Putting the blame on me for family illness

Does your daughter blame you for getting your illness ?

I have arthritis,bipolar,had a kidney stones taken out and back problems My daughter thinks just because I have had a lot of  medical problems  she will get them too.

I used to blame my parents for my illnesses actually, not since I was a teen though. I have had sarcoidosis and I have chronic urticaria and angioedema all of which are linked in some way to my immune system being overactive. My dad has had skin cancer 3 times and my grandmother had it once, plus diabetes runs on my moms side.

Now that I'm older I look at it this way, at least I'm alive. Sure some things can be passed down through genetics but that's a risk everyone takes when they have kids. Some people come from healthy families and have their own problems show up regardless of how great their families genetics are.

I've come to realize that life is precious even when it gets hard because of mental, personal or physical problems.

Sorry your daughter is blaming you, she'll come to see that things could have turned out worse some day. I think it's just easier for kids to blame their parents for things they can't control.

sugarsandz said:

I used to blame my parents for my illnesses actually, not since I was a teen though. I have had sarcoidosis and I have chronic urticaria and angioedema all of which are linked in some way to my immune system being overactive. My dad has had skin cancer 3 times and my grandmother had it once, plus diabetes runs on my moms side.

Now that I'm older I look at it this way, at least I'm alive. Sure some things can be passed down through genetics but that's a risk everyone takes when they have kids. Some people come from healthy families and have their own problems show up regardless of how great their families genetics are.

I've come to realize that life is precious even when it gets hard because of mental, personal or physical problems.

Sorry your daughter is blaming you, she'll come to see that things could have turned out worse some day. I think it's just easier for kids to blame their parents for things they can't control.

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I agree She thinks every illness I get she will have too in her lifetime. I got back problems too.

I have been in an car accident once and I do not wish it on her.

My daughter is 15 so I am responsible for everything that isn't great in her life. The good stuff in her life is all of her own doing. 

Things have gotten better the last year or so. She had really crossed a line and was called on it, and it had consequences she didn't care for. I think that was a real eye-opener and she's been much more reasonable. I have a lot of health issues - she doesn't have any (yet), and I don't believe she blames me for being sick. Maybe that will change, who knows!

A pretty classic example of blame was a couple Octobers ago we went to the store and they were out of pumpkins. Guess who was responsible in her eyes? I pointed out that I'm not in cahoots with the produce manager of the store working to ruin her Halloween. 

She's a pretty great kid, though, makes stellar grades, is a good friend and has lots of them, has a kind heart, doesn't do drugs or alcohol, and she really works on stuff she wants to change. Overall, I've got few complaints. She's a comfort and a blessing. 

You might want to tell your daughter that although the tendencies for the illnesses is genetic, the environment plays a huge role in triggering those problems. I know I have a lot of health problems because of the abusive childhood I endured. If I'd had half-way normal caring parents, those diseases may never have surfaced. Good luck to you, I hope she comes around. It's really tough to be blamed for things you did not choose, and cannot change. 

I used to (silently) blame my mom for my hearing impairment. But as I got older and asked her questions.. I learned it was not her fault at all, she did everything right (At that time!) and it just happened.