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Just Me Needing To Vent

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
Some of you know I am moving soon. Well on Friday we will start the moving.

I am alittle upset at my sister in law as we are moving into her old house. The place is really owned by my mother in law. We are buying it from my mother in law (a rent to own kinda thing).

My husband has been helping his sister and her husband move for the past 3 days. Now he works midnight so he is always tired but, he has been helping anyway (nice of him).

There was some question on whether the refrigerator would stay there. Now my sister in law gets a stove and refrigerator with her new home she bought. My mother in law told her daughter that they were there when she moved in and that there had to be one there when they moved out. So we thought there would be a refrigerator and stove there. Now today when my husband was helping them move we found out from them that they want to take both. Why they have one. Well it turns out that he wants to take the stove to work. And the refrigerator is going to my husbands brother. What makes me so is that why couldn't they have told us this sooner? And the real kicker is that my mother in law told me the refrigerator was staying and I was told today she has known for months that it would not be there.

Now if I was told this before I could have saved some money to get one. Am I wrong for being ?

Sorry I just needed to let off some steam.
post #2 of 13
Sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. Moving can be very stressful, especially when you're having problems like these, and with your family to boot. I don't have any words of wisdom, just wanted to let you know that I understand your frustration.

Good luck!
post #3 of 13
Dear Simon's Mommy,

I reiterate my feelings on in-laws - some of them can be a real pain in the ass! It was very inconsiderate of her not to at least warn you that you would need new appliances. But seeing as it is your husband's mother, I'd let him speak to her. A mother can never stay mad at her child, but a daughter-in-law is a totally different story.

Good luck and hang in there.

post #4 of 13
Thread Starter 
I am so glad I have you guys on my side. I am also glad that you support the way I feel.

My mother in law is not mad at me. If she is mad at anyone it is her daughter and her daughter in law. Thank goodness she is not mad at me.

See my husband will not ask anyone anything he wants to keep Peace! He would not even ask his sister whe she planed to be done he did not want her to think he was pushing her out. I can understand that but we needed to know when to have our utilities turned on. I am also on a time schedual as I am due for our baby September 30. I do not want to rush her out of the home but some idea would be nice.
post #5 of 13
I'd be a little more than "frustrated". Especially since the stove is going "to work" and the :censor::censor::censor::censor: is being given to someone else! I admire your husband wanting to keep the peace, but somebody has to stand up for you two!
post #6 of 13
Simon's Mommy,
you have the right to be more than anrgy and if I were in your shoes I'd surely fight with my husbadn about it although I know he does not deserve it. I admire the fact that you haven't done this. Hang on sister, once you settle down it will be OK but as Deb said somebody has to stand up for you.
post #7 of 13
Thread Starter 
At least you guys understand. My husband won't say anything he just says it's ok don't worry. See he will let people walk all over him just to avoid a fight. He is helping his sister move as we speak. I love him but he has to learn to stand up for himself. He does with me!
post #8 of 13
I'd still be

A new stove and :censor::censor::censor::censor: wouldn't exactly be in my budget. We'd be eating out a lot, that's for sure.
post #9 of 13
I do not envy you at all. I was watching 48 hours last week & they had 3 couples on that had gotten married 7 years ago, and one of them was no longer married.

they said that the #1 cause of divorce is financial problems & #2 is in-laws. the ex-wife of the couple that had gotten divorced talked about how she never felt like she fit in with her in-laws.

they were such a tight knit group, & her MIL had 3 daughters already & wasn't looking for a 4th. she didn't feel like her husband ever looked out for her, or took her side. his family was always right.

I am NOT in anyway suggesting that your situation is anything like this or that your marriage is in trouble. I just am commenting that I know that in law thing is a serious & sticky situation. best of luck getting that sorted out.
post #10 of 13
Thread Starter 
Deb 25 you are right it is not in our budget. I am still .

Airprincess it is funny you asy this because I feel the same way sometimes. My husband and I are still just starting out we just got married in April. My husband does not want me to work so he has taken on a second job he starts Monday. I will be having our second baby in September. And as for tight knit family well you got that right. Don't get me wrong they fight but no one ever wants to make waves but it happens. Myself being an only child this is hard for me. And you are also right about his family being always right. Thank you for wishing me luck I know I need it.
post #11 of 13
My ex was part of a tight-knit Italian clan. He wouldn't stand up to his father if his life depended on it. When our daughter was christened, he (father-in-law) wouldn't even come, because it wasn't in the Catholic church, and he felt "uncomfortable". Needless to say that he won't even speak to me since the divorce. It was, of course, all my fault.

I'm not saying my family are any bunch of prize winners. My mother is a certified wacko, but this guy takes the cake.
post #12 of 13
Thread Starter 
I feel like I am

I just hope they are done by Friday so we can get in there and that there is not another fight about that. If there is I will be

His sister had vacation the week before this and did not start moving until this week. She had everything packed. And you know if it was her that was moving in there and pregnant and we were not out she would have a fit.

Thank You so much for understanding as no one here does!
post #13 of 13
I'm mad just reading about this! Any time you're subject to the whimsy of somebody else's relatives (and in reality the term "in law" doesn't mean they're your relatives) you're going to come out on the short end of the stick. It's bad enough when you try to get respect from your own relatives!


Spouses are used as excuses for all manner of problems, so I'm inclined to think you need to step up to the plate here and confront your mother-in-law about this. Maybe she's used to your husband's deference, but unless you want to establish and/or reinforce a relationship wherein your husband's relatives walk all over you, it's time for you to take charge of this situation and take some affirmative action.

Or not.

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