Criticism over how much you spend on your cats

I'm fairly new to this forum.  I just had a bad vet visit with one of my senior cats.  My partner spoke to my future mother-in-law about it and she seemed to once again disapprove of how much we spend on our cats.  I've faced this NUMEROUS times in my life with friends, coworkers, and family members.  It's honestly hurtful..right now.

We have no children, do not want children, never have, and I can't have children.  We never take vacations, we have one economical vehicle, we dress ourselves in clothes purchased at thrift stores, we have never eaten out and I prepare all of our meals(not processed, primarily vegan), we use homemade/safe cleaning products, we have never gone out together to movies/bars/anything, and our only "indulgence" would have to be our health(supplements and whatnot). 

We feed our cats premium/natural canned food, meats, etc.  They use quality litter as well.  I don't vaccinate my older cats.  All of my cats are indoor-only.  We bring the seniors in for annual bloodwork/urinalysis/senior exam and we bring our younger boys in if we suspect any sort of problems.  We've probably spent roughly $5000 on veterinary care this year and that includes an MRI/spinal tap/ultrasounds for one of my cats.

I just wish people could look at how unselfish and thrifty we are before judging how much we spend on our cats.  They are out children.  My partner and I both have inherited health issues and this has taught us that nothing is more important than our own health and the health of those we love.  So many people take elaborate vacations, eat out constantly, and spend disgusting amounts on vanity.  We don't.  Our money goes to our health and the health and general well being of our cats. 

It's been a rough day and I'd appreciate hearing from other people who can relate to our experience. 

Ignore them. I am also like you, but single. Thrifty, homemade food, and don't really go out.

I feed my cats preliminary wet food, fancy feast wet food, raw meats, use premimum litter. I thought nothing of spending $3,600 on an emergency vet visit once, and pay for pet insurance ever since.

Cats have the same emotional centers as humans do, so it's natural to bond with our feline friends deeply. Once again, I say, ignore them. They don't know what they're talking about. Ask them how much they spend on their vices - smoking, drinking, eating, games, internet, driving, etc...

At least you guys are spending this money, in a positive way, for another life.

I can absolutely relate. I don't make a whole lot of money, but my health and the health of my cats are at the top of my priority list. They are precious to me and I would rather feed them premium food and provide good vet care then spend $ 100 a month on a cell phone bill.

It's nobody else's business what you spend on your cats, be it food, health care, or anything else. Don't let these people take up space in your head. I have never understood the need people have to control other people and the choices they make.

When someone asks you what the vet bill cost, tell them you aren't comfortable discussing your personal finances with other people. (it's a nicer way to say none of your business, while still saying it). Say Kitty is a member of the family. Then change the subject. If they want to harp on you calling "just a cat" a member of the family, simply refuse to take the bait. Walk away. Talk about books. Just don't be drawn in.

Yes I've taken flack for this kind of thing too. I am happy with my choices, and it's not anyone else's concern. Keep reminding yourself of that, and soon they won't be able to get your goat about it anymore.

I'm sorry to hear the vet visit didn;t go well. I hope your kitty is going to be okay?

First of all, I hope your kitty is okay.

Second of all, I know your frustration with dealing with people who believe you are spending too much on animals.  I've been a married, at home wife for 15 years now.  We have one car for my husband, a small house and four kitties.  We don't have children, haven't ever wanted to.  We like our life this way with me not working because he works shift work and all his off time is time we can have together.  We make an average income and live within our means.  We've always had animals and tried to take the best care of them we can, sometimes devoting all extra time and income to a problem situation.  I don't think this is an unreasonable way to live and over the years has gotten more flack about it than I care to remember.  People who are so concerned about how someone else is spending their time and money must be very bored and unsatisfied with their own life.  If someone asks me how much I'm spending on my cat's medical care, I ask them how much their last OB or prostate exam cost them.  If they want to make a point to be critial of the cost of pet food, cat toys or just time spent taking care of them in general, I make a point to be critical of the amount of botex they've been getting lately and how waxy they are starting to look.  All done in the same "I'm just worried about you" patronizing tone of voice.  I'm a very friendly person but have gotten a bit bitter over people insulting other's ways of life.    Cats (and the others animals) are a living creature, as we are.   There is some spirit or soul in them that is unique and individual in each one.  Each and every life is simply a gift.  It's your life and you seem happy with how you live it and what you spend your money on, these critical individuals are the ones with a problem.  Sorry for the speech, this just got me worked up.

I am single and don't have kids. My cats are my kids and I dote on them.

It's my money to spend, no one else's and if I want to spend my money on my cats, that's my business.

Do what I do. Don't talk about how much you spend on your pets; it will save you grief.  There are many people around that feel spending more than the bare basic amount is a waste of money and many others that would not even take their pet to a vet.

I tell people I have 3 cats, but unless it's with another cat lover, I don't bother mentioning the type of food, litter or my vet visits.
 

Ask them how much they spend on their hobbies (knitting, toy trains, knick-knack collections, whatever). Tell them the cats are your hobby. Then if they still annoy you, practice your "whatsit to ya" face :lol3:.

I have done the raising a family thing, the holidaying with partners and friends thing, and in my retirement I can choose what I spend my money on. I have never had more animals than I can afford, and now I can afford it, I have allowed myself to have more animals. I get flack too, but they are my family now (my daughter and I are close but she lives far away and has a good job) and depend on me. It is no-one else's business what I spend and on whom. Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you what your responsibilities are or what your priorities should be - only you know that. You are lucky in that you have a partner who shares your feelings - so often petcare can be a source of friction in an otherwise good relationship.

Hi, I agree with everyone else, your money, your buisness!! With 14 cats with lots of different dietary needs my cat food bill would make many wince but, hey, MY MONEY, MY BILLS, MY BABIES so BUTT OUT!!

I guess I'm lucky that while the people around me might think I'm a bit mad they accept how I feel about my furry family.

Stick to your guns and dont let em get you down!!

Mandy

People who critcize you for something that 

a) is not a problem

b) you have not asked them for advice about

c) brings you joy and harms no one

are jerks, imo.

You're clearly a very sweet and courteous person. No one in my life would say anything like this to me because I would give them a rather nasty, caustic tongue-lashing and/or just avoid them forevermore.

I don't have anything to add except to send you good vibes.  I understand your situation and I've been there, too.     

nurseangel said:

I don't have anything to add except to send you good vibes.  I understand your situation and I've been there, too. 

   

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I feel that how much I spend on my 5 ladies is my own business, and if other people don't like it they can go play on the freeway.  I have had people who spend thousands a year on hunting tell me that the ladies are "just cats" and not worth the money I spend.  I feel sad for ignorant people.

I can truely relate to what you are saying.  Without going into details, I've had many comments over the years from a parent, it's been painful, frustrating, angering at times. 

During my marriage, our vet bills have some years been hard to deal with financially, but we've always managed - these are our dearlings - kids or not (not), we'd consider them a part of our family, and I believe in taking care of my family.

We've simply said this is how we feel we should live, and care of those we care about..our choice.

In the middle of a horrific year, healthwise, finanacially/job stability wise etc., we had our worst ever health bills for one cat..we were just grateful that we managed to find the money, and get the care that gave this cat 6 more months.  The silver lining to the cloud was just being able to see him pull around and be happy and relatively healthy (though terminal).  We are grateful for the moments in life that the love of our cats, and their love of us, brings.

You are in a forum where, believe me, we understand and support the kinds of choices you make about your kitties!

I've had people say similar things to me. I don't have kids, I pay my other bills, I shop cheap, never been on a trip. I don't even have a car. People have said "why would you spend all that money on a cat? Why do you feed him food that's like 3 bucks a can? Its just a cat".

What they fail to realize is that Parker is my BABY. He is like a child to me. I don't want children (nor am I financially and emotionally prepared to raise a child). I want to raise cats/dogs. What I spend to make sure he's happy and healthy is MY business. I like to think I am a responsible pet owner. Its something I firmly believe in.
In return, I get unconditional love. That's what matters most to me.

I completely agree with all the comments above.

My husband and I are retired, we don't have children, fortunately have a house that is paid for and no real debt. I realize how lucky we are -- while there are people who have a lot more than we do, I realize that there are people who have a lot less. our only luxury is a cruise that we try to do once a year (and believe me the costs are not all that much). We love our 3 cats and will take them to the vet sooner than we go do the doctor --- except, of course, Paul has had a lot of medical issues this past year. We get complete love from our cats, which ismore than some of our friends who have children get from their kids and family. Our cats love us unconditionally and we take care of them unconditionally. It's absolutely nobody's business how your spend your money and take care of your pets. They have no right to judge or even ask.

Just keep doing what you're doing and enjoy the love you get from your babies. Everyone on this board understands and appreciates what you are doing. You are definitely not alone!

Unless you're hitting them up for money, it is none of their business. Your cats are well cared for and loved! People have given me (mostly good natured) flak for doting on Venus, but I try to hang on to the time when a friend told me how cool it was that Mr. VenusKitty and I were such conscientious pet owners, and that she wished more owners were like us.

I sincerely thank all of you for your replies, as does my partner.  We brought one of my senior cats(16) in for bloodwork/urinalysis after a rough day of vomiting.  He had an elevated liver enzyme so the vet did an ultrasound which revealed an enlarged gallbladder and a nodule on his liver.  He's currently doing very well; completely back to himself.  And now, of course, one of my other senior kitties is having issues and we're bringing him to the vet tomorrow.  He's stable but.. I don't take any chances with him given his history.

This is something I've faced for many years.  I remember sadly telling someone my cat was not doing well, I had spent $3500 on diagnostics, and this person suggested I spend the money on school.  I was working 60+ hours at the time as a retail manager,  sacrificing food/healthcare for myself, feeling insecure because I wore rags to my job(sales), etc.  I'm in a far better financial situation now, I have a partner who would do anything for our cats, and we've even been looking for another cat to adopt, even. 

My partner's mother, however, stated we bring our cats to the vet too often and that she'd rather spend that money on a vacation.  I'm not close/in contact with my own family so yeah, it's a bit hurtful.  We're responsible pet owners, we definitely have the money, we live a simple life, we donate to our local shelters, and our cats are our children/focus in life. 

Again, we thank you all for your words during this difficult time.  I've faced all of this throughout my life but it's still difficult..

Sounds like you're still down. For what it's worth.. I had a critically sick cat, and I was ready to sign over my car, yes, my car, to save him by covering vet bills. The emergency vet clinic will probably forever remember me as the girl who would sell her car for one cat, and never has a dry eye. The car wasn't cheap either. A Subaru outback in great condition. But could I drive this car again, knowing I didn't do everything i could to save him? No. Fortunately, they cut me a deal til morning, until I could run to the bank and see if I was approved for financing.

Once again, I reiterate, you are not alone. Many people do not understand the love and bond cats can share with people. A life is a life. You don't need to explain or divulge to people that won't understand.

I just read about this guy who founded a center in new jersey, a rescue, and a vet clinic in one. His cat, Tabby, was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died. He questioned his life after that, quit his job, and started the center. They like to take on special needs cats, although they take on normal cats too. This is a guy, whose life revolved around a cat, now cats, and turned it into something positive. Keep this in mind, and take heart. Don't mind those who mind your business.

I'm glad that your partner agrees with your choices; too often, that in itself can become a big stress issue. And really you two are the only ones who really matter, when it comes right down to it. I think we've all been there at one time or another. For some people, pet care can be a big decision to make when the cat or other animal is an older one and is ill. For others, well, there's no dithering....you just do it and that's that. And there are people who don't get it.

We have several older cats now with one in kidney failure and another one with pretty severe allergies. They are at the vet a lot. But it's our money and it's how we choose to spend it. One of my GFs simply doesn't get it; she doesn't understand that any pet is a lifelong committment. It's that simple.

I always tell my cats when I leave for work that I work to buy them kitty food and so that I can afford their vet visits. It's really all for the cats.