VERY TOUGH DECISION SURGERY HELP PLEASE

Hi

we are so scared and looking for some reassurance that this is the best decision for our kitty Minca, she is 12 years old and has mammary cancer, talked with our vet many times, and decided to go with the surgery, removing all her breast and connecting tissue, she also has a lump in her lymph nodes, we made a surgery date for this coming wednsday, every minute I think, is the the right decision, before the surgery they do xrays and if it spread to her lungs, bad news..

I did catch this early, close to 1cm which is good, just the thought of her being so scared, and how she will feel afterwords. the wife and I talk about this everyday,  this is not about us, it is minca's well being, we feel that we need to try something, then we feel that maybe its her time. and not to put her through this. very sad..

would hate for the outcome after the surgery to make her worse, or not doing it at all would be worse.. just to tough to handle..

we want to give her a chance to enjoy a few more years.. on the other hand, will she make it, will she get back to normal, will she suffer

dang if we do, dang if we don't. I think.. as of now we are going a head with it.. at least at this moment  we love her, she is my baby.

we just want to do the best for her of course.. money is tight, if I have to take out a loan.. so be it..  thanks for any insight  for those of you that are going through a similiar situation    we are torn.. thanks for listening

I-been-thru-this-3-times.Once-with-my-own-cat,twice-with-a-good-friends-cats.

My-cat-was-12-yrs-old-too.I-talked-at-length-with-my-vet-about-it.She-said-there-was-no-guarantee-she-would-make-it-thru-the-surgery,and-even-if-she-did,there-was-no-guarantee,that-even-if-they-got-it-all,that-it-would-not-come-back.

I-made-my-decision,based-on-what-was-best-for-her,her-quality-of-life,and-how-she-would-handle,going-thru-all-that.

She-was-a-very-timid-and-scaredy-girl,outside-the-home.Just-going-to-the-vets,for-normal-stuff,sent-her-in-a-panic.I-just-could-not-put-her-thru-all-that-involved-that-kind-of-surgery.That-would-have-beyond,upset-her,not-a-good-way,to-start-and-go-thru-a-surgery-and-recovery.

That,plus-not-knowing-if-it-might-come-back,and-going-thru-all-that-again.If-she-could-have-voiced-her-opinion,I-know-what-she-would-have-chosen.........

I-held-her......and-afterwards,I-asked-my-vet,did-I-just-kill-her?She-said-no,you-had-the-courage-to-do-what-was-best-for-her,I-would-have-made-the-same-decision,if-she-was-my-cat.

That-was-prob-7-yrs-ago,and-it-still-brings-tears-to-my-eyes,talking-about-it.Her-name-was-Brandy,she-was-a-LH-torti,a-rescue,had-her-since-she-was-a-little-kitten.

I-never-regretted-my-decision,and-I-never-played-the-what-if-game.What-ever-decision-you-make-you-have-to-be-sure-in-your-heart,that-is-so-important.

The-other-2-cats,both-owned-by-the-same-person.Championship-show-cats,and-they-had-the-money,to-pursue-all-options.Took-them-to-one-of-the-leading-specialists-in-the-country,down-in-the-NYC-area.One-was-too-late-there-was-just-nothing-they-could-do-for-her.The-other-one-went-thru-the-surgery.

I-remember-the-horrible-weeks,which-turned-into-months,of-surgery,endless-trips-to-the-vet,treatments,more-trips-to-the-vet,trying-this-trying-that,him-getting-better,then-going-downhill-again,a-vicious-cycle.In-the-end,it-was-the-same-result.She-said-she-was-just-not-going-to-put-him-thru-all-that-anymore.He-was-only-5-yrs-old.

She-said-if-she-ever-had-to-do-it-again,she-would-just-put-him-down,and-not-put-him-thru-all-that.

Ours-was-not-mammory-cancer.I-don't-know-anything-about-mammory-cancer.

Read-all-you-can-about-mammory-cancer,others-on-here-may-have-stories-about-that,and-then-decide,knowing-your-cat,and-what-she-can-handle.

I-just-had-to-put-one-of-mine-down,a-few-months-ago,he-was-only-5-yrs-old,had-him-since-he-was-8-weeks-old,championship-show-cat,and-my-bestest-bud,my-baby-boy.His-was-not-cancer,but-it-was-a-serious-medical-issue.

There-was-pretty-much,nothing-more-they-could-do.The-ER-vet-said-we-can-try-this-and-try-that,weeks-of-staying-at-the-vet,in-and-out,treatments,etc.

I-said-no.

I-knew-he-would-not-be-happy-with-that.I-couldn't-put-him-thru-all-that.

He-loved-to-show,he-loved-his-mommy,I-could-see-it-in-his-eyes.I-could-also-see-it-in-his-eyes,that-awful-day,the-pain-and-the-terror.He-asked-me-to-help-him.

The-ER-vet-talked-to-my-vet,I-talked-to-my-vet.I-already-knew,in-my-heart,what-the-right-decision-was..........

I-helped-him.....I-released-him-from-the-pain.....I-did-it-for-him.

I-have-seen-him,crystal-clear-as-day,5-times-and-petted-him-once.He-was-telling-me,thank-you,you-made-the-right-decision.I-am-now-free-of-pain.He-watches-over-me,and-he-is-still-here,the-kittens-see-him,the-adults-see-him,its-just-another-dimension.

Best-of-luck-whatever-you-and-your-wife-decide-to-do,you-know-your-cat,you-will-know-in-your-heart.If-you-need-the-name-of-the-cancer-specialst,PM-me,he-is-in-the-NYC-area,I-can-get-his-name,from-my-friend.

((((((((((((BIG-HUGS)))))))))

Hi there,

I can only offer my own feelings but based on my old dog (before I owned cats). Shelby had a mouth growth and the vet suggested operating to remove it. We did that, because you want to give them a chance. It grew back, and so another op believing we were given her the best chance and she then just went downhill, the cancer had got to her afterall. I look back and regret putting her through it but was a bit naive. 

You know your cat better than anyone. Do you think she can cope with surgery? Would you put her through another if this one does not work (personally now I wouldn't myself) what percent of chance does the vet think she has to beat it? because seriously, if there is not much chance then I would personally say do not put her through it as much as it hurts. My little furboy is ill right now and we don't know what is wrong entirely yet, but we have both agreed that we will not put him through any stress no matter how much it hurts us.

I hope whatever decision you make that it brings you and your baby peace xxx

Ashleigh,please-don't-ever,for-one-minue,think-you-were-naive.You-weren't.You-tried-the-very-best-you-could,to-do-what-is-right,and-you-believed-in-your-heart,that-you-were.You-have-to-look-at-that.You-cannot-get-into-the-what-if-and-second-guessing,it-will-drive-you-nuts.

Each-animal-is-different,each-situation-is-different.

I-grew-up-on-a-show-horse-farm.Our-parents-taught-us,that-animals-are-to-be-well-fed,and-well-treated.Any-stray-cat-or-dog,that-came-along,they-were-fed-and-given-shelter-in-the-barn.

We-were-taught-about-quality-of-life.We-were-taught,animals-do-not-look-at-death,the-same-as-humans.We-were-taught,to-have-the-courage,to-do-what-is-best-for-the-animal,not-us.

Each-one-is-different.

Sometimes-you-pursue-treatment,sometimes-you-don't,depends-on-the-situation.

My-mother-taught-us,your-horses-are-here-for-you,they-love-you.When-they-are-in-pain-and-suffering,we-do-not-keep-them-alive,just-for-us.We-send-them-to-the-big-pasture-in-the-sky,where-they-will-be-waiting-for-you-someday.

I-stood-and-fought-for-one-horse.This-was-back-in-the-60's,when-all-you-had-was-a-country-doctor,who-also-treated-your-cats-and-dogs,as-well-as-the-horses.

One-horse-came-in-from-the-pasture-with-his-chest-ripped-open.It-was-real-bad.The-vet-said-he-should-be-put-down.

Something-told-me-no,my-heart,my-gut.I-was-just-a-kid,but-I-insisted.

My-father-looked-at-the-vet,looked-at-me.Said,I-always-taught-you-kids,to-listen-to-your-gut-too.

Told-the-vet,sew-him-up.The-vet-said-keep-it-clean,put-this-stuff-on-it,but-don't-be-surprised,if-he-doesn't-make-it.

He-not-only-made-it,there-was-not-even-a-scar.

All-the-animals-I-put-down,I-knew-it-was-time,my-gut-told-me,I-was-doing-the-right-thing.You-have-to-listen-to-your-gut-too.

(((((((((((((BIG-HUGS))))))))))

I can only offer my experience with my cat Cindy.  We don't know her age, but she's at least 10 or so.  Otherwise healthy but the vet felt a mass in her abdomine.  We did everything we could to get a diagnosis short of surgery, spent a lot of time and money, and in the end had to have surgery anyway.  She came through the surgery really good, and was wanting to jump up on things not long after we brought her home.  He quality of life improved drastically after the surgery.  I have been kicking myself for not doing the surgery sooner, but at the time we didn't want to "put her through it"  if we could get a diagnosis another way, and it turns out she coped just fine and might have been better to do the surgery right away before it spread (if it hadn't already).  It's so hard to make decisions for our pets.  One thing we had going for us was a highly recommended surgeon who we had complete faith in. 

   As you wrestle with making this important decision.

thank you everyone, appreciate the time to reply, we still have 2 days to make a final decision, our vet is great ver\y thorough, I spent 2 hours there, and he called us at home, we are all hoping for the right decision, If the xray does not turn out well, then no surgery, they cannot detect small traces of the cancer in her lungs,, the question always is we should of, did we make the right decision, what ever the outcome is, I hope we do the right thing for her.. that is the bottom line... thank you again.

It's so very hard to know what the right decision is when you are making it for a person or animal who can't make it for themselves.  You can only do what feels right at the time, and then try to be at peace with the decision.  Please let us know how your baby - and you - are doing. 

thanks Misty and everyone,  very true, go with your gut, We are good with this, the surgery is tomorrow, and hopefully I did catch this early enough , that the surgery can be done and successful.

talking with close friends, and my new friends here, we feel we are making the right decision, I am more nervous about putting her through this, than the actual surgery itself.

I took the next 3 days off of work, so I can be with her for a few days, Time away for me too.

I will keep everyone updated on her condition,probably all worried for nothing.. thank you for listening.   MIN-kitty MON-wife, RICK-and me     

Good luck with the surgery. Best wishes on a speedy recovery. Sending good vibes your way.

thanks vball     we are off to the vet, very nervous, did not sleep, can't wait till its over  and she is back to normal, we hope.. sad day, yet happy we are doing the best we can for her.. she just seams so normal right now, napping.. and hungry, it is a 30 minute drive, and she stresses all the way.. maybe the hardest part is getting her there,  I have confidence that everything will turn out as planned.

 That everything is going well with the surgery.  I know exactly what you mean about putting her through this, and it's so hard when you know they don't understand why you aren't feeding them like usual and look at you with those sad cat eyes.

Please check in when you get a chance and let us know how everything went.  You and your kitty are in my thoughts.

Jut checking in to see how it went? 

ok all   here is how it went

Vet called everything was good news, he took the fatty tissue out in lymph noad, lymph noad still there, had to cut a little deeper than planned, don't be surprised by how long and big the incision is , stiches on the inside and 2 tubes. the tumor itself was mostly cystic, good news again. she was just waking up, have to take her back in 5 days to remove the tubes.. and the test for the tumor will be back in 10 days.. he said good job catching this very early, and said 90 %, most owners don't even notice until they are very sick.. good job Rick so I am very happy.. 

I am picking her up in a couple hours.. she stayed over night of course. running a fever this morning, he gave her more pain meds, told me also to keep her off carpets, and furniture, well that will not be easy.. my house is all carpet and furniture.. I can just clean up after her.. going to be very tough seeing her like this.  Is there anything else i can watch out for or do for her.. it has been less than 24 hours.

the vet said I can get her anytime, when she sees me she may just be happy as can be to be home.. over the last year, the wife had cancer surgery, i had lung surgery  now our kitty had surgery, we all want to be home. and recover.. Minca has no clue what we we did.. she just knows she wants to come home...

and we thank everyone for support and your concern,  we just want her to recover now..  thanks again Rick

I'm glad the surgery went well. Good luck for all of your recoveries.

I'm so glad to hear the surgery went well 

If she was running a fever, just watch that it doesn't come back or get worse.  Make sure she is eating and drinking and using the litter box okay, not throwing up, etc.  And just love her as much as you can    You might be surprised how quickly she bounces back from the surgery - cat's are amazing.  

And some   for you and your wife's recovery from your surgeries as well.

Yay that all went well.  Hopefully she is already home now