while the kitten is hiding underneath). Do you guys think that's okay? We slept there last night (the first night), with the kitten hiding underneath, and nothing terrible happened. I just hope it isn't viewed as some kind of encroachment on its safe space.

Thank you both again!

StefanZ · Sep 8, 2013

epidaurus said:
As an aside, we both have to come inside the room every night to sleep on the bed (while the kitten is hiding underneath). Do you guys think that's okay? We slept there last night (the first night), with the kitten hiding underneath, and nothing terrible happened. I just hope it isn't viewed as some kind of encroachment on its safe space.

Thank you both again!

Oh, this with having the shy fosterling in ones bedroom is in fact, one of the tips of the trade... This way, they get accustomed and fostered automatically. Laying down humans, even sleeping, are totally harmless and non threating... Unless you are making a lot of funny noises and hasty movements on this bed of yours, but I dont think you do, not now.

Proceed so!

Good luck!

ondine · Sep 9, 2013

Another thing you can try is sitting in the room, quietly reading aloud. It will give her some familiarity with your presence. Following your normal routine is ideal, as she is going to become part of this routine. It is going to take time - her whole world has been turned upside down. Thank you for helping her!

shadowsrescue · Sep 9, 2013

You also can try playing some soft music. When I have first brought cats in, I would play harp or other classical music 24/7. Also Gerber Stage 1 chick or turkey baby food is wonderful to help socialize. You may want to pick some up for later. As far as litter, make sure it's unscented. You can also get some Dr. Elsey's litter attract. It's kind of expensive, but it contains some herbs that help the cat to use the box. You can just sprinkle some on top of the existing litter. Have a few toys and hidey boxes available too. When the cat does come out, you may want to block under the bed so he/she can't continue to get under. Instead have other hiding options.

Once things calm down a bit you will want to get the kitten to a vet. He/she will need some vaccines as well as wormed, flea treatment and a spay/neuter.

Things will get better. Just have patience and calmness. Thank you so much for caring and taking in this little one.

mini lowen · Sep 9, 2013

Just so you know, I did absolutely everything wrong when we captured our feral. My grown son plunged his hands into two screaming fighting cats and came up bleeding and holding a grown orange male. He ran into the house and threw him into the spare room. It took two months before we saw him again. I put the food down and left 4 times a day. The food was not touched for two days, then the plate was always empty, except on days when I vacuumed in the adjoining room. I place the Feliway in the room and a night light. I put Temptations cat treats on the window sill and in the corners of the room. Finally one day they were gone! He was walking around! After 3 months he let me watch him eat if i was sitting outside the room, and the door was open a crack. It's now been 4 months and I tricked him into a cat carrier last week and had him neutered, defleaed , and dewormed. A few days ago I was putting his food down and he rubbed his body on my arm and purred! This is a big project you've undertaken, but an extremely rewarding one. Get ready to be the most patient person on the planet. Good for you for saving that little life!

epidaurus · Sep 9, 2013

StefanZ said:
Oh, this with having the shy fosterling in ones bedroom is in fact, one of the tips of the trade... This way, they get accustomed and fostered automatically. Laying down humans, even sleeping, are totally harmless and non threating... Unless you are making a lot of funny noises and hasty movements on this bed of yours, but I dont think you do, not now.

Proceed so!

Yes, we are completely paralyzed in bed so we don't scare the kitten. But this made me spit out my water laughing.

EDIT: mini lowen, I just saw your reply after I posted this. From someone else who feels like they're doing absolutely everything wrong, that story gave me a lot of hope. That must've been amazing after waiting months. Thank you so much for sharing!

(We haven't taken this cat to the vet either. One of the things we're afraid of is breaking its trust all over again. How did you trick him into the crate? Did you ever worry about him regressing to square one, trust-wise, after the visit?)

mini lowen · Sep 9, 2013

Omg, I loved that curtain story! So many things like that happened to me and Will Feral in the last few months! I've had to cover the mirrored closet doors with newspaper, because he would freak right out if he saw any movement coming from the mirror. Even if it was his own movement! I realized be had never seen a mirror before, or carpet, or a bed! Once I stopped thinking of him as a cat and more like a wild animal (raccoon? Possum?) then my expectations were more in line with what would happen next. I often despaired that I would never get close to this cat and the best I could hope for was for some kind of Stockholm Syndrome to set in. But the body rubbing purring fool that is in my spare room right now has won my heart.
I realized we were about a year away from me stuffing him into a cat carrier, because my house cats don't even like that. But I had to get rid of his fleas and worms. Super gross. So I put the cat carrier in the room, and for a week fed him half rations at his usual spot and the other half in the back of the cat carrier. I had called my vet and asked what would be a good day to bring him in. So on my next day off I fed him as above and sat about a metre away with a broom on the ground. He ate then eyed the carrier. I said No trap here! in a what I hoped was a casual voice. Unbelievably he headed towards it and went in! I carefully used the broom handle to slowly close the door, reached over and I had him! I covered the carrier with a dark blanket to put him in blackout. I was still in my pj's and ran to get changed. ( I told Will Ferall he was going to get tutored so he wouldn't worry.) We arrived at the vets with me triumphantly holding the carrier and my shirt on inside out. Second happiest day of my life! They neutered, dewormed, defleaed him that morning. The vet said they get a kind of amnesia from the anesthetic and he probably wouldn't hold a grudge. She was right, after a snoozy rest of the day , he didnt miss a beat with me and a week later came the purring.
You are already doing WAY better than I did. I don't even want to mention the afternoon I spent throwing Temptations at him under the bed. What was that all about?!? If Will Feral can accept the crazy bungling person that comes into his room, then you and your kitten will be brilliant together.

shadowsrescue · Sep 9, 2013

mini lowen said:
Omg, I loved that curtain story! So many things like that happened to me and Will Feral in the last few months! I've had to cover the mirrored closet doors with newspaper, because he would freak right out if he saw any movement coming from the mirror. Even if it was his own movement! I realized be had never seen a mirror before, or carpet, or a bed! Once I stopped thinking of him as a cat and more like a wild animal (raccoon? Possum?) then my expectations were more in line with what would happen next. I often despaired that I would never get close to this cat and the best I could hope for was for some kind of Stockholm Syndrome to set in. But the body rubbing purring fool that is in my spare room right now has won my heart.
I realized we were about a year away from me stuffing him into a cat carrier, because my house cats don't even like that. But I had to get rid of his fleas and worms. Super gross. So I put the cat carrier in the room, and for a week fed him half rations at his usual spot and the other half in the back of the cat carrier. I had called my vet and asked what would be a good day to bring him in. So on my next day off I fed him as above and sat about a metre away with a broom on the ground. He ate then eyed the carrier. I said No trap here! in a what I hoped was a casual voice. Unbelievably he headed towards it and went in! I carefully used the broom handle to slowly close the door, reached over and I had him! I covered the carrier with a dark blanket to put him in blackout. I was still in my pj's and ran to get changed. ( I told Will Ferall he was going to get tutored so he wouldn't worry.) We arrived at the vets with me triumphantly holding the carrier and my shirt on inside out. Second happiest day of my life! They neutered, dewormed, defleaed him that morning. The vet said they get a kind of amnesia from the anesthetic and he probably wouldn't hold a grudge. She was right, after a snoozy rest of the day , he didnt miss a beat with me and a week later came the purring.
You are already doing WAY better than I did. I don't even want to mention the afternoon I spent throwing Temptations at him under the bed. What was that all about?!? If Will Feral can accept the crazy bungling person that comes into his room, then you and your kitten will be brilliant together.

sivyaleah · Sep 9, 2013

First, thank you for rescuing this little kitten. Have you given him/her a name yet?

Also, just to add more stories to help you, when we took in our 2nd cat, who was a rescue we got from a local organization, she remained under our guest room bed or dressers for 2 solid weeks. The first 36 hours, we are sure she didn't come out - no food eaten, nothing in the litterbox. I was SO worried about her. Before 48 hours were up, hunger got the best of her I guess, and late at night she came out, ate, had some water and finally used the box. That made me feel a lot better; at least I knew she had some food in her then.

Each day, I would come in several times a day (I had off from work) and sit there, talking to her, peeping under the bed, leave the tv on with soft music playing, had a Feliway, all things said above. She finally would allow me to take her out from under the furniture, but would scurry back as soon as she was down again. She also, would come out when I came in with her meals which was a very good sign, but again, run back to hide right after.

Imagine my surprise when at the end of just about 2 weeks, I came in one morning and she was there, in the middle of the floor, waiting for me. Didn't run away. She had a lot of trepidation but that was understandable. From that point onward, she progressed dramatically with me (took a bit longer with my boyfriend). After a month, we finally felt it was ok to introduce her to our other cat and our home.

It's a very stressful thing to go through but very rewarding when you experience all the small steps, and it sounds like you already have had some. Keep doing what you are, I think you have a good grasp on the situation and keep us posted. Oh and photos when you can of course!

newbieneedshelp · Sep 9, 2013

You are a really nice person Stefan, you are there for everyone. Just felt I should say so.

newbieneedshelp · Sep 9, 2013

epidaurus said:
StefanZ, nccarol, thank you so much for your replies!

StefanZ, I bought a Feliway adapter this afternoon. After plugging it in, we left the kitten alone for three hours and just knocked and entered fifteen minutes ago. It on the window ledge! Unfortunately, we had no idea it was there. The point of the visit was to open the curtains and give the kitten a little evening light, so rustling the curtains scared it half to death. It's back under the bed. But perhaps that was a good sign? Maybe the Feliway adapter helped a little bit? We set a little spoonful of tuna down under the bed and together spent some minutes softly apologizing. I also turned on a reading light on my bookshelf. It's away from the bed, but now the kitten isn't in near-total darkness. I don't know if that's the right thing to do either. I'll take you up on the music!

I feel terrible that it's alone and scared, but both of you really calmed my nerves by reinforcing that all of this is normal. I can't thank you enough.

It's been 24 hours since the little one has eaten.

As an aside, we both have to come inside the room every night to sleep on the bed (while the kitten is hiding underneath). Do you guys think that's okay? We slept there last night (the first night), with the kitten hiding underneath, and nothing terrible happened. I just hope it isn't viewed as some kind of encroachment on its safe space.

Thank you both again!

You guys are absolutely adorable.

StefanZ · Sep 10, 2013

Newbieneedshelp said:
You are a really nice person Stefan, you are there for everyone. Just felt I should say so.

Oh, tx you! I appreciate it you say so! *blushing*

epidaurus · Sep 10, 2013

sivyaleah, no name for the kitten yet because we don't know its sex! We're floating around ideas though. Reading that your kitten went 36 hours without food made me feel a little better because...

...we fought today. The kitten was rescued on the 8th of September at 1:30 AM. Between then and now, it has eaten exactly one teaspoon of tuna fish and nothing else. She doesn’t think it has had any water (I can’t be sure). The litter box hasn’t been touched. Last night, it spent a few hours wailing. I cuddled an iPad and turned on soothing harp music once this started. It’s hard to escape the feeling that you’ve brought a helpless creature into your home to kill it, and that is, at present, the inescapable nightmare clouding this apartment.

She thinks we should capture it somehow, possibly today (I don’t know how, since the food can’t be used as lure) and take it to the vet. I think the teaspoon of tuna is encouraging, since it hasn’t, technically, eaten nothing. I think this came across as me not being worried when I was only trying to ease her mind. I am incredibly worried. Yesterday I bought a little cardboard scratching post. We scattered Temptations around the room.

I totally agree with ShadowsRescue. Your posts, mini lowen, have made us laugh out loud several times. A lot of things in this thread have!

That's all I was going to say today, actually, but the debacle this morning about how we're potentially killing this defenseless creature has cut and drained us both.

sivyaleah · Sep 10, 2013

I hope, you are offering more food than just tuna. Perhaps the kitten isn't interested in it and would like something more appealing to their tastes. Barely cooked chicken, is always a big winner in our home when the kitties don't feel well - for some reason they will always eat this. You can try baby food also, only the ones which are pure meat with no garlic/onions/flavoring added (I think it's Gerber Stage 2?). Most cats seems to find this extremely likable. Warming food up a bit might help too - "mouse" temperature as it is. If this cat has been only eating live prey, it may not recognize other foods yet as being "ok". Fancy Feast Classics are another one that most cats enjoy also.

Once it is eating regularly you can then incorporate the right cat food for him/her - with the proper nutrients but right now you want to just get it eating.

While not ideal, there are many stories of cats not eating for a day or 2 here when first brought home. However, I would start to get concerned soon as cats really can not go long without food before developing a problem with their liver, which can be difficult to deal with. You may have to wind up force feeding this little one - if it goes much further. I do think you should bring it to the vet anyway - as there could be a medical reason why it isn't eating also let alone, a cat should be vetted regardless, most especially one that has been living on the streets.

Hoping he/she starts to gain some interest in food soon but please don't put off seeking medical attention either. And remember, this kitten is feral and is going to be much more wary of humans than one that was raised around them. Have patience, but don't hesitate to do what is necessary.

BTW - you probably can catch her if you block off a lot of her hiding places and only leave one or two which are accessible to you. Luckily you have her in a separate room which should make it easier. She may put up a fight, so be calm but wear something with heavy sleeves and a pair of gloves, just in case.

epidaurus · Sep 10, 2013

sivyaleah, thank you for your reply! I'm going to go and get some baby food now, and am scribbling down what you've prescribed. Warming it up is a great idea. Food-wise, the room has Gourmet Blend dry food in a bowl, canned (wet) cat food on a plastic lid, scattered Temptations, and tuna fish. There's also a bowl of water.

My girlfriend is one of the calmest people I know. She also grew up in a home with cats. Seeing her freaked out is freaking me out. She mentioned liver failure this morning. I also read something, somewhere here, about a person using a little syringe wrapped in a towel to feed a kitten. Maybe it was Newbieneedshelp? I might try that. I suppose if nothing works today, we will somehow get this kitten to the vet tonight or tomorrow.

Thanks again for the tips!

peaches08 · Sep 10, 2013

Total stab in the dark here, but what about jingling the keys and putting the food down where kitty can see it? It's something he/she already knows about you. Have water and litter box maybe in a hidden area so it will use them and feel safe.

And sorry, but I LMAO at the curtain story!

sivyaleah · Sep 10, 2013

You know something just jumped out at me.

How close is the litter box to the food source? I know in general, cats do not like to have these two near each other, but I read the other day that there should be at the very least a 5' minimum distance between the 2 items. And of course, further the better and the box, as hidden as possible.

The fact that your GF is experienced with cats is a good thing.

Oh and I love Peaches idea of the keys jangling. I have a small colony of ferals where I park my car, a few people including me feed them (I'm the treat lady lol), and I use my car keys as a way to let them know I'm coming.

Grateful for any advice

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