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A Man's View of Relationships - Page 2

post #31 of 89
Oh Chuck,

Don't apologize for stating things as they exist. I just find it sad that they do.

I can't disagree with anything that you or Kittyfoot said. I completely agree that women keep the whole game going via clothing, make-up, and other outlandish attempts to garner male attention. I personally can't think of anything sadder than a web site where you send in a picture of yourself so guys can "rate your rack". Talk about needing attention in the worst possible way.

I'm just personally not somebody who goes in for all of that (dare I say?) crap. So consequently, I am not being noticed left and right. It's ok because the person I have to face in the mirror every morning is not compromising any beliefs.

To the other topic, Kittyfoot, I gotta say that I think the whole "male revue" thing is NO WAY as popular as the topless bar scene. I'll admit, I've been to one once. I thought it was a waste of my time.
post #32 of 89
Originally posted by Deb25

To the other topic, Kittyfoot, I gotta say that I think the whole "male revue" thing is NO WAY as popular as the topless bar scene. I'll admit, I've been to one once. I thought it was a waste of my time.
I completely agree. You will find a 'traveling' male review, or a strip club that features men one night a week, but you will find at least one or two full blown strip clubs in any respectable size town. I know because I have been the maid of honor 4 times and had the esteemed honor of the bachelorette party, and believe me it's not easy to find a strip club to take the girls too. you are limited to certain nights of the week, if you can even find a place that has guys on staff. As a man throwing a bachelor party, you have your choice of any number of clubs & can go any night of the week.

yes, we have playgirl, but men have dozens of other choices. i would imagine the ratio of male to female sex publications is probably something like 10 to 1 easily.

I have been to my share of 'shops' and seen the selection. it's pitiful for us women. I'm not complaining because I don't care. I don't read any of them & have no interest in them, so it doesn't matter to me. but I do know there is a lot more catering to men then women.
post #33 of 89
And how! On my way to work in a mile-long stretch near my school there are at least 15 nudie joints. Tampa is a veritable mecca of these places.

There is no full-time male revue club that I know of. I could be wrong, not being a participant.

The whole point is that those of us women who aren't wired into arousing the male libido every second with the way we dress, etc. pretty much get shoved to the back burner. If you're not a player, you might as well forget it.
post #34 of 89
Thread Starter 
OK..(peeking out from my deeeep foxhole) now I basically agree with you.

However,we truckers often wind up sitting in the seedier parts of cities. So I got to know a few nightclub/stripbar owners and workers. One fine night a bartender friend slipped me in on "ladies night". These were housewives and "respectable"ladies out on a tear. Lordy....I thought us men were bad. Those male strippers should demand hazard pay!!! That ain't stuffing in those briefs...it's protection.

Also,I got to know a few strippers and noticed the guys are much more jumpy at shadows and sudden movements. :tounge2:

Back to the pit..... :foot:
post #35 of 89

Off the market, huh??? Damn! Got any friends, brothers, cousins, uncles, nephews, fathers, grandfathers that are available??? Boy do I sound desperate. But what the hell, you don't know unless you ask.

She's a very lucky lady. If it doesn't work out, call me!

post #36 of 89
Hmm, where do I start? LOL

I agree with AP and Deb about the ratio of sex publicity men v. women being 10 to 1.

And Deb has a point. Just like all men aren't after "just a body". All women don't care to flaunt what the good Lord gave em. But....

For those women who do wear the tight pants and wear bikini's and low cut tops.. etc... what do you expect.

You guys have openly admitted that you look at the "body" first. So in order to ge tyou to consider getting to know us.. we've got to physically impress you. Once we do that.. we're officially in the game.

Now... you have a woman with a leather mini skirt and a low cut shirt on.. and beside her.. you have a women with a long sleeve baggy dress on. Which woman is gonna get your attention and keep it?

So.. keep in mind there is a reason behind all those women wearing those clothes. They have to get your attention some how. It's all one big competition.

I was gonna say thats my two sents.. but its more like two dollars.

post #37 of 89
I must say that when I was in Tampa one weekend for a work seminar I visited the Galaxy 2000 and *ahem*, one of the girls said the sapaceship lounge upstairs was the place to be and for a "little extra" you could get the royal treatment! I was blown away (BY HER REMARK, OK? I DIDN'T GO UPSTAIRS.LOL).

I used to live in Orlando in some very nice apt.'s on Orange Blossom Trail, right in that same strip club/sex shop run just before the Florida mall. I lived in the middle of all the "nicer" establishments, as apposed to going towards I-4 where they got seedier.

Ya know, it really IS a sad thing the way things are! Kittyfoot couldn't be more right too, because ALL of my lady friends (married or not) STILL dress to the nines in form fitting, sexy, short skirts. It is about "the game" and we all have played it. Personally, I'm no good at it (which might be a evidence to why I've been single for 4 yrs now) and hate doing it. But, with Kathy, though I did fall in love with her, I did indeed seduce her. The first time I saw her though there was something akin to a flash point explosion chemistry when we stared into each others eyes I have to admitt, I saw her from behind first and thought "awsome"! And then she turned around and looked at me and that was it! I was a goner and I KNEW W/O A DOUBT she was THE one. Too bad it didn't work out. Ironicly, she got married to a guy who got her pregnant that she didn't love and who beat her. She still calls me once a week to talk and she is now living back at her Mom & Dads w/ her son and he's moved in w/ the girl he was sleeping around with. Funny, how the grass always seems greener. She still wishes she was with me. And I'd love to be with her as well, but I don't want to be a (step)-father and she is SO die hard southern baptist that I couldn't deal with it. It was her families constant badgering (when we lived in Orlando) of us "living in sin" that helped in our split.

With Helen, I had cast her in a short film I was doing and she was young (18),tall (6'), skinny, long hair down to her butt and drop dead gorgeous! Well, she came onto me! What was a 30 yr old filmmaker to do? It's not like I could say NO! Say no? hahahahaha! I did indeed get stupid and when I opened my mouth to talk it was "goobleblobhabslobdrool". It was all about the lust (I'm still not sure it was worth the pain in the butt things for how much fun she was behind closed doors). But then we had a bad break up, didn't speak for 2 months and she met Allen (who she eventually married) and then I actually got to KNOW her. And we became best friends. And now, she says shes in love with two men, her hubby and me. And that we'd (finally) make the perfect couple! Oh, the irony is just wonderful ain't it?

Well, in these 2 relationships I learned a LOT about women and about myself. Just like with my cats, I'm a total push over (I think it stems from being too sweet). But, I also realize that the reason BOTH relationships ended wasn't so much because of me (though I was far from faultless), but bewcause of their youth and life inexperience.

My best guy friend, Mike, told me that when you treat a woman well, they will ALWAYS come back one way or the other later. And he was so right! They both came back! Though I couldn't be w/ Kathy again and Helen is married, they did indeed come back.


What a great post this is. It really is insightful and interesting!
post #38 of 89
MeowMan... hehe the first thing I have to say is that most of the time a break-up consists of both parties and its "usually" not just one persons fault. I also think you are right to some extent about that "coming back" thing. I've seen quite a bit of women go back to their ex after a while.. wanting to reconcile (sp?).

I, however, have *never* called or even crawled back to a man. Maybe because up until now.. I never had a guy that treated me right? I'd put up with them for 6 months to a year before I'd finally burn out or they'd cheat on me... and I'd throw in the towel. The last one was horrible.

We were living together... he left for a week straight to stay with his mom because she was in town for a week. Well.. his mom was a crack addict. Nice huh? So anyway.. he comes back after the week. Only for me to find out he'd been on drugs *sigh* and that he cheated on me. It took me two days before I could gather the strength to break it off. This entire thing was horrible... and I ended up moving out of state to escape it and everything I went through in the weeks after. I was avoiding him at all costs. The last I heard.. he's in prison for 5 years. I'm soooo glad I'm away from that.

The man I'm with now can only be described as a dream come true. Craig treats me like a queen, spoils me rotten, and never fails to tell me how he feels. He is very honest, straight forward, and he knows the meaning of comprimise and sharing. This is one man I think I'd crawl back to in a heartbeat if we ever broke up (GOD FORBID).

So, as of yet.. I haven't crawled back to anyone MeowMan... but thats not to say that I won't. I'm still young

post #39 of 89
Originally posted by MeowMan

First off, you had me rolling on the floor with that one! If you know that joint on Dale Mabry, you must know the Mons Venus across the street. I've never personally been inside the door, but I know plenty of guys who have been. It's about the same deal. There's always more to be had. Funny thing is though, many of these girls are lesbians.

I won't say that I've exactly crawled back, more like never quite crawled away. My ex, Kris, is probably my best friend. We were together for 6 years. I do not think things will ever work out, but there's a nagging feeling of something still being there.

At any rate, I agree that this is about the best thread in awhile. (I was literally dashing home from class tonight to see the latest post). If only men and women were this open and honest out there in the real world, perhaps things wouldn't be as screwed up as they are, and more people would end up happy in this world.

Kittyfoot, you can crawl out of the foxhole and take off the gear. There aren't any weapons drawn.
post #40 of 89
Thread Starter 
Thanks Deb..(peers suspiciously about) but I think I'll wait a bit...

Anyways..I agreee that it's a pity we can't be more honest and open with each other. I grew up a skinny kid who got the same treatment from the girls. So it goes both ways. It took me this long to find a dear,sweet lady....more on that in a different thread later.But you'll forgive me if I take a slightly doubtful view of any "women don't judge" statements. We men are just more obvious about it. Both sexes have a lot to learn.

And it hurts just as bad to be rejected offhand for us guys. Most of you ladies would breeze by me on the street without a glance. But now you see what a great guy I truly am...modest too.

Incidentally...many strippers and hookers are gay. NO..I did not equate gays and sex-trades!!!! Don't even go there.

So lets get the opposing views in here...this armor is getting heavy. :tounge2:
post #41 of 89
First I'd like to say that I'm really glad you're away from that guy Cass! What a horrible thing to have to go through and it's so sad too, but what a great outcome! I'm really happy for you that you've found such a great guy! Thank God!!!

I can't think of anyone that I'd crawl back to that's for sure, although, I can't say that there weren't a couple that I wish I would've handled myself differently in the relationship. I was young and thought everything should go my way! Ms. Snot for sure. I think about my past behaviour and want to crawl up in a hole and hide!!

Nowadays, since I've met Philip, I can see that I've changed for the better (Thank God). We're definitely in love, but we'll see how things go when we get to spend more time with each other. We're always laughing but then again, we've never seen each other other than visits! He lives in Arizona while I reside in Fla.

It was really bad before I met him. I just sat at home after the gym and work. I did get asked out, but I never accepted. I rarely trusted men only because I felt like some kind of piece of meat. No one really seemed to like me for me. :confused3::indiffere: I guess it's because I train hard, my body is in good condition and I modeled for years. I had always ran into problems. Some of them perhaps in my own mind...the pressure to look good and then having to deal with the ramifications of it. I know it sounds conceited, trust me, I am far from it. I loathe that!

Honestly, I have found in my job is where I get the most respect - being a finish carpenter. I also do personal training on the side. So...I do find that guys look at me in a different light when I'm at my carpentry job. Only now and then do I get "gee, you look so great in that tool belt....:homer: Doh!!! :laughing:

However, due to the heat in Fla and being a bodybuilder, my wardrobe is skimpy at the gym and that's where I'm at after 4:00 pm... oh well, one day things will change I hope and I do pray that Philip's :angel2: the guy, he's a bodybuilder too. He won the USA in 95 so he understands how it is with all the things that we go through and how we look at ourselves, it's not like what most people think, but then again, there are those few that give the sport a bad name. He's sooooooo nice and not only that...what a fox!!! :laughing:

Here's a small pic...it's not the best, but I have others that are kind big and would take up too much space on the thread

Thanks for listening :angel2:

Love &,
post #42 of 89
Thread Starter 
Catarina...a finish carpenter?? I'm jealous!!! That takes real talent and skill. I dabble in painting and drawing and am considered pretty good at it,but as a carpenter I make a good truck driver. I equate a finish carpenter or cabinet-maker with any artizan you can think of..both take an artist's skill to do well. Be very proud of yourself.

Don't think that I was putting down either you or Phil..I was just zinging the ladies over their WOO-WOO response to his pics. I do understand the effort and persistance that you both needed to reach and maintain the level you compete at. It is unfortunate that some have resorted to the steroid route to get that image. I did attempt to body build when I was younger but was fortunate enough to have a coach that told me with my build I would have to spend a hellish amount of gym time or go with steroids. End of that story.

I really hope you and Phil have the happiest of lives together. Sounds like true love to me. I just pity the doc in the delivery of your first-born. When he slaps it's bottom,the kid will probly be strong enough to body-slam him in retaliation. :tounge2:

Now one more time...where's all those controversy seekers?? :tounge2:
post #43 of 89
post something controversial & we'll come crawling out of the woodwork!!!

No more commen sense stuff.....
post #44 of 89
Thread Starter 
RATS...now I gotta think of something new,thought this would work.. :laughing2 Any suggestions????

Oh,wait!!!! I know... !!! Now off to start a new thread,but keep this one going...
post #45 of 89
Aha! Kittyfoot, are those the whites of your eyes I see in here?
post #46 of 89
Thread Starter 
Deb...not a bit of it...that's just the sawdust igniting when I think.

Try the new thread if you like...I'll be watchin here too. Lord,do I have guts or what?? :tounge2:
post #47 of 89
Not white flags, the whites of your eyes!

Big difference, militarily speaking.
post #48 of 89
Glad to see some debating going on. I love arguments, but only on an intellectual level. Petty stuff about who squeezed the toothpaste from the middle drives me nuts.

The whole looks thing is hard to understand sometimes, although I have to admit that I was initially attracted to my fiance because he's a good-looking guy. I soon learned that smart, funny, and caring were part of the package, so I did pick a good one:tounge2:

I've had personal experience with the looks thing, not because I'm a beauty queen, but because I lost weight. I lost about 20-25 pounds a few years ago and have kept most of it off:flash:

I did it to be healthier, but I noticed that Dan's friends all started to flirt with me and make comments to him about how he needs to pay lots of attention to me now, so someone else doesn't steal me.
It was flattering, but frustrating because I am the same person I was 20 pounds ago.

I had a chance to watch a single male in action last night, when I went with some friends to a local nightclub to hear Jeffrey Gaines, who is sure to become a major force in the music industry. A friend of ours is single, in his 30's, and last night he was very intoxicated. So he was talking to all the "hot" women.

I have never seen him talk to anyone he did not consider good-looking, but he never has much luck in the long-term. So maybe it's time for the men out there to be a little more open to less than "perfect" women, unless you're looking for some serious high maintenance.
post #49 of 89
you must have gone to the show that WLAN put on. I know they were bringing Jeffrey Gaines to town.

I'm good friend with Holly Love who does mornings there, and I also know Toby Knapp. Vince D'bella who used to work there is also a friend of mine. He now does nights in Wilmington, Delaware.

you aren't that far from where I live, probably an hour and a half.
post #50 of 89
Way to throw that thread off course, AP!
post #51 of 89
I'm always good for taking a left turn,

but Deb25, you know you aren't innocent at that either!

now go make some coffee for us!
post #52 of 89
Now this is why I'm not meeting anybody. I'm always in the kitchen making the @%$# coffee!
post #53 of 89
Thread Starter 
C'mon now...no buddy,buddy stuff here...this is fer fightin words..

Coffe clatches in the hallway!!!!!:tounge2: :tounge2:
post #54 of 89
okay, okay,

can anyone else make the coffee?

I would but I have to run out & get more nads. we're all out.
post #55 of 89
AP, That's the show I saw. I went a little after the start, and my big disappointment was that he only played for an hour or so. Went to a friend's house after, just me and the guys. It's always educational to hang with guys in groups. Ever notice how most guys won't be the only male in a group of women? Why is that?
post #56 of 89

Thanks, I'm lookin at this computer and think that anyone that can fix 'em ....well, that's a great big art too...this one's a piece of work I love to paint and draw, but my skills aren't near as sharp as yours I'm sure.

Oh and I wasn't thinking you had mentioned something bad about Phil's pics...not at all! If ya did I didn't see it. Bodybuilding's an art! I'm glad you understand..it's very difficult to get a lot of muslce and make it look aesthitic to boot. I guess it's good genetics more than anything though. Philip is a genetic freak! :laughing2: He's so humble though, he wouldn't admit it :angel2:

Wow, never thought about having a kid....after that wake up call......don't think I'll be having any any time soon!!!! :;
Pssssssssst.......Chuck, this one's for you
Love &,
post #57 of 89
Add a lil white on his nose and he will look like Socs! How cute!
post #58 of 89
You know reading these posts are amazing. I am in the process of a break up with my boyfriend....who do not get me wrong is a lovely man - but his ideals are all wrong.......he thinks that love and companionship can last all the time - in most instances I am sure that they can......but we have been together for over 1 year and he is living with me and he has nto worked in that whole time - he keeps making promises to get a job - while I am working my t*ts off to support him. Well the weekend I decided enough was enough and I have had my fill of him so I asked him to move out - I told him that at 27 years old (that is how old I am) that I should not be having money worries and that he should be looking after if not me then atleast himself as he is a 28 year old health male.

You know what though - after all I have done for him - you know what he said to me - well if I am moving into my sisters house things will have to change - I will have to get a job because anyone else will not be happy me living off them for nothing - I was like "HOLD UP THERE BUDDY" I was so totally and utterly taken aback by that comment that I though why bother speaking to him so I went to my parents house and had a few glasses (and a bottle of Wine) and had a bit of a bitch and moan.......

Right so I get home.......and guess what.....I am made to feel as if I am doing something wrong as if I am not trying to help him......I was like Errrrrmmmm HELLO!!!!!!!!

Well in conculsion after I am made to feel guilty.....he asked to borrow my car to take his stuff to his sisters house and i told him at lunchtime I have some meetings to go to so please make sure you are back by 1pm.....well needless to say I had to take taxis to my meetings and when he finally did pick up his cell phone I was the one who was shouted at - what is all that about.

i have tried to help him and I feel I do not deserve this treatment.....sheesh I have had it with men!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh by the way sorry about my ranting and raving it is all of my chest now.....but am I in the wrong here????
post #59 of 89
Amanda, I hate to say it, but it sounds like you were/are being used and he is trying to point the finger so that he doesn't look like such an ass. Any problems in a relationship is always a 2-way street, but based on your post, the fault does seem to be a lot in his court.

You need a man whose going to respect you and communicate honestly and if he can't, your with the wrong person.

It really frustrates me to see so many women be with men that treat them as they do and I have the hardest damn time in the world finding someone I can click with.
post #60 of 89
Meowman.....you are such a sweetheart....thanks

How come no Meowoman????? you are really such a darling...you seem to me to be the extreamly caring kind of man who is sensitive and all the things that most men would hate to be either told or admit..... oh and I get all these assumptions from your posts....you have a lovely way with words
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