Help! What to do about potential adopter for feral kitten!?!

kittychick

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Ive spent the evening crying-& then discovered this forum, where i hope i can get some help/advice!!! My husband & I are
3 weeks (8 wks old when brought in) into socializing our first litter of feral kittens. One of the 3 "came around" after only a few days-"Buffer" quickly became a lover-purrs non-stop (the other 2 are MUCH slower going). We've had several neighbors come over so all get exposed to people-& Buffers warmed up after a minute or 2 to all. But now the problem-we started a few days ago trying to find a home for Buffer but only had 1 person interested. He came over today to meet Buffers-& I know now I made a huge mistake not telling the man to go in slowly & quietly (he's tall with a very loud, deep voice). Buffers was outright terrified of him-hissed, spit, hid...& continued to hide for hours after he left. The man is "a perfect fit" otherwise-very much a "cat person" who still wants to adopt him Monday-that he felt Buffers would come around once he had him home. We said ok -but now I'm so torn. We can't keep him-so we have to find him a home-but what if Buffers never stops being terrified of this man? My husband suggested we go ahead & adopt him out Monday with the agreement that he return him to us if Buffers continues to freak after awhile in his home (while we don't know the man personally, he is a friend of a good friend & even agreed to let us come visit Buffers anytime). Any suggestions? Am I being over cautious? Help!!!!!!!
 

StefanZ

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Ah, so you arent suspecting the man by bad gutfeeling, just the unlucky start...

I think, go forward with this man, if he is so promising.

Let him have Feliway adapter, or perhaps even better Feliway spray, sprayed on him and his hands.  It will help Buffers come around.

He shall have prepared a kitty room, where Buffers begins. There he shall have a safe corner, with a prepared cat igloo, or similiar.  (spray this cat igloo with Feliway spray).  Normally shall Buffer be left alone there, if he wants to be alone.  Fetching him just only in emergency.

Block so Buffers cant hide deep under a bed.  

Deep loud voice and being cat friendly is not necessary contradicting.  We do have a family friend, who has such a loud voice and laugh. Very talkative woman.  And we do have two residents, one quite shy, verry alike an ex-semiferal, and his son is quite sociale.

The older, shy, never shows when we have quests.  He isnt scared if they leave him alone, but he is in our bedroom laying on the bed, and rests there, even sleeps, waiting for the guests to go home.

But has you seen?  When this woman is visiting us, he comes sometimes down and shows himself!

I will not exagerrate and say he wants to be petted by her, there ARE limits, but the self fact he is in the same room while she talks and laughts, tells much.    :)

(and yes, she IS a cat friend).

Good luck!

  Welcome to our Forums!
 
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kittychick

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Thanks for the suggestions-we'll definitely talk this guy through this Monday. We did go ahead & get Buffers a full health check/Felv test yesterday --passed with flying colors! This kitten even fell asleep at the vets! He couldn't be sweeter---we're working this week/weekend on letting him out of the "feral socialization room" ---meeting our cats slowly (the potential adopter has 2 cats) & although he's skittish, he's actually laying 2 feet from one if our other cats--so think he's doing
great!!! Just cross your fingers for Monday!!!
 

abisiobhan

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Jave you checked out the potential adopted? Ie he has references etc?? I just worry when some p are very anxious to take a cat in any circumstance. Bunchers who sell cats for research will seek cats out -I assume you are asking a fee. The ppl I refer to thrive on free to good home ads. I am sure he is fine and do not want to scare you but good luck!!
 

bastfriend

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My two cents.....I would ask the adopter to be willing to come to your house a few times for supervised visits with Buffers where you guys just hang out for an hour or so on the floor each time to see if Buffers warms to him at all.   Since Buffers has shown he can warm up to more than just you it would be a requirement in my mind that he do the same with his potential new owner BEFORE you hand him over.    If this guy is a real cat person and serious, he won't mind the extra work to make sure it is a good fit for him and the kitten.
 

abisiobhan

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Exactly Bastfriend. In adopting children, home visits are initially mandatory and shd be for kittens /cats too. A loving cat family will not mind.
 

StefanZ

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I just worry when some p are very anxious to take a cat in any circumstance. Bunchers who sell cats for research will seek cats out -I assume you are asking a fee. The ppl I refer to thrive on "free to good home" ads. I am sure he is fine and do not want to scare you but good luck!!
Yeah. If it feels awkward to ask for a fee/payment, ask for a "anonymous" donation to some praiseworthy cause you both agree upon, in the cats name.

Say the cat is Buster, their name is Smith.

So the donation is either from Buster, or from Buster Smith.

This creates a magical bond in the new owner, connecting the cat with noble feelings of doing something praiseworthy, without even any personal advantage..

And of course, it weeds out most of these villains like dog fighters, boa owners, private torturers and "scientific sellers".
 
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kittychick

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An update on Buffers & his brothers --Attached is a photo of Buffers happily snoozing & purring, not knowing what's in store for him in the next few days :( I was almost hoping the original adopter would "forget" he wanted Buffers while he was gone for the 4th, but he called today (my husband reminded me he's STILL the only person who's inquired about ANY of them). Again-he said "all the right things" (he'd made a vet appt for Weds so would we mind keeping Buffers til then so he didnt have to go thru stress of going to his house then to vet & back...that if he could take all 3 he would as he hates pulling him from his brothers...etc). And he said again that we could come see Buffers in his new place. So he's coming over tomorrow to visit Buffers...& is love input on what we're planning on telling him: 1) that we will take Buffers back if he doesn't adjust to his satisfaction 2) I'm giving him a xerox of a section of "the cat whisperer" book that explains how to slowly introduce new cats into a home & to each other 3) we're asking him to spend some time Tues & Weds w/Buffers in our company so we can watch. 4) we're offering him the temporary loan of the extra large dog crate we started socialization in so Buffers would have a familiar, safe place to start, separated from the man's current cats & him. I hope I'm thinking of everything I could do--thoughts from everyone? My husband reminded me we don't want to scare him off since we have no option for this special kitty! I swear Buffers knows I'm stressed about it, as I've laid with my little feral family in the bedroom they're in, & Buffers has crawled onto me & purred like I've never heard him! What a special little boy!!!
 
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kittychick

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And we are asking for a fee. And here are his two brothers---who are another issue themselves. I may start a new thread for help with them as they're not s
ocializing like Buffers at all! But boy they're cute!!!!
 
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