Penske
Jan 18, 1997 – April 6, 2011
This post is late, I know. I found this site after we lost you. Looking for answers. Staying here because the community was so warm and filled with great support and knowledge. I thought it would get easier with time to talk about you, but it hasn't, really. I miss you so much. But, I thought it was time to share you with others.
It took us awhile to find you, Penske, but the search was well worth it. After we were approved as adoptive parents, we anxiously awaited your arrival. You weren’t allowed to fly until you were 16 weeks old, but your breeder, Mama C., knew we were anxious, so she let you come a week early.
We first set on eyes on you May 2, 1997, when the airline luggage vehicle drove up with you from the airplane; you were in your carrier next to him on the front seat. You squeaked a greeting to us and came to the front of the cage. I was excited to meet you, but felt bad taking you from your mama in California and putting you on two airplanes to fly to Nebraska
We took you home where your grandparents (Dad’s parents) were waiting to meet you - their grand furbaby! You were so tiny, with big ears and all legs. We kept you in our bedroom to let you know it was your ‘safe’ place. Right away Dad asked how you were going to get on our bed, where we hoped you would sleep with us. Just to show him, you jumped from the floor to the middle of the bed, easily clearing the top.
You did not seem to be familiar with the inside of a home and were soon baptized when you went running into the bathroom where Dad had the toilet seat up peeing. For awhile, loud noises scared you, like the can opener, the blow dryer, etc., but you quickly learned all was safe and okay.
You first slept on my pillow above my head, and then moved to sleeping between us with your feet outstretched so she could touch us both. You and Dad eventually became best buds, and you slept nestled on his left side, waking him to make a spot if wasn’t situated just right.
Dad always arrived home from work first, and you were always waiting on the stairwell banister for him.
We took you everywhere with us, well, everywhere we could and thought it would be safe. Camping in a 25-ft travel trailer along with grandma and grandpa, on hunting trips (when we stayed in a pet friendly hotel), even to grandma and grandpas when we went back home to visit every couple of months.
Soon after bringing you home, Mama C. contacted us, asking if she could share our contact info with the owners of your brother. There were only the two of you in the litter, and they said they wished they had taken both of you. It started a 13+ year ritual of you sending Christmas and Birthday cards to your brother, Paxil, first in California, then in Florida. You told each other about all the antics you had been up to during the year.
One of my first scares was while on a camping trip. On the last day of the trip, grandpa was putting things away in the back of the camper using a door that opened to the outside of the camper. You found a way to get from the inside to the compartment under the sofa so you could watch him. We looked everywhere for you and I was frantic. I was not leaving the campsite until I found you! Eventually you were spotted sitting in the compartment looking outside as if nothing was amiss.
When we painted the house, you liked to climb the ladder and set on the top step. Once you jumped in the paint pan and then ran to find a place to hide, leaving terra cotta colored cat tracks right to your hiding spot under the end table.
Dad liked to play catch with you. He would throw a fluffy toy to you and you would catch it and hold it, biting it sometimes, and then drop it back to him. One of your favorite toys was some beads that were put in my hair when it was braided while in Mazatlan while on a cruise. When I decided to take the braids out, one fell to the floor, and you immediately took off after it batting it around, and then putting it in your mouth to chew on it, never swallowing one.
When you were young, you liked iceberg lettuce. As soon as I would tear some leaves off, you would appear at the fridge and want some. That later turned into a love of shredded cheese, and became a nightly ritual at 7 pm. You also liked to bat ice cubes around if one fell out of the ice dispenser, and liked to have them in her water dish.
Your brother, Paxil, passed away suddenly in 2010. I am not sure if it was his heart, but perhaps due to how sudden he was gone, passing in his Mamas arms at home. He was loved very much and his family was so very sad to lose him. I should have used his passing as a sign that I needed to be more vigilant with your health.
You were always so healthy, even had good teeth – no dentals for this girl! The vet never recommended blood work in the 14 years we took you in for annual checkups. We did not realize that the larger than normal pee clumps or the drinking of more water when you were was 13 was anything to be concerned about or mentioned to the vet.
One week before we were to leave for a 7-day cruise, I noticed you were not eating much. For several weeks before you seemed to have less energy. I chalked it up to arthritis and had been putting boxes to use as steps around the areas you like to sit, so you could get to your perch easier.
I took you to the vet and was shocked to learn you had chronic kidney failure with little kidney function remaining. The vet suggested we feed you Hills k/d and recommended subs fluids. For long term success, she recommended in-hospital iv fluids.
You responded so well to the first subq fluids, that we decided to allow the in hospital iv fluids the weekend before we were to leave for vacation. I thought that would get you by until we returned. A friend was going to stay with you while we were gone.
We dropped you off on Saturday and I felt awful. The weekend was terrible without you. On Monday, I brought you home. Your little paw held onto my index finger from the cat carrier while I drove home.
You did well for a day, and then your little lungs started to fill with fluids on Tuesday afternoon. You were given Lasix Wednesday morning at home by the vet who made a house call, but it wasn’t enough, you couldn’t breathe.
We decided around noon on April 6, 2011, that you had struggled enough and asked the vet return to do in-home euthanasia. I keep wondering if I did the right thing in letting you go that day? Did I let the Lasix have enough time to work? How long did you have left if we just did the subq’s at home? I thought I made the right decision, rushed by a stupid vacation, and that you would be waiting for me when we returned. I relied upon the vet and your breeder to guide me, so the decision was as informed as it could be with the knowledge I had and the short time frame of making a decision. If only I had demanded blood work and further tests as you entered your senior years...
I still feel so much guilt and regret over the chain of events that led to losing you so suddenly. I am so sorry, baby.
We had you privately cremated, and I have kept your ashes in a beautiful wooden box beside some of your favorite toys. I often talk to you, and stroke the box you are in, and hold your toys, remembering you playing with them.
I am grateful for the 14+ years that you were with us. You made our lives so much richer. Thank you for being such a wonderful, sweet girl. I wish I had been a better cat mom for you.
The flowers are not as fragrant, the birds not as cheerful, sleeping in on the weekend isn’t as delightful…
Life has not been the same without you.
April 1, 2011
We still miss you and love you dearly, Penske
Jan 18, 1997 – April 6, 2011
This post is late, I know. I found this site after we lost you. Looking for answers. Staying here because the community was so warm and filled with great support and knowledge. I thought it would get easier with time to talk about you, but it hasn't, really. I miss you so much. But, I thought it was time to share you with others.
It took us awhile to find you, Penske, but the search was well worth it. After we were approved as adoptive parents, we anxiously awaited your arrival. You weren’t allowed to fly until you were 16 weeks old, but your breeder, Mama C., knew we were anxious, so she let you come a week early.
We first set on eyes on you May 2, 1997, when the airline luggage vehicle drove up with you from the airplane; you were in your carrier next to him on the front seat. You squeaked a greeting to us and came to the front of the cage. I was excited to meet you, but felt bad taking you from your mama in California and putting you on two airplanes to fly to Nebraska
We took you home where your grandparents (Dad’s parents) were waiting to meet you - their grand furbaby! You were so tiny, with big ears and all legs. We kept you in our bedroom to let you know it was your ‘safe’ place. Right away Dad asked how you were going to get on our bed, where we hoped you would sleep with us. Just to show him, you jumped from the floor to the middle of the bed, easily clearing the top.
You did not seem to be familiar with the inside of a home and were soon baptized when you went running into the bathroom where Dad had the toilet seat up peeing. For awhile, loud noises scared you, like the can opener, the blow dryer, etc., but you quickly learned all was safe and okay.
You first slept on my pillow above my head, and then moved to sleeping between us with your feet outstretched so she could touch us both. You and Dad eventually became best buds, and you slept nestled on his left side, waking him to make a spot if wasn’t situated just right.
Dad always arrived home from work first, and you were always waiting on the stairwell banister for him.
We took you everywhere with us, well, everywhere we could and thought it would be safe. Camping in a 25-ft travel trailer along with grandma and grandpa, on hunting trips (when we stayed in a pet friendly hotel), even to grandma and grandpas when we went back home to visit every couple of months.
Soon after bringing you home, Mama C. contacted us, asking if she could share our contact info with the owners of your brother. There were only the two of you in the litter, and they said they wished they had taken both of you. It started a 13+ year ritual of you sending Christmas and Birthday cards to your brother, Paxil, first in California, then in Florida. You told each other about all the antics you had been up to during the year.
One of my first scares was while on a camping trip. On the last day of the trip, grandpa was putting things away in the back of the camper using a door that opened to the outside of the camper. You found a way to get from the inside to the compartment under the sofa so you could watch him. We looked everywhere for you and I was frantic. I was not leaving the campsite until I found you! Eventually you were spotted sitting in the compartment looking outside as if nothing was amiss.
When we painted the house, you liked to climb the ladder and set on the top step. Once you jumped in the paint pan and then ran to find a place to hide, leaving terra cotta colored cat tracks right to your hiding spot under the end table.
Dad liked to play catch with you. He would throw a fluffy toy to you and you would catch it and hold it, biting it sometimes, and then drop it back to him. One of your favorite toys was some beads that were put in my hair when it was braided while in Mazatlan while on a cruise. When I decided to take the braids out, one fell to the floor, and you immediately took off after it batting it around, and then putting it in your mouth to chew on it, never swallowing one.
When you were young, you liked iceberg lettuce. As soon as I would tear some leaves off, you would appear at the fridge and want some. That later turned into a love of shredded cheese, and became a nightly ritual at 7 pm. You also liked to bat ice cubes around if one fell out of the ice dispenser, and liked to have them in her water dish.
Your brother, Paxil, passed away suddenly in 2010. I am not sure if it was his heart, but perhaps due to how sudden he was gone, passing in his Mamas arms at home. He was loved very much and his family was so very sad to lose him. I should have used his passing as a sign that I needed to be more vigilant with your health.
You were always so healthy, even had good teeth – no dentals for this girl! The vet never recommended blood work in the 14 years we took you in for annual checkups. We did not realize that the larger than normal pee clumps or the drinking of more water when you were was 13 was anything to be concerned about or mentioned to the vet.
One week before we were to leave for a 7-day cruise, I noticed you were not eating much. For several weeks before you seemed to have less energy. I chalked it up to arthritis and had been putting boxes to use as steps around the areas you like to sit, so you could get to your perch easier.
I took you to the vet and was shocked to learn you had chronic kidney failure with little kidney function remaining. The vet suggested we feed you Hills k/d and recommended subs fluids. For long term success, she recommended in-hospital iv fluids.
You responded so well to the first subq fluids, that we decided to allow the in hospital iv fluids the weekend before we were to leave for vacation. I thought that would get you by until we returned. A friend was going to stay with you while we were gone.
We dropped you off on Saturday and I felt awful. The weekend was terrible without you. On Monday, I brought you home. Your little paw held onto my index finger from the cat carrier while I drove home.
You did well for a day, and then your little lungs started to fill with fluids on Tuesday afternoon. You were given Lasix Wednesday morning at home by the vet who made a house call, but it wasn’t enough, you couldn’t breathe.
We decided around noon on April 6, 2011, that you had struggled enough and asked the vet return to do in-home euthanasia. I keep wondering if I did the right thing in letting you go that day? Did I let the Lasix have enough time to work? How long did you have left if we just did the subq’s at home? I thought I made the right decision, rushed by a stupid vacation, and that you would be waiting for me when we returned. I relied upon the vet and your breeder to guide me, so the decision was as informed as it could be with the knowledge I had and the short time frame of making a decision. If only I had demanded blood work and further tests as you entered your senior years...
I still feel so much guilt and regret over the chain of events that led to losing you so suddenly. I am so sorry, baby.
We had you privately cremated, and I have kept your ashes in a beautiful wooden box beside some of your favorite toys. I often talk to you, and stroke the box you are in, and hold your toys, remembering you playing with them.
I am grateful for the 14+ years that you were with us. You made our lives so much richer. Thank you for being such a wonderful, sweet girl. I wish I had been a better cat mom for you.
The flowers are not as fragrant, the birds not as cheerful, sleeping in on the weekend isn’t as delightful…
Life has not been the same without you.
April 1, 2011
We still miss you and love you dearly, Penske
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