- Joined
- Jul 10, 2013
- Messages
- 1
- Purraise
- 10
I joined thecatsite today because I needed some closure.
I'm 17, and I've been clinically depressed for a few years. I was born disabled, and as a result, my childhood was harsh. Things got worse for me as I grew up, but I somehow managed to survive.
I discovered a litter of stray kittens in my neighbourhood a month ago. I was taking a stroll at night when I spotted them in front of me, all huddled together near a bush. There were three of them, all female, and they were absolutely beautiful. I believe they were abandoned by their mom. I think they were barely 3 weeks old because they were so tiny. Someone had already adopted them - I saw collars on their necks. I was surprised to see them outside because if they were already adopted, why didn't their owner keep them at home? It wasn't safe for them to be out at all. I was later told by the owner that she didn't want them in her house because she already had another pet, so she wanted the kittens to stay outside whilst she took up the responsibility of feeding them. I knew that these babies should be indoors and not outdoors, but I couldn't do anything. They now belonged to her and I couldn't take them home because I'm not allowed to have pets.
I'd walk past the owner's house every night and stop to play with the kittens. I'd usually find them near the bushes outside the house - they were always excited to see me and ran to me without fail, purring and rubbing their furry heads against my legs. Nothing gave me more joy to see these babies every night. It was very therapeutic for me, considering that I'm depressed. I felt so loved by the kittens. Out of the three, there was one who loved me the most. She was a black cat with a silky, shiny coat and bright eyes. She loved licking my face and bumping her nose against mine, and she loved it when I picked her up and cradled her like a baby. She grew attached to me and followed me on my walks at night, and even followed me home a couple of times. God knows how badly I wanted to take her in and keep her safe with me forever and give her a loving environment to grow up in, but I couldn't, she didn't belong to me. I hated to see her and the other kittens roaming out at night when they could have been safe and warm at home.
I went for a walk last night, as usual, and she was waiting for me. She ran up to me and went about her usual purring and rubbing routine. She was particularly cheerful today, and I revelled in the extra attention I got from her. We went for a little stroll and sat down after a while. She then wandered off on her own and crossed the street, and I thought nothing of it, since she was technically still a stray and was free to wander wherever she liked, as long as it was safe. It was late at night, my neighbourhood was asleep and the street was deserted. She walked to a tree across the street and sat down there, licking herself and just minding her own feline business. I watched her with affection as I sat down on the pavement and took a break. All of a sudden, a car came out of nowhere - It turned into my neighbourhood street from the main road. What happened next was so traumatic. As the car passed by us - me being on one side of the road and the kitten near the trees on the other side - she leapt onto the road to run towards me. She was on the road the very moment the car drove past us. She was run over in an instant and I saw it happen with my own eyes. When the car passed, I saw her in the middle of a terrifying seizure. I was devastated and stunned. It all happened so fast. My baby's head was crushed and her seizure was so bad that the blood went in all directions. I lost my senses and ran over to her as fast as I could, thinking she could be saved, but I gave up all hope when I saw the full extent of her injuries. The seizure lasted for about a minute and she just stopped moving afterwards. Her body was completely crushed, and that's about as much as I can say because I can't even bear to describe her injuries. My baby wanted to be with me before she died, but it didn't happen. To make matters worse, the driver didn't even stop. He just sped on. I have no idea if he knew that he ran over a kitten because it was dark. My baby was completely oblivious to the fact that she was right in the path of a car.
She was barely two months old. She was perfectly healthy and so full of life. She brought happiness back into my life and taught me how to live once again. I knew her for just a month, but we grew very close. To see her being crushed like that made me feel so powerless. I couldn't do anything to save her... she just wasted away in front of my own eyes. I can't help but blame myself for her death. If I hadn't gone for a walk that night, she wouldn't have been in that spot. She would have still been alive today. The other two kittens somehow knew their sister was dead, because they both rushed over to the spot minutes after she got run over. I had to carry them away from the body because I didn't want them to see their sister like that.
I visited the other two kittens tonight and they were very solemn, a far cry from their former playful selves. It hurt me to see them like this. One of them walked over to the spot where her sister died, and just lied there for a long time. It was clearly distraught and missing its sister.
It's been a little over 24 hours since my baby died, and I only just started grieving. I was in too much shock when the incident happened to cry at all. If only I could rewind time and get back my baby. If only she didn't die in so much pain. She really loved me so much and I feel like a complete failure for not being able to do anything for her. I cradled her minutes before the accident happened, and she was looking up into my eyes while I was looking down into hers. It was a perfect moment, and that's how I want to remember her.
Rest in peace.
I'm 17, and I've been clinically depressed for a few years. I was born disabled, and as a result, my childhood was harsh. Things got worse for me as I grew up, but I somehow managed to survive.
I discovered a litter of stray kittens in my neighbourhood a month ago. I was taking a stroll at night when I spotted them in front of me, all huddled together near a bush. There were three of them, all female, and they were absolutely beautiful. I believe they were abandoned by their mom. I think they were barely 3 weeks old because they were so tiny. Someone had already adopted them - I saw collars on their necks. I was surprised to see them outside because if they were already adopted, why didn't their owner keep them at home? It wasn't safe for them to be out at all. I was later told by the owner that she didn't want them in her house because she already had another pet, so she wanted the kittens to stay outside whilst she took up the responsibility of feeding them. I knew that these babies should be indoors and not outdoors, but I couldn't do anything. They now belonged to her and I couldn't take them home because I'm not allowed to have pets.
I'd walk past the owner's house every night and stop to play with the kittens. I'd usually find them near the bushes outside the house - they were always excited to see me and ran to me without fail, purring and rubbing their furry heads against my legs. Nothing gave me more joy to see these babies every night. It was very therapeutic for me, considering that I'm depressed. I felt so loved by the kittens. Out of the three, there was one who loved me the most. She was a black cat with a silky, shiny coat and bright eyes. She loved licking my face and bumping her nose against mine, and she loved it when I picked her up and cradled her like a baby. She grew attached to me and followed me on my walks at night, and even followed me home a couple of times. God knows how badly I wanted to take her in and keep her safe with me forever and give her a loving environment to grow up in, but I couldn't, she didn't belong to me. I hated to see her and the other kittens roaming out at night when they could have been safe and warm at home.
I went for a walk last night, as usual, and she was waiting for me. She ran up to me and went about her usual purring and rubbing routine. She was particularly cheerful today, and I revelled in the extra attention I got from her. We went for a little stroll and sat down after a while. She then wandered off on her own and crossed the street, and I thought nothing of it, since she was technically still a stray and was free to wander wherever she liked, as long as it was safe. It was late at night, my neighbourhood was asleep and the street was deserted. She walked to a tree across the street and sat down there, licking herself and just minding her own feline business. I watched her with affection as I sat down on the pavement and took a break. All of a sudden, a car came out of nowhere - It turned into my neighbourhood street from the main road. What happened next was so traumatic. As the car passed by us - me being on one side of the road and the kitten near the trees on the other side - she leapt onto the road to run towards me. She was on the road the very moment the car drove past us. She was run over in an instant and I saw it happen with my own eyes. When the car passed, I saw her in the middle of a terrifying seizure. I was devastated and stunned. It all happened so fast. My baby's head was crushed and her seizure was so bad that the blood went in all directions. I lost my senses and ran over to her as fast as I could, thinking she could be saved, but I gave up all hope when I saw the full extent of her injuries. The seizure lasted for about a minute and she just stopped moving afterwards. Her body was completely crushed, and that's about as much as I can say because I can't even bear to describe her injuries. My baby wanted to be with me before she died, but it didn't happen. To make matters worse, the driver didn't even stop. He just sped on. I have no idea if he knew that he ran over a kitten because it was dark. My baby was completely oblivious to the fact that she was right in the path of a car.
She was barely two months old. She was perfectly healthy and so full of life. She brought happiness back into my life and taught me how to live once again. I knew her for just a month, but we grew very close. To see her being crushed like that made me feel so powerless. I couldn't do anything to save her... she just wasted away in front of my own eyes. I can't help but blame myself for her death. If I hadn't gone for a walk that night, she wouldn't have been in that spot. She would have still been alive today. The other two kittens somehow knew their sister was dead, because they both rushed over to the spot minutes after she got run over. I had to carry them away from the body because I didn't want them to see their sister like that.
I visited the other two kittens tonight and they were very solemn, a far cry from their former playful selves. It hurt me to see them like this. One of them walked over to the spot where her sister died, and just lied there for a long time. It was clearly distraught and missing its sister.
It's been a little over 24 hours since my baby died, and I only just started grieving. I was in too much shock when the incident happened to cry at all. If only I could rewind time and get back my baby. If only she didn't die in so much pain. She really loved me so much and I feel like a complete failure for not being able to do anything for her. I cradled her minutes before the accident happened, and she was looking up into my eyes while I was looking down into hers. It was a perfect moment, and that's how I want to remember her.
Rest in peace.
