For Wilbur - A heavenly gift.

kookycats

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Your story was so unbelievably beautiful. I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face. Thank you for sharing!
 
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feralvr

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I am sorry I can't write too much right now..... My mind is in a fog.... I am tired, I am grieving.... I don't quite know what to write about this just yet -
All my love to you......

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Aw hun, thank you for taking the time to read. No words needed, I know what is in your heart. I know you are going through a lot yourself. :hugs: TONS and tons and tons of vibes coming your way. :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes: :heart3: :hugs: :alright:
 
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feralvr

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Finally after weeks of waiting, Wilbur was in a dream last night. It made me cry all over again but it was wonderful to see him and touch him because that is how I felt, that I held him one more time. :bawling: I did not want to wake up and I will never forget the dream. Larry, myself and Henry were in the dream and oddly enough my parents were there for a time and my mom was calling to me to come and finish watching the movie. :slant: I remember Wilbur running up to my mother and jumping up to be pet. (my parents were just here a week ago and my mother did a memorial service in his honor, maybe she was in the dream so he could thank her??) Anyway, Wilbur was healthy, fat, happy and playful and his usual loving self. I cry as I write this. It was so vivid. After a short time, he left through an open door leading to ???????, stopped and looked back happily and then dashed out the door. :sobbing: It still hurts so much and I miss him so terribly. I hope to see him much more often, in my dreams. :sleep: :Shooting Star: :Moon: :Tilt Heart:

Oddly, yesterday morning the tattoo on the inside of my left forearm of Wilbur's paw in a heart was stinging and itching. It has never done anything like that before after it healed up two years ago. I scratched it and it became raised with uneven hives and ONLY inside the tattoo right up to the edge. The whole heart shaped tattoo was swollen and uneven and none of the skin surrounding and just outside of the tattoo was affected. :dk: I was very worried wondering how I could be having a reaction after two years of having the tattoo and of course, thought the worst thinking I was all of the sudden allergic to it. :rolleyes: I put nothing on it and it went down about an hour later, back to normal. I met my daughter for lunch later and mentioned it to her. She said that she thought it was Wilbur sending me a message of some sort. :lol2: I didn't think anything like that, but after having that dream last night, I have to wonder.
 
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feralvr

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Today is the one year anniversary of Wilbur's death. A tough year it has been for me trying to deal with life without him. Not one day has gone by that I have not thought of him multiple times each day, missing him. I never knew how very hard it would hit me and for how long but today I am letting go of my grief after all of this time. I spent part of the day in our bedroom where he was set free last year meditating, reminiscing, and just thinking about our life together. Henry, Wilbur's brother, is still with us but not doing so well. Ironically, he became sick shortly after Wilbur died with a few health issues all at once. Henry spent time with me in the bedroom as well today. We talked all about Wilbur together. :heart3: :heart2: It was actually a very enlightening day for me and from this day forward I plan to move past this sadness that has taken a hold of me to a better place of joy, happiness and love. Part of how I came to this was because of something my cousin shared with the family at my uncle's funeral reception a couple of weeks ago.

She said that when you love someone so deeply and they return that love for years and years and then that person passes on the love has to go somewhere. It gets returned to you here on earth - they don't take it with them. You take ALL of that love and then give it outwardly to other's and share that love. It is the circle of Love, as I called it. It continues on forever and ever in honor of that loved one. I loved Wilbur SO very much and he returned that great love back to me. It went round and round for years that we were together. Now I have all of that love returned to me from him - his gift back to me when he left this earth. Now, it is time to spread that love EVERYWHERE. :heart3:

:heart3: I WILL always love you, will always miss you, will always remember you, you will be in my heart forever, Wilbur.:heart3: But, now I am freeing myself of the heavy heart and grief and will from this day forward, celebrate your life and gift to me.
 
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feralvr

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That's a wonderful attitude and way to commemorate Wilbur's life. :)
Lauren that's lovely.  It may be a year, but things must still be raw for you at times  :hugs:
Thank you both. :hugs: I am keeping up with that attitude to share the love and it IS helping so much. I am really feeling much stronger this week than I have in the past year in regards to losing Wilbur, so the raw feeling is healing over with a great, great love "scab". :lol3: :lol2: I know that must sound silly but it seems to be working for me, anyway.:rbheart: :heart3: :heart3: :heart3: :heart2: :heart3: :heart3: :heart3: :rbheart:

I wonder when Wilbur will call his brother, Henry, home. Shortly after Wilbur died, Henry became ill with a few health issues that are progressing. I even thought we may lose him the other day on Wilbur's Anniversary. Henry was always SO healthy all of the years before this one. We take it one day at a time with Henry right now.

p.s. The Resurrection Lillies that bloomed immediately after Wilbur's death last July 29 have not been seen yet this year. I keep checking, but no flowers. I truly believe that the flowers were Wilbur's way of telling me that he is alright, that he loves me, and that he will see me again AND not to worry AND to live my life to the fullest. Hey - it only took a year for me to get started. :lol3:
 

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It doesn't sound silly at all, Lauren. Grief - as we all know - has no timeline. I'm so so so glad for you that you're finding a way to transform yours. :heart2: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

:rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart: :rbheart:
 
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feralvr

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Wow wat an amazing story made me cry blesd you xx
Aw, thank you, Sharon. :touch: Wilbur certainly was an angel :angel: on this earth. Touched so many lives, and magic happened all around him. He definitely touched all who met him. Really special dog. :heart3:
 
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feralvr

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I sit at the keyboard this morning and don't even know how to get started with what has recently happened. I want to write this because now I feel this will finalize Wilbur's thread. An end to an era - so to speak. :sigh:

OK - here goes.

All of the following just came to the night of Henry's death. It all fell into place the sequence of events that came before this.

End of May. I volunteered at the shelter for the "Empty the Shelter Weekend". There was this little - three year old - crazy, Jack Russell Terrier girl. I DID NOT WANT HER!!! :lol3: And did everything I could to get her adopted. ON free day, she was STILL there, so I waited in line to adopt her. As I was sitting filling out the paper work with a nervous stomach feeling like WHAT THE "H" am I doing. A family in line said there were there to adopt the Jack Russell Girl. I ran out thinking to myself. OK - now I can get out of this and let this family adopt her. The adoption counselor said to me "come back in my office, please" with a big smile on her face. She said that family came to see "Opal" a few days ago BUT their other dog HATED Opal and they would not have allowed them to adopt her anyway. So, I kept filling out the paperwork to adopt this Opal. On the way home, she barked and barked in her crate. I almost turned around to go back and say forget it thinking she would be too much for all of us at home. But, we made it to the house and the barking stopped once in the garage. :lol3: I soon found out that she was barking at "light relections" and has OCD with beams of lights. :flail: NO PROBLEM. I can deal with that and know how to manage an issue such as that. Now, she has become an integral part of our family and wiggled her way into our hearts, PLUS loves the cats which the shelter said she was a cat hater. :nono: You can never be sure until you actually get them out of the shelter environment anyway. She LOVES my cats and even plays gently with them. Perkins is her favorite.

Herbie - the Chihuahua - who came to us by Wilbur's doing (we believe) as a temp. grief counselor to me back then but MOSTLY as a companion for Henry whom was so depressed over losing his brother. I do not have a connection with Herbie, loved him of course but there was something missing and now I know why. Recently, last month, Herbie stayed at a very good friend's house while we were recently in Door County and she fell in love with him. Her Italian Greyhound loved Herbie too. SO - we had solidified that Herbie would be going to Beth's house permanently on Wednesday, September 3. It was all set in stone.

The past week, for some reason unbeknownst to me other than pure joy, Wilbur was in some of my dreams along with Henry !!!! I was so happy about that. Now I know why.

Henry left this earth and was called home by Wilbur two days ago. Tuesday, September 2. Henry had some sort of stroke/seizure that crippled up his front legs. Just froze them. I swooped him up to check him out and realized that this was serious, very serious. Called Larry who never made it time to say goodbye from work in the city. I drove to the vet with Henry in my lap sobbing the whole way. Henry was completely calm, serene and had his wits about him and was completely coherent but knew this was not good. When we arrived, Henry was looking around for TREATS while we walked through to the exam room. He actually loved going to the vet for treats. That dog LOVED food. Dr. Molly said most likely that he had a growing brain tumor and that was what started the seizures in April. He was on medication also for his enlarged heart, and fluid in his lungs. It was time to let him go. I held him in my arms like a baby all the while as he gazed up at me and I at him. I fed him loads of special treats as he received his first injection which he gobbled up. Henry never refused a cookie. The tears flowed from my eyes and dripped on his face. I saw the light go out of his eyes and it felt like he went right through me. I KNOW Wilbur was there too because at the last minute, Henry gazed up over my head. :bawling: He was gone - gone to be with Wilbur, his loving brother, together forever. :heart3:

I BELIEVE that Wilbur came for Henry the day before Herbie was due to leave because he knew that Herbie's job was done here once Henry had left. It was all set in motion and a plan was to be and fulfilled. Wilbur coming to me in the dreams this last week was his way of TRYING :lol2: to let me know that he was coming for Henry soon.

I also think I now know what the number of resurrection lilies means. Of course, you can play around with numbers BUT THIS truly has to mean something. There were Five that bloomed first with five plumes in each. The five meant - the fifth month of the year MAY. Five plumes on each five makes 25. I met Hannah (new JRT) on May 25. The sixth flower that bloomed on the day Wilbur was cremated four days after he died plus the first five could signify another five days added on to the already 25 which would make 30. I adopted Hannah on May 30 Also - - on her papers/records, she was brought into the shelter as a stray on MAY 16..... 5 flowers + 1 flower = 6. hence May 16 Bizarre, I know.... There HAS to be something to the number of flowers, order of blooming and correlating dates to Hannah. Amazing. :9:

I know that sounds a bit off the wall but somehow this all came to be when ONE of the dreams Wilbur showed me the flowers and that they have something to do with numbers and dates. I am in complete and utter awe. Wilbur IS STILL such a driving, magical, angelic force in our lives.

This loss. Henry's loss. It has hit me harder than anything before only because I think when I lost Wilbur, I still had his brother, Henry. I almost feel now that I am grieving both together. I have never felt such despair, sadness, loss and panic. I know I will survive. For now, I am just trying to get through the day, going through the motions of life. I will never be the same and my heart is missing some pieces and I know those will only be returned when we all meet again, someday. :rbheart: :heart3: :Wings: :Shooting Star: :heart2: :Raindrops: :rbheart:

Some pictures of Henry and one of Wilbur/Henry in the stroller.

And, I would be remiss, if I did not include a picture of Hannah Banana. We are grateful she had three months with Henry. He taught her well too. :heart2: She misses him, I can tell.

Henry on left. Hannah on right

Hannah missing Henry under their blanket.
 
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wasabipea

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I'm so sorry for your loss
 , and that "end of an era" feeling. When Roni got so sick, right after losing Len... I felt that way since they were adopted days apart and together for 18 yrs - they were always together, they were always "them" - if I had lost her immediately follwing him, while I would have been heartbroken beyond words - I would have understood on some level.

Your signs are chilling, and very special. I love the pic of Wilbur and Henry in their stroller! They are truly siblings - they look so much alike right down to the expressions on their faces, and boy you can tell that they loved each other (and their caretaker, you an see that in their eyes too).

Amazing the signs that you receive, that doesn't happen to just anyone. They must be of great comfort to you during your painful time of loss.


(Off topic a little: I don't know your take on body art, but that has all the markings of an amazing custom piece by a true, talented tattoo artist: intertwined resurrection lilies, intermingled with varying shades/sizes of pawprints and possibly work the collars into the stems of the lilies - or a "bow" or something. I'd run with that artistically, I think it would translate beautifully into a visual piece of any media and make for a beautiful tribute. Off topic, sorry)
 

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My heart is with you as you face your new era with Hannah and your cats.  Amazing how our animal companions past and present can help us see what is happening in our world and to make sense of it.  I am sure Henry and Wilbur will keep a watchful eye over you for some time to come.

I can relate to the loss you feel now with Henry as I felt similarly when I lost the second of my two sister cats; somehow my loss was more complete and final once they were together again.  


 

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Lauren, first of all, I'm so so so so sorry Henry was called. There's just never enough time with them. And I'm especially sorry Larry wasn't able to make it in time to say good bye. :heart2: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

But my goodness, I'm just amazed at and soooooo filled with emotion at the incredible connection you and :rbheart: Wilbur :rbheart: had - and still have. :heart2: :heart3: :heart2: What a special, special bond and sooooo much love. He is just a miracle and a gift, and will always be an angel of light whenever things are dark. Love clearly transcends both time and space. :heart2: :Shooting Star: :heart2: :Wings: :heart2: :Shooting Star: :heart2:

Wow, just WOW!

At the same time, my heart is shattered for you. With that much love, of course the grief is overwhelming. It's just impossible not to miss their physical beings.

:rbheart: Henry :rbheart:
:rbheart: Wilbur :rbheart:


:grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2:
:grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2:
:grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2:
:grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2:
:grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2:
 
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feralvr

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(Off topic a little: I don't know your take on body art, but that has all the markings of an amazing custom piece by a true, talented tattoo artist: intertwined resurrection lilies, intermingled with varying shades/sizes of pawprints and possibly work the collars into the stems of the lilies - or a "bow" or something. I'd run with that artistically, I think it would translate beautifully into a visual piece of any media and make for a beautiful tribute. Off topic, sorry)
Not at all as you will see. Got this one three years ago. Wilbur's actual pawprint size and shading into a heart on my left forearm. I had this one done soon after he became quite ill. He lasted another two years after the tattoo of the heart.

I already have an appt. in two weeks which was made six months ago with a great, great tattoo artist (books up months in advance) to add the lilies surrounding the heart. The collars OMG - are an excellent addition to the little angel on my back left shoulder blade. Larry was thinking I should do something for Henry too and I had NO idea what to do. The collars.......... brilliant.......... with their name tags....... and the sixth resurrection lilly. Five will go with their plumes delicately, daintily and beautifully around the heart tattoo on my arm. The sixth one can go on my back left shoulder adding in the collars/tags, etc. near the small angel. Thank you, Wendy. More than you know.
 
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feralvr

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. Love clearly transcends both time and space. :heart2: :Shooting Star: :heart2: :Wings: :heart2: :Shooting Star: :heart2:

Wow, just WOW!

At the same time, my heart is shattered for you. With that much love, of course the grief is overwhelming. It's just impossible not to miss their physical beings.

:rbheart: Henry :rbheart:
:rbheart: Wilbur :rbheart:
Laurie - I love that about love... seems spiritual love can even be much stronger and does transcend time and space, and NOTHING will nor can stop that. I feel it - Wilbur more than ever this past week.

:alright: Sweetie - I thank you for your tears for me and for Henry but please don't be sad because then I will be sad that you are :lol2: . I will be alright, in time, I HAVE to be. Furkids count on me. I just need time to absorb, adjust to life, and learn how to go on. I have been a caretaker for over three years now - on a daily basis. Two for Wilbur and this last for Henry. I will be able to find my way and see that there is a whole wide world out there to explore. ;) :lol3: I cared for those boys so completely and my daily life revolved around their schedules, needs, and care. In a weird way, I am free of that BUT don't know how to handle it yet. Feeling empty for so many reasons.
 

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I already have an appt. in two weeks which was made six months ago with a great, great tattoo artist (books up months in advance) to add the lilies surrounding the heart. The collars OMG - are an excellent addition to the little angel on my back left shoulder blade. Larry was thinking I should do something for Henry too and I had NO idea what to do. The collars.......... brilliant.......... with their name tags....... and the sixth resurrection lilly. Five will go with their plumes delicately, daintily and beautifully around the heart tattoo on my arm. The sixth one can go on my back left shoulder adding in the collars/tags, etc. near the small angel. Thank you, Wendy. More than you know.
How beautiful, and that your appointment is in 2 weeks is another thing meant to be. 
 
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