Which one is Alpha Cat?

Sam and Bailey get along really well, and actually, I had very little problem introducing them. I think that Sam may be alpha, I feed him first, and he grooms Bailey, but seldom lets her groom him.

I am cat sitting. Tatiana is much younger, just about one and still kittenish, and loves to play. I have her isolated with all her stuff, but she knows there is more to the house and is desperate to come out and play. Sam followed me into her room, walked once around, looked at her and hissed, and has ignored her since.

Bailey is very upset. She hisses and growls, and stares at the door where that nasty cat lives. Tatiana follows her around and just pesters her. So they end up in boxing matches, batting at each other, and Bailey hissing at her. But neither of them run away. Eventually (after a minute or two) I separate them. And I have kept the contact to supervised periods, no more than an hour.

So is Sam Alpha, that's why he doesn't care? Or is he low cat on the totem pole, so no new cat threatens him. Is Bailey alpha, that's why she is trying to put the new cat in her place? Or is she trying to hold on to her place as second in command?

Its all very interesting and as she is only here for three weeks total, they never do have to get along. It would just be nice for Tatiana if she were able to play with them.

And three cats, are way too much work for me. I like having two, I can pick up one in each arm and move them.

in just my opinion, Sam would be Alpha because he is not threatened. Bailey needs to try to hold on to 2nd place and not slip into 3rd.
of course, it could be the female to female intro is harder (another thing I found with my gang)

i found it so hard to figure out which one of my two was the alpha. they get along pretty well, but i think charli maybe the alpha since she has to eat first and she was there first and shes older.

i agree that sam maybe the alpha and bailey is more nervous that her position may be compromised. i found with my two that when my friend brings over her pets, its mickey that seems to be pissed off, charli is more curious. then again it may just be their different personalities

Progress! All three cats are in the same room, and nobody is hissing at anyone else! The visitor cat has staked out her sleeping corner, which, fortunately, is not a spot either of the other two used for much. And I just went out to the store for two hours, left them all alone, and nobody killed anyone else. Not any visible clumps of fur from a cat fight! I am pleased, this is just 7 days since she arrived, and there are two weeks to go.

It sounds more like a male/female response to the visitor. Both of your cats are alpha cats in their own rights - one male and one female. The female is more threatened because you brought in a female visitor. My alpha male responds like that to most new cats, and my alpha female is the one to hiss and attack, particularly to females. My humble opinion only.

Glad to hear that they are getting along better.

More fascinating developments. Tatiana thinks that playing with other cats means leaping at them, especially when they are sleeping. The older lazy cats just try to avoid her, but their most vehement reaction is to hiss at her. And not with any great conviction, so I think that's ok.

I was playing with Sam and Bailey, with one of their wand toys. They play well together, each one grabbing a portion. Tatiana was lying across the room watching. So I thought I would try to include her. Bailey played just fine with her, Sam went into a big sulk. And when I rolled the ball around the edge of the turboscratcher, he got all animated, ran over to it, grabbed the wand toy, tucked it up underneath himself so nobody else could have any of it, and curled up on the turboscratcher so nobody else could play. What a pill!

And when Tatiana came too close earlier, he didn't object, he just got up, calmly walked into the other room, jumped on the table and ate her food.

So Bailey is trying to be friendly and play, but gets easily overwhelmed and runs for protection, Sam ignores the kitten, hides his toys, and when he's really peeved, eats her food.

I think its going pretty well.