I'm so sorry you had to put down the other little calico girl.
Good luck with the 13-month old!
Re: troublesome neighbors... I have no thoughts other than to not tell them about the FeLV problem, but simply continue to try to convince them to let you onto their property with traps for TNR. Let them know you intend to release the cats onto your property instead of theirs after having been sterilized.
There is a lot of material about TNR vs TNK (trap and kill) on www.straypetadvocacy.org
- links in my signature line). Killing the cats doens't work, but sterilizing them does. If they hate cats, I expect that if they can come to understand that sterilizing the cats will end the colony via attrition over time, whereas killing the cats only works if you can kill ALL the cats (which never happens).
Here's a rather persuasive argument against TNK (this is on page 15 & 16 of the powerpoint presentation "The Need for Low-cost Spay/Neuter Programs" - powerpoint version, located in the spay/neuter section of StrayPetAdvocacy (url=http://www.straypetadvocacy.org/html/spay-neuter.html]Spay/Neuter
Section of SPA[/url])If euthanization worked as a method of animal population control, the U.S. would not have approx. 60 million feral cats.The Example of Marion Island â€“ Eradication Does Not Work
Marion Island, southeast of South Africa is a small inhospitable island (12 miles x 8 miles). In 1949, a group of scientists left the island, leaving behind five unsterilized cats. By 1975 there were 2,500 cats on the island preying on ground-nesting seabirds. Deliberate infection with feline enteritis killed about 65% of the cats. The remaining 35% developed immunity and continued to breed. Jack Russell terrier dogs were used to flush out the remaining cats, and between 1986 and 1989 further cats were exterminated by hunting. At that time, it was determined that further poisoning was necessary. Poison that also killed the birds was used to eliminate the balance of the cat population. (14)It took 16 years to eradicate 2,500 isolated cats from a small island with â€œrapidâ€ methods of eradication that could not be used in populated areas. How can euthanization be successful as a method of animal control anywhere that new animals can move in and recolonize cleared areas?(14)â€œFeral Cats â€“ Extermination is not the Answer,â€ Â© 1994, 1995, 2000, 2002, Sarah Hartwell. http://www.messybeast.com/eradicat.htm
There are other articles, etc. on the site that you may find helpful.