This is something that has been preying on my mind for several months, and I'd really like some unbiased input.
My step-daughter 2 years ago was a wonderful 13 year old kid. She had mostly A's a few B's was respectful, smart, stayed out of trouble, and was just generally a pleasure to be around.
She decided to move in with her mother as opposed to relocating with her father and I, and since then everything has gone to hell. She's now 15 and staying out all hours with her 20 year old boyfriend. She has in the past 13 months been arrested for assault, thrown out of a school, charged with poaching, drinking(hasn't been busted at it but admitted it to me), was caught by her MOTHER having sex with before mentioned 20 year old, and has dropped every activity and friend that doesn't involve being with this boy.
Where is her mother you ask? Doing her own thing. They've just moved for the 4th time in 16 months(much closer to the boyfriend, she could walk there now), which in itself isn't an awful thing, but 2 of these moves have been so "Mom" can live with a boyfriend. The last boyfriend move lasted 4 months. This woman also says my stepdaughter doing all of these things is "no big deal" as she did that stuff too. Her grades are still good(for now, poor kid has been to 7 different schools in the past year and a half)
My husband hasn't made her come live with us because she(Kimberly my stepdaughter) threatened to run away, flunk all her subjects on purpose, and to make all our lives and I quote "a living hell". He's also scared(he won't admit it) of his ex-wife who is a vindictive witch, I won't even get into what she threatened, I can't without cursing a blue streak.
Now for the question. I've more than once considered calling child services anonymously and reporting Carol(the "mom") for child neglect. Having discussed it with my husband he pretty much begged me not to, being terrified of what Carol would do. I'm really teetering on the edge of it being worth him being furious at me, Carol setting her nasty little eye on me, and Kimberly never speaking to me again to put an end to this. I feel like this child is throwing her life away and it kills me. I'm also selfishly worried over the effect she would have on my children if she came to live here.
Any advice would be much appreciated, even if it's stressing the other side of things. My mother was always huge on playing "devil's advocate" but I just don't have the ability to see another side on this. Thanks folks.
My step-daughter 2 years ago was a wonderful 13 year old kid. She had mostly A's a few B's was respectful, smart, stayed out of trouble, and was just generally a pleasure to be around.
She decided to move in with her mother as opposed to relocating with her father and I, and since then everything has gone to hell. She's now 15 and staying out all hours with her 20 year old boyfriend. She has in the past 13 months been arrested for assault, thrown out of a school, charged with poaching, drinking(hasn't been busted at it but admitted it to me), was caught by her MOTHER having sex with before mentioned 20 year old, and has dropped every activity and friend that doesn't involve being with this boy.
Where is her mother you ask? Doing her own thing. They've just moved for the 4th time in 16 months(much closer to the boyfriend, she could walk there now), which in itself isn't an awful thing, but 2 of these moves have been so "Mom" can live with a boyfriend. The last boyfriend move lasted 4 months. This woman also says my stepdaughter doing all of these things is "no big deal" as she did that stuff too. Her grades are still good(for now, poor kid has been to 7 different schools in the past year and a half)
My husband hasn't made her come live with us because she(Kimberly my stepdaughter) threatened to run away, flunk all her subjects on purpose, and to make all our lives and I quote "a living hell". He's also scared(he won't admit it) of his ex-wife who is a vindictive witch, I won't even get into what she threatened, I can't without cursing a blue streak.
Now for the question. I've more than once considered calling child services anonymously and reporting Carol(the "mom") for child neglect. Having discussed it with my husband he pretty much begged me not to, being terrified of what Carol would do. I'm really teetering on the edge of it being worth him being furious at me, Carol setting her nasty little eye on me, and Kimberly never speaking to me again to put an end to this. I feel like this child is throwing her life away and it kills me. I'm also selfishly worried over the effect she would have on my children if she came to live here.
Any advice would be much appreciated, even if it's stressing the other side of things. My mother was always huge on playing "devil's advocate" but I just don't have the ability to see another side on this. Thanks folks.
