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- Aug 13, 2013
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This is the week I have dreaded for 16.5 years - ever since I adopted my beloved cat. I have made the agonizing decision to end her suffering and I can't stop crying. I need to talk to people who love their cats the way I do and understand my heartache. I feel as though I am going crazy with grief.
Kitty is the only pet I have ever had. I adopted her in college, right after I moved out of my parents' home. She has been my faithful companion through numerous jobs, moves, and stages of life. She went in for dental surgery in May and was diagnosed with oral squamous cell carcinoma. The vet estimated she had 2-4 months to live.
We are now nearing the four month mark. I (with the help of my husband) have cared for her, nursed her, cleaned her, and worried over her every cough. I have agonized over whether she was in pain, whether I had done enough to help her, whether there was any more I could possibly do. I feel now that she is in pain and I am keeping her alive (on pain medications) because I don't want to make the difficult decision to have her taken from me. I have begged God to take her peacefully without having the burden on my shoulders, but that has not happened.
I am at the point where I feel agony either way. I agonize looking at her - feeling that she hurts, seeing how dirty she is no matter what I do to keep her clean, seeing the difficulty she has breathing and swallowing. I also agonize about having her put to sleep. Her body is failing her but she still has her personality. She still eats and goes to the bathroom - am I making this decision to early? I fear the moment when the vet comes to the house. Will she show a great burst of energy? Will she be afraid? Will she feel as her one caregiver through life has let her down?
I know in my heart that this is the time, but I agonize over what I have to do. My husband just made the appointment for the vet to come to our house tomorrow. Please help, anyone.
Kitty is the only pet I have ever had. I adopted her in college, right after I moved out of my parents' home. She has been my faithful companion through numerous jobs, moves, and stages of life. She went in for dental surgery in May and was diagnosed with oral squamous cell carcinoma. The vet estimated she had 2-4 months to live.
We are now nearing the four month mark. I (with the help of my husband) have cared for her, nursed her, cleaned her, and worried over her every cough. I have agonized over whether she was in pain, whether I had done enough to help her, whether there was any more I could possibly do. I feel now that she is in pain and I am keeping her alive (on pain medications) because I don't want to make the difficult decision to have her taken from me. I have begged God to take her peacefully without having the burden on my shoulders, but that has not happened.
I am at the point where I feel agony either way. I agonize looking at her - feeling that she hurts, seeing how dirty she is no matter what I do to keep her clean, seeing the difficulty she has breathing and swallowing. I also agonize about having her put to sleep. Her body is failing her but she still has her personality. She still eats and goes to the bathroom - am I making this decision to early? I fear the moment when the vet comes to the house. Will she show a great burst of energy? Will she be afraid? Will she feel as her one caregiver through life has let her down?
I know in my heart that this is the time, but I agonize over what I have to do. My husband just made the appointment for the vet to come to our house tomorrow. Please help, anyone.