I feel so guilty still

I found an abandoned one day old kitten on Sunday Aug4th.  Monday Aug 5th, I found a surrogate mother for her at the local shelter because I thought it was extremely important to get cat's milk than the KMR.  The mama cat rejected her by Wednesday and I went and picked her up.  She was active and was nursing fine.  Only problem I noticed was that she was having hard stools.   She was fine that Friday morning.  I fed her at 9:30am and that was her last time.  She wouldn't nurse at 11:30 am and I called a vet tech who takes care of orphan kittens, she told me that she probably won't make it.  I tried feeding her with a syringe and that didn't work either.  I tried to feed her until 8:30 pm, but she was not responsive after that.  I just held her and kept her warm.  She died at 11:15 pm Friday night.  It's been 3 weeks and I feel so terrible still.  I became so attached to this newborn. Could I have done anything else?  Was taking her to the shelter to a surrogate mother a mistake? Marshmallow, we named her.

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No matter how hard you try, sometimes it's just not possible to save a kitten's precious life. You did all that you could, and she knew love in her short life.
RIP, Marshmallow, you've left paw prints on a human heart.

Thank you for your support jcat. 

jcat is right, sometimes our best is not enough. You did everything you could, I think the mama cat was a great idea. I'm so glad the tiny one had a little love in her short life, so many don't. It's impossible not to feel guilty at a time like this, but believe us when we tell you you did all you could. You went above and beyond what most people would have done, please be proud to have tried. I pray little Marshmallow is at peace now, at least she was loved and named.

Hello,

I'm very sorry about the loss of your tiny one. I understand about feeling guilt. I'm struggling with that severely right now. My only answer for the moment is we have to realize we are only human and did the best we could at the time and that if we lost our babies it doesn't mean we didn't love them or care about them nor does it mean we were neglectful or did something wrong. We did our best. I'm trying to get to this place. It's been eight days since my Bella died suddenly in a freak accident. She was just becoming an adult. I'm playing the "what if" game with myself. I've arranged to talk with someone who works with bereavement (people and pets). I hope some objectivity and the love and support here will help me work though the guilt, shock, etc. Bless you. You're little one was fortunate to have you in their life.

Jlc20m

Don't feel guilty,  you did what you could.  It is normal to second guess but at the time,  trying to see if a foster cat mom would accept her WAS the best idea.   It is hard to keep fragile baby kittens alive and usually if a mother cat will take them,  it is their best chance. 

If the kitten wasn't able to  nurse,  the other thing to try would have been tube feeding.   but there is no guarantee that would have saved her.    It might be this kitten had something wrong with  her  and that's why that mother cat rejected her. 

At least she got some comfort and love in her short little life,  thanks to your kindness. 

RIP little Marshmallow

jlc20m said:

Hello,

I'm very sorry about the loss of your tiny one. I understand about feeling guilt. I'm struggling with that severely right now. My only answer for the moment is we have to realize we are only human and did the best we could at the time and that if we lost our babies it doesn't mean we didn't love them or care about them nor does it mean we were neglectful or did something wrong. We did our best. I'm trying to get to this place. It's been eight days since my Bella died suddenly in a freak accident. She was just becoming an adult. I'm playing the "what if" game with myself. I've arranged to talk with someone who works with bereavement (people and pets). I hope some objectivity and the love and support here will help me work though the guilt, shock, etc. Bless you. You're little one was fortunate to have you in their life.

Jlc20m

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Please don't blame yourself.  I had something similar happen to me with my cat Bunny.  I adopted him from a shelter in Chicago.  Although I had other cats that I loved very much in my life, he was my baby.  He was 9 years old and just been for check-up and shots and the vet said he looked great.  Two weeks after his well check, while being brushed he fell over his side and we rushed him to emergency.  He stayed at the hospital over night and in the morning I was told that he needed to be euthanized.  All I could do was hug and kiss him as he went to his forever sleep.  You were there for your sweet baby.  I showed her pictures you posted to my 9 year old boy and we agreed how adorable she was.  Especially the one where she's sitting on the couch.  You will get through this.  She was so lucky to have such a loving Mom like you.