Re-socializing a kitten

Short Version:

I need some advice on how to socialize a kitten who is ~10 weeks old and seems to have some pretty serious behavioural/social problems.  I'm fostering her, and as as far as I can piece her history together, she was adopted at about 5 weeks of age as a gift for a 2-year-old and now they want to get rid of the cat.  I'm pretty sure that a combination of being removed from the mother too early and being mauled by a 2-year-old has given this cat some baggage.  

Kitten hisses and growls at everything - all people and animals.  She completely loses it  when I try to pick her up.  She turns into a tornado of claws and teeth without warning (I've got the scars to prove it!).  I'm guessing the toddler she used to live with used to pick her up rough and that's why she freaks out. She's really jumpy and kind of acts like she wants to interact with people and animals, but doesn't know how to act or whether or not she can trust anyone.  

She's young enough that I think it'll turn out okay, but I was wondering if anyone had any experience with this type of kitten.  She reminds me of a litter of feral kittens I tamed a few years ago, except that she doesn't seem to have very good inter-cat social skills.  Right now, I have her in a large dog crate by herself with water, bed, and litterbox.  I take her out several times a day to hand-feed her, and I play with her with a toy mouse.  She always hisses at me when she first sees me, but she calms down quicker and quicker.  

The good news: she loves food and she loves toys, and that has helped her trust me. She even keeps her claws in when she play-bats, so that's nice.  

The bad news: she's really unpredictable and I have no idea when she's about to freak out.  She doesn't give warnings like a normal cat would.  

Some More Backstory:

So, I'm currently fostering a litter of kittens that were abandoned by their mother (or she died - all I know is, she was a stray and she went AWOL leaving her kittens crying for food in a barn).  I estimate their age at about 6 weeks at the moment.  They got their baby molars right after I brought them home, so I figured they were ~4 weeks old then, and that was two weeks ago.  I got some kitten formula and bottle fed them and all that jazz.  My dog even "adopted" then, cleaned them, cuddled them, and even carried them back to their bed in his mouth if they wandered off too far.  They love him and follow him around, and he takes really good care of them.  So, over all, I think these kittens are doing really well and being socialized well.  I also have a friendly adult cat that hangs out with them and my three kids (ages 6, 4, and 2) who handle them (with careful supervision!).  I have a large dog kennel in my living room which I added a second floor to, and it has everything they need, so they spend time in there when they want to be left alone.  

So, basically, I think I have a good set-up for these kittens.  I saw an ad on Kijiji of someone giving away a kitten and from the picture, the kitten looked about 4-5 weeks old.  I responded and said she looked too young to be away from her mother, but if there was no mother, I could take her in and keep her with my other little ones, and explained briefly about how being with siblings is good for a cat's social development, etc etc.  She responded and said that sounded great, and arranged to bring her over. 

Well, she arrived and I realized that was definitely an old picture!  The lady admitted that the picture was taken a month ago, and that she thinks she did adopt the kitten when she was too young to be away from her mother.  She said she got the kitten for her 2-year-old daughter and has to rehome her now due to allergies, but I think it's more likely that the cat has been scratching and biting the 2-year-old based on the way she acts and how eager the lady was to get rid of her.  When she was done talking, she basically threw Kitten into my arms and ran away from my house.  

You are apparently on good way to rehabilitate this one (and foster his new siblings).  Time is your ally too..

 I think the key word for this one, is not "feral", but "abused" / "totally stressed" / "traumatized".

So the advice for now is to look up these words, and see if you get useful ideas.

Perhaps a Feliway adapter as a little extra help can also be useful.

But as said, you are doing all right, and the situation in your house is as nearly as the absolutely optimal there can be. You, your well behaving children, this very friendly motherly dog, your friendly resident cat...  Small new siblings.

Seeing the interaction among other friendly animals, and your interaction with them, is a help for him.

For the moment I dont have clear cut advices.

Keep us updated!

Welcome to our Forums!

Good luck!

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FIrst, thank you for fostering and trying to help all of these kittens get socialized so they can find their forever homes! It sounds like you are doing everything right and making good progress with her (that she will eat out of your hand, play with you, ect). This may not add anything but here are some thoughts: 

Is she penned by herself because of her behavior or because you don't want to intermingle the two litters yet? You of course want to make sure that all the kittens are free of illnesses and germs so they don't cross contaminate each other, but after that I would start introducing her to the others. It will be good for her to have some playmates as she learns how to trust again. When she sees you interacting with the other kittens and them enjoying it it will help show her that not all humans are scary. 

Since your girl sounds food motivated I would really work that angle. You are definitely on the right track by hand feeding her but I would go one step further. Every time you approach her I would have a treat in hand. In theory, if she starts to associate something she loves (food) with a human she will start to trust more. I would treat her after she does anything positive- playing with a toy = treat, getting pet= treat, laying on the floor=treat. Be a human treat dispenser! 

Since she seems fearful of being handled (and your theory is probably right on as to why) I would avoid it as much as possible. Start with the basics and work up to that. I would start off just trying to pet her without a negative reaction and to do that I would get on her level and slowly extend your hand out and let her sniff you. If she wants pets she can lean into it. Do short petting sessions and stop before she gets agitated- that will help reinforce to her that it's supposed to feel good and not scary. 

As far as introducing her to the other kittens/rest of the house: If possible I would have her cage in a separate room and start leaving the door open so she can explore just that room. Once she gets comfortable with that start leaving the door open to the rest of the house and let her explore at her own pace. If she seems nervous or anxious just close her back in. She's probably fearful of quick movements so avoid those if at all possible and be careful that you don't sneak up on her. 

I think your right that she's still young enough and with some work and some patience she can likely learn to trust people again. Granted, she probably won't ever like young children but she could easily warm back up to adults. 

Above all, just go super slow and give her a lot of praise. I know you said she's not communicating when she's going to attack but she may be giving off some signals in her own way. Really watch her body language and see if you can pinpoint anything. If not, use a lot of wand toys to spare your hands! 

Thank you again for taking her in and committing to working with her. Are you new to fostering or have you been doing it for awhile? Are you with a rescue or just on your own? Regardless of the circumstances thank you- there can never be enough kitten fosters out there! 

Welcome to TCS!

It seems Stefan and I were replying at the same time so I didnt get to read his post first. 

I agree a Feliway diffuser may really help. Also, I didnt see that you had kids too. At first I probably wouldn't let them handle her- just get her used to you. But, once she gets more comfortable having them there may be a huge benefit. She can learn that not all kids are scary! Especially if she's in the same room as the other kittens. It will take the focus off of her and she can observe what healthy interactions are. When your kids do start to approach her they should always have a treat in hand. Although, I'm guessing that won't happen until her behavior is a bit more predictable. 

Kitten now has a name.  DH has really taken a liking to her and is calling her Mileena.  I was calling her Meanie-Pants, so she needed a real name, lol.  My 4-year-old didn't like that name because "cats don't even wear pants!"  I will have to post a picture as soon as I manage to get a good one.  She's a beautiful brown classic tabby.  From above, her markings look like a butterfly on her shoulders.  

Anyway, she's doing pretty well now.  She is spending time in the bigger cage with the little kittens.  She pretty much never stops growling, but everyone just ignores her and goes about their business and she's starting to relax.  The kittens just play, sleep, eat, and whatever else, and don't mind her at all.  My dog seems offended that Mileena doesn't like him.  He went up to her like, "Oh, hey, a new kitty friend!  Great!" and then she hissed and swatted him and he turned and looked at me all sad.  She was still in the cage, of course, so he just curled up and went to sleep next to the cage.  She spent the next half hour hackles raised, staring at him sleeping and growling.  He ignored her, which is perfect.  

Actually, she stares and growls a lot.  For instance, I crocheted a little hammock for the cat cage that all the kittens like to pile into.  Mileena likes it, too, but she only wants to go in by herself.  So, if she approaches the hammock and it's occupied, she'll just sit there, staring at the sleeping kittens, and growling.  It's amazing how long she keeps her defenses up.  It seems exhausting.  I think that with enough time, she will see that no one is hurting her and she will start to socialize with the other cats more and learn how to be a cat.  Everyone's doing their job and ignoring her when she's hissy.  

She's tolerating being touched by humans more, too, but still freaks out if I try to pick her up.  For this reason, I don't let her out of the cage often, because if she runs into a corner and I have to go retrieve her, it could become complicated.  We have leather gloves on hand just in case, but we'd rather not have an escalated situation in the first place.  She doesn't hiss at the sight of us anymore, and usually doesn't hiss if we reach out to touch her, but she sometimes bats your hand away if you get too close.  

The kids look at her in the cage and talk to her, but aren't allowed to touch her.  She seems okay with it.  The way the cage is set up, she has darker corners in the back if she doesn't want to be close to anyone, but she actually spends most of her time up close to the front looking at everyone.  

Is she penned by herself because of her behavior or because you don't want to intermingle the two litters yet?

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Because I thought the cage in the living room had too much stimulation for her right away.  I had her in a different cage in my bedroom where she would be left alone except when I visit her.  

Are you new to fostering or have you been doing it for awhile? Are you with a rescue or just on your own?

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I'm not new to fostering.  As I said in my OP, I tamed a litter of feral kittens a few years ago.  I also bottle fed a litter of abandoned kittens before, but that time, the kittens were much younger, with closed eyes, and I had to wipe them regularly so they'd relieve themselves.  This time is much easier!  The kittens toilet on their own (although they did poop in their sleep for the first little while). I take in homeless animals when they present themselves and I fostered for a dog rescue for a while.  

These kittens were being offered on freecycle, but I knew they weren't old enough to be given out to new homes alone so I took them all.  DH and I have been thinking of adding a new cat, so we figured we'd adopt one of these little kitties and rehome the rest.  In the mean time, they're just growing up and being kittens until they're old enough.  I hope I can find friends to adopt them, because I'm really attached to all of them!  

I did contact a few rescues to see if they'd help out or even just so a courtesy listing.  Most didn't reply to me, but one replied and said I would pay for all the vet care/neutering/microchip/everything else, but they'd take the adoption fee.  I don't see the point in that, especially when I can cut costs by de-worming, de-fleaing, and microchipping myself, which the rescue lady didn't like.  I have that stuff on hand anyway.  She says the least expensive vet she can find spays and all the rest for $230.  It's been a while since I had a cat neutered, but my female was spayed and vaccinated for about $100 a few years ago, so it seems pointless to spend extra money.  I mean, if I'm going to spend twice as much money, I may as well spend it saving twice as many cats, know what I mean?  

Okay that is a lot more information and really puts the situation into perspective. 

It sounds to me like you are doing everything right and really thinking ahead about what's best for her. Having her separate at first was by far the right move, and now it makes sense why you are caging her with the others. I'm glad you have gloves on hand just in case but you are very wise to try and keep her confined to prevent having to use them, which would of course be very traumatizing for her. 

It sounds like the caging for her is a very positive experience- it lets her engage while still feeling safe and separated. Pretty genus if you ask me! 

 I suppose with getting help from a shelter it just depends on what they are offering vs. what you can do yourself. If you are comfortable de-worming and de-fleaing on your own and have kitten safe products to use then that may change things. I would look into the cost for vaccinating/altering though. Many places have low fee clinics or your vet may be willing to work with you. Otherwise, letting the shelter adopt them out may be the cheapest (and easiest) way to go about things. But, that's a personal choice based on the circumstances. At least you know it is an option! 

I knew you had raised a litter of ferals but I didn't know if that was just a one time thing a long time ago or if you foster regularly through an organization. It doesn't matter either way- whatever help you decide to give is a huge benefit and it sounds like you do more than your fair share! I was just curious about your experience and comfort level with kittens. A lot of people come on here never having had one kitten, let alone a full litter and it definitely changes the advice! 

It sounds like you know exactly what you are doing. Keep up the good work and keep us posted! 

So... I guess her name is Kubla Khan, not Mileena.  According to DH, that is.  Fine with me.  I just wanted something to call her. 

Anyway, thank you for your kind words!  I feel more reassured now.  I was worried of doing something wrong and making matters worse.  She is having an absolutely amazing transformation, though.  After being with us for a few days, she's snuggling and playing with her kitten siblings like a normal kitty.  She's warming up to us humans, too.  She still doesn't like being picked up, but rather than having a complete freak-out, she just flattens her ears and swings her tail back and forth, so she is clearly annoyed, but not aggressive.  We are still trying not to pick her up as much as possible, but since we can now do so safely, she is getting more freedom.  She still doesn't like the dogs at all, but she is caring less and less about their presence.  She has probably never been around dogs, so I think her reaction is pretty normal.  

She has really developed a rapport with my DH.  She will actually go sit in his lap or curl up at his feet, so we have been letting her sleep in our room at night for some nice, quiet time together.  He is growing very attached to her and I'm pretty sure she'll be staying with us permanently.  He spends lots of time playing with her and hand feeding her yummy treats.  And look at this picture he made!  He took this while I was at school and edited it.  How cute!  Isn't she so pretty?  I love her little ear tufts.  

Aaawwwwwww she really is just adorable!!!! 

I know that fear that you are doing something wrong and that you are going to end up making things worse- I have it all the time! I have learned that the best thing you can do is listen to your gut- it sounds like you did here and you are seeing some pretty miraculous changes in her behavior! The fact that she is warming up so quickly is a very good sign for the future. I have no doubt that a little more time with you and she will be back to her normal carefree self! Although, it sounds like she might be getting more than just a little bit of time with you! 

Yeah her reaction to the dogs sounds pretty standard for a kitten who has never been around one. I think what most people hope for is extreme indifference between the two. If you are lucky she will warm up and be a dog lover! 

She may never like being held- some cats are just like that. But, the fact that you can pick her up if you need to without getting mauled is a huge improvement. I'm so glad she's able to get a little more freedom now. Not only does she trust you a lot more but you are trusting her. That is huge given where you two started. 

All in all I say fantastic work! I love the name Kubla Khan- it's adorable! Based on the amount of time that went into that picture I would say you have a new permanent member of the family. Congratulations! It sounds like it is all working out the way it was meant to. It seems to me that she came to you for a reason and has picked your family as the one she wants to stay with! 

Update pic: Kubla in the hammock with her "little brother" curled up on top of her.  So cute!

Oh that is precious!!

Your kitty's story really tugged at my heart. What a beautiful little lady she is. What a blessing she found you and your family to give her a second chance.

bigperm20 said:

Your kitty's story really tugged at my heart. What a beautiful little lady she is. What a blessing she found you and your family to give her a second chance.

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I 100% agree! 

Aww, thanks you guys!  She's curled up in my lap right now.  She's adjusted really well and is a totally different cat than when she arrived.  She amazes us.

That just goes to show that no one, human or feline, is ever beyond hope. 

This isn't the best picture quality because I was trying to take it quickly with my phone before anyone moved, but... Look at Kubla cuddled up with my 2-year-old daughter!  When people come over all she wants to do is cuddle.  No one can believe that she used to be all hisses and claws.  

Aaawwwww I love this pic!

Thanks so much for updating us on how Kubla is doing. What an incredible success story! I'm laughing because I don't know a ton of really well socialized cats who would tolerate a 2 year old leaning against them- especially with such an armful of toys!   She seems very content with it all- such a change from the state she came to you in! 

So glad this has all worked out. Kubla truly was meant to be with your family! (Oh, and how cute is your daughter?!?!?! Adorable!)

Thanks!  It really is remarkable, especially since we originally thought we'd have to home her with someone who didn't have children.  Kubla actually saw her playing on the couch and decided to snuggle her.  Here's another pic.  If there's snuggling going on, Kubla is there!

 

A wonderful story indeed! Thanks for sharing and giving updates

What a wonderful story of redemption. Give Kubla a snuggle for me, will ya? :-)

Wonderful update photos