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How to stop feeling guilty when leaving my cat at home alone

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
I feel SO BAD whenever I go to work...My little one knows...and he comes and sits up on me so sweetly when I am about to leave. I hate it. Yet, my apartment is just tiny...and I can't get another cat...I just can't. I have only had this one for two months and he has cost me so much money and anxiety...even though I adore him.

He likes playing, but only if I play with him.

Any ideas about how to ease his boredom? I feel such guilt and sadness leaving him.
post #2 of 23
I know how you feel. When I first got Zoey I HATED leaving her when I had to go to work. She would hear me pick up my keys then run to the front door and meow, or plop herself right in my path as to say "dont leave mommy!" It broke my heart. I am still considering getting another cat but just not sure yet.

Does he have a lot of toys to play with while you're gone? Ones that dont need a human?

Get a big cardbord box and put ping pong balls in it. That's entertainment alone lol

I also just got this toy for Zoey that she can play with by herself.. I swear she could play with this thing for hours

post #3 of 23
Having 2 cats really isn't harder than having one...it's just if you go over 2 that it becomes a handful.

But if you can't do that, you might want to try this link - it has a lot of good hints for indoor-kitty entertainment:

My cats will sit and watch the "cat sitter" video for hours...got it at a pet store.
post #4 of 23
I was in the same situation as you.

The first thing I did was buy Max toys that he can play by himself with. One is a round plastic toy that he bats the ball and the ball goes round and round (purchased at Wal Mart). Another is a carpeted piece of wood that had a flat piece on top with toy mice handing down. The top is also carpeted and turns like a lazy susan and he will chase after the mice. (purchased at a local pet store)

The second thing I did was to play a CD on repeat of soft classical music. This CD is actually designed for cats who have separation anxiety, which Max had when I first adopted him.

The third thing I did was to install a cat hammock on my bathroom window. Why the bathroom, you ask? The bathroom window looks out over the back yard, which has a lot of animal activity - like birds and squirls and such. He really enjoys sitting in his hammock.

Remember cats most favorite thing to do is sleep. I hope that these ideas help with your fur baby.
post #5 of 23
Thread Starter 
Is Zoey a Russian Blue? My cat looks like a Russian Blue, but may have something else in him.

That game looks great...I will try and make for him. I don't know if he likes going into small places though (unlike most cats). He seems to sleep when I am gone...like he has no interest in anything....just stays on my bed....I get SO SAD!!!!!!

Thanks for the tip! I will make the game this weekend.....

I know that I saved him, as he was a stray....and he has a good home...but people who don't have cats don't understand how emotional they are, and how much they like your company....

I live in an apartment in New York...if I loved back in Australia where I am from..I would have a cat flap and a garden for him...
post #6 of 23
Thread Starter 
Thanks again for all your help.

I will buy all the games....make them. BUT I know he doesn't play with them when I am gone. He just sleeps.

I do leave music on for him...or the TV down low......

I feel like I may love him too much
post #7 of 23
There is no way to love your animal too much. When I first got Max I think I drove his vet nuts. I would call if he sneezed, etc. I've learned to relax a little bit more now. He is always there to greet me when I get home and I make sure to spend time every night playing and cuddling him so he will know how much I love him.
post #8 of 23
Zoey is a mix. I think she has a touch of Russian Blue in her though. Can you post a pic of your baby?

I know its heartbreaking, because I felt the same way. But I think Zoey sleeps most of the day when I'm not home. I also go home on my lunch break to play and give her scritches. Cats sleep something crazy like 18 hours a day.. so its normal for your baby to just sleep while you're gone too.
post #9 of 23
Thread Starter 
Hi Nora.

Well, people (my friends) think I am crazy....they think I am too in love with my cat..because in a way it feels like a love affair. I am so happy to be with him..to have him curled up beside me...he brings me so much joy and peace....And I would prefer his company to a lot of humans! But my job keeps me away from him....and it is hard as I dont have a ton of money and he has so many health problems! So I have focused my energy on him a lot...

But I am sick of people telling me I am crazy for spending so much money and time on him. People tell me I must love him more than myself as I am spending money on him and not me! But I can't help it! He is so adorable...my little baby.
post #10 of 23
Thread Starter 
I am not sure how to post a picture...I have an email picture of him....but he looks to skinny anyway..and he hated the flash so got scared...I will take another one of him when he is healthier...(he was a stary for 8 or so months before I got him).
post #11 of 23
Dont listen to those people! They are obviously not cat lovers.

You can email me any pics of him and I can post them for you


or you can check out this thread on how to post pictures

post #12 of 23
I know how you feel. My friends think I'm nuts too. In the winter I put out a humidifier and have it going all the while I'm home. Is it for me? No, it's for Max - the air is so dry in the winter that I keep giving him shocks. I have toys all over the living room and as I mentioned before, a hammock in my bathroom. Like I said, my friends think Max is the most spoiled cat around. After coming to TCS, I now know that I'm not the only one who loves their fur babies to bits.

I'm so glad you rescued him and he is one lucky little fur baby.
post #13 of 23
Thread Starter 
I had the AC on all summer for my little boy! Cost a fortune! And surely will get a humdifier for the same reason....

Their love is so intense....so hard not love so intensely back!
post #14 of 23
Oh he's so pretty!!!
post #15 of 23
post #16 of 23
Of course you left the AC on for your little fur baby! Wouldn't think of the little baby getting overheated. Makes perfect sense to me. I went on vacation for a week and left the AC going. If the day got too cool, the kitty sitter turned it off for me.
post #17 of 23
Thread Starter 
He is a skinny little boy right now..but I am trying to fatten him up. I am pretty sure he has IBS...and don't want the surgery to find out for sure...but have to figure out what to do....

He is an intense little guy. Thanks for posting the pictures of him up!!!
post #18 of 23
I have 3 cats, and a dog, so I hope they enjoy keeping each other company while I'm at work.

G.Stein, I'm so jealous of you. I would give ANYTHING to be able to live in New York City!
post #19 of 23
Originally posted by GStein
He is a skinny little boy right now..but I am trying to fatten him up. I am pretty sure he has IBS...and don't want the surgery to find out for sure...but have to figure out what to do....
What makes you think he has IBS? I had a cat that had IBD and had to take medicine every day. Is he on any medication? We did an endoscopy to find out .. $600
post #20 of 23
Thread Starter 
Re: IBS. The vet would like to do the surgery to find out, but I would rather not because from all I have read, I think he has IBS. He has been checked for everything else (blood, x-rays etc) but still has had consistent diarhhia and vomitting (not food but clear stuff and hairballs). I live near a holistic pet store and tried aloe vera water and slippery elm...good food (wellness and innova). ALl kinds of things...but it sounds like he has IBS. He stopped eating for a bit a week or so ago and I took him to the vet and they kept him in there and gave him catheter IV and tested him. Then the vet gave him new food which is lamb and barley or something...and he is taking metrozodile (something like that) and antibiotics. So far he has been constipated more than anything since he has been home! But no diarihhea.
post #21 of 23
hey GStein, your kitty is so cute... when i first got meow meow, she always made me guilty leaving her at home while i worked... try the box with ping pong... it does work..at least for meow meow and zoey... i would get her this small little mouse that has got a long tail and meow loves it and she finds entertainment in it for a couple of hrs... but i guess no games is as good as u coming home after work and giving your kitty some good scritches...
post #22 of 23
oh...so silly of me... i forgot to welcome u to the board!! Welcome!!
post #23 of 23
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the welcome!

I will definitely try and box and the ping pong ball on the weekend! It is hard to have a "normal" life with my cat in a way....I need to maybe find a place with a roommate. Right now, if I want to go to yoga straight from work or something...he is there waiting for me. And next week I have a huge work event and will be out until late every night! I am trying to get a friend to go keep him company...but it is tough!
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