Knowing Your Limits

Once upon a time, not too long ago, I was in dire financial straits. Long story short, I wasn't really even in a position to care for my dog or cats. But I made it work, partly through temporary fosters (during times of homelessness), and pulled through. I had a stroke of luck and came into some money, and am now settled as nicely as any young person could ask for.

Through this terrible process, I met a woman who fostered my five cats, and we have been friends since. She is very active with the rehabilitation of ferals, despite being low-income. She just gives and gives, and is a true role model! She also often posts on FB ads for kitties that are in need of help, usually about to be euthanized in NYC or NC (we live in MA).

I never would've dreamed of taking any of them (okay, okay, I dreamed) back when I was so unstable myself. But now that I'm settled, I see these postings, and it makes me want to die inside, because I just want to help all of them! One in particular has caught my attention, because it's not through a kill shelter, but rather a private owner. He/she is giving away their cat, or euthanizing in two weeks if a home cannot be found for him. He is five years old and diabetic. They're moving and "can't take him." No need for me to elaborate on what I think of this nonsense.

Anyway, I am not a rescue. I'm just a young woman who hates to see suffering. But I also recognize that I need to know my own limits. I'm also Bipolar, so impulse control is exceptionally difficult for me. (It's how I ended up with my first cat in university, even though I wasn't allowed to have one... hahaha whoops. I got away with it, but that's another story entirely.)

For those of you who are, like me, constantly made aware of cats in need... how do you bear it? How do you say no? How do you know your own limits and where to you draw the line?

It's wonderful that you want to rescue all the kitties, but you're right, there have to be limits. The first thing you do is take a few minutes to think about your own cats. What effect will it have on them if you start bringing in more cats, even if it's temporary fostering?

I have 7 cats who were all getting along pretty well together (most of the time). My niece asked me to take one of her cats while she was stationed overseas because her mother didn't want to take both cats. Of course I said yes. Bad decision. I had her cat for 10 months until my sister finally agreed to take him back.

The poor kitty really wanted to make friends, but none of mine would have anything to do with him, even after almost a year. He started peeing all over the house, new behavior for him. Two of mine followed suit. Vet bills checking for UTIs, plus the expense of buying more cleaning supplies. The extra cat has been gone for 10 months now and I'm still having issues with peeing outside the box. One of my kitties just pees wherever she happens to be when she gets upset.

One of my cats got a bad scratch before I could break up a cat fight. More vet bills to clear up the infection.

One of my cats has chronic herpes, with extreme flare-ups whenever he's the least bit stressed. $$$$ spent trying to get the herpes under control. He's doing much better now, but it's an ongoing battle.

So, look at your situation. Do you have any kitties who don't handle change or stress well? Do you have space to keep rescue cats completely separated from yours? Do you have the financial resources for ongoing care plus expenses for unexpected issues that might arise?

There are a number of things you can do that don't involve taking in new rescues yourself. Find an established organization where you can volunteer. That might be a local shelter or a TNR group. If you know someone who is trying to set up a new rescue or TNR, see if you can work with them rather than trying to do it all on your own.

Good luck with whatever route you choose to go.

I have to agree with Goldy. All very good points, & things for you to think about. Perhaps you can help this person connect w/ a rescue group to take her cat instead. The fact that you are asking, I think proves you already know the answer to your question.  Even if it's an answer you don't like.

It's good that you recognize your limits though.

I remind myself how unfair it would be to the cat(s) in question if I bit off more than I could chew. And then from time to time I pick up an extra can for the local shelter.