I want my cat back and am heart broken!

I hope I chose the right section to post this. I registered to seek some advice on what to do with my situation.

We have two dogs and we wanted to rescue an older, adult cat so we adopted a cat a little over 3 weeks ago.  On Saturday we had to return her to the rescue from where we adopted her from because of my allergies which were getting worse and worse (from itchy eyes only then to sniffly nose and then to a rash on my arms) and the fact that I just in October had a kidney transplant.

You see, I have developed allergies to my cat and we came to the heart-breaking decision to bring her back to the rescue so the rescue could find a better home for her.  I didn't realize how attached I had become and how much I miss her.  After returning her, I received a return phone call from my Nephrologist saying that I could go through allergy shots so I would be able to keep her! Before that, I thought that because of the transplant, I couldn't undergo any treatments unless they were due to an emergency, so I figured out the best thing would be to return her to the rescue.  I wish he had called me earlier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I would NEVER have returned her.

As soon as we brought her back and left the adoption center, I was miserable right afterwards.  As the minutes and hours went by I came to realize that I had made a HUGE mistake and wanted desperately to get her back!!  I could NOT sleep all night and was up and e-mailed the rescue director explaing that I missed her so much and could not think of anything but her.  I also explained that I got permission from my doctor to receive allergy shots so I COULD live with her and she could be happy again.  She was very attached to me, following me everywhere I went!!!  We truly fell in love with each other.  The rescue director told me that although she loved her friend and she had a good home, that the rescue director felt we were the IDEAL home for my cat. 

Well, the problem is this.  She was adopted out to a person who works at the pet shop where the rescue has space to show their cats to the public.  She already has 8 cats in her house but her husband wanted one that would attach to him and follow him around.  My cat's former owner said that he turned her into the shelter beause she hated another cat he had and would stalk this other cat and even if the cat was elsewhere she would seek this cat out so much so that his other cat always hid.  The woman who adopted my cat only wants what's best for the cat, which I can totally understand because that's what I want too.  She had her husband come down the same day we returned her and my cat worked her magic on him and they took her home that night (at least I was glad that she was not going back into a cage).

I went to speak to the lady yesterday, which was extremely hard for me as I am very shy (but I knew I had to at least try because I wanted my cat back!!!).  I asked how my cat was doing and she said she was doing fine, eating and drinking and exploring her area.  I then explained to her what happened to me and that I wanted my cat back (maybe that was a mistake, hindsight is 20/20).  The woman seemed to be very cold towards me, totally different from when I spoke with her previously.  She told me that she would have to think about it, talk to her husband (it was going to be his cat) and then she would go through the shelter director (in other words, it seemed as though she didn't want to hear from me or see me again--which would make it very hard because we go to this store quite often because of our dogs!   She is afraid that I will return the cat at another point but I told her, promised her that I would be her forever home, no matter what.  And I was going through allergy shots to boot!.  Didn't matter, I think.  I told the shelter director what happened and she later e-mailed me that I shouldn't have spoken with the woman because I made everyone uncomfortable (but in an e-mail to me she had previously told me that I SHOULD speak with the woman.  I was only doing what she said to do.  I am so upset.  If I would have known, I would not have approached the woman who adopted her.

I didn't sign any paperwork when I returned her to the rescue nor did I want my adoption fee back (she offered to refund it, but we decided to let them keep it).  We also gave all of the cats toys, litter box, scratching posts, food, food bowls, etc to go with her to her new home.  Because I didn't sign her back over to the rescue, is there anything I can do??? 

Please tell me what I can do to get her back.  Again, I'm crying as I type this...I am so miserable and depressed.  My husband is worried about me.  He didn't realize how much I had fallen in love with this cat and how much I would hurt over this.  I feel like someone has died, that is how I feel inside!

I do hope that if she doesn't get along with the other 8 cats that I can get her back at least, but it may be a while.  I'm hoping and praying over this and hope my prayers will be answered.  Please help me!!!  Thank you.

i don't really have any advice as far as what to do, sorry. i just wanted to offer my sympathy on your situation. i hope it all works out.

thank you for your support.  I need all the support I can get.  I am still so upset about this.  Peggy

Honestly I would say the best thing for you to do would be to get yourself in better health and let this cat go.  As much as you may feel you want this cat she has probably already bonded with the other family and moving animals around constantly from home to home isn't good for them.   They need to feel, safe, secure and stable or they may develop anxiety issues.   You have to think of the animal and what's best for them.  You might research cat breeds and see if there's a breed that would cause you fewer allergy issues.   There tons of other cats out there that need home.  I had to return a dog once after 4 days because it was a hunting breed and wanted to kill my cat.  When I adopted him I wasn't told any of this and his foster mom lied about him getting along with cats.   I also lived in an apartment at the time.  I grew attached and cried my eyes out on the way to return her but it was best for the dog.  The dog later got a better home.  

I know how quickly they can wrap they little paws around your heart, but I think you may have to face the fact that this particular furbaby now belongs to someone else.  It's possible that the woman you spoke with will have a change of heart, but you need to be prepared that she won't .

As luvsmykatz mentioned, there are so many wonderful cats out there needing homes, maybe you can find another loving cat out there who is needing a home like yours that you will love just as much as this one.  And you could get all your allergy shots first so it won't be a problem from the very beginning...you'll be able to snuggle, etc. with no issues.  At the very least, you should probably go ahead and get those shots to be ready for either the return of this one, or for another adorable, needy furbaby. 

Thank you luvmykatz and mrsgreenjeans both for your answers. You. Are both right. I have come to the decision that I just want what's best for my cat and as long as she is being taken care of and is loved and above all is happy, that is all that I want for her. If it doesn't work out, I hope she comes back to me. Thank you both for the great advice.

I do know that feeling of complete and utter regret but I also think that things work out the way that they are suppose to. IF this cat was meant to be yours, forever, she will come back to you. Open you heart because I am certain there is a cat waiting for you. Good luck and bless you for going ahead with the allergy shots so you can rescue a cat.

Thank you Feralvr for your support as well. I was doing okay today until this evening when I broke down and cried thinking aut her, so I had to keep reminding myself that she is in a home and being taken care of. I know, if she is meant to be mine, she will come back to me. Thank ou for your kind words and advice.

I still miss so much!!

Was thinking of her all day today and hoping she is doing well.

So another cat or kitten hasn't caught your heart yet, huh?  I'm sure this one is  fine and is happy and healthy.   It's kitten season now....maybe you should think about giving one a home, or better yet, give a home to one of the hundreds of adult cats out there who are homeless.  They are much harder to adopt out .  And it's obvious you have love to give one of them. 

Hi mrsgreenjeens, thanks for your reply.  No, I haven't met a cat that has caught my heart yet.  I think I am still, for lack of a better word, mourning for my girl.  She is an adult cat ( 5 years old), so that is exactly what I hope will catch my heart.  I don't know why yesterday, in particular was so hard for me.   It just was.  It's been a bit over four weeks now, at least I'm not crying.  That's a start, right? 

Are you in touch with the family who adopted her at all? Maybe if you explain that you didn't mean to offend them before, but you just miss the cat, they would let you come visit or even pet sit. And you could always offer to take her if anything ever happens where they can't keep her. Just try being friendly and don't put any pressure on them to give the cat back, and see what happens. Of course they may not want to be in contact with you but you still know that the cat is with cat lovers and is being cared for well. I'm sorry you miss her, I know it's tough giving up an animal you've become attached to.

You could definitely give another cat (or 2) a great home though, if you're ready to consider it.
 

No I'm not in touch with the other person/family.  I did go to the store to apologize to her for what I said when I offended her but I chickened out when I saw her there, so I tried to avoid her in the store.  Unfortunately I go to that pet store quite frequently as we a dog and need supplies.  The adoption person knows that if anything happens and they can't keep her I am more than willing to take her back.  I really don't think she wants me to approach her because she pretty much said as much when I went to talk with her the first time (when I told her I wanted my cat back).  She was so cold to me that day that I am afraid to approach her again.  I would LOVE to visit her to see how she is doing among the other cats they have (the former owner told me she was being too aggressive to another cat of his. 

So, I think I am stuck and it stinks (pun intended)

Thanks for listening and offering advice! 

That's what we are hear for, hun! Listening and supporting. I do hope you change your mind about talking to this person and ask about the kitty. I have dealt with people like that before and they do make it hard and difficult to want to approach them again. Try to look past the coldness you felt from her and just ask. Really, this lady should be more understanding and kind knowing how much you care. She might surprise you. We can hope. OR just move on, hun. Try to find another cat as there are SOOOOOOO many that need a loving and caring momma like you.

Thank you Feralvr! Actually I just received an email from the rescue adoption person today. She told me my former cat is doing very well and has bonded with the husband, so this eases my mind and my heart a little. I just hope she is exposed to, and getting along with their other cats. I hope she isn't isolated from the other cats in the basement ir something like that. i want her to get everything she needs and deserves, and more! I am happy to have heard something. Thanks again for your support. I'm hoping this news will help me move on.

psl8675309 said:

Thank you Feralvr! Actually I just received an email from the rescue adoption person today. She told me my former cat is doing very well and has bonded with the husband, so this eases my mind and my heart a little. I just hope she is exposed to, and getting along with their other cats. I hope she isn't isolated from the other cats in the basement ir something like that. i want her to get everything she needs and deserves, and more! I am happy to have heard something. Thanks again for your support. I'm hoping this news will help me move on.

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Wonderful to hear on two counts. That the kitty is doing well and being loved by the new family. AND second, it does relieve your concern some and you can move on. I am still hoping you will find your :heart3: kitty very soon.

Hi, it's been a few months. Although I think of her, I am not upset or sad but I do have a special place in my heart for her. I've been thinking of getting another adult cat. Just considering it.

It seems that a lot of people on here are just telling you to move on and find another cat - either they're taking that attitude to help you or I'm finding it hard to believe that they've bonded with their kitties! If I gave up any of mine only to find out I could have kept him/her, I too would be heartbroken.  In fact, I had done a search tonight about being heartbroken because I've got to adopt some kitties out. Your posting came up so here I am. They sure do wrap those little paws around your heart faster than you can say meow! About 7 weeks ago, we trapped a momma kitty who had come to our house with her 3 toddlers. The next night we trapped her 3 toddlers. We have a vacant mobile home that my husband's mother used to live in so we use that as kitty housing while they recuperate from getting fixed (we have 4 inside kitties and 5 outside kitties). Two days after trapping her, she had more babies - 8 total but only 5 lived. I got to watch her give birth to 5 of them and I am absolutely amazed. Anyway, this Thursday, I take one of the toddlers to get him neutered (he has tamed exceptionally well and is a big ole love-bug so I know he's a boy). Next week I'll take the other two toddlers to get them fixed. Then the momma kitty.  The babies will be 7 weeks this Thursday and they are just adorable. Fat little balls of fur - 3 black ones and 2 grey tabbies - that run, play, jump at each other and have my heart on a string. I'll scoop them up to pet them and smell that baby kitten fur and whisper sweet nothings at them! I know I've got to adopt these babies (and the toddlers) out to good homes (I'm unemployed, my husband works but it is just getting too expensive to feed 18 cats) but my soft, soppy heart is just breaking! I spend time up at the trailer with them during the day and night (it's about 12:45 AM and I just got home). I feed them, clean the litter boxes (under close scrutiny of the babies and the one love-bug toddler), sweep (with 5 little fuzzy babies attacking the broom), talk to them constantly, change channels on the tv (the trailer has furniture, appliances, central air - really nice during the summer in South Carolina!), sit and pet them, ask them about their day (I know, probably a big red flag for mental instability!) and dread the day I start finding them homes. I actually sat in the car and cried when I left the trailer to come home tonight. My reasonable brain knows they'll be happy and I'll find them safe, loving homes but my emotional heart just wants to keep them all! You're in my thoughts big time!

I've come too late.. that cat you've loved is now well established in his home. Take pleasure knowing that he's in a wonderful home, being cared or and fed.

You had no idea of knowing about your health.. which does come first.

Have you tried contacting Last Hope in Huntington? I used to volunteer for them and they have lots of wonderful cats they'll let you play with the cats while you decide.