I haven't watched the video Franksmom gave the link to but in terms of 'holding' an 'iffy' cat (I love your description) I could never master any of the towel, bag or general upper limb one or two person holds with my pensioner Pal - she hated being physically controlled and until she was very frail and arthritic she was very strong and impossible to hold. I had to use a full body technique that I devised for my self - although I later discovered I was using a. well known 'pin down' hold for cats!
Works very well for giving any oral medication / oral administered treatments, and if you needed to you could probably use it for front claw clipping (Pal was fine about that and would lay like a baby on my lap or let me clip while she sat beside me).
Have whatever medication / food / clippers you require next to you and ready to use. You kneel on the floor, cat facing forwards between your knees. You knees and lower legs should be on either side of your cat, knees slightly parted and then bring in so you are pressing gently on to each side of the cat and your feet brought together at the back so your cat can't shuffle or shoot backwards to escape. Have one or two hands as necessary gently in front of your cat's breast bone so that it knows it is secure (and position hands in such a way to avoid bites and minimize front leg movement if you think these will happen). Sit down on to your lower legs/heals as closely as you can given your cat's size. This brings your cat in to a sitting position, held firmly but not tightly from the back, side, top, bottom, and front - it uses your full body weight and major muscle groups for control and not just upper limbs. You are gently holding the cat with large surfaces and not just hands and arms that might grip and cause more discomfort. At no time should the cat feel it is being squashed or gripped so is hopefully less likely to panic or try to struggle other than in avoiding what ever mouth contact you are needing to carry out. As you are holding the cat firmly without using your upper limbs you are in a good position to continue the front hold while angling your cat's head up and press at the corners of the jaw to open the mouth as necessary. If you still need a second person to administer any food or medication in to the mouth this can then be done while you hold the cat's head and paws in place. In fact with this hold I managed all medication on my own. It also means you are in a position to continue to hold your cat for a little time e.g. if you need to ensure that something has been swallowed.
Good luck.
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It's lovely to hear she's picked up on the eating and poop looking OK. Still got our fingers and paws crossed for her though.
