Need help with feral... damage inside the house

Hi Everyone,

A bad thing happened last night and we had a bad reaction. I am beside myself with grief and guilt and hope someone can give me direction. Sorry in advance for the long post.

I’ve written before, but to catch you up, we’ve been feeding a feral for the past 8 months. Based on her behavior, we actually think she was a stray, but she is extremely skittish. My husband has never had a pet and I’ve only had dogs. So we weren’t considering a cat until she came into the yard. And now we’ve grown very, very attached to her and have tried to trap her 3-4 times. We have an appointment to take her to the vet this Thursday, which makes last night even more heartbreaking. She has become part of our family, we even change plans if she hasn’t eaten before we are scheduled to leave the house. She’s the first thing we look for in the morning and the first thing I tend to when I come home after work. Our dinner doesn’t get started until she’s eaten.

She never comes in the rain or snow, but one day early December she did. I opened up the door to let her eat inside and long story short, she’s been eating all of her meals inside (twice a day) – in the kitchen just inside the door. For a long time, she would eat and run, which was fine with me because at least I knew she was eating and eating safely. Then she started to stay a little longer. A few times, she walked into the kitchen or family room, but me watching her scared her and then when I tried not to watch, she would scare herself and run by the door again. When I wrote to you all earlier, I was concerned that by letting her eat inside and then leave after eating, it would create bad habits when she came inside.

Lately, she’s been staying longer. She eats and then stays in the house for 20 minutes to an hour sometimes sleeping. She never tried to go anywhere in the house again. Until last night. We had snow over the weekend and hadn’t seen her since Friday. We went to bed last night and my husband woke up to get something to drink around 1:00 am. We are constantly looking for her out the window and last night was no different. She’s usually like clockwork – shows between 6-7 am and 5-7 pm. He was surprised to see her and knew she would be hungry. So of course he fed her. I was in the bedroom not quite sleeping, but not quite awake. I should mention that I am the one that feeds her 99% of the time, but he sometimes does as well.

All was well; I heard him talking to her, but he was mostly reading the paper waiting for her to finish. I hear him say… ‘where are you going?... All of a sudden I hear a huge crash. He’s screaming. I come out of the bedroom and she running up my dining room curtains across the rod and onto a credenza. Before I came in the room, she had broken everything on top of my buffet and had climbed the walls causing our pictures to fall down. And then everything on the credenza comes flying down.

She then runs past me down the hall and into our office. When we got there, she was sitting in a chair. We were pretty shook up and frantic ourselves. I tried to talk softly and coax her with food, but she didn’t move. Then suddenly she jumps up on top of the chair, climbs up my office curtains; the curtains and rod fall down; she jumps on top of a bookcase and then to another and another. We didn’t know what to do. I realize in hindsight that we should have closed the door, let her calm down and walk herself out of the room. But, we were extremely scared at this point and could only think that we had this wild animal in the house and we needed to get her out.

At that point, I’m embarrassed to say, we were scared and just wanted her out of the house. We chased her until she finally went back into the kitchen and out the door. Please, please don’t tell me what a horrible person I am, I already know it. This is one of these experiences that I will never forget. I spend months and months trying to gain her trust and lost it in 15 minutes. I feel horrible for her, and can’t believe I chased her out. How scared and confused she must be.

I’m sure that she’s alright physically, but how much damage did this do otherwise and is there any way to fix it? I’m worried sick about her and would appreciate any advice to make her better.

I know with my feral when he is in a 'different' environment, the front yard instead of the back where we always see and feed him, etc,. he runs and acts like he doesn't know us at all. I know she was panicked, that's why all the damage. If it ever happens again, sit quietly, no noise, and DO NOT move, and most likely she would look around and leave. She panicked when your husband stood up and she probably thought he had blocked her escape route. Also it was a 'different' time for her and that probably added to her panic, she might have been a little more afraid when she came in because it wasn't her normal time. It's not his fault, I did the same thing a few years ago, that's why I know what to do now. Try to not beat yourself up over it, she's lucky to have you to care for her (and she knows it!) You might not see her for a couple of days, or she might show up tonight like nothing happened. After I broke up a fight involving my feral, I really didn't expect to see him for a few days, I had yelled and rushed at him, but there he was! She will be a little scared for a while, but since she has been coming for 8 months I would bet she'll be back. You might want to leave some food out and see if she is around. PLEASE keep us posted as to when she comes back.

AW hun, you and your husband are wonderfully kind people. I am sorry about all of the damage!! Isn't it incredible how fast they go causing much destruction in their panic. These things happen all the time with feral cats and you did nothing wrong. Please do not beat yourself up over this. I know you are upset, very upset that you might have set her back a bit. I promise you she will be back. The best thing now is when you see her come back keep things normal and on schedule with feeding her outside only, even IF she wants to come in, outside for now. What I would do in this type of situation and I have been there, believe me, is to trap try again to trap her outside. Then she can be safely transported to the vet. Have a small carrier for the vet to place her in after her surgery. Pick her up in that and take her home to a small room with all of her necessities and hiding places. But, first you must be patient with her once again and wait for her return. I know how you are feeling and most of us here have been through incidences such as yours. The littlest thing can set them off like that into a tizzy.

I know she will be back as she has come to rely on you both for food and for shelter. I have scared feral cats before like that on accident when socializing and it is best to leave them be in their enclosed room but you had no other choice other than to corral her back outside. The right thing IMO. They will forgive you and I believe they know you love them and are only trying to help them.


When I trap a cat I always do the same thing because it works for me. I will cover the trap or even put the trap inside a large empty dry dog food bag to make it more tempting to go inside. Place the trap somewhere near bushes, the edge of a deck not out in the open of the yard. I tie up the door for a day or two on the trap and only feed inside the trap. Doing it that way gives the cat a chance to feel safe about going in and out of the trap. Then on vet day, set the trap door and off you go. Cover the trap with a large dark towel when transporting and line your car with plastic garbage bags and newspaper for transport to the vet. Bring that small carrier to leave with the vet that day.

I am certain she will return in a few days if not sooner but will be leary at first. Don't worry, once she trusts you again, and it will come MUCH faster this time around, all will be on track once again. You did the right thing by getting her out of the house since she was not in a room that you could just close the door.

This might offer you some useful information. http://www.thecatsite.com/t/16045/h...ng-and-low-cost-or-free-spay-neuter-resources and this one http://www.catnipchronicles.com/may2012/laurie.htm

Good news... she was here for dinner. I can't believe it, she was waiting when I came home from work. I'm absolutely thrilled, but my heart breaks because now she's afraid of me. She did not want to come inside when I went outside to put the food down she ran. I even tried to give her chicken, but she would only eat it when I was no longer in her site. And then, she would take a bite and watch to make sure I wasn't around. I'm beside myself to see her look at me with fear (or actually not look at me). It's hard to believe she would ever trust me again.

Thank you both for your reply. Very comforting to be able to get advice. I'm having a difficult time in letting it go. It was so awful. I know at the time, I couldn't have done anything different and I know how terrible I feel, but I can't imagine how confused she must be. Hard to imagine how she would ever feel comfortable in my house again.

No problem in the past with getting her to eat out of the cage. But, every time we tried to get her, she would be a no show when we had appointments. Then I needed to wait until I could take off work again. We do have a small room for her, we'll get it ready when we know she's at the doctor. We have an appointment at the clinic for this Thursday. Assuming we could trap her, should we or would it be too traumatic for her?

Thank you again. Really appreciate it.

Hummys, don't worry it'll be okay eventually - it'll just take time.   Your story reminds me of two stressful events that happened with Patches (my indoor feral) within the first few months I had her inside and out of her safe room (and in hindsight I did not keep her in that safe room for long enough).   First one, she got the sissal loop handle of a gift bag stuck around her neck.  She tore around at top speed trying to get away, ripping away parts of the bag as she went, but the loop stayed around her neck.  She finally cowered in terror in a corner afraid to move.   She and I didn't know each other that well back then but in an act of faith I reached down with some scissors and cut the loop.  Amazingly she let me do this and then ran like the wind.   Second one - she got on top of a six foot tall bookshelf packed full of books and launched herself off of it - the entire shelf fell to the floor making a horrible racket and popping off the back of it.   But I hammered the shelves back together, and she calmed down again eventually.   She'll trust you again in time especially since she's already back for food - it'll work out!

It will take time, but she is back again and if things happen as usually before incident she will come around again.

My experience is that if it is not bolted down, cats will take it down, no matter how big the thing is.

Of course with more than one mad hour is bit more eventful but scared single cat can do really lot of damage, also when panicked I think they don't feel the pain, so they can easily get hurt because of that as they do run as fast as cars drive at low speed zones.

Once cat door did broke when one of mine got spooked of thing that did not exist, he did run so fast against the cat door that plastic cracked to two pieces and then I had cat hole instead of cat door.

Also they have managed to trip over their water many times during the night so that I have water damage in my house currently, which is rather costly repair, haven't found water bowl that could be bolted to floor yet...

They are so fast that they tend to bump into things when at speed and as they are able to jump so far and high they can easily cause havoc at any height in a room, which means that if there is anything that is able to fell and get broke, at some point they probably manage to cause that, something worth to prepare to.

Of course one can get lucky and it is not always so, but if one prepares for the worst there is less chance for surprises.

Most of the time they are just fine, but during mad hour, some mad things do happen, like using human as a wall to change direction at full speed leaping etc. Often one is chasing another during that which is why there is so much speed, probably not such issues with single cat, I guess at least.

Thanks for you PM! You can PM me anytime, it is no bother.

I know you are so upset over what happened but really, you are not alone. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have all the time in the world to try again!! That is what I tell myself and then I don't start getting into a panic and stressed out. Believe me, she will feel your tension. I think what I would do is try to regain some trust with her by just feeding her and stepping back or go into the house if you have to. Day after day, she will begin to allow you closer. What I have done in this situation is to put the trap outside, door closed, and with whatever cover you are going to use when you do decide to trap her. Leave it sit out there. Feed her near that trap outside so she just gets used to seeing the trap. Do this for as many days as it takes for her to feel comfortable near the trap. Then, once she is eating regularly and feeling calm. Tie up the trap door leaving the exact same cover on the trap as you had when it was just sitting out there. Put the food just inside the trap right at the opening. Allow her time to get comfortable eating from there. Then begin to move the food back into the trap each day until it is all the way to the back. Still leaving the trap door tied up. Once she is going in and out of that trap to eat unsuspecting of anything sneaky, then set the trap and make your vet appt. for that day.She obviously knows what a trap is. It is always very easy to trap a cat for the first time. They are pretty oblivious to it the first time around. Just make it comfy and pleasing/safe to go into. Although that does not seem to be the problem moreso than her coming regularly for food. Give her time, keep putting food out the exact same time each day and step away. You might have to watch from the window or at a safe distance. Her trust will come back quickly second time around. I promise you that.

You say that she does go into the cage/trap? Then you are well on your way to success in trapping her, I think. You could just try to put that trap outside baited with food tomorrow for vet day!! I hope you get lucky. It is stressful on us, the not knowing when we will be able to trap them. But somehow, in the end and hopefully sooner than later, we DO get them.

Hi Everyone,

Wanted to give an update and ask for more advice...

My little babe has gotten better with us. We're not anywhere near where we were before her scare 2 weeks ago, but at least she's comes back to eat everyday. At first she would eat and run, but now she sticks around for a bit. A little longer each day. Still scared, but we're hopeful and treading softly to regain her trust.

She typically has a tremendous appetite, eating a small can of wet food and a portion of dry along with it, twice a day (once if she doesn't show in the morning). We give her anywhere from 2-5 treats after each meal. For the past 3 days, she hasn't been eating, or eating very little. I sense that she hungry, but scared. She's always been skittish eating and looks around often. Only for the past few days, she seems really spooked by something out toward the back of the yard. She usually sits under a tree and stares up at the kitchen window waiting for us to wave her up. Once we would wave to her, she would be at the door in seconds. The past few days, she sees me wave, but turns back around (her back to us) and keeps looking toward the back of the yard just staring out. Eventually she comes to eat, but sometimes I need to open the door (and let her hear the squeak of the door sliding) before she comes up to the door. She'll start to eat and after a few bites, runs to the edge of the patio and sits looking out again toward the back of the yard. A few times, I could coax her back with treats, but then she has a bite or two of food and either goes back to the edge of the patio staring or leaves the backyard in the opposite direction. We've walked the yard looking under bushes and trees, but we don't see anything obvious to us that would scare her. Last night she wouldn’t even come back for treats. She loves Trader Joe’s Tuna for Cats… very smelly, but even that wasn’t enough to get her to eat more. I don’t know what to do. As always, any advice would be appreciated.

Glad you're little babe has gotten better.

I think she sees/saw an animal, perhaps a cat, and that is what she is reacting to.  Can you go towards where she is looking at and see what maybe she is seeing; look for tracks or bent foilage (high or low, will give you an idea of what she might be reacting to).

I *might* set out a trap in that area to catch what she is seeing.  (What do the other posters think?)  But be prepared for perhaps trapping her or something more scary, like a raccoon or fox (don't know the area you live in).

And a change of behavior can be a sign she isn't feeling well.  *Any* chance she is pregnant?

Gives cold back, or something like that was some saying.

My view is that turning back towards you is a statement, I know mine have done that if I have done something they don't like, like brushing, so they walk bit further away, sit down and make sure they have their back towards me and then just stare there, letting me know that they are 'ignoring' me, however bit of teasing and petting and soon all is forgiven, of course it will take some time until cat comes over it if petting is not possible, but it is good thing, they don't turn back to just about anyone, they need to have some trust to turn back towards someone, also if they would not have any affection, they would not do such as what's the point when walking away would be easier.

Or then indeed they see some other cat or something else, it is not very easy to know what is going on inside their heads, but at times one can see gears turning there, or maybe a timer

Also if I don't notice one when I'm attempting to solve issues in code (I do lot of programming these days), I do get cold back treatment, ignoring one that is bumping his head against leg a lot is bit difficult of course, but sometimes they just pick wrong time for petting requests, so that is why I get cold back treatment. Usually it is far more easier to just give up and pet when they ask for it as it requires lot more petting to make up after cold back treatment.

So there you have one alternative possibility to consider, there is of course no absolute answer, one just have to estimate which one from all options is most likely for situation at hand.