help! having second thoughts

rfox

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I am having a really, really hard time deciding if I want another cat now. Especially an adult cat with tendencies to cut open screen doors to get outside!! if it were a kitten or someone younger then maybe...

I am hoping I can train her but what if i cant?
What if she insists on being on the counters or top of the cabinets?
What if she tries to dart out everytime the door opens?
What if Amber and her dont get along?

If they happen to fight i dont my baby to get hurt. I am so scared it wont work out. I feel like crying. I feel like one minute i can do it and then the next i want to huddle in the corner...!

and amber is so loving and i love her so much i dont want to upset her. she is starting to come and lay on my lap now! she hasnt done that since i got her a year ago.

i am done with voicing my insecurities. I just need you guys! I dont know if i want support or if i want to be told not to do it, i dont know!!


if im this torn maybe i shouldnt.

wah!
ok... now i'm done.
 

purrfectcatlove

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All what I can say is to think about why you wanted one more cat/kitten . You have to look at all site's , the pluses and the negative once for you and Amber . Maybe write it down on a paper , all of it . Then every day you can go over the hole list you made and read it again . I am sure after a while you can make a clear decition what you want . Good luck
 

mzjazz2u

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That's a good idea to make a list of why you want a cat or a pro's and con's list. Ultimately, you have to do what is best for you and Amber. And it could very well be that this is not the cat for you. Especially if you have doubts about re-training the cat. It is not so much a matter of the cat being an adult or a kitten. I've adopted adult cats when I already had an adult cat. It sounds like it is this cat you are concerned about. Maybe he/she would be better off in a home as an only pet or a barn cat. It has to be your decission but are you ready for this kind of challenge? Is Amber ready for this? It could take months or years to re-train this kitty and there are no guarentees.

Kudos to you for thinking it through and not making a rash decission!
 

lorie d.

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I agree with making out a list. If the negative items on your list really out-number the positives, then you'll know that this might not be the best thing for you and Amber right now.
 
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rfox

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you guys really helped me put things in perspective. before i even started writing i already had a few things in the negative column. i am not sure i am ready for a new cat. a cat that needs big time training on top of it! hopefully my sis can find a way to keep the cat or else find her another home.

i enjoy having amber as an only child. shes very good, she knows what we expect of her. i just hope i am not depriving her of feline company. but she seems very happy.

she is the center of my universe! (and hubby is the moon)

thank you all
 

sammie5

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You would know, I think, if you were ready for a second cat. It takes work to get used to a new baby in the house. For both you and Amber. But I think you have to go with your gut feelings on this, because it can be a bit overwhelming when the new cat arrives, for both you and the resident cat.

I knew that I was ready for a second cat. I cried whenever I visited the kitties up for adoption at PetsMart. I just kept picturing a second cat around the house, imagining what it would be doing. And I even had a really clear picture of what that second cat would be like.

And when I saw Bailey, it was instant - I knew she was the cat. This was after visiting the adoption cages for 6 months, I saw her, and took her home that day. No question.

So the work was worth it, because I just knew she was the right one, and it was exactly what we needed here. And when Sam got kind of upset at the change in his routine, I told him with absolute conviction, you will love her, I got her for you.

So if you have doubts, be really careful that you don't get overwhelmed, or get a second cat for the wrong reason. They are a big responsibility.
 
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rfox

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Thank you sammie.

I still would like to get amber a friend, but maybe later. But youre right. Theres no rush. When I find the one I will know.
 

sicycat

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Oh man, you sound JUST LIKE ME before I got Saki


I think you should do what you feel is right. How old is Amber? I think a kitten would be your best bet.. and one of the opposite sex. But just weigh the pros and the cons, that's what I did. But just to let you know, I am SO glad I got another cat
 
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rfox

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originally posted by Sicycat
Oh man, you sound JUST LIKE ME before I got Saki


I think you should do what you feel is right. How old is Amber? I think a kitten would be your best bet.. and one of the opposite sex. But just weigh the pros and the cons, that's what I did. But just to let you know, I am SO glad I got another cat
you know, I was so excited to think that I would be getting another cat. she is sleek and petite and pitch black.

but then all these doubts and worries started coming at me like crazy! I was thinking about you, Sicycat, and all the same fears and doubts you had before getting Saki. Amber is only 1.5. she was 6 mos when I adopted her last October.

I think youre right. getting a little boy kitten would be the best. but kittens are such little balls of energy! an older cat would be better for ME, but for amber I think a kitten would be best.
 

sicycat

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Her age and time you got her is close to Zoey. A male kitten would be good I think, but I'm biased.


It IS a handful.. but honestly, the first week I was all freaked out, and not sure where to leave him, should I leave him in the bathroom, should I let him out with Zoey, should I let him out and lock up Zoey,
But now everything is fine, I leave them alone all day long while I'm at work and the house is actally not in bad condition
Kittens are a handful but you just have to kitten proof the house and make sure he knows how to use the litterbox and you're good to go.
 

purrfectcatlove

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Well , I got most of the times older cats from the shelter and all I have is grown cats . The only little one I got is the stray one right now . So it can be done , you just have to be slow with the intro of both cats thats all .
 
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rfox

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originally posted by PurrfectCatlove
Well , I got most of the times older cats from the shelter and all I have is grown cats . The only little one I got is the stray one right now . So it can be done , you just have to be slow with the intro of both cats thats all.
how are they doing now? how long was the introduction process for you?

I would love for my baby to be close with another one. I remember our cats when I was younger only really tolerated each other. they wouldnt sleep together or play together or anything. did any of your adults become close?
 

dougbug

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i agree, kittens are different than a older cat, kittens are very couious and full of energy, an older cat might take more time getting adjusted to the surroundings, but what ever you decide in the long run you wont regret it i dont think
 

purrfectcatlove

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You know , every cat is diferend . Most of mine only took 3-4 weeks , but I think I do have already a lot of cats and they are used to it . I am guessing here . But you only have one cat , with one cat I would take it very slowly .
 
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