Husbands chores

When it comes to changing the babys diapers has your husband ever change them ? Some husbands are true to cleaning,changing the baby etc... What does your husband do to help you around the house ? Or is he one of those guys who thinks women ought to be barefoot and pregnant and do everything ? My husband is one of these men.He has never changed a diaper in his life  ( kids are grown now ) and sometimes he takes out the trash That's about it.

dejolane

I don't have a husband. . .I have no tolerance for men .

But my dad has never changed a diaper in his life. He isn't some jerk who thinks women should do everything but he has a low tolerance for icky things. He washes the dishes and vacuums. He used to do the laundry (well, he'd start it and put the wet stuff in the dryer, didn't fold/put away) but he doesn't like their new frontloader so he doesn't anymore. I think anybody who refuses to pull their own weight should have to live on their own for a while---nobody else to do it, you either do it or it doesn't get done! It seems like a lot of men turn into big helpless babies after a few years of being married.

Rick does everything and anything. He even changed a diaper or two when our son was a baby.....not to mention when our grandchildren were babies. We go for groceries together; I wouldn't even think of grocery shopping by myself. He vacuums, dusts, and he's the one who will scrub the kitchen floor sooner than I will. He does laundry......oh heck, he truly does anything that's needed.

Our son is chief cook and bottle washer at his house and he, too, will do any housework that's needed. They told their children that they were expected to help around the house ....they make their beds, they pick up after themselves (most of the time), they help with dishes, etc. Both of them.

There is no such thing as a free ride.

dejolane said:

When it comes to changing the babys diapers has your husband ever change them ? Some husbands are true to cleaning,changing the baby etc... What does your husband do to help you around the house ? Or is he one of those guys who thinks women ought to be barefoot and pregnant and do everything ? My husband is one of these men.He has never changed a diaper in his life  ( kids are grown now ) and sometimes he takes out the trash That's about it.


dejolane

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Please don't take this the wrong way, but you have complaining a lot about your husband lately. If you feel that strongly about his lack of help around the house, maybe you should say something to him about it. :dk:

We don't have kids, so my husband hasn't changed any diapers. He works long hours. I don't. I do the bulk of the work around the house because he works long hours and I don't. I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pay the bills, do the weeding, some of the outdoor trimming, etc. He takes out the trash, scoops the litter boxes, cuts the grass, and does most, not all of the tasks that involve tools around the house. Sometimes he empties the dishwasher or folds the laundry without me asking. He will help out if we are having a crowd over. If I ask him to do something around here he will, but not necessarily immediately. . When I did work, we split the chores.

We dont have kids yet but im betting my life on that blaine would do his fair share and then some if I asked him to, I think half the problem is some woman dont ask just take it upon themselves to do everything so they can then complain, I am not saying that is all im saying some are like that I know that because I have friends like that so thats my experience 

And theres nothing blaine wont turn his hand to, if I cook he does the dishes vice versa if I dust he will vacuum, we strip the bed and then remake it I cass my self as very lucky!!

AbbysMom said:

Please don't take this the wrong way, but you have complaining a lot about your husband lately. If you feel that strongly about his lack of help around the house, maybe you should say something to him about it.

We don't have kids, so my husband hasn't changed any diapers. He works long hours. I don't. I do the bulk of the work around the house because he works long hours and I don't. I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pay the bills, do the weeding, some of the outdoor trimming, etc. He takes out the trash, scoops the litter boxes, cuts the grass, and does most, not all of the tasks that involve tools around the house. Sometimes he empties the dishwasher or folds the laundry without me asking. He will help out if we are having a crowd over. If I ask him to do something around here he will, but not necessarily immediately.

. When I did work, we split the chores.

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 I actually came back here to say that the reason Rick and I both do our share is because we both work full time. If I was at home and he was working full time, I would not expect him to do one thing in the house. I'd be at home, so it would be my job. We have a large yard that needs maintenance....again, if I was at home and he worked full time, I'd do that, too. 

In fact, several years ago, I was laid-off from my job for a few months. During that time? He did nothing at home, nor did I expect him to. He was working and he was working OT quite a bit. I was on unemployment. The house was my job, the yard was my job. He came home and he relaxed....it was the least I could do. 

When he was laid-off and I worked full time, I came home to a nice house and a home-cooked meal....maybe it wasn't what I would have prepared, but he cooked and I didn't have to. I would expect nothing less. It's fair.

 For what it's worth, I really think you need to talk to your  husband about how you feel because it's obviously bothering you, Dejolane.

Yes my husband does change diapers (whether he likes to or not; because lets face it, its not pleasant for anyone) and he does help around the house.  Whether we are both "working" or not.  The way I see it; he might be working long hours outside the house; but I'm working all hours inside the house.  I don't get to leave work.  He doesn't get up with our kids at night because I am the one home with them.  But on the weekends he gets the kids up and gives them breakfast so I can sleep in a bit.  He is a morning person and I am a night person.  It works for us.  He puts the baby to bed at night while I put our toddler to bed.  It's a nice bonding time for the two of them.  All it involves is a bottle, a diaper change and putting him in his jammies and into bed.  Then he goes to bed and I stay up a bit.  He also takes the baby monitor with him on weekday mornings when he gets up; in case the baby wakes and needs settling.  I do my "hardest" sleeping at that time and I can't tell you how much that helps me have a good day!  We didn't start out this way once our kids came; it came gradually.  I had to learn to tell him what I needed him to do to help me sometimes.  

He also helps around the house.  He does the trash and litter box.  He helps do dishes too.  Not at night; but pots and things that are left till morning.  Or just whatever needs doing on the weekends.  I do the cooking and our nights are hectic; this works for us too.  Now that our littlest is sleeping better at night I'm doing a bit more kitchen work again.  DH appreciates not having to get up at night and the nights I've slept on the couch so he could get a good nights sleep in bed.  DH also does the yard work and helps me harvest my garden.  He is actually a better house keeper than I am.  He is a project person.  He's always got something going on it seems.  Oh; he does his own uniform washing for work.  He knows what needs spot treating and things so he does it himself.  I do the rest.  He will help put away things sometimes though.

He has always been a better house keeper than I am; but like I said before, other things I had to tell him what I needed from him.  Talking and being willing to listen helped us both out a lot.  I'm sure what we do around the house will shift over the years; but for now we have this working for us.  

Winchester said:

Rick does everything and anything. He even changed a diaper or two when our son was a baby.....not to mention when our grandchildren were babies. We go for groceries together; I wouldn't even think of grocery shopping by myself. He vacuums, dusts, and he's the one who will scrub the kitchen floor sooner than I will. He does laundry......oh heck, he truly does anything that's needed.

Our son is chief cook and bottle washer at his house and he, too, will do any housework that's needed. They told their children that they were expected to help around the house ....they make their beds, they pick up after themselves (most of the time), they help with dishes, etc. Both of them.

There is no such thing as a free ride.

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I want Rick ! Good to see a man helping his wife.  

My husband takes care of the yard. Inside he washes dishes, makes beds, keeps things in good working order. He wll really do anything I ask him to do.

My husband cooks outside but not inside, this works because I cook inside and not outside.He does all the work outside. I have lupus and heart problems so being outside alot is a no no for me.

If I am behind on house work he will pitch in and help me do things. I am lucky I have a house keeper so I don't have much to do but keep what she has done clean and keep the cat hair cleaned up.

For a long time, Rick always did the grilling. Then we started to become a little more inventive with our grilling and I just kind of took it over. He still does burgers and steaks and such (he makes a much better steak than I can), but I do the fish, the chicken and chicken wings, pulled pork and the briskets....I love to play with brisket on the grill. And I always do the grilled pizza. But he makes a darn good breakfast on the grill: French toast, sliced potatoes, grilled sausages, pancakes,and the like. I love his grilled breakfasts.

Winchester said:

 I actually came back here to say that the reason Rick and I both do our share is because we both work full time. If I was at home and he was working full time, I would not expect him to do one thing in the house. I'd be at home, so it would be my job. We have a large yard that needs maintenance....again, if I was at home and he worked full time, I'd do that, too. 

In fact, several years ago, I was laid-off from my job for a few months. During that time? He did nothing at home, nor did I expect him to. He was working and he was working OT quite a bit. I was on unemployment. The house was my job, the yard was my job. He came home and he relaxed....it was the least I could do. 

When he was laid-off and I worked full time, I came home to a nice house and a home-cooked meal....maybe it wasn't what I would have prepared, but he cooked and I didn't have to. I would expect nothing less. It's fair.

 For what it's worth, I really think you need to talk to your  husband about how you feel because it's obviously bothering you, Dejolane.

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I have talked to him and all he does is take out the trash when he wants too and stays on the computer. There is no bedroom time and he wants me to make a doctors appointment to see if she would give him something to help. I told him 'you ask her not me''.

dejolane said:

I have talked to him and all he does is take out the trash when he wants too and stays on the computer. There is no bedroom time and he wants me to make a doctors appointment to see if she would give him something to help. I told him 'you ask her not me''.

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For what it's worth, I have a husband like yours, and you can talk until your blue in the face and it will do no good.  Mine does his own laundry, scoops the litter (unless he can cajole me into doing it), drives when we go out, occasionally cleans up after himself in the kitchen (although it will sit there all day and he'll do it right before I come home), mows about 1/4 of the yard (I do the rest).  He has no job and I work 40+ a week.  When I didn't have a job, I did everything.  Yes, you get resentful after a while.

Misty8723 said:

For what it's worth, I have a husband like yours, and you can talk until your blue in the face and it will do no good.  Mine does his own laundry, scoops the litter (unless he can cajole me into doing it), drives when we go out, occasionally cleans up after himself in the kitchen (although it will sit there all day and he'll do it right before I come home), mows about 1/4 of the yard (I do the rest).  He has no job and I work 40+ a week.  When I didn't have a job, I did everything.  Yes, you get resentful after a while.

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All my husband wants to do is hang on this computer.

Misty8723 said:

For what it's worth, I have a husband like yours, and you can talk until your blue in the face and it will do no good.  Mine does his own laundry, scoops the litter (unless he can cajole me into doing it), drives when we go out, occasionally cleans up after himself in the kitchen (although it will sit there all day and he'll do it right before I come home), mows about 1/4 of the yard (I do the rest).  He has no job and I work 40+ a week.  When I didn't have a job, I did everything.  Yes, you get resentful after a while.

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I do everything at home. It is resentful.

I went on strike.

Many years ago, I worked a seven-day, swing-shift schedule and I was going to college classes. Rick also worked full time and our son was in HS at the time. I was on second shift and came home from work at 11:00 at night....to a mess. Dishes in the sink, pots and pans all over the stove. You get the idea. And I had just spent the entire day before getting ready for work cleaning the house from top to bottom (and I had made dinner for those guys!), so I was more than peeved. I was downright angry. And I decided, "That's it. I am not going to clean this mess up. I didn't make it and I'm not cleaning it." I ate my dinner and I went to bed.

The next day, I got up, looked at the mess.....and didn't clean it up. I went to work, came home, and the mess was even worse. Didn't clean it. Got up, did some stuff around the house and stayed away from the kitchen. Got home, ate dinner, and went to bed. This continued the entire week of second shift. I'd come home, eat dinner, and go to bed. I'd do stuff during the day, but I made sure to stay out of the kitchen.

My last night of second shift, I came home from work. And the kitchen was spotless. There was not a dish in the sink. The counters and the stove were cleaned.

Walked back to DS's bedroom and said, "Thank you." Walked over to our room and said, "Thank you." And that was that. We never dealt with that kind of a mess again.

I am not a slave. And I refuse to be one.

Husband chores!!!!??? Is there such a combo of words???!!! :scratch: :lol3: My hubby is wonderful though. He will do any chore that I ask of him if I need help. He takes care of all of the mechanicals and yard work too. But household chores, we never really talk about it. I just keep a clean house. My husband has a long day at work (and I don't) and his work can be stressful with quick deadlines so I just take care of all of the household needs. I wouldn't have it any other way since I am at home now. But, will say since our daughter moved out 18 months back, the house is much cleaner. :lol3: She drove me nuts with her messiness. I don't think what Pam did would have worked for my DD. She didn't seem to mind messes.

I want one of these men who does household chores. my husband does the trash but that's all. You all  say that your husband helps you ,how do I get my husband to do chores without yelling at him ? All suggestions are welcome .    and consider.

dejolane

Winchester said:

I went on strike.

Many years ago, I worked a seven-day, swing-shift schedule and I was going to college classes. Rick also worked full time and our son was in HS at the time. I was on second shift and came home from work at 11:00 at night....to a mess. Dishes in the sink, pots and pans all over the stove. You get the idea. And I had just spent the entire day before getting ready for work cleaning the house from top to bottom (and I had made dinner for those guys!), so I was more than peeved. I was downright angry. And I decided, "That's it. I am not going to clean this mess up. I didn't make it and I'm not cleaning it." I ate my dinner and I went to bed.

The next day, I got up, looked at the mess.....and didn't clean it up. I went to work, came home, and the mess was even worse. Didn't clean it. Got up, did some stuff around the house and stayed away from the kitchen. Got home, ate dinner, and went to bed. This continued the entire week of second shift. I'd come home, eat dinner, and go to bed. I'd do stuff during the day, but I made sure to stay out of the kitchen.

My last night of second shift, I came home from work. And the kitchen was spotless. There was not a dish in the sink. The counters and the stove were cleaned.

Walked back to DS's bedroom and said, "Thank you." Walked over to our room and said, "Thank you." And that was that. We never dealt with that kind of a mess again.

I am not a slave. And I refuse to be one.

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I tried that once.  Two weeks later the mess was still there and worse because he added to it every day.  I was in tears and just about to cave but went to bed instead.  The next day he said "are you trying to teach me a lesson?" and cleaned it.  But - sadly - the lesson didn't stick. 

dejolane said:

All my husband wants to do is hang on this computer.

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Same with mine.  All day and half the night.