The A & E show Horders

dejolane · Feb 27, 2013

Do you have things that you collect ? Is your house like the TV show Horders or do you know a person who lives like this ? Have you tried to help them ?

I realize that these people have a problem and need help.

dejolane

margecat · Feb 27, 2013

I sometimes watch Hoarders, but, after about 15 minutes, get disgusted, and turn it off.

I don't really collect anything--and that's the way I want to keep it. I hate having clutter.

I've known people who I think may have hoarders. My friend's boyfriend, who moved in with her over a year ago, may be a borderline one. He claimed just about every spot in her tiny house with his junk. He keeps every card he's given, back to his childhood, and he's in his 50's! His ex-wife was a real hoarder, I hear.

Willowy · Feb 27, 2013

I remember going to a relative's house when I was small. . .um, my grandpa's aunt, I think. Her house had little pathways through each room, everything else was solid clutter/junk, stacked to the ceiling. I have no idea what her kids did (they live in her house now) when she died, unless they live the same way :/. They would have had to rent a skidloader to clear the house, I think. But even at her house, at least you were walking on the floor. I can't believe some of the people on that show who are walking on top of several feet of junk, even in the pathways!

runekeeper · Feb 27, 2013

I think my mother is a borderline hoarder. She doesn't have crap stacked floor to ceiling yet, but she refuses to get rid of anything. Clothes she never wears, jewelry she never wears, dishes she no longer likes and are packed in boxes. She does recycle newspapers and bottles, which is good. I think what I hate most is when she won't let me get rid of stuff I no longer want. As in stuff that's mine. If it's some thing she got for me 15 years ago for my birthday, I'm not allowed to give it away or throw it away...even if I no longer want it. If I relocate said item to the basement, she screams that there's enough stuff down there already and either moves it back to my room or puts it in hers. This is why I still have the same ugly touch lamps i my room that have been there for 20 years. She won't let me get rid of them.

She also likes to rummage in the garbage cans in the house to make sure I don't throw away anything she wants or that she feels could be put to use. Like when I threw away a tube of lip gloss - it was so sticky and gross that I couldn't wear it, so I tossed it out. She dug it out of the very bottom of the garbage can and said that she would use it. That was at least 6 or 7 years ago and that lip gloss remains untouched in the bathroom. If I want to get rid of clothing, she has to know why. If it's because they don't fit, she tells me to lose weight to fit back into them. Every time I go to the thrift store with a bag of stuff, she has to go through it to approve everything in there to make sure it's nothing she bought for me 25 years ago and that it's nothing she might one day want to use.

This is why some perfectly good stuff that I want to donate gets burned (I live in the country where burning trash is OK). It's the only way to get it the hell out of the house and keep it out. I was also never able to use my closet ever because it's filled with my mother's old clothes (like stuff she wore 40 years ago).

The kitchen and living room are a mess too. Every flat surface has junk piled on it - the kitchen table is covered with papers and junk mail and clothes, the dogs' kennels are sunk in on top from pounds of junk on them. I tried to put my old desk from school in the basement after I got a new one, and since my mother spend a whopping $50 on my old desk, she felt it deserved better than the basement, so she put it in the kitchen. Which means another flat surface to stack stuff on. Blankets are on every piece of furniture in the house - I don't know why Mom spend $300 on couch covers when she's just gonna cover them up with blankets.

I quit cleaning up the clutter long ago. I would spend upwards of 4 hours straightening up the kitchen and living room trying to make it look as nice as I could without throwing anything away besides obvious trash like candy wrappers and wads of paper. Not worth it when my mother comes home from work and undoes 4 hours of cleaning in 15 minutes. Blankets that are nearly folded are thrown in piles on the floor, pillows arranged to look nice are thrown around, magazines that are stacked get scattered around. She'll decide only after I've cleaned that she needs some piece of crap receipt that's been on the table for 5 years...which is relocated to the drawer. Pots and pans that are put away are returned right back to the counter top and stove top.

It's like cleaning up a toddler's room and they run right in and mess it all back up. And Mom does this whole passive aggressive crap like saying, "Nobody can help me clean this ****ing house, I gotta do everything." Well if I could trust that the room could stay clean for maybe a week, I'd help straighten up more often. But not worth it at all when the house looks like ground zero 15 minutes after she sees it. I think she's just content to live in a complete pig sty - the house isn't dirty or a health hazard, but it's very cluttered and I think she likes it that way. Of course she screams about what a hog hole the house is on a regular basis, but I just kinda tune it out. Like I said, I've tried cleaning up for her and she just messes things back up again, so I no longer bother.

dejolane · Feb 28, 2013

RuneKeeper said:
I think my mother is a borderline hoarder. She doesn't have crap stacked floor to ceiling yet, but she refuses to get rid of anything. Clothes she never wears, jewelry she never wears, dishes she no longer likes and are packed in boxes. She does recycle newspapers and bottles, which is good. I think what I hate most is when she won't let me get rid of stuff I no longer want. As in stuff that's mine. If it's some thing she got for me 15 years ago for my birthday, I'm not allowed to give it away or throw it away...even if I no longer want it. If I relocate said item to the basement, she screams that there's enough stuff down there already and either moves it back to my room or puts it in hers. This is why I still have the same ugly touch lamps i my room that have been there for 20 years. She won't let me get rid of them.

She also likes to rummage in the garbage cans in the house to make sure I don't throw away anything she wants or that she feels could be put to use. Like when I threw away a tube of lip gloss - it was so sticky and gross that I couldn't wear it, so I tossed it out. She dug it out of the very bottom of the garbage can and said that she would use it. That was at least 6 or 7 years ago and that lip gloss remains untouched in the bathroom. If I want to get rid of clothing, she has to know why. If it's because they don't fit, she tells me to lose weight to fit back into them. Every time I go to the thrift store with a bag of stuff, she has to go through it to approve everything in there to make sure it's nothing she bought for me 25 years ago and that it's nothing she might one day want to use.

This is why some perfectly good stuff that I want to donate gets burned (I live in the country where burning trash is OK). It's the only way to get it the hell out of the house and keep it out. I was also never able to use my closet ever because it's filled with my mother's old clothes (like stuff she wore 40 years ago).

The kitchen and living room are a mess too. Every flat surface has junk piled on it - the kitchen table is covered with papers and junk mail and clothes, the dogs' kennels are sunk in on top from pounds of junk on them. I tried to put my old desk from school in the basement after I got a new one, and since my mother spend a whopping $50 on my old desk, she felt it deserved better than the basement, so she put it in the kitchen. Which means another flat surface to stack stuff on. Blankets are on every piece of furniture in the house - I don't know why Mom spend $300 on couch covers when she's just gonna cover them up with blankets.

I quit cleaning up the clutter long ago. I would spend upwards of 4 hours straightening up the kitchen and living room trying to make it look as nice as I could without throwing anything away besides obvious trash like candy wrappers and wads of paper. Not worth it when my mother comes home from work and undoes 4 hours of cleaning in 15 minutes. Blankets that are nearly folded are thrown in piles on the floor, pillows arranged to look nice are thrown around, magazines that are stacked get scattered around. She'll decide only after I've cleaned that she needs some piece of crap receipt that's been on the table for 5 years...which is relocated to the drawer. Pots and pans that are put away are returned right back to the counter top and stove top.

It's like cleaning up a toddler's room and they run right in and mess it all back up. And Mom does this whole passive aggressive crap like saying, "Nobody can help me clean this ****ing house, I gotta do everything." Well if I could trust that the room could stay clean for maybe a week, I'd help straighten up more often. But not worth it at all when the house looks like ground zero 15 minutes after she sees it. I think she's just content to live in a complete pig sty - the house isn't dirty or a health hazard, but it's very cluttered and I think she likes it that way. Of course she screams about what a hog hole the house is on a regular basis, but I just kinda tune it out. Like I said, I've tried cleaning up for her and she just messes things back up again, so I no longer bother.

Tell her that god forbids she passes,you don't want to be the one who has to clean it up by yourself. You want her to live in a healthy enviroment. Good luck.

dejolane

catsallaround · Feb 28, 2013

My mom is.

Years ago I used to "help" clean and get yelled at for "moving her stuff" or "taking it out of order"(???REALLY!!!!). I used to throw away the junk. Then I didn't throw away ANYTHING! Just organized the junk in boxes and stacked them neatly. Same thing. I no longer go over her house but to take her out or VERY short visits.

Growing up I tried to just keep it against a wall so that it was not a source of fights for parents. and to keep sister safe. So many days I remember no your friend can't come over, we need to clean up "tomorrow" or "this weekend"

She has papers to "sort", craft projects to start/finish, might use this or that. I just do not have energy to help if the help is not wanted. I have my own issues/cats/ferals to care for. My siblings are all on board knowing at some point we will need to sort all these items. We all have some issue or another right?:S

I think I am the one who ended up with the least trait of keeping things. I have cats though! But when it comes to time to clean out I have the least atttachment to things/stuff so I plan to go in with dad and hit alot of it. Will see when that time happens. We all think NEVER ME when growing up and NEVER my family. Things happen.

dejolane · Feb 28, 2013

catsallaround said:
My mom is.

Years ago I used to "help" clean and get yelled at for "moving her stuff" or "taking it out of order"(???REALLY!!!!). I used to throw away the junk. Then I didn't throw away ANYTHING! Just organized the junk in boxes and stacked them neatly. Same thing. I no longer go over her house but to take her out or VERY short visits.

Growing up I tried to just keep it against a wall so that it was not a source of fights for parents. and to keep sister safe. So many days I remember no your friend can't come over, we need to clean up "tomorrow" or "this weekend"

She has papers to "sort", craft projects to start/finish, might use this or that. I just do not have energy to help if the help is not wanted. I have my own issues/cats/ferals to care for. My siblings are all on board knowing at some point we will need to sort all these items. We all have some issue or another right?:S

I think I am the one who ended up with the least trait of keeping things. I have cats though! But when it comes to time to clean out I have the least atttachment to things/stuff so I plan to go in with dad and hit alot of it. Will see when that time happens. We all think NEVER ME when growing up and NEVER my family. Things happen.

We moved last August to a smaller apartment and we did throw alot of things away. We went from 2 big bedroom closets from 1 room to 1 closet now for my husband and myself.but we have shelves for my Stephen King books in boxes. And we have a outside storage too. We are keeping this apartment clean and clutter free.

dejolane

catsallaround · Feb 28, 2013

My "idea" of a hoarder vs non hoarder with alot of stuff is the ease in getting rid of it. If you can't throw away a few items without hassle you are on the hoarder side. And also if you have NO idea where to start looking for an item...my mom has lost more then a few items that were needed. I have to say growing up with a mom who is a hoarder helped me in some ways. I keep only very important stuff. I can read a book and get rid of it. I can see stuff at thrift store and say nah not for me. I know she suffers silently. I can not connect with her on the mental pain she feels from her stuff.

dejolane · Feb 28, 2013

We have held on to old bill receipts. I was afraid they were going to say we didn't pay the bills. They were in a pillow case for a long time then when we moved I took them to my daughters to burn them in a back yard fire. But NO MORE !

dejolane

Willowy · Feb 28, 2013

My mom is a clutterbug. But I don't think it's hoarding---she'll gladly get rid of stuff, it's just a matter of time and motivation. She'll get down to business once or twice a year and throw all the old things out, but in between stuff does pile up a bit. She grew up with a live-in maid, though, so she does NOT know how to clean. Seriously, not even a little. She didn't even know toilets needed cleaning until she went to college and saw her roommate cleaning the toilet :tongue2:. So of course I didn't learn how to clean either, but I read a bunch of Don Aslett books and I think I do OK now. She's better now than when we were kids--the house was always messy. My SIL says her mom is a full-blown hoarder, so she's worked extra hard to make sure she doesn't get that way.

dejolane · Feb 28, 2013

Willowy said:
My mom is a clutterbug. But I don't think it's hoarding---she'll gladly get rid of stuff, it's just a matter of time and motivation. She'll get down to business once or twice a year and throw all the old things out, but in between stuff does pile up a bit. She grew up with a live-in maid, though, so she does NOT know how to clean. Seriously, not even a little. She didn't even know toilets needed cleaning until she went to college and saw her roommate cleaning the toilet

. So of course I didn't learn how to clean either, but I read a bunch of Don Aslett books and I think I do OK now. She's better now than when we were kids--the house was always messy. My SIL says her mom is a full-blown hoarder, so she's worked extra hard to make sure she doesn't get that way.

As long as we aren't animal horders like I have seen some on TV.

dejolane

runekeeper · Feb 28, 2013

I just wish my mother would get rid of the crap she doesn't use. You'd think she'd be ashamed that her house is such a dump since she always harps on me about how "bad" I dress and what will people think of her when they see me? She'll have a screaming fit when I wear a bandanna to the doctor's or when I wear jeans she feels are too tight - things that she feels will reflect on her, but that really do not - but she doesn't care what her house looks like. I personally cannot stand messes and clutter for too long - yes, I will be lazy and stuff gets messy over time, but eventually I realize I am not comfortable in my little space and it's time to straighten up. Stuff I no longer want goes byebye. Clothes I have not worn in a year go out. I purged my room about once every semester in college and it really does make for a more relaxing home when stuff is slightly picked up.

It's too bad Mom can't learn to do this. There's so much crap in the basement that she never uses or wears and I don't know why she keeps it. She always complains that the basement is a mess and there's too much stuff, but she never makes any effort to get rid of that which she doesn't want. And if you try to get rid of it for her, she has a fit that it's hers, she wants/needs it, her ex from 30 years ago gave it to her, she spent $xx on it in 1960 and that was a lot of money back then, etc. Then she sticks it in the drawer or closet or basement and never looks at it again.

And of course she won't put her crap in storage because that costs money and she believes that someone will break into her storage unit. I remember in college when everyone had to move to the new dorm, I was going to put my stuff in storage with a friend and split the cost. My mother found out and screamed bloody murder that someone will single out our space from the thousands of others in this INDOOR facility and steal everything in it, even though it would be locked. So she insisted I drag everything back home for break then drag it back again (I went to school 300 miles away) and then my poor friend was stuck paying the full non-refundable storage bill.

Mom's a delightful combination - paranoid, controlling, hoarding, passive aggressive, and narcissistic.

duckdodgers · Feb 28, 2013

I watch the show if it happens to be on. I don't know why, I just find it interesting. Growing up I had a close friend whose mother was a hoarder. I didn't know what that meant at the time, but even at the age of 8 or 9 when we became friends I definitely knew that something wasn't right about their house. The strange part though was that I never went inside past the kitchen. One time her mother was going to take us to some event and I was going to spend the night at her house, but then I got sick and was unable to. After that one instance I was never invited back in at all. The girl was constantly sick with one thing or another, and my mom was convinced it was because of the environment that she lived in. On one such occasion she was out of school for about a week without telling anyone, so another friend of ours went to her house to make sure she was ok. She got in the house, made it about halfway to the back, and the mom panicked when she found her there.

The thing that really creeped me out was one occasion when I dropped my friend off at her home after school when I was going to borrow a book from her. She lived very close to the high school campus and often walked home, so I would occasionally drive her since it was on my way. Usually I'd just drop her and go, but this time I had to wait for her to go inside and get the book. I got out of the car to pet their outdoor cat, but I guess she thought I was planning on going inside with her. She looked at me with this strange look and said in a kind of sing song voice "No, you know you can't go inside, silly!" Maybe it's just my paranoia kicking in, but at that point I became 100% sure that there was something creepy, bad, and scary about that house. Probably a drastic overreaction, but I avoided her after school for the rest of our senior year because I did not want to go back there.

dejolane · Feb 28, 2013

DuckDodgers said:
I watch the show if it happens to be on. I don't know why, I just find it interesting. Growing up I had a close friend whose mother was a hoarder. I didn't know what that meant at the time, but even at the age of 8 or 9 when we became friends I definitely knew that something wasn't right about their house. The strange part though was that I never went inside past the kitchen. One time her mother was going to take us to some event and I was going to spend the night at her house, but then I got sick and was unable to. After that one instance I was never invited back in at all. The girl was constantly sick with one thing or another, and my mom was convinced it was because of the environment that she lived in. On one such occasion she was out of school for about a week without telling anyone, so another friend of ours went to her house to make sure she was ok. She got in the house, made it about halfway to the back, and the mom panicked when she found her there.

The thing that really creeped me out was one occasion when I dropped my friend off at her home after school when I was going to borrow a book from her. She lived very close to the high school campus and often walked home, so I would occasionally drive her since it was on my way. Usually I'd just drop her and go, but this time I had to wait for her to go inside and get the book. I got out of the car to pet their outdoor cat, but I guess she thought I was planning on going inside with her. She looked at me with this strange look and said in a kind of sing song voice "No, you know you can't go inside, silly!" Maybe it's just my paranoia kicking in, but at that point I became 100% sure that there was something creepy, bad, and scary about that house. Probably a drastic overreaction, but I avoided her after school for the rest of our senior year because I did not want to go back there.

I can't wait for it to come on but last night was a new show and I missed it.

dejolane

catsallaround · Feb 28, 2013

What I find interesting too is the fact she will watch the show and comment how bad it is when she is not that much better off herself-no trash/insects at her house but 2 rooms of a very small house are overtaken where there is hardly room to stand. It is a constant move this to get there move that back to get out.

margecat · Feb 28, 2013

Did anyone see the episode about a month ago with the guy who hoarded RATS? Yes, RATS. A couple thousand of them. He started out with a couple as pets (they are the pet rat variety). His wife died young and suddenly, and after that, that's when his rat hoarding began. I did feel sorry for him--but having thousands of pets just isn't good--nor for the pets. The rats would attack each other, and leave wounds. He had to sleep in his office at night, as the rats would pluck his hair out to make nests. I must admit, they were cute and looked sleek and shiny. He fed them every day, so they were healthy in general. One or two would've been very cute to have as pets--but not thousands!

Know what the funny thing was? I couldn't help but think that his was the only house on that show that didn'yt have stuff piled up! (He left the floors bare in order to feed the rats.)

The other part of the episode was a cat hoarder, with about 40 cats. You know what a twisted sense of "humor" I have. All I could think was: "I know how they could solve that rat problem at the other house!"

Cat Woman said she'd give them up; but, when they arrived to trap them, I think she secreted most, if not all, of the cats in the woods or somewhere else. Poor kitties.

At least Rat Man gave up all but 1 of his babies. They let him keep one female, Commander Whitehead. They adopted the others out, which made me feel much better. I had DVR'd the show, and went to bed before the end, and I actually kept thinking about the poor rats, thinking they surely would euthanise them, and I was so sad. I'm glad it had a happy ending.

dejolane · Feb 28, 2013

catsallaround said:
What I find interesting too is the fact she will watch the show and comment how bad it is when she is not that much better off herself-no trash/insects at her house but 2 rooms of a very small house are overtaken where there is hardly room to stand. It is a constant move this to get there move that back to get out.

Who were u talking about ?

catsallaround · Feb 28, 2013

Oops

My mom.

The A & E show Horders

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