I have a litter of five kittens who turned six weeks on Sunday. The "middle child" (only one who's birth order I know for sure) is a little tom who will be going to a large family in a few weeks - but he is always so fearful whenever people come round! He retreats to a place where he can see what's going on, but hisses when strangers (to him) approach. How can I help him be more sociable and less fearful? His new family will have five children aged between 7 and 17, plus an older cat (and large home, large garden). What tips can I give them if he's still overly timid?
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How can I help timid, nervous kitten overcome his fear?
- Thread starter mogfoster
- Start Date
Right now he is at a very critical age and what happens the next few weeks will really shape what his attitude towards humans is going to be.
First, you need to make every interaction with a human (stranger or not) a positive one. If someone new comes into the house you should automatically give them a yummy treat to give to him. Make sure when people are trying to play with him they are getting down on his level (on the floor) and are being very slow with their movements so as not to scare him.
Obviously there is a lot more to this and way more specific tips that can help you. I would highly recommend you jump over to the behavior section and read through some of the threads over there. I also did a quick search on shy cats to get you started which may help: http://www.thecatsite.com/newsearch?search=shy+cats .
I do have a couple questions/suggestions if I may to try and orient myself to the situation. I'm guessing based on your handle that these are foster kittens that came to you post-birth. Is this your first litter? Also, has this kittens family come over and met him yet? Does he have any experience with children (if not be sure he gets some ASAP).
Obviously fostering is a delicate balance- we want each of our kittens to find a home so that they don't ever have to go back to a shelter, but it's also important that we find the right home. And, IMO, the right home is never chosen just by looking at pictures and choosing the cutest one (with perhaps the exception of purebreds since you do have a good idea of what kind of personality you will be getting). If they haven't, I think it's critical that this family come and meet their new addition. And, not just once but several times. The worst thing that can happen is they don't meet beforehand, get the kitten home, and decide after a few weeks that he is not the right fit. By that time the kitten has lost precious adoption weeks and is likely going to be even more traumatized than he already seems to be. Certainly there is the nature/nurture argument here, and you can re-train some of his attitudes towards humans by working diligently with him, but some things are just ingrained. And, that fear of humans may never go away. Bottom line: the family needs to meet the kitten so that they can all determine if it's the best fit. And, if it's not, keep looking! Perhaps this kitten is better suited for a quieter household. It is better to take the extra time to find the right home than risk sending him to the wrong one.
Happy to help more in any way that I can. Re-socializing shy cats is not necessarily my area of expertise, but re-homing them is.
Vibes that this all works out in the kittens best interest!
First, you need to make every interaction with a human (stranger or not) a positive one. If someone new comes into the house you should automatically give them a yummy treat to give to him. Make sure when people are trying to play with him they are getting down on his level (on the floor) and are being very slow with their movements so as not to scare him.
Obviously there is a lot more to this and way more specific tips that can help you. I would highly recommend you jump over to the behavior section and read through some of the threads over there. I also did a quick search on shy cats to get you started which may help: http://www.thecatsite.com/newsearch?search=shy+cats .
I do have a couple questions/suggestions if I may to try and orient myself to the situation. I'm guessing based on your handle that these are foster kittens that came to you post-birth. Is this your first litter? Also, has this kittens family come over and met him yet? Does he have any experience with children (if not be sure he gets some ASAP).
Obviously fostering is a delicate balance- we want each of our kittens to find a home so that they don't ever have to go back to a shelter, but it's also important that we find the right home. And, IMO, the right home is never chosen just by looking at pictures and choosing the cutest one (with perhaps the exception of purebreds since you do have a good idea of what kind of personality you will be getting). If they haven't, I think it's critical that this family come and meet their new addition. And, not just once but several times. The worst thing that can happen is they don't meet beforehand, get the kitten home, and decide after a few weeks that he is not the right fit. By that time the kitten has lost precious adoption weeks and is likely going to be even more traumatized than he already seems to be. Certainly there is the nature/nurture argument here, and you can re-train some of his attitudes towards humans by working diligently with him, but some things are just ingrained. And, that fear of humans may never go away. Bottom line: the family needs to meet the kitten so that they can all determine if it's the best fit. And, if it's not, keep looking! Perhaps this kitten is better suited for a quieter household. It is better to take the extra time to find the right home than risk sending him to the wrong one.
Happy to help more in any way that I can. Re-socializing shy cats is not necessarily my area of expertise, but re-homing them is.
Excellent post above!
There is one trick sometimes used with ferale kittens, which may be useful here too.
You wrap such a kitten in a soft towel like a burrito, all paws up to neck. So the kitten is immobilized and helpless - yet safe.
You carry it at your chest, where it hears your heart. You talk friendly, baby talk, you make a lot of friendly noises "crooning" I believe it is called in american english. You can sing softly if you can and wish... Perhaps even one full hour. A couple three of such sessions, and it is done.
It is a little like the american way of making a horse from a semiferale horse, the "breaking in" which doesnt looks pleasant nor nice, BUT usually works excellently.
Here in a verrry soft and friendly version, being also both pleasant and nice.
Good luck!
There is one trick sometimes used with ferale kittens, which may be useful here too.
You wrap such a kitten in a soft towel like a burrito, all paws up to neck. So the kitten is immobilized and helpless - yet safe.
You carry it at your chest, where it hears your heart. You talk friendly, baby talk, you make a lot of friendly noises "crooning" I believe it is called in american english. You can sing softly if you can and wish... Perhaps even one full hour. A couple three of such sessions, and it is done.
It is a little like the american way of making a horse from a semiferale horse, the "breaking in" which doesnt looks pleasant nor nice, BUT usually works excellently.
Here in a verrry soft and friendly version, being also both pleasant and nice.
Good luck!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #4
Thanks EB and Stefan.
I've had their mother since two weeks before the kittens arrived, so she's doing most of the rearing work - and I've become part of the kittens 'furniture' - the problem arises when we have visitors, and little OllieRoger disappears or goes off somewhere he thinks is out of reach. Clearly it's psychological - they're familiar with me, so I don't seem like some scary giant, but a stranger, even if smaller than me, does simply because of the unfamiliarity factor. His family have visited him, but are currently on annual holiday ('across the pond' as we say -, somewhere on your side of the Atlantic, EB). I can see he doesn't want to be afraid, and I think Stefan's trick will be the right one for him, possibly combined with a bit of catnip seduction - he climbed up to the table, found the remnants of a bag of treats, hyperventilated, conked out with all paws in the air, then woke up all purry and ready for strokes and cuddles.
I've had their mother since two weeks before the kittens arrived, so she's doing most of the rearing work - and I've become part of the kittens 'furniture' - the problem arises when we have visitors, and little OllieRoger disappears or goes off somewhere he thinks is out of reach. Clearly it's psychological - they're familiar with me, so I don't seem like some scary giant, but a stranger, even if smaller than me, does simply because of the unfamiliarity factor. His family have visited him, but are currently on annual holiday ('across the pond' as we say -, somewhere on your side of the Atlantic, EB). I can see he doesn't want to be afraid, and I think Stefan's trick will be the right one for him, possibly combined with a bit of catnip seduction - he climbed up to the table, found the remnants of a bag of treats, hyperventilated, conked out with all paws in the air, then woke up all purry and ready for strokes and cuddles.
Your new post does help to add more context.
It's a good thing that his shyness doesn't come from an early trauma or negative interaction with humans, and it's also good that he is fine with people once he gets to know them.
I would absolutely agree in trying Stefan's technique as no harm will come from it and it will reinforce that people are good. But, it may not do much to help him overcome his stranger danger. For that I still think you need to do more work with him with people he doesn't know. Especially during this critical age try and get as wide a variety of people over as possible- old, young, male, female, ect. I would tell them when they get there about his current special needs and encourage them to try and treat him. The more positive associations he can get the better!
Hopefully his shyness will ease up with his new family as he gets to know each of them. I would prepare them that he may hide a lot at first and that they shouldn't force him to come out. I would still be a little worried that in such an active household there are always going to be lots of new faces coming in and out but hopefully between getting him really used to human contact through swaddling and showing him that strangers=treats he will warm up to the idea.
And, if he doesn't that's okay too so long as the family knows and understands that. Both of my cats are absolute loves to people they know but are terrified of strangers. It takes them awhile to warm up to new people but they always come around with time. So, just explain to the family that that's where he is now and may always be like that. So long as he is comfortable with them it should all work out okay!
I would absolutely agree in trying Stefan's technique as no harm will come from it and it will reinforce that people are good. But, it may not do much to help him overcome his stranger danger. For that I still think you need to do more work with him with people he doesn't know. Especially during this critical age try and get as wide a variety of people over as possible- old, young, male, female, ect. I would tell them when they get there about his current special needs and encourage them to try and treat him. The more positive associations he can get the better!
Hopefully his shyness will ease up with his new family as he gets to know each of them. I would prepare them that he may hide a lot at first and that they shouldn't force him to come out. I would still be a little worried that in such an active household there are always going to be lots of new faces coming in and out but hopefully between getting him really used to human contact through swaddling and showing him that strangers=treats he will warm up to the idea.
And, if he doesn't that's okay too so long as the family knows and understands that. Both of my cats are absolute loves to people they know but are terrified of strangers. It takes them awhile to warm up to new people but they always come around with time. So, just explain to the family that that's where he is now and may always be like that. So long as he is comfortable with them it should all work out okay!
