New to site with cat problems

Hello everyone!!!

I just found this web site and I am very excited to read, learn, and share about cats.

I currently have three cats: Skweeky (because she squeaked when I got her), 9 yrs old, black, short-hair, domestic female; Callie (because she's a Calico), 1 yr old, rescued from the shelter, and Rocky, a huge, snow-shoe, male cat whoâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s been staying with me and my boyfriend for the past two months.

Skweeky and Rocky are NOT getting along. Skweeky is terrified of him. She's always been a very skittish cat. She doesn't like strangers. She is terrified of being held, she gets so upset when I try to take her anywhere outside the house that is has seizures. She doesn't have epilepsy, its just anxiety. She even runs from me when I walk around the house. She wants attention and love, though. When the house is quiet and everyone is settled down, she'll come out of her hiding place and wants to be petted (but as soon as I try to pick her up she goes rigid and wants to get away).

She had a little trouble adjusting to Callie, but because Callie was a kitten, they are ok now (no real affection though).

With Rocky, its another story. He's about twice as big as her with big teeth (he's de-clawed in the front, which is a plus in this situation). Skweeky lost weight and started going to the bathroom in the living room because she was too afraid to come out from behind the chair. I had to move her litter box and food back there.
She stays behind the chair all the time now and when Rocky gets near she hisses and growls and attacks him. But because she's so much smaller then him (now more then before) she retreats very quickly and Rocky chases her. Whenever she does come out, Rocky waits for her and attacks her. She has some small bite marks on her neck and shoulders.
And now, Rocky has found her food behind the chair and chases Skweeky away from there and eats her food.

I don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I are getting married sometime in the future and will be moving in into a new house soon (with all the cats). I don't want to get rid of anyone and I don't want to start giving the cats prescription medications.
Does anyone have any suggestions?

Please help!

Thanks,

Ania

I would suggest a good cat vet for Skweeky with a full neurological workup to make sure that you are right and it is just "nerves" and not an underlying medical condition. I rescue ferals and have many nervous ones at the beginning, and even a few I can't pick up, but none of them have seizures if I put them in another place in the house even temporarily. I don't know if you have seen a vet, or if you self-diagnosed this cat, but if she does have seizures, she will have to be on medication for life to make her more comfortable in living it.

Thanks for your comments Hissy.
Yes, Skweeky has been to the vet and had a neurological workup. They found nothing. She has the seizures very rarely and only under extremely frightening (to her) situations). It's her relationship with Rocky that really worries me now.

Ania

Thanks for clarifying. I would try the Feliway room mister, and the vanilla extract trick, as well as a second opinion with a vet who specializes in neurological care for cats. If the vet you took her to is a specialist, I would talk to him about medication for her, or go holistic with her using Bach Flower remedies

I've been putting the Bach stuff in her water, but its not working. I haven't tried the Feliway yet, just found out about it on this site. What is it supposed to do?

Welcome to the site!

Feliway simulates the happy-cheek scent of cats, which is a calming influence on them.

Is there any way you can give Skweeky her own room? Perhaps a bedroom that is closed off to the others? I'm sure that would do wonders for her stress levels, once she realizes that Rocky can't get to her in there.

I'll move this to the Behavior forum where more of our experts will see it.

I had a very similar situation: my female diluted tortie (Tzeital - as in the oldest daughter in "Fiddler on the Roof") is exactly as you describe your female: comes out when the house is quiet, loves to be petted and talked to but not held, hides much of the day. I adopted her from a shelter as an adult and she obviously had had a difficult life - she still flinches if I move too quickly to pet her and it has been 8 years.

My large male Ivan, who was first into the house, has always hated Tzeital. When I got her, I also had another male that was the alpha cat in the house. The vet explained to me that Ivan was making sure that he was not low cat on the totum pole. He picked on her constantly, would lie in wait for her to come out, and was just generally mean. He was also twice her size so it was a very real concern that he could and would hurt her. To us, he is nothing but a love and you can do anything to this cat and he purrs. I finally had to resort to medication and I went with a low dose of valium for him. It took him a few days to adjust (he was real sleepy at first) but then he was fine, could function but pretty much ignored Tzeital. After a while, I stopped it and things were fine for quite some time (months). Now, it seems like it is seasonal - he will be bad in the spring or if he has been the house for a long time (heavy snows or rain). It's almost like he gets bored, or too much energy, and will amuse himself by tormenting Tzeital.

Fast forward to today: My alpha cat died this summer and I have a new kitten. Ivan adores this kitten and spends all his waking hours bathing, wrestling or watching this kitten (also a male - 3 months old). He has completely forgotten about Tzeital and shows no interest in her at all. Before, anytime he looked at her, you could see hate in his eyes. Now, whether it is because my alpha cat died and Ivan just assumes he is top cat or whether it is the kitten, I don't know. But he is fine (other than hissing at the dog if it tries to play with the kitten).

HOWEVER... the kitten picks on Tzeital now. I'm hoping it is just the exuberance of kittenhood and he is trying to get her to play with him. She has no interest in playing with him but he will follow her around and attack her constantly until I remove him or put her in a room. When I saw the difference in Ivan, I hoped that finally Tzeital's life would improve. But watching Frankie, the kitten, I'm hoping that he hasn't taken up where Ivan left off.

Good luck.

Thanks so much for sharing your story. Makes me feel a bit better!

I bought Feliway and I'm giving them both Bach flower essence. I'm hoping that it will help. I don't want to have to resort to prescription meds, but I will if I have to. I'm worried that Skweeky will get sick and die.

Ania