feeling overwhelmed another feral has appeared

Hi all, to bring you guys up to date on my situation a neighbor fed unfixed feral cats and I got involved trying to TNR some and help with the kittens.   She moved and supposedly dumped the responsibility of ONE feral cat on me said all the others had disappeared Yeah I knew that was too good to be true.   So the night I trapped the one I saw another cat who was identical to him, so now there were two.   Now I have seen another one who I suspect is another brother.    I've stopped leaving food out overnight and just leave it for a two hour window around sunset.   I don't want to starve anyone who is already dependent on it, but I can't attract more!    I am going to have to relocate all of these cats in a couple months....one I could have hope to do but three?  What if more come?   I know soon it will be kitten season and the people I call for help will be even less likely to have room.   I'm getting really stressed out! 

Edited to add:   Complicating this is that I can't just start trapping and TNR'ing right now because I will need to retrap soon enough to relocate them.   I already did that with the first one Hercules and worry I may not be able to get him a second time.   So I'm praying none of these cats are female!

Oh sweetie! I think your current plan is best - leave the food out for a few hours. You're going to be moving, so it really is best to limit food access. :nod:

The number one rule of rescue is ... know your limits. :grphug2: We do the best we can with our circumstances, and we just have to fight feeling guilty for all we can't do. :heart2: We can't rescue them all. We try not to stress, we try not to worry, and we try not to feel guilty. Because we care, we're not always successful - but the situation is what it is!

I don't remember - is there a low cost spay/neuter clinic you're able to use? If the sole issue here is the moving, and not the financial strain of TNR, I see no reason to not TNR them. I understand you'll have to leave them when you go. But they'll find their way in life. They're resourceful creatures, and there are other caring souls. But if the TNR itself isn't the problem, at least they won't be able to reproduce.

Gary and I have thought about moving on several occasions. There are at least five ferals we'd have to bring with us. But that means we'd be leaving six behind. The reality is that our life circumstances aren't a constant, and we do the best we can. :heart2: :grphug2:

Thanks so much Laurie, this whole situation just tears me up so much.   I guess one thing that is the hardest for me is the idea of leaving them behind if they are counting on me for food.   Are we really sure they'll find their way in life?    I worry they'll just starve - especially Hercules who has been used to having a human feed him most every day of his life.   He's almost 16 pounds, his caloric needs are huge.  My mother fed a mother and kittens (and sadly did not tnr) some cats at her old house and moved and I kept in touch with a neighbor there.   For weeks after she moved the neighbor said the cats circled the houses crying with hunger - he didn't want to feed them and called animal control so they didn't make it.   This is why I'm so concerned now....    To top things off I have a health condition which makes me feel like I have the flu every day - it's been pretty bad for the last few months.  I'm working with a specialist on it and there is hope over the next months it will get better but progress is slow - whether I can moveor even work in the future is still pretty debatable.   Thanks for your support!

I was going to ask why you need to relocate them, but I guess you are moving?

Relocating is usually not recommended because they will go back home (or try to) as soon as they are released. And having 3+ feral cats in your house wouldn't be a good idea I think..
I known it's sad, but they did survive without you there before, and they will do it now. You can start tapering off their food before you leave so they are not shocked into having to catch all their own food.


*HUGS*

:grphug2: You'll just have to see how things go. :heart2: I know you want to bring Hercules with you if you can... and if that day comes, and you're able to trap him, then great! But in the end, it'll depend on him going into the trap again. We just have to try not to worry about what we can't control.... :heart2:

I'm so sorry about your health. My husband is medically challenged, and it can sure complicate things.

It is true LDG I still am thinking of trying to bring Hercules in at some point - right now I just don't think I'm up for the drama though!   I have two indoor cats one who is quite possessive of me - not really sure how it would go even with careful intros.    Sorry to hear your husband has medical issues going on too it is really frustrating the way life has the nerve to just go on and still throw problems at you while the body is not cooperating.   back to you!

Thanks Minka for your reply too , I like the idea of weaning them if necessary.    Yep I do need to move in a couple months because my rent was increased shockingly last fall but I was too sick to move out and I hope to be well enough to get out this time.   My complex got bought by an evil corporation who decided to make as much money as possible.   I'm one of the last of the old tenants around they've driven most everyone out.

So question for LDG and Minka and anyone else who has thoughts too - why is relocation such a no go?   I've read about how cats can be cat kept in crates for a couple weeks to imprint on the new area.....does this not work?   Granted it'll be tough to find someone willing to do that for their barn cat but I hope to.

the hesitation to relocate is due to the fact that there are so very few people that would put forth the effort to have it go smoothly. but, if you can find a place/ person to relocate them, and you believe that if they stayed where they are their fate would be doomed, it is worth the risks.

i know the stress that you are feeling (trust me, i really do), but try to remember what Laurie said. truer words were never spoken.

Hi Whaler, thanks for your support too.   I know Laurie is right that there is only so much I can do and I've got to fight the guilts, but it's hard especially when I've seen the costs of irresponsibility up close much of my life.   I just did the evening feeding and the new cat was there waiting for the food, even closer than Hercules who was hiding farther back.  This cat actually looks identical to his mother who I got spayed over a year ago and if it is her this is the best case scenario.  It was too dark to see if the ear was tipped.  Worst case is it is her daughter (and Herc's sister) who didn't get spayed who looks identical and disappeared....she could be here looking for mates.

If you wanted to relocate them it is not as hard as you might think to find someone willing to keep them confined for a few weeks. I let my two ferals go to a barn, they were caged for the few weeks and now love their new location. I have helped a friend do this with some ferals recently too and they are all sticking around their new homes too. I just explained the process and why, and they were more than happy to do it. There is actually a rescue here that has a feral cat program where they tnr cats and relocate them to safe places like a barn. They educate the adopters about how to confine them and how to care for them. Maybe there is a similar program near you that could help you.

Edited to remove all that ranting - I feel ridiculous.   I was/am freaking out because now I've seen yet another cat, likely one of Hercules' siblings.   Why are they all appearing again now? 

CatNamedPanda, your post sounds full of wonderful and rational ideas....I will get back to you shortly cause I need to go try to calm down.

Deep breath, hun! :heart2:

HUGS back to you LDG!   So I just fed Hercules and he was out there looking hungry and nobody else was in sight.  I swear if I'd seen a fifth cat you guys would have been reading me posting from a psych ward.    I am amazed at those of you who manage large colonies.   Part of my distress is just that I didn't want to feed outside cats at all to start with and my apartment complex doesn't allow it.   I worry that the more cats the more risk someone complains the more potential impacts to my living situation's security.   One little cat not too obvious....four very obvious.   Part of why I didn't originally send Hercules to the feral rescue place is I was considering taking him in and wanted to see if he got friendlier if I fed him longer - he hasn't really so far after four months.   I didn't want him to become an anonymous cat in a big barn full of ferals...felt like sending him to an orphanage.   But....maybe it wouldn't be so bad he (and the others) would have food, shelter, and company not such a bad deal.   I could advertize for them being a barn cats but I worry over my ability to determine whether they new adopters will be safe and responsible.   Like Whaler wrote the key is would they be willing to do all the steps necessary to ensure successful relocation?

What do you mean by they don't allow it? They don't allow outdoor cats or they don't allow feeding ferals?
I'm not sure how they could regulate that... If no one sees you, how would they catch you? What if you fed them off of the property, heck even just on the sidewalk? (which is public property..)

Hi Minka, I mean that my complex disallows having outdoor pets and also feeding ferals.   Given the placement of the buildings and the best feeding area I can find it still cannot be kept completely private so having a gaggle of cats appearing is a concern so far fortunately they aren't grouping together during the day.  

Minka said:

What do you mean by they don't allow it? They don't allow outdoor cats or they don't allow feeding ferals?
I'm not sure how they could regulate that... If no one sees you, how would they catch you? What if you fed them off of the property, heck even just on the sidewalk? (which is public property..)

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Minka, this does happen. And, people will see others feeding cats and report them especially cat hating residents. Many apartment complexes do NOT allow residents to feed stray/feral cats!!! It can be listed in the lease agreement/policy and you could get evicted. When this happens, people can get in contact with a local TNR organization explaining the situation at the complex. They, in turn, IF they are a good organization, will contact the management of the complex and get approval for TNR of the cats. This happens all the time and usually the management opts to go along just to get the cats off the complex. Also, most do not allow you to let your "pet" cat roam on the property.

Bastfriend said:

  I swear if I'd seen a fifth cat you guys would have been reading me posting from a psych ward.  

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:lol3: Don't mean to laugh at your situation, BUT I know how you feel. AND the worst is when you think you are seeing only one, say, long-haired brown tabby, then one day you see TWO matching cats!!! Relocating these feral cats off of complexes such as where you live must be done IF no one wants to take them in and management gets wind of your feeding. It is possible to successfully move feral cats but the receiving caretaker must take the necessary steps of confinement.

Hercules probably won't get much closer outside but if you were to try to bring him inside and work with him, slowly, then he might surprise you!!! Good luck, hun. Just want to say, I know how you feel. :nod:

Bastfriend said:

Edited to remove all that ranting - I feel ridiculous.   I was/am freaking out because now I've seen yet another cat, likely one of Hercules' siblings.   Why are they all appearing again now? 

CatNamedPanda, your post sounds full of wonderful and rational ideas....I will get back to you shortly cause I need to go try to calm down.

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Bastfriend, do not feel ridiculous. your strong emotions show what kind of person you really are - caring. the world would be a far better place if it had more people like you.

Thanks so much Whaler, I am feeling a lot better now.   I've decided to pursue a barn cat relocation plan for all of them except possibly Hercules depending on if socialization makes sense or not.    It still won't be simple but I think it's the best option long-term.   There's lots of farm country not too far from where I am, so finding actual barns with mice that people want cats for isn't too crazy.     I know there's risks the ferals might not stay put, but there are risks if they remain here with no feeder as well.   

I wish there were more people who cared about the ferals like you and others on this board.   That's part of why the stress is so great, knowing that you may be the only chance a cat has.  

Thanks also Feralvr, it's okay to laugh - once I start making jokes about going crazy I'm doing better     You  totally get it about the apartment complexes - it really is a problem.   My complex is corporately managed so even though I can appeal directly to the manager that person still has no authority and is ruled by the bureaucracy that holds his job.   That leads to a lot less flexibility for situation like this one.

Bastfriend said:

Thanks so much Whaler, I am feeling a lot better now.   I've decided to pursue a barn cat relocation plan for all of them except possibly Hercules depending on if socialization makes sense or not.    It still won't be simple but I think it's the best option long-term.   There's lots of farm country not too far from where I am, so finding actual barns with mice that people want cats for isn't too crazy.     I know there's risks the ferals might not stay put, but there are risks if they remain here with no feeder as well.

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you are so welcome. i think with something like this (tnr/feral caretaking) having a little emotional/mental support (and a place to vent) is very important since there are so many ups and downs - it can, in my opinion, become nearly overwhelming emotionally. friday night i slept so poorly, all i could do was think about how my ferals were doing. it was so nice to be able to come here to see and talk to others that were in the same boat as me.

I wish there were more people who cared about the ferals like you and others on this board.   That's part of why the stress is so great, knowing that you may be the only chance a cat has. 

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that is so very nice of you to say, thank you.

i do think that the number of people that are doing this type of "work" is much greater than most might believe - no thanks to all of the bird zealots spreading misinformation.

Whaler said:

i do think that the number of people that are doing this type of "work" is much greater than most might believe - no thanks to all of the bird zealots spreading misinformation.

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I hope you are right because the cats need more people in their corner!    And yep I was so amazed and encouraged to find others helping the animals here, people doing more than I even feel I can do.   It really is inspiring.   Positive for your ferals and a good night's sleep!