Settling in a shy kitten

I got a new kitten on Friday night (Sunday morning now). He (Jasper) is about 10 - 12 weeks old. I got him at a local vet. Jasper and his brother and sister were found in someone's backyard and cared for in a foster home. He had been up for adoption at the vets for about 2 weeks. He is a very shy kitty and I'm curious about the best way to help him settle in and learn to trust me. I think the foster carer and vet nurses handled him as much as possible but mostly by holding him in a blanket so he can hide. He was even hiding under a blanket at the vets!! Poor things were kept in a display window which I think would have been quite stressful. I have held him twice since getting him home, also in a blanket. He purrs (anxious?) and lets me pat him while being held, but he gets away at the first opportunity. Mostly he spends his time hiding which is understandable. He comes out to eat, use litter, and will play with me but he is very wary and darts back into hiding if I make a sudden move. He changed hiding places last night to under the coffee table next to me so I think that's a good sign. At night he comes out more to play, but he also cries and tries to work out an escape route. What I'm really wondering is whether I should be trying to pick him up and hold him at this stage? Or should I wait for him to gain confidence around me first? I'm thinking its the latter. My idea is to sit near him when he eats, play with him as much as possible, talk to him etc. I will gradually get him used to being patted and then move on to holding him. Does that sound ok? I'm just worried that he is used to being held by carers and if I give him a break, he will not like it ever! I don't really mind if he is never a cuddly cat, if that's his personality. I just want him to trust me, and hopefully like my company. When I got him home, I made the mistake of putting him in the living room/kitchen which is where I spend most of the time. I've even been sleeping in the living room! I realise now I probably should have given him somewhere smaller and quieter. It's just me living on my own though so I hope I haven't stressed him too much.

Jasper sounds like a sweetie, you are doing a great job, just give time, time, for him to acclimate- I would let him come to you, treats help too time..

Thanks for letting me know I'm on the right track. I think he is a real sweetie too. I'll let him set the pace then. He has now ventured as far as sniffing my hands and feet - of course he ran back cover straight away!! And he'll let my hand come near him so long as it carries either snacks or toys I'm feeling more confident that he will be ok.

You ARE on the right track, letting him come in his own pace,  encouraging him in many ways.

Let him have his safety place, where he can be undisturbed (but you CAN reach in if necessary).

although there IS this trick, wrapping him up in a soft thick towel, and carrying at your chest, singing softly and talking sweetly... Not too thick, so he feels your body warmth and feels your heart.

A blanket is thus a little too thick...

Good luck!

Your instincts are great! Just being around him - especially if you can get down on the floor and lie and read/talk to him there - are perfect for establishing trust.  He sounds like he is making progress already.

 

Let him show you when he's ready for petting.  Offering a loosely closed hand for sniffing is a good start, then he might rub against it, or you may be able to try and gently stroke (once for a start) his chest (this is less confronting than head/face). When he allows this, pet him where he is, without picking him up.  Little bit by little bit.  Give him lovely hidey places (it lets you spoil him, and create a hiding place that is also good for you) - eg: tents, boxes, cubes, hammocks under chairs.  The other wonderful thing I learned about was cat kisses - slowly blinking both eyes at the cat with a loving look.  They will begin to return them!  And you can do this any time, any place, without touching him.

Sounds like he has found a good home with you!

Thanks guys. Jasper's doing really well. I let him take the lead and I'm getting the rewards already. He came out for a crazy play session last night. He was running, jumping and doing somersaults! He kept a watchful eye on me and shot off into hiding lots . After dinner he was jumping over my legs and running into me. He cried a little at the window but I distracted him with play. By the time I went to sleep he was jumping up on the couch with me. Then he curled up and went to sleep on my legs. This morning I woke up at 7 and he was crying and agitated. But he came over to me, jumped up and omg he was so lovely! He was rubbing his head all over me, purring, licking, kneading me, drooling, rolling around - the works!! That went on for about an hour with him just crashing out occasionally and having little kitty dreams. He's still skittish and wary of me when I'm moving about but he is adjusting so well, I'm so proud of him! He's asleep on my lap now. Oh, and his newest hiding spot is under the blanket right next to my feet. And I've been practising cat kisses too

So happy for you!!

I'm getting my new kitten tomorrow...hopefully will have a good settling in just like you.  It will be the first time I've had a second cat and had to do introductions, so just a little anxious!

tammyp said:

So happy for you!!

I'm getting my new kitten tomorrow...hopefully will have a good settling in just like you.  It will be the first time I've had a second cat and had to do introductions, so just a little anxious!

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Please, dont forget to start a suitable tread for this your new happening, and tell about it.  If you do it in another of our forums, please make a link to it, so its easy to find for us.   

I for myself usually dont follow all forums. Closely just  Preg+Kitten, Ferales, Descripting, the others only occasionally, usually if I see errands with pregs, ferales/rescues and kittens....

Good luck!

I'm sure you'll know what to do. Your advice to me was spot on! Isn't our own anxiety just so unhelpful sometimes. I've only just stopped worrying Jasper will find a way outside. Good luck and enjoy the new kitten!