Help! I've created a tyrant who is refusing ALL her medicine and won't let me near her!

I know this is not a "new" topic, but there are circumstance with my cat that I haven't found any solutions for.  I have a 19 year-old cat named Zero.  She is hyperthyroid, has IBD, and a week ago the vet told me that she is also in kidney failure.  I took her to the vet because for about 5 days before she had suddenly decided that she was no longer going to take ANY of her medications.  Also, even though she eats fairly well, I knew she had lost a dangerous amount of weight (most of her life she was around 9-10 lbs, then a year ago went down to about 7.5 lbs. On Monday she was barely 6.5 and I can feel every bone in her body when I hold her).  So the vet added sub q fluids every other day and told me how vital it is for me to get her methimazole, prednisolone and Pepcid into her REGARDLESS of Zero's objections.  She also has probiotics and an herbal supplement mixed in with her food.

First I had the vet prescribe the transdermal form of the methimazole since that's the most important med, and for the first 5 days everything went pretty well.  Zero still refused her pills and was unhappy about what was added to her food, but I was able to do the fluids and the transdermal methimazole with only a token protest.  Then on Saturday, following the calmest sub q session she's ever had, she decided that she'd had enough of both the meds an of ME!  For 2 days now she refuses to be in the same room with me, or if for any reason that's not an option, she immediately hides herself under any nearby piece of furniture.  Even when I'm busy in another room she now spends most of her time under the bed.  It's clearly obvious that she no longer trusts me, and even from under the furniture I can see her watching every move my hands make!  She has also started refusing any food that I add anything to.

I know how I would try to handle the situation if time was not an issue.  Unfortunately we don't have the luxury of the time it would take to first get her to trust me and then build up to the fluids and medication.  She really is quite weak and has no reserves that might allow her even a couple of days.  Besides, she has been the light of my life for 19 years and I'm already terrified of losing her.  I can't even fathom how much worse it would be if she died thinking that I'd betrayed her and that there was nobody she could trust.  I live alone, and due to my own physical issues, I can't get down on the floor and try to drag her out from under the furniture.  I have no family anywhere close by, and no friends who are willing or able to be here twice a day to help me out.  Plus, it's clear that the more forceful I become if/when I can get my hands on her, the more she's going to avoid me and hide from me!  I have purchased a pill gun and empty gel caps, but she hasn't given me a chance to try them.  In the beginning of the week when she was cooperative, I made sure that I remained calm and gentle and I always tell her what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.  Even now, when I know she's nearby, I talk to her about how all this will help her feel better, that I'd never hurt her, etc etc. But she isn't coming around at all, and I know I can't afford to let her go along like this for another day......

Any and all ideas and exeriences would be GREATLY appreciated! 

Oh my goodness, I am sorry to hear the difficulty you and Zero are having, I can understand how scared and frustrated you both are.  You really are blessed to have her at 19 years old, that is a super long life, I can tell you are a loving, caring, calm caregiver to her.  

I am really concerned about her low body weight, and refusal to eat..I live alone also, and can only give you my experience with my rainbow bridge cat Jake.  He had acute renal failure, at the end, refusing both water and food (even with my assist-feeding him for one day only, that was all he could do), he told me, with his eyes, with his weakness, with his soul, it was time to let him go, with dignity, and no more struggling.  I can not give you advice with your Zero, only you and she will come to that understanding.  But  part of the love and promise we take on when we became their friend and caregiver, is for us to assess their quality of life first and foremost, before all else..

Having said this, again, I can not give you anything more than my own experience - perhaps others might have some ideas, but please know I will be praying for both you and little Zero

(p.s. at this point it is really important she eats anything, you mentioned she will not eat now any food that has anything added to it - I would not add anything to her food until she starts eating again,  hopefully you have tried stinky wet canned food?  baby food, chicken/meat only flavors?)

Thank you SO much for your thoughts and prayers.  I know I'm going to have an extremely difficult time acknowledging when she's had enough.  Zero is precious to me for reasons and in ways even I wasn't fully aware of until the past couple of weeks.

So far she is eating - as long as I don't add anything to her food.  I give her the usual cat food in the morning and at night.  She doesn't eat all of what she gets, but she can slowly make a dent in her portion as long as I can keep my other cat (who will eat anything, anytime) away long enough.  Then, several times throughout the day I offer her meat that I've cooked for them, as well as baby food, "slippery soup" (slippery elm simmered in water then mixed with baby food - it's good for stomach acid and IBD), and "kitty glop", which I found while searchin online.  I think the glop is now too rich for her, so I'm going to try to alter the recipe to see if she'll eat it again.  It's high in concentrated calories - something she obviously really needs.  Of course some days she eats more than others, but since this "avoiding mom"  and hiding started I find it more difficult to get her to eat her snacks.

Her IBD has kept her diet kind of limited for a few years, so tonight I bought a few cans of Fancy Feast that don't have grain in them but are hopefully still junk food to her.  She gets her sub q fluids every other day, so I'm going to try offering her some of that when we're finished.  I'm hoping I can find ways to let her associate something positive with all this.

I called the vet to get an idea of how much I should force Zero to do the fluids and the meds.  The message I got back from her was that since this is "only supportive care", I can do what I want.  While I understand what she meant, I was a bit taken aback with such a dismissive attitude!  Am I just being overly sensitive and unrealistic?

Again, your interest and concern mean a lot to me.  Thanks so much....

I don't have much experience with your situation, but here's a few suggestions--

Have you tried Greenie's Pill Pockets for the pills? It's probably not very good considering the IBD, but my kitty loves them and thinks she's getting a treat. Getting the pill may help more than the damage the ingredients in the Pill Pockets will do.

Have you tried a Feliway to alleviate some of the stress she is feeling?

Good luck with her.

We gave our kitty sub q treatments at the very end--she was 17-1/2 but after a couple of weeks it became clear she just didn't want to do it any more.  We stopped, and she got along on baby food/water for a bit longer but....when she quit trying, it became clear we needed to stop trying to make her go on.  

Make whatever time you have with her quality time.  I wish you both the best.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Zero is 19 years old, and maybe she is trying to tell you something by not wanting to take her medications anymore? Perhaps she's had enough and wants to go while she still has some kitty dignity left?

I know this is something you probably don't want to hear, but if it were me I'd not bother with medications anymore. I'd spend a few days regaining her trust and giving her lovings and letting her know that she is a very special kitty, and then I'd let her go to the RB knowing that she knew that she was safe and loved to the very end.

That's what I did with my RB kitty Chynna, and I don't regret it for a single second. I loved her dearly and I know that she loved me, and she told me when the time was right for her. 

Natalie_ca said:

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Zero is 19 years old, and maybe she is trying to tell you something by not wanting to take her medications anymore? Perhaps she's had enough and wants to go while she still has some kitty dignity left?

I know this is something you probably don't want to hear, but if it were me I'd not bother with medications anymore. I'd spend a few days regaining her trust and giving her lovings and letting her know that she is a very special kitty, and then I'd let her go to the RB knowing that she knew that she was safe and loved to the very end.

That's what I did with my RB kitty Chynna, and I don't regret it for a single second. I loved her dearly and I know that she loved me, and she told me when the time was right for her. 

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This is exactly what I was thinking as I was reading your post.  I think Zero IS probably trying to tell you that she's had enough.  My Sven did the same thing, and when he finally turned his back on me when I was trying to get him to eat I knew it was time.  Then I flat out asked him if he was ready to leave me, and he started purring so loud I was astounded.  But I KNEW then and there that he was ready (he was also a kidney cat who had been poked and prodded to no end and had just had enough, I guess )  

I think if I were you I would just love her and feed her whatever she will eat and hope for the best.  Add as much water to her food as you can for extra fluids, and see what happens.  I definitely think quality of life is better than quantity. 

Natalie_ca said:

I'm sorry you are going through this.


Zero is 19 years old, and maybe she is trying to tell you something by not wanting to take her medications anymore? Perhaps she's had enough and wants to go while she still has some kitty dignity left?


I know this is something you probably don't want to hear, but if it were me I'd not bother with medications anymore. I'd spend a few days regaining her trust and giving her lovings and letting her know that she is a very special kitty, and then I'd let her go to the RB knowing that she knew that she was safe and loved to the very end.

That's what I did with my RB kitty Chynna, and I don't regret it for a single second. I loved her dearly and I know that she loved me, and she told me when the time was right for her. 

Click to expand...

This was my experience with our nearly 14-year-old Jamie, who had HCM. He flat out refused to take his meds anymore, and when I asked our vets for advice, they said forcing him to take the pills was just distressing him and probably wouldn't extend his life by very much at that point. He did surprisingly well without them for a number of months, and our relationship wasn't ruined by my constantly trying to get him to take his pills. He also got anything he wanted to eat.

I truly appreciate and understand what all of you are saying.  If Zero goes while she still doesn't trust me or want to be around me, I would carry the guilt and regret with me forever.  The only thing I'm not sure of at this point is whether or not Zero understands that if she went back to taking her medicine, she'd more than likely feel better.  I know that it can no longer extend her life, but it could make the time she has left more comfortable.  So I keep going back and forth trying to determine which is the best path for her - and I'm having a terrible time trying to keep my feelings out of it.  But she has been my reason for living, my light, and my best friend every since the rest of my life fell apart in November of 1994. Like everyone,I'm sure, I can't imagine just getting out of bed if she wasn't here.  I know I owe her the absolute best there is for her to have, so if I could somehow be convinced that she is aware of the reason for the medicines, yet STILL wants to refuse them, I will stop all attempts to give them to her, do whatever it takes to regain her trust, and let her go back to telling me what to do til the end....

Hi again desp4zero, I have been thinking of you and I found this post that made me think of both you and little Zero-

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/237066/when-the-moment-comes  :

A note for those who have lost a cat, or are worrying about when that moment comes.

When we decide to share our lives with a cat, we are making a decision to break our own hearts. That's not melodrama. At some point, that bundle of fur will get under your skin. It doesn't matter how big and tough you are. I've seen British Army Special Forces soldiers cradling their beloved cats with tears in their eyes, hoping against hope that something will put off that fateful moment when they must part. I've seen busy mothers of five children who rule their household with an iron fist reduced to bawling children because they miss their cat. At some point, that cat will work its magic. Its eyes will connect with yours. Its head will rub against yours. Its heart will connect with yours. At that point, you secretly swear your devotion to the animal. It comes under your protection, and you will sacrifice anything to keep it safe. In return, the cat will share that look with you. The one that says "I love you too". That's a special gift, and unless you have been loved by a cat, it is a meaningless one. But if you HAVE been loved by a cat, then you know the value of that gift. It means that the cat will give you a lifetime of love. They will literally spend their entire life in your company. You will feed them, protect them, keep them warm and safe. And they will give you their entire life.

Their entire life. That's their commitment. And what is yours? Easy, you commit to the knowledge that at some point in the future you will be given a terrible decision to make. That decision will be the last you make for your cat. That decision will result in a transference of pain and suffering. You will take away all the pain and suffering of your cat, and you will begin a process of pain and suffering yourself. That's the price for the look. When they look in your eyes with love, that terrible decision is the price. It's a moment that all cat owners dread, but a moment that comes to us all.

So should we feel bad when our cat passes on? Of course we should. We are losing someone we loved, and someone that loved us. The grief will be terrible, but it will be transient. It WILL pass. You will then be left with memories. Some of these memories will bring you tears. Some of these memories will make you laugh. But the pain and the suffering will fade.

So when the moment comes, you have to find a strength within yourself. You're about to do something incredible. You're about to give a display of love and devotion rarely equalled. You will be given a decision about whether to allow your pet to suffer and thus save your own pain, or whether to remove all pain and suffering from the cat, and take it on yourself. If the time is right, you will know, and you will make the right decision. And then you should be so proud of yourself. In the midst of your own grief, and suffering, you should take such strength from the knowledge that when the moment came, you decided to choose your cat's welfare in favour of your own. What greater love can any pet owner display?

So for those that think they have to make that decision soon, take strength. Know that your moment has come. The moment where you wrap up all the love and devotion you have for your cat into one incredible moment and do what's right. For those on the other side of that decision, then well done. I'm proud of you, and your cat would be proud of you, too. Your cat is forever pain-free. You are in pain, but I promise it will pass. Don't worry, some of us know how bad that pain is. You are not alone, and we know how much it hurts. It's terrible, but [color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]it will pass[/color]. Then you will have the memories, which you should treasure.

I like to think one day I will be re-united with my pets. There will be no crashing together as we run towards each other as in the rainbow bridge poem. There will be no kisses. We will simply give each other that look. The look that says "I love you, and now I know how much you love me"

I'm so glad you posted this.  I too have been thinking about desperate4zero and Zero but not finding the right words.  

Thank you all so much for your kind and helpfull words.  Since yesterday morning I have not tried to give Zero any medications or sub q fluids.  It's hard because I know that she would feel better, but I'm already about 50% back into her good graces.  This morning when I woke up, Zero was ON the bed instead of under it, and for the first time in days that when I reached over to pet her and say good morning, she actually allowed me to do it without running away!  This afternoon she looks kind of worn out, and I know she's due for her fluids that have been perking her up, but I'm going to hold back and follow her lead.  And I'm really trying to squash the anger I feel inside about having to keep saying goodbye to everyone who's been important and treasured in my life.  I've smiled my way through this many times before, so for my Zero I'll do it one more time.....

Please don't be angry with Zero because she doesn't want any more "life saving" procedures .  Unfortunately, death is something that happens to all living things, and sadly, our dear furry little friends' lifespans aren't as long as ours normally are.  Please be thankful that she is accepting you again and just hold her and love her until the end.  Add extra water to whatever she will eat, to get her as hydrated as possible without causing her any annoyance, and just enjoy what time you still have together. 

And I believe you said you have yet another cat.  Please let her bring you comfort too .  When I lost my Sven last year, I don't know how I would have gotten through without my other little ones.  My Sven was my soul cat

I understand where everyone is coming from, but one thing you could try is a cat bag (). it is really easy to pill cats in this and it may not be as stressful. 

My cats are young so thankfully I do not have to worry too much about them, but I have a 17 year old dog and I am becoming increasingly worried about her. I have spent thousands in vet care for her and personally I understand wanting to do everything before making that decision. I have very mixed feelings about euthanasia being a catholic and I honestly don't know if i could ever do it. My dog is on painkillers right now and I will do all I can to make her comfortable but I am not sure if I will ever be able to put her down I just do not have the strength, so I really sympathize with you right now. If it were me I would try the cat bag and keep giving her her meds, but I also understand letting her be.

You've all been so helpful, so I want to give you an update about Zero.  She's not taking any meds and refuses the sub q fluids - although I did try the fluids one more time after a couple of days without them - she got pissed again and tried to hide from me for about 1/2 day, but she's over it now.  I spoke to someone at a travelling vet's office (to give them all Zero's info and make sure that they will come here when the time comes) who was wonderfully supportive.  She agreed with most of you, telling me that the meds wouldn't make Zero much more comfortable and were not worth losing time with her while she hid from me.  She also told me that Zero probably had only days - possibly a couple of weeks - left.  I cried whenever I wasn't around Zero unil I couldn't breathe.  Now, though, it's kind of easy to allow myself to almost pretend it isn't happening sometimes.  Zero acts basically the way she always has, and compared to 2 weeks ago, she looks pretty good.  Her fur is a little softer and not as dry, she's eating well, sleeping, using her box, and ruling the household as usual.  It isn't until you see an occasional wobble when she walks down the hall or feel how prominant her bones are when you pet her and hold her that you can tell that something's seriously wrong.  Michelle at the new vet's office told me that she's eating well because her thyroid is so out of whack, but told me to check these four things in order to decide if Zero is still basically comfortable:  is she eating, is she sleeping well, is she using her litter box, and is she drinking her water.  So far, thank God, the answer to all these has been a solid "yes".  I try to keep myself from thinking about having to make "that" call to the new vet.  Most people have assured me that when the time comes, Zero will make it clear to me that it's what she wants me to do....

I'm not as angry most of the time now, although that changes often.  I'm never angry at Zero - my issue is with whoever decided that my life would be spent saying "goodbye" to all those I have loved the most.  I'm sick of holding the door while everyone I care about walks past me through it to a place I'm not allowed to go.  It never gets any easier.  I'm sure lots of people feel the same way sometimes....

Since I don't have hardly any people to check up on Zero, I'd like to keep you all posted if that's okay.

I was wondering how she (and YOU) were doing.  I'm so glad things are going as well as can be expected, and that she is still hanging in there.  You just never know, she could surprise everyone and stick around a little longer than expected.  But whatever the case, just try not to dwell on the inevitable and enjoy the moment. 

Of course it's ok to keep us posted, and even after she's gone, please gone on and talk to us about your feelings , and even talk about your other cat(s) 

You've been a great mom to get her to 19yo - a great long life.  I'm still waiting for one of my cats to live that long.  I know that doesn't make you feel any better.

I had a favorite cat with both hyper-T and CRF.  When he was going downhill, I stopped the methimazole, but continued the drips as long as he would take them.  Food and water are probably the most important things.  Kevin got so weak he couldn't go up the stairs, so I slept on the floor for the last of his days.  It was hard, but I never regretted spending the time with him at the end.  A poor old guy at the end of his days..

Methimazole suppresses an over-active metabolism, so stopping it may give a temporary lift.  The danger with unregulated hyper-T is eventual heart failure if I understood it correctly.

I don't think you can stop prednisone abruptly - but it can be made into a suspension that is pretty easy to give without too much fuss.  They can even make the suspension flavored.

There are many of us out here who have been (or are) where you are now.  Oh, that we could buy our way out of the pain of a broken heart.

Best wishes -Dan

I decided to post an update on Zero and beg for help with the new/old problem that is now in he forefront....Yes, Zero is still hanging in there.  A couple of weeks ago I gave in and stopped all her medications (other than a few sprinkles of Proviable and an herb prescribed by her accupuncturist when I can get away with it).  Once last week she looked totally miserable so I did give her a small amount of sub q fluids, which totally pissed her off and she hid from me for days, which I can't tolerate.  She's still eating, though nowhere near enough, sleeping well, drinking her water and using her litter box.  She has beome terribly thin and we are back to battling the original problem I wrote about - She has never-ending diarrhea!   I've tried everything but can't manage to make any difference.  Zero is very uncomfortable with it because it hurts her bum and sometimes she "drips" some on the floor and/or the bedsheet.  I try to keep up with her, but she still refuses to let me clean her bum.  I of course keep up with the drips the best I can, but the smell is horrible and seems to permeate the entire apartment.  We've been through the Proviable, and even though it never really fixed the diarrhea, I try to get the powder from the capsules into her bit by bit.  Her accupuncture doctor told me a few days ago that Zero should be eating foods that are "cooling" (apparently foods - or at least proteins - are either "cooling" or "warming"), which means stopping any chicken for awhile and switching to turkey, beef and rabbit.  She told me this while I was in the middle of making a huge batch of chicken "bone" broth that is supposed to have all kinds of healing properties for pets, but neither cat is that thrilled with it anyway!  So for a couple of days now Zero has had her regular Nature's Variety canned rabbit twice a day, then turkey or beef baby food in varying forms throughout the day.  She may only eat a bite or two, but that's good enough to show she hasn't thrown in the towel yet...Tonight I'm going to cook her some really lean hamburg, but I'm not sure whether or not I should try mixing it with rice.  She normally can't have any grains, but I've read over and over again that boiled rice is easily digested and a good source of concentrated calories for cats who are very sick.  I also ordered some DiaGel for her, which I will hopefully receive this weekend - I have no idea how I'm going to get it into her, but I've got to do something!  HOWEVER, in spite of all our efforts, as of now Zero is still being tormented with terrible diarrhea, which is the last thing her little body needs right now.  Can anyone give me ideas on ways I can try to help her with this?  Any special foods, meds, supplements, anything at all?  As always, any and all ideas will be greatly appreciated.....

Lauren and Zero

Yes, add some rice to her homemade meal.  It's really good for stopping diarrhea (usually cooked in chicken broth and given with boiled chicken, but since that's out, you could cook it in turkey broth, if you've got some, otherwise I'm not sure if she'll eat it just plain...maybe mixed in with the hamburg ,    Normally one would feed ONLY the chicken and rice for a few days to stop the diarrhea so not sure how you want to handle this.  The idea is to only give them ONE thing for a few days to give their systems a break.

I'm so glad she's still hanging in there, although sorry to hear of this new issue.  Hopefully that Diagel will get here quickly and help resolve the issue.

I'm glad you checked in, Lauren.  I've been thinking about you two.