Gryphon's Last Days

Hi, I'm new to this site, having just found it while researching feline lymphoma. My boy Gryphon (who has never had any health issues AT ALL! in his 16 years) was diagnosed with lymphoma about 5 weeks ago. I have studiously avoided thinking about any negative outcome of this diagnosis, preferring instead to focus strictly on hope and possitive vibes while we underwent chemo. Several of the stories/threads I've read on this site have enabled me to maintain my hope for a good outcome.

Unfortunately, this past Tuesday night, Gryphon had a bloody vomit episode following his doxorubicin treatment. He was taken to the emergency clinic for fluids, etc; and then transferred to his regular vet's office for a blood tranfusion and ultrasound the next morning. The results of the ultrasound showed that the lymphoma has now spread to his intestines, kidneys and spleen. There is nothing left to be done.

The vet and I had the quality of life discussion, made plans for him to come to my house when it's time, and discussed how I'll know when that time has come.

I've read many similiar stories here, and found some great advice, but nobody tells you how to behave / cope with the devestation while he's still here.

It can't be helpful to him that I can't stop crying. I'm also sure that the hovering isn't good for him either. I'm trying to let him be, but I find myself wanting to spend every moment of the day with him now that I know that his time is almost gone. Most of the time he is amenable to marathon snuggles, but that is not our norm. Although he has become slightly more needy for attention since he's gotten sick, he still maintains the cat credo of wanting attention only when he wants it. We have our daily rituals of togetherness, but now that's not enough for me.

So, can anybody tell me how to reassert some normalcy for his sake? How does one go about business as usual? Being a holiday weekend, I've had excessive time off to do nothing but obsess over his every move. I don't know how long he has left, and I want to make it as comfortable for him as possible. Right now, he is still eating, drinking and using the litterbox ok. His back leg isn't cooperating all that well following the chronic anemia he experienced after the blood filled vomit, but he still manages to get everywhere he wants to go. Trying to process that this is the end, and not knowing how long we have is killing me. I don't want him to suffer for my heartbreak.

I'd like to be able to function as close to our normal routine as possible with the exception of extra love when he wants it, anything he wants to eat or do, etc. He will be even more spoiled than he's ever been.

For the most awesome kitty boy ever, please help me deal with this.....

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry you are going through this!

I went through the same thing, this very time last year. My Tolly was gone only 19 days after his first symptom showed up. I was determined to be cheerful at home, I didn't want Tolly spending his last days in a morgue. Sometimes I worried I was creepy-cheerful, haha.

When I needed to cry I went outside and walked around the yard, or sat in my car and gave in to my emotions, then came back inside.

I understand the need to hover. You've got to get out, even if it's just for an hour at a time. A half hour even. Go for a walk. Go to the store. Go to the library. When you come back, and find Gryphon curled up sleeping peacefully, you'll feel refreshed.

Keep routines as normal as possible while making sure he is doing all his favorite things. Make sure he can get to his litter box easily. Poor Tolly found the stairs hard to take. I put a litter box in my bathroom for him, but he couldn't adjust to it, he still wanted to use the boxes downstairs, so I carried him down and up, multiple times a day.

I'm so sorry you and your beloved Gryphon are facing this sad ending. I hope he enjoys his life for as long as possible.

Thank you Otto, and I'm sorry for your loss as well.

You mentioned your experience was also around this time last. How did you cope with the upcoming Christmas season? As of this moment, I can't imagine going through all of the holiday decorating, baking, etc. like everything is normal. It doesn't feel like a time for celebration to me.

I've placed bowls with often refreshed water all over the house for him, so he won't have to go far when he's thirsty (as he seems to frequently be). He gets whatever he wants in the way of food (he is especially ecstatic over the thanksgiving turkey and ham bits), and whenever he decides to have a nap somewhere other than my lap, I'll get up and do the things that need to be done. I think he will feel more normalcy when I return to the work routine on Monday, although I dread having to leave him at all.

I appreciate your insights, especially knowing how painful it is to think about.

Oh hun, I'm so sorry.

This is an ordeal we have yet to face. Our Lazlo was diagnosed with lymphoma last year. We are so very, very fortunate that he responded to chemo, the cancer didn't spread. :heart2: It was a large mass in his stomach. If he comes out of remission, although we don't regret at all the chemo, and he was sooooo good about all the required vet trips, we won't put him through it again. I worry excessively over every little thing with him, any little change... and though the situations aren't comparable at all, I just do my best to accept each day as a gift and spoil him rotten.

My thoughts are with you and your Gryphon! :heart3:

My Elmo had a similar situation. At 7 years old we found out he had a large mass in is abdomen. The vet said she could try and remove it, but once he was on the table if it was inoperable she would euthanize him. I decided that I would just enjoy what time we had left. A mass that large surely was attached to his major organs. We spoiled him rotten. Gave him all the treats he wanted. Took him outside for hours. When he got weaker, I made it easie for him to climb on to the bed and into his chair. Brought a litter box upstairs. Just spent as much time as I could. I monitored him constantly, looking for signs of pain, then we would euthanize. One day he wouldn't get out of his bed. I made the call to the vet, but he passed before his appointment. It was very fast. He lasted a month from his diagnosis. Writing this still gets me teary eyed.

Unfortunately there isn't an easy way to go about life as normal except to try to do it, and to find distractions from the worst moment.

When I had a terminally ill cat last year it helped me a lot to plan what would happen at the end of his life - I found a lovely local pet crematorium - and I also sorted out all the photos I had of him.  When the time came having the plan already made was a real blessing as I was quite ill at the time with a cold and not really up to having to decide those things at that momen.

I also found it helped hugely that he was 15 1./2 so had had a decent lifespan, and he was clearly happy right up to the last day or so.

When his time had come I discovered that the past few months had been very, very stressful.  He had regular steroid injections at the vet that kept him going far longer than anyone expected (vets as well as me) but each time I went there I was wondering if I would bring him home...  The last time I knew I wouldn't.