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I think the end is near

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
I've read so many posts from people in my situation & now that it's me I understand even more the torrment & extreem saddness. My Smokey has been battleing CRF for almost 2 years now. It's Sunday night at almost midnight & as of right now she has not eatten much of anything since Thrusday. I knew this day was coming, but I might as well not have known for the emense sorrow I feel. I dont' have any questions, or need any advice. I know what's happening to her little body I've educated my self on CRF enough to know what's going on. I just need to talk. If it weren't so late I'd call my sister. She tells me all the time I can call her whenever, but it just doesn't feel right to wake her up at 1 am her time. Not only have I educated my self about CRF my work with the local no-kill shelter has meant watching 2 cats with CRF stop eating & end up having to be put down. The very thought of having to do that to Smokey makes me want to vomit. I just want her to go to sleep. I'm going to call the vet in the morning & get her in. I'm praying I can get her in tomorrow, I don't think I can stand another day of this. To be totaly honest I think part of me is still in denial, or I wouldn't be able to make it through this. In order to make sure that I actually take her to the vet tomorrow I called & left a message with my boss saying I proably would not be in. that way I can't back out, or I would. Well I think I'm going to try to go to sleep, I may be back later.
post #2 of 20
I am so sorry, and I know that you and Smokey have fought the good fight for as long as possible. My prayers follow you in the night, and I know that morning arrives with a lump in your throat and a stone in your heart. Thank you for loving Smokey enough to realize the time is here to say goodbye. You have great strength and Smokey has great courage.
post #3 of 20
I'm so sorry to hear about Smokey. My thoughts and prayers will be with you, I know you are going to have a diffucult morning, but in you heart you know it's the right thing. Good night sweet Smokey.
post #4 of 20
I am so sorry about this.. I lost one of my cats to CRF about 2 years ago and I was so heartbroken. Maybe u can check into the possibility of having a vet come to ur home and put her to sleep at ur home instead of at the clinic? That's what I did with Sunniday- I had my vet come to my home cuz Sunniday HATED the vet and I didn't want her spending her last few minutes feeling upset or nervous. I paid a fee of I think $45 for the vet to come and put her to sleep. Two of my friends who were with me giving me support later on told me that they have seen many cats being put to sleep or passing on and that Sunniday's passing was one of the most peaceful they ever seen. I truly believe that it really helped having the vet at my home so Sunniday didn't feel threatened or nervous at all and was with me until the last..

HANG in there.. U gave Smokey a good home... I'm thinking of u..
post #5 of 20
I'd just like to give you a cyber {{HUG}} and tell you "I know...."
post #6 of 20
I also wanted to send a cyberhug your way. There's never a right time for this to happen but it is always an emotional and hard time to endure.

If you need to talk, remember there are many here who have been there and will listen for as long as you need someone.
post #7 of 20
My heart is going out to you (((( HUGS ))))
post #8 of 20
I'm so sorry about your baby. My friend had to put her cat down recently because of this as well

****many hugs****
post #9 of 20
(((*hugs*))) to you and Smokey.

Let loose the chains that bind my soul
That I may soar as meant to be
From darkened paths emerge to light
Be free.....
post #10 of 20
I'm so sorry. (((((((hugs))))))) I've been there too.
post #11 of 20
I'm sorry about your little Smokey. I feel your pain as I lost my first (and will always be my favorite) cat to CRF. {{{Hugs}} and love.

post #12 of 20
I have had to make this decision before also, and I am so sorry that this time has come for you and your precious Smokey. Just remember that your decision to allow Smokey's suffering to end is the greatest act of kindness of them all. We are here for you anytime you need to talk, and my thoughts are with you during this sad time.

R.I.P. little Smokey
post #13 of 20
My dear, I feel and share your pain. As for talking to someone, zap me an email or a private message with your number and I'll reply to it with mine. Around me, NO ONE cries alone. I am a nightowl and am usually always up until at least 2 Eastern time. I also have that great long distance where I don't pay a per-minute charge, so I can call you very inexpensively.

I know there is nothing I can say that will ease your pain but I wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling it.


post #14 of 20
I'm so very sorry to hear about Smokey. There are many people here who understand your pain. ((((HUGS))))
post #15 of 20
I'm sorry to hear about dear Smokey.

Both of you two had a great life together and to give him the best you can is wonderful. We are all here for you so please don't feel alone. If you need to talk to someone privately please do so.

Bless you and Smokey. May you both meet on the Rainbow Bridge - He'll be waiting for you there.

Please take care of yourself.

*Sends you some cyberhugs*.
post #16 of 20
When we let Macumba go, I hugged her close & she purred, then just slowly stopped purring, then that was it. It was very peaceful. I tried my best to not be sad for her until after she was gone, so she would be comfortable.

This is a very good website that explains what happens in euthanasia.

The Delta Society has lots of pet loss support info.

We're here if you need us.

post #17 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thankyou all so much for your kind words of support. Smokey is still with me as of right now. The reason being that the vet told me that she was not in pain, that he had seen higher kidney values & that some cats with the proper care can come out of kidney values where hers are. Her Creatin (SP?) was 73 & BUN was 3.6 a lot highr than in February, but because of the vet I agreed to give her sub-q fluids twice a day & give her potassium & force feed her. I'm lucky to have a very understanding boss, so I took the day off yesterday & will probably only work 6 hours a day the remainder of the week. Smokey has actually gotten a little worse, last night she had an accident on my bed while getting her 2nd set of sub-q fluids. She's not getting up to go to the litter box anymore. I put her in the litter box & she goes. I know I could take her back in at any time, but I have an appointment made for Saturday & if she does not pass away before that I will have her put to sleep on Saturday. (I know some would disagree, but I still feel like I owe her one last chance at continued life) I just keep praying that she will pass away at home. I don't believe she is in any pain, I think she is just tired as she just sleeps all the time. I would appreciate prayers that she quietly go to sleep at home.
post #18 of 20
((((((*big hugs to you*)))))))

I wish I knew something more to say......
post #19 of 20
I am crying as I read your post. My heart goes out to you, as the pain you are going through is so palpable, and I have been through losing a much-loved pet, more than once.... I wish you strength in the decisions you will be making and comfort for your kitty AND to you too...
post #20 of 20
Oh Rang27,

I was so sorry to read your post! I wish I would've been online that night as I'm a nightowl and live in your area and you could've called me and I would've tried to help ease your pain as best I could. I'm so very sorry about your baby. It sounds like you are doing the absolute best thing you can for her. I am saying tons of prayers for you as requested. Again, I am so very sorry for all your pain.

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