I could use some opinions and advice what to do regarding my friend. I'll try to keep the background short! < looking back that didn't work, sorry.
My friend (I'll call her Ellen) and I have been best friends for 10 years. She has been here for me through everything, with always kind words and great advice. We cry together, laugh together, and lay all our problems out on the table (and then help each other solve them). You know how sometimes you have a friend who'll say things that makes you feel kind of icky? Ellen has NEVER done that, she is some kind of awesomely beautiful person, I don't know how many times I have thanked God for having such a wonderful friend in my life.
Ellen has it pretty rough at home. Her father died quite a while ago without a will, and she handled all his legal affairs. She decided, along with her mother and (adult) sister, to move to a warmer climate since Ellen's son is in a wheel chair. He's physically disabled (not mentally at all) and all the snow where they used to live kept him indoors much more than they wanted. Ellen and her mom bought a house together here, and sister traveled Europe and lived in the U.K. for a few years, then blew the rest of her inheritance on a condo here in town.
Ellen's son is a teenager now, really nice kid, funny and smart. Ellen is the best mom anybody could ever hope for - she fights for his rights every day, just so he will be treated like the other kids. For example, last year his school's principal would not give him the elevator key, insisting that he only take the elevator with an adult present. Not only was that impractical, but a safety issue (what if there's a fire and no adult with a key is there?), but most importantly, all the other kids go to classes by themselves, and her son should be able to, too.
She fought the school for a year (and won the tribunal!) but this is just one example of the battles she fights for him. He has also started speaking up for himself in human rights issues, which is SO important because she might not always be around to help him.
Anyway, the worst part of Ellen's life is her mother. And her sister. Mother is just plain mean to Ellen, and favors her other daughter openly. In fact, Ellen's mother is just plain mean to everyone but sister who is treated like a princess.
One time when my daughter and I went to Ellen's for lunch, and for the kids to play, it was a nice day so we were outside. The kids were having fun, they were pretending to have a restaurant, Ellen's son was the cook and my daughter was the waitress. They worked this out themselves, since it was easier for my daughter to run back and forth bringing "food" to us, and Ellen's son wanted to sit and "cook."
Ellen's mother came and sat down and watched for awhile. Then she grabbed a small metal plate that was on the table, and threw it, pretty hard, like a frisbee (she said later it was towards her grandson). That was bizarre enough behavior, to suddenly fling something like that, but the worst part is she hit my daughter in the head with the edge of the plate! It was really obvious to everyone that she intended to hit my daughter! Ellen and my daughter and I all talked about it later, and we don't go over there very often after that.
SO we are getting to the question. Ellen and her mom's house has a vacation rental apartment. Sometimes my husband's colleagues will stay there when in town for business (and vacationing after a few days), and this is the case at the moment. GOOD friends of ours are staying in the rental apartment right now.
I found out last night that Ellen's mom took them for a tour of the garden, and said derogatory things about Ellen the entire time! Our friends were embarrassed - they knew Ellen is my best friend here, and they had been hearing such wonderful things about her from me.
Should I tell Ellen? Her mother is crossing a line from personal into business! She's probably been doing this to all the people we've referred there! There's not much Ellen can do about it, I guess, but things have been so bad with her mother she really wants to grab her son and move out.
Thanks for reading this book and for your thoughts.
p.s. One time Ellen's mom made a comment how a race car driver who crashed is "better off dead than in a wheelchair." And she said it in front of her grandson in his wheelchair, his mom, his friend, and his friend's mom.
My friend (I'll call her Ellen) and I have been best friends for 10 years. She has been here for me through everything, with always kind words and great advice. We cry together, laugh together, and lay all our problems out on the table (and then help each other solve them). You know how sometimes you have a friend who'll say things that makes you feel kind of icky? Ellen has NEVER done that, she is some kind of awesomely beautiful person, I don't know how many times I have thanked God for having such a wonderful friend in my life.
Ellen has it pretty rough at home. Her father died quite a while ago without a will, and she handled all his legal affairs. She decided, along with her mother and (adult) sister, to move to a warmer climate since Ellen's son is in a wheel chair. He's physically disabled (not mentally at all) and all the snow where they used to live kept him indoors much more than they wanted. Ellen and her mom bought a house together here, and sister traveled Europe and lived in the U.K. for a few years, then blew the rest of her inheritance on a condo here in town.
Ellen's son is a teenager now, really nice kid, funny and smart. Ellen is the best mom anybody could ever hope for - she fights for his rights every day, just so he will be treated like the other kids. For example, last year his school's principal would not give him the elevator key, insisting that he only take the elevator with an adult present. Not only was that impractical, but a safety issue (what if there's a fire and no adult with a key is there?), but most importantly, all the other kids go to classes by themselves, and her son should be able to, too.
She fought the school for a year (and won the tribunal!) but this is just one example of the battles she fights for him. He has also started speaking up for himself in human rights issues, which is SO important because she might not always be around to help him.
Anyway, the worst part of Ellen's life is her mother. And her sister. Mother is just plain mean to Ellen, and favors her other daughter openly. In fact, Ellen's mother is just plain mean to everyone but sister who is treated like a princess.
One time when my daughter and I went to Ellen's for lunch, and for the kids to play, it was a nice day so we were outside. The kids were having fun, they were pretending to have a restaurant, Ellen's son was the cook and my daughter was the waitress. They worked this out themselves, since it was easier for my daughter to run back and forth bringing "food" to us, and Ellen's son wanted to sit and "cook."
Ellen's mother came and sat down and watched for awhile. Then she grabbed a small metal plate that was on the table, and threw it, pretty hard, like a frisbee (she said later it was towards her grandson). That was bizarre enough behavior, to suddenly fling something like that, but the worst part is she hit my daughter in the head with the edge of the plate! It was really obvious to everyone that she intended to hit my daughter! Ellen and my daughter and I all talked about it later, and we don't go over there very often after that.
SO we are getting to the question. Ellen and her mom's house has a vacation rental apartment. Sometimes my husband's colleagues will stay there when in town for business (and vacationing after a few days), and this is the case at the moment. GOOD friends of ours are staying in the rental apartment right now.
I found out last night that Ellen's mom took them for a tour of the garden, and said derogatory things about Ellen the entire time! Our friends were embarrassed - they knew Ellen is my best friend here, and they had been hearing such wonderful things about her from me.
Should I tell Ellen? Her mother is crossing a line from personal into business! She's probably been doing this to all the people we've referred there! There's not much Ellen can do about it, I guess, but things have been so bad with her mother she really wants to grab her son and move out.
Thanks for reading this book and for your thoughts.
p.s. One time Ellen's mom made a comment how a race car driver who crashed is "better off dead than in a wheelchair." And she said it in front of her grandson in his wheelchair, his mom, his friend, and his friend's mom.
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