Stray Socialization

Hi, I'm new to the forum and would love some feedback about a stray I've named Sophie. Sophie showed up at my condo complex in mid-December, starving. We were able to catch her and determine she was not chipped. She was very affectionate until I fed her and she no longer was hungry. This began a three-month period of very slowly gaining her trust. Two steps forward, one step back. Finally, in mid-March I brought her into my home after making the spare bedroom her safe room. Over the next several weeks, she calmed down and is back to loving her petting and rarely hiding. On two occasions she has lashed out during petting, hissing and swatting at me, and once drawing blood. no big deal. i didn't react. I figured she was overstimulated and i had missed the signs. have two rescues, also female, who have been sniffing under the door. i rubbed their scents on fabric and all have become familiar with each others' scents. About two weeks ago, I began leaving the door open. My rescues have spent time in her room (with Sophie hiding in the closet) to sniff around, with the occasional hiss. Sophie hasn't hissed, just the rescues. They have stopped going into her room, but do peer at her through the open door. Sophie has begun to explore the hallway, going a little farther each time, before running back into her safe room. The rescues continue to hiss at her from a distance. Recently, things began to deteriorate. Last week, Sophie charged at my "alpha" rescue twice (in the hallway), stopping just short of her and running back into her room. Then last night, I was petting Sophie and she was purring, when suddenly she ran out into the hallway and attacked Sophie as she was walking by (and not hissing). The altercation didn't last long. A bit of fur flew, and then Sophie returned to her room. This is after living in my home for a month, now. I didn't react negatively. I was matter of fact about it so as not to stir them up further. Sophie also gets upset in the night, plaintively meowing. I sometimes get up and give her pets to calm her down. This morning she seemed more skittish than normal. Her progress continues to be two steps up, one step back.

My concern is that Sophie will not learn to live in peace and harmony with my other two female cats, and vice versa. They are 8 now, and the vet said Sophie is 3 or 4. How much time should I give them before giving up? Is there anything I can do to help the process? Sophie eats and sleeps in her safe room. She has her own litter box and toys. I have put Feliway in her room and my bedroom, which is where the other two spend the majority of their time. it's been a month and she doesn't venture far from her safe room. And she acts aggressively toward my other kitty. They are not aggressive toward her, other than the defensive growling.

Thanks for any advice! I don't want to give her up.

I meant above that Sophie attacked Sadie (one of my rescues) not that she attacked herself. Oops.

I am not an expert, but could it be that Sophie wants to expand her territory and attacking your other cats in the hallway is a way of telling them that the hallway is also hers space? Maybe they would calm down later and the attacks are a way of getting also to know each other?

Welcome to the site! How wonderful that you have taken in Sophie. First off, is she spayed? I am assuming so. I think if I were you, I would return Sophie to her safe room. Allow the "rescues" to go into Sophie's room with Sophie confined to either another room in the house, inside a crate or bathroom. This does take work and some time to accomplish each day but very important. Then allow Sophie access to the house without the other two free roaming. Put the rescue girls in your bedroom for example. I would do this for as many days as it takes for Sophie to get accustomed to the new territory. I really think she is feeling insecure about the new territory with the added stress of the other two rescues. Allow her some time to roam and inspect the house without the other two. Inspecting also means spending time with you while you pet her without her thinking "someone" is lurking. Also, spend extra time with your two other girls without Sophie around. I do think you can have your happy cat family but it takes time. There really is no time limit on when cats will adjust to each other and trust each other. I think when things go wrong like this it is because things are moving too fast for comfort. Slow and slower is the way to go here. Sophie obviously likes her room as she always runs back to it so for right now I would only allow her out of her room when the other two are confined elsewhere. Things will improve but in time. Here is an article that will have some suggestions as well. http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

It sounds like you did all the right things. But sometimes some cats just don't like each other.

The only thing I can think of is to put them together in a cattery for a "holiday" for a week. If there is one that you use when you go on holiday talk to them about it and see what they think. Then when they are away give your place a big spring clean and move things around. When they are back at home behave as if they all belong together.

Putting them in a cattery is going to cause more problems than it solves.  It will give them the idea that they are going to be dumped. And moving everything around is going to stress the other cats out and may start litter box problems.

Stay with the introduction scheme, keep the nails trimmed, and let them proceed at their own pace.  Use a feliway diffuser. Follow the advice Lauren gave you. It may take some time before they all sort out the 'pecking order', but they will.

Thank you so much for the excellent advice! I think you're exactly right that she's ready to explore but feels added stress by the lurking kitties. She's probably wishing they'd back off while she has a look around. I will put the oldtimers on my room tonight (and listen to them whine) and let Sophie explore without them hissing at her. That will also give me an opportunity to vacuum her room. It's getting rather furry. I'm not certain Sophie is spayed, but I'm guessing she is. My vet examined her and she's a healthy little girl showing no signs of pregnancy. She hasn't exhibited signs of being in heat, which in central Texas, would have occurred by now due to the warm climate. No worries about taking anyone to a cattery. They never leave my home! I have a pet sitter and a mobile vet.

Okay, I shall take a deep breath and slow the process down. I kept the door to her safe room closed last night, and everyone seemed in much better spirits this morning. By the way, all three are black and fluffy. It's sometimes difficult to tell them apart. Sophie, Sadie,and Sally. As a fluffy black cat, little Sophie knew just where to go to be saved from the cruel outdoors.

Your so welcome and I do think that if you try this new approach you will have success. BUT :lol3: Don't get them mixed up being all black and fluffy!!!!!! I love the long-haired black cats and think they are beautiful. Long deep breaths are good therapy when doing these intros. :bigwink: Keep us posted.

catspaw66 said:

Putting them in a cattery is going to cause more problems than it solves. 

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Absolutely. I do understand the thought process though but in this situation it would not work with Sophie being the newbie and now just starting to make great progress in her new home. Keep things going slow and easy.

Feralvr said:

Welcome to the site! How wonderful that you have taken in Sophie. First off, is she spayed? I am assuming so. I think if I were you, I would return Sophie to her safe room. Allow the "rescues" to go into Sophie's room with Sophie confined to either another room in the house, inside a crate or bathroom. This does take work and some time to accomplish each day but very important. Then allow Sophie access to the house without the other two free roaming. Put the rescue girls in your bedroom for example. I would do this for as many days as it takes for Sophie to get accustomed to the new territory. I really think she is feeling insecure about the new territory with the added stress of the other two rescues. Allow her some time to roam and inspect the house without the other two. Inspecting also means spending time with you while you pet her without her thinking "someone" is lurking. Also, spend extra time with your two other girls without Sophie around. I do think you can have your happy cat family but it takes time. There really is no time limit on when cats will adjust to each other and trust each other. I think when things go wrong like this it is because things are moving too fast for comfort. Slow and slower is the way to go here. Sophie obviously likes her room as she always runs back to it so for right now I would only allow her out of her room when the other two are confined elsewhere. Things will improve but in time. Here is an article that will have some suggestions as well. http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

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I absolutely agree with this. Sophie needs to feel like she is part of the whole house and doesn't need to defend that one little area.

One other step that needs to be done is feeding them on opposite sides of that closed door to her safe room. Food to cats equals good things. When they eat in this way they learn to associate those good feelings with the other cats smell. Goes hand in hand with the scent swapping using blankets or towels as described in the link Lauren provided. Cats go at their own pace. The process could take as little as a few weeks to months. They may never be best of friends, but should learn to tolerate each other. Though there are the rare few who never tolerate other cats. Good luck and keep us posted please.

I agree that the cattery won't be the same for cats as it might be for us. Too much change. For humans, that would be a tonic. For cats, not so much. But it would be nice if there was a way to reintroduce all the cats to the home, a fresh start so to speak. Hmm, TCS members, maybe we're missing a golden opportunity!

Katluver4life said:

They may never be best of friends, but should learn to tolerate each other. Though there are the rare few who never tolerate other cats.

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Yes, they can "learn" to tolerate :nod:. Two of my six reluctantly permit and allow each others presence, or should I say ONE - the rincess:. Perla dislikes Wendall and rightly so. He enjoys poking fun at her and teasing her. It has been two years since Wendall and Walden came into our lives and I honestly see Perla becoming more and more accepting of Wendall. It can happen but most times people give up too soon on the cats. :shame: I honestly believe that there are a very, very rare few cats that will never live peacefully with another cat. But that is really rare. Most cats can live in harmony with each other and set their own boundaries of tolerance.

You all have given such great advice. And it's the weekend so I have plenty of time to put your suggestions into action. I feel so encouraged! I will not give up on Sophie! After all, I sat outside every evening for three months during winter waiting for her to show for dinner. She wouldn't come near me for the first two months. Eventually, she would eat next to me, and finally she let me pet her. I think she's taught me patience. Just because she's living inside doesn't mean she'll go warp speed ahead. She still needs lots of time. As do Sadie and Sally. Just knowing it can be done makes me feel so much better. So I shall feed them on either side of the door and give Sophie time to explore without the lurkers making her nervous. I'll let you know how we do.

Thank you again!

Hi, lovely cat people. Just popping in to give an update on Sophie Queen of Sheeba. Perhaps I should change her name to Sheeba. You see, Sophie is perfectly content to stay in her safe room. She won't leave! I installed a fantastic cat tree in her room over the weekend. So far, she ignores it. But she does love to sit on top of the mattresses I leaned up against the wall (to keep her from hiding beneath the bed for all eternity). She plays with her toys, eats her dry food and morning tuna, has her box scooped twice a day, and gets pets from me in the morning and several times in the evening. My neighbor comes by during the day and gives her more pets. For many hours over the weekend, I put stepsisters Sadie and Sally in my bedroom and left Sophie's door open. I went about my day and evening and she never left her room. I sat at the end of the hall and tried to lure her out. She isn't interested! She wants to stay in her room and have us come in and give her lots of pets and stroking and play, while she purrs and drools. Yes, Sophie drools when she's especially content.

I also fed Sadie and Sally on one side of her door, and Sophie on the other. Sadie hissed a bit, but for once was more interested in her food. Previously she had not been enticed and would not eat treats anywhere near Sophie's open door. She was much to busy monitoring Sophie with vigilance. We also had play sessions on either side of the open door. I played with Sadie in the hall while neighbor played with Sophie in her room. Both played and didn't stare at each other with aggression. This morning, Sophie did bolt out of her room for just a moment towards Sadie who was watching her from the other end of the hall. But I yelled, Sophie, no! and she came back into her room and allowed herself to be distracted with interactive play.

So we've had less aggression, so that's good. But she absolutely refuses to explore. The little pill cannot spend the rest of her days isolated in her safe room. I've got to figure out a way to get her to come out and explore. She's been inside a month now! Could I still be expecting too much too soon?

You have to let her take things at her own pace. Maybe Sophie could become Sheba Diva. It sounds like the second part already fits. Or Sophie Queen of Diva.  Yeah, I like the second one.

Be patient, cats can be very stubborn.  I feel that she will come out when she is completely ready.

We have a cat who has her own room, so Sophie is not unusual at all. If she's happy in there and gets enough socializing with her people, that might just be fine.

Our solo cat, Teresa, likes us but does not like other cats. Her twin will go into her room for about five minutes to see if she's left any wet food he can snarf down. But he is never in there long. Teresa is a torti, so she has the torti-Tude.

A month isn't very long at all for everyone to be acquainted. Give it some more time. My cats did not get along for a year and now there is hissing and charging but no actual fights. I'm happy they aren't trying to kill each other like at first!

She needs lots of time to feel safe at her own pace.  Once she is completely comfortable in her safe room, she might begin to venture out.  You could always start to play with her with a wand type toy and if she really likes it, begin to play with it just outside the door.  You could also put a small amount of food just outside the door as well. 

One of my ferals has been coming inside the house for over 2 years now.  Yet, he refuses to venture off the 1st floor. I was once able to entice him upstairs with some treats, but he absolutely freaked out.  I know in his own time, he will decide to do it. 

Good luck.  I am sure she will come around.  Just give her time and patience!
 

Completely agree with everyone - Let Sophie (Sheeba?? ) You must let Sophie take the lead and make the decision to leave her room. Why worry about it and wanting to rush it. You have a lifetime with her and your other cats. I would be pretty happy if I were you the way things are going with such great improvement. What does it matter if Sophie stays in her safe room for as long as she needs. Eventually, I think she will surprise you and want to take that next step. Let her be happy for now because she certainly IS!!!!!! If you push her, she will only regress and it could make matters worse again for her relationship with the other two kitties. They are building a relationship right now at their own pace. :nod: :bigthumb:

Here's the little Diva. She IS happy in her safe room. I think the only reason I am anxious for her to branch out is so she'll get more attention. But since she's happy, I will be patient. Tonight we made more progress with introductions. Chicken is magical. Both Sadie and Sally ate theirs just outside Sophie's room, and Sophie ate hers right next to the open door. They were all happily scarfing down chicken, within two feet of each other, with no hissing or growling. None! Sally is very shy, so her willingness to partake was very encouraging. All in all, a very good night. As Sophie lay next to me afterward, cuddled up to my leg purring and drooling, I reminded myself how far she's come. Before I brought her inside, she was terribly skittish and frightened. It took months before she relaxed a bit and allowed some petting. When I first brought her in, she hid in the closet for at least a week. Now when I enter the room, she comes running. No more hiding! And she no longer freaks out every time I stand up. You're right, we are making great progress. I just need to keep reminding myself how far she's come. And that we have as much time as she needs. Baby kitty steps.

Thank you so much, all of you, for your encouragement.