I killed my feral...

I wrote a preious post aobut 2 ferals losing weight.   I was in teh process of trapping the one...  when the 2nd crossed my street 2 nights ago and was hit and killed.    I of course was very upset and didnt know she was even doing that - but I do know my neighbor there feeds 2 ferals.

My neighbor on this side has been feeding our ferals in the AM and myself in the PM.   We both noticed the weight loss in both although she said they were eating in the AM... whereas they wouldnt eat much if at all for me.   The smaller one would watch and I just assumed she was waiting for hte others to leave.

All this seriously hit me in the middle of the night last night that it could be the food.  I switched back about 2 months ago to what they were eating for 3 years.    So this AM i fed them for my neighbor (first time in months) and he didnt eat at all and actually ran after me as I left.  SO..... I  got the food my indoor cats eat... and he devoured it.

I feel so stupid and so horrible.  IT would be an actual wonderful discovery had I just realized this and started feeding them food they would eat.... BUT knowing the one is now dead due to my stupidity is very difficult to deal with and Im more upset now than the last 2 days.

Please don't beat yourself up about this. I doubt your not knowing what food they liked had anything to do with the 2nd cat running across the street. She has probably been doing so for a very long time, and would have done it even if she ate what you had. You were doing your best for them, that's all you can do. Sorry you lost her.

So very very sorry for you loss. I know you must be feeling so very sad.  It wasn't your fault and you were doing the very best for the cats.  Without your help they would have had a life of hunger.