Scared stray I've been socializing for 6 weeks is regressing, and I don't know why . . .

I'm so glad to find this forum, and am so very open to any thoughts/feedback/ideas about my kitty problem!

Here's the scoop: A little kitty about 3-4 months old showed up in my yard about 9 weeks ago.  At first I thought he was feral, but then his behavior made me think he was maybe a scared stray (e.g., no problem approaching my partner and me for food, and liked to be near us from the beginning, although he didn't want to be touched). 

We humanely trapped him and had him neutered & vaccinated 6 weeks ago today, and returned him to his life on our porch and in our yard.  In the weeks since the surgery, I was able to work up to daily touching, and even daily petting, during his meal times and also sometimes when he was sleepy he would accept affection, including tilting his head back in bliss while I would pet his nose and forehead.

Now... this whole time he has been living on our porch, he has been contending with other neighborhood animals - un-neutered male cats as well as a few dogs that routinely get loose from their enclosed yard and have come onto the porch and startled our little guy.  Up until a few days ago, his tactic was to run and hide from these animals, often spending his nights under some thick foliage at the edge of our yard, only returning to our porch after sunrise.  Many mornings he would come back to the porch for breakfast acting a little nervous and looking over his shoulder, but would be able to shake it off pretty quickly and allow me to pet him as he ate.

Three nights ago, however, something different happened: My partner peeked out the window to check on our boy, and we were surprised to see him sleeping on his favorite raised perch on our porch as one of the neighborhood tomcats was also on the porch, drinking from his water dish.  In the same breath, one of the dogs started running towards our yard, and as my partner was shooing these animals away, our boy jumped down and chased after the tomcat who is twice his size (!).  Then he returned and slept all night on his perch, seemingly refusing to give up his favorite spot to hide in the bushes all night. 

And here is where things get confusing: Even though he has slept for three nights now on the porch vs hiding in the bushes, which seems like some sort of progress, he has regressed in another way, to the point of now rejecting all touch from human hands.  Whereas for at least 2 weeks before this I was able to pet him freely during meal times, he is now hissing at me pretty fiercely with even the slightest movement of my hands - which is something he hadn't done over the past 3-4 weeks.  I don't know whether to think he is just feeling more defensive/protective of his food now b/c of his confrontation w/ the other animals on the porch, or if he has just entered a bratty "teenager" stage where he is asserting more independence, or something else entirely (?). 

I don't want to give up on trying to socialize him, as my partner and I will be moving from our home in several months and are very concerned about leaving this little guy behind, as he has been dependent on us for food from such a young age and seems to have no hunting skills.  We have been thinking of transitioning him inside when the weather turns cold in the Fall, so that he can then go with us when we move, but now I'm wondering if this is even a realistic thing to pursue, given his recent regression that shows no signs of budging.  He still likes to engage with us for play (he has a favorite toy on a stick/string), and still seems to like being near us... but I am perplexed about what has him so scared all of a sudden about human hands, and what I can do about it to help him regain his previous progress with this.

All thoughts are welcome here.  Thanks so much!  [emoji]9829[/emoji]

Gosh, it is so hard to know what has changed. It could be many things. I'm wondering if he had a bad encounter lately with some other human(s) that is making him afraid of hands. He clearly does trust you if he likes/tolerates being near you and likes play sessions. Maybe he is being protective of his food, so maybe try petting him when he's not eating? Will be tolerate brushing? Some feral cats like being petted with some object (toy or brush) but not hands for quite some time.

It is strange that he did tolerate/enjoy being petted before but is now scared of it. I wouldn't give up on him and just keep trying. Just spend time with him and let him approach you for petting at his own pace.

It seems to me that he is staking out his territory.  Your deck and surrounding property are now his and he wants the tomcat to know.  My outdoor feral/now not so feral! cat will stick to my deck like glue when other cats are prowling around.  He wants to protect what is his.  He also may have been spooked or frightened by this cat or another.  I have found that my feral/now not so feral cat will go through regressions whenever he is frightened or something bad happens to him.  He will ignore me, run from me, hide and only come out at dawn/dusk.  It takes him awhile, but he eventually returns to his old self.  During these periods I find flower essences to be very helpful.  Feral cat rehab from Spirit Essences is wonderful as is Rescue remedy.  You can place it in wet food, spray around his territory or place a few drops on his fur. I always talk to my animals too.  I do think they can understand at some level.  Assure him that this is his space and how you know it can be frightening to have other cats and dogs invading his space. 

Do you know if the tomcat is owned?  If not, trapping him and getting him neutered would really help the tom to calm down and not be so aggressive and territorial.  I would be concerned about dogs, but as long as your cat has an escape route, he should be ok.
 

Thank you both so much for this feedback.  I am happy to report that things have already improved, even since I posted this morning!  My partner (a nurse) came home from work today and noticed that our boy's face, around his eye, seems to have some mild edema, which may mean he has an eye or sinus infection that is causing him to not feel well and to be more defensive.  So, she is currently out getting a trap, and we are taking him for a check-up tomorrow to see what's going on there.

Also, happily, I realized that part of the problem also may have been ME!  I suffer from a chronic illness that at times leaves me in so much pain that it is difficult to move or even speak normally, and over the past several days I have been flared up pretty badly.  I didn't even realize until this afternoon (when I have started noticing that I feel better) that I haven't been quite myself in terms of how I interact w/ the little kitty guy - i.e., normally I am very effusive and affectionate and reassuring in how I talk to him (a natural instinct from being around cats my whole life), and I didn't even realize just how "not myself" I've been until this afternoon when I felt better and the gooey, loving kitty-speak started happening again naturally.  He responded very well to that and almost instantly I was able to touch him again!  Little guy must have sensed that I wasn't acting quite right, and maybe it made him nervous.

Lesson learned: Sometimes it's US, not the cat! 
 

I am glad to hear that things are better already. Cats can be very sensitive to the emotions around them, so it's not surprising he was reacting to your pain. I am glad you are feeling better as well.

Oh, and we love cat pictures around here, so if you have any to share...

So happy things are better.  Animals do have a way of picking up on our emotions.  I know when my household is in chaos my outdoor kitties are always extra cautious. 

Would love to see some pics!
 

Thanks for the support.  Much appreciated!  I can go you one better on the pics: Here is a video from a few weeks ago of our boy and his first store-bought toy.   


 

He is absolutely adorable!  Thank you for rescuing him and taking such good care of him.
 

Aww, he is darling. I like how at firs, he's like, "Leave me alone mom; I'm trying to nap here." Then he gets into it. Like my cat, he seems more interested in the string itself than the fake mouse.